Has anyone heard me use this phrase before? I know some have. What does it mean? Sometimes your friends cock-block you when you're out talking to a couple of females and they just say some info that doesn't need to be put out there. And sometimes, and in this case, you have to put yourself out there, so this is me kind of calling me out. And it's a public apology.
My head hasn't been straight the last few days. Not an excuse, an explanation. If you've made it past the 3rd grade, you ought to be able to comprehend that last sentence. I've apparently compressed some stuff that when added to losing a job and about to lose an apartment and some other realizations, well, I shut down. It's great that I have some close friends who look out for me, even if they're not quite sure how. Some of them do know what's up, and I've thanked them and will continue to do so. And the only reason that they do know anything is because they've asked. More like pried the info out of me, but they've definitely pursued the info, and they got it. No need to worry, my world is not crumbling around me, just frustrated at the nonsense and the efforts made by me to straighten some of this garbage out. It's getting sifted, slowly but surely. Since I'm being all honest, one of my best friends pestered me enough that I finally let some of it out. And I now realize how much I've been banging my head up against the wall and just have to let some things be the way that they are. If I were to be right about everything, well, it would be awfully boring and I'd have nothing to write about. And you'd have nothing to read about on the can, on the bus, during a meeting or whatever. Now what good would that do?
I learned this lesson about the personal front street from 3 people, two very important to me, and one I'm not even a huge fan of. The two people who I care about that taught me this are my Ma & Pops. They told me that if I couldn't be honest with myself then it was pointless to try and expect anyone to be honest with you. Fair enough. The other person that I snagged this from was watching Howard Stern in 'Private Parts'. He stated (and I'm paraphrasing here) that if he didn't talk about his personal life then he'd be a fraud and have no audience. Like he was telling an incomplete truth. Now, Howard was/is pretty successful, and if you go based on the two boys that they raised, I'd consider Ma & Pops a success. To add to this lesson, another one is to own up to your mistakes, apologize, and hope that they can find it in their heart to forgive you. If you're sincere, chances are they will. At least in this case, that's what I'm hoping. If you don't want to read this because it's only addressed to her, skip a paragraph or two. If you do, here goes...
Katelyn, I'm sorry. I wrote that last blog post without malice. You can choose to believe that, or not. But it is the truth. I don't have the wherewithall to be mean enough to purposefully to hurt someone, especially you, in something I write. I know, I could have gone back right after hitting the 'publish' button and quickly added your name, and no one would know the difference. But it wouldn't have been honest. As soon as I read it after I published it I made the choice to keep it as is. And then I sent you a text message, pretty much saying 'my bad'. I'm not sure if I can put into words, but I'm going to try. Since this is my forum, no one can yell at me. You can choose to ignore me after you've read it. We shall see. So why aren't you a friend? Good question-maybe it's a 'time served' thing. Nah, that's not it, and it would be too simple of a cop-out. I didn't give the title of this post Front Street for nothing. Our history hasn't exactly been a smooth one. But I'm pretty sure it's because I want more. You know that. So you'd be more than a friend, kind of a super-friend. Lame, I know. Just my thoughts. That's all this blog is most of the time. But I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm sure I could muster up the meanness to do so if I wanted, but you know that's never been my intention, that's not what's in my head nor in my heart. I can only tell you that while I'm certain other guys are chasing, and I wish them the best of luck, well-I really don't. What kind of idiot tells any other guy interested in the same woman 'Good Luck'? Even I am not that damn foolish. Chris Rock has a joke where he states you'll never find anyone like you, someone who likes Seinfeld and the Wu-Tang Clan. And maybe he was right. But we have certain similar interests. And maybe one day whatever 'this' is could be something. Heck, it could be nothing more than it is right now. It could turn into less than this, I'm well aware. My intention for that blog posting was just a review of 12 years of me being in Denver, and while you've been a part of it, it wasn't a 'girls I've liked' posting. Not an excuse, an explanation. Most of the people that read this know exactly what kind of an idiot I've been when it comes to you, that even I would've called me a dumbass by now. Not that I care what they think when it comes to you. It's my life, hell, it's my blog. I'm just sayin'....
So for those that read this, g'head, mock away. I don't care. This was really only for one person, but if I don't let the rest of you into my numbnut world then I'm doing a disservice to myself and to my friends. That's not how I do things. It can't be. Sometimes I get burned for saying things, or for holding them back. Well, not this time. I mean, I could get burned, but I can live with that possibility knowing I left it out there for people to see.
For those that didn't read it and won't, your call. I plan on totally ripping into some folks in the next few days...and in case you'd like a preview, Barbara Boxer, Michael Jackson, TMZ, Alec Baldwin (you'll be surprised, really), Republicans and their penises (just wait, you'll see, I can attack them, too!), those idiots on Capitol Hill spending all our money on uselessness, and Manny...oh, Manny. I thought I was going to let bygones be bygones, but not after this past weekend. Nope, you've done stepped in it now, Sideshow ManRam.
My head hasn't been straight the last few days. Not an excuse, an explanation. If you've made it past the 3rd grade, you ought to be able to comprehend that last sentence. I've apparently compressed some stuff that when added to losing a job and about to lose an apartment and some other realizations, well, I shut down. It's great that I have some close friends who look out for me, even if they're not quite sure how. Some of them do know what's up, and I've thanked them and will continue to do so. And the only reason that they do know anything is because they've asked. More like pried the info out of me, but they've definitely pursued the info, and they got it. No need to worry, my world is not crumbling around me, just frustrated at the nonsense and the efforts made by me to straighten some of this garbage out. It's getting sifted, slowly but surely. Since I'm being all honest, one of my best friends pestered me enough that I finally let some of it out. And I now realize how much I've been banging my head up against the wall and just have to let some things be the way that they are. If I were to be right about everything, well, it would be awfully boring and I'd have nothing to write about. And you'd have nothing to read about on the can, on the bus, during a meeting or whatever. Now what good would that do?
I learned this lesson about the personal front street from 3 people, two very important to me, and one I'm not even a huge fan of. The two people who I care about that taught me this are my Ma & Pops. They told me that if I couldn't be honest with myself then it was pointless to try and expect anyone to be honest with you. Fair enough. The other person that I snagged this from was watching Howard Stern in 'Private Parts'. He stated (and I'm paraphrasing here) that if he didn't talk about his personal life then he'd be a fraud and have no audience. Like he was telling an incomplete truth. Now, Howard was/is pretty successful, and if you go based on the two boys that they raised, I'd consider Ma & Pops a success. To add to this lesson, another one is to own up to your mistakes, apologize, and hope that they can find it in their heart to forgive you. If you're sincere, chances are they will. At least in this case, that's what I'm hoping. If you don't want to read this because it's only addressed to her, skip a paragraph or two. If you do, here goes...
Katelyn, I'm sorry. I wrote that last blog post without malice. You can choose to believe that, or not. But it is the truth. I don't have the wherewithall to be mean enough to purposefully to hurt someone, especially you, in something I write. I know, I could have gone back right after hitting the 'publish' button and quickly added your name, and no one would know the difference. But it wouldn't have been honest. As soon as I read it after I published it I made the choice to keep it as is. And then I sent you a text message, pretty much saying 'my bad'. I'm not sure if I can put into words, but I'm going to try. Since this is my forum, no one can yell at me. You can choose to ignore me after you've read it. We shall see. So why aren't you a friend? Good question-maybe it's a 'time served' thing. Nah, that's not it, and it would be too simple of a cop-out. I didn't give the title of this post Front Street for nothing. Our history hasn't exactly been a smooth one. But I'm pretty sure it's because I want more. You know that. So you'd be more than a friend, kind of a super-friend. Lame, I know. Just my thoughts. That's all this blog is most of the time. But I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm sure I could muster up the meanness to do so if I wanted, but you know that's never been my intention, that's not what's in my head nor in my heart. I can only tell you that while I'm certain other guys are chasing, and I wish them the best of luck, well-I really don't. What kind of idiot tells any other guy interested in the same woman 'Good Luck'? Even I am not that damn foolish. Chris Rock has a joke where he states you'll never find anyone like you, someone who likes Seinfeld and the Wu-Tang Clan. And maybe he was right. But we have certain similar interests. And maybe one day whatever 'this' is could be something. Heck, it could be nothing more than it is right now. It could turn into less than this, I'm well aware. My intention for that blog posting was just a review of 12 years of me being in Denver, and while you've been a part of it, it wasn't a 'girls I've liked' posting. Not an excuse, an explanation. Most of the people that read this know exactly what kind of an idiot I've been when it comes to you, that even I would've called me a dumbass by now. Not that I care what they think when it comes to you. It's my life, hell, it's my blog. I'm just sayin'....
So for those that read this, g'head, mock away. I don't care. This was really only for one person, but if I don't let the rest of you into my numbnut world then I'm doing a disservice to myself and to my friends. That's not how I do things. It can't be. Sometimes I get burned for saying things, or for holding them back. Well, not this time. I mean, I could get burned, but I can live with that possibility knowing I left it out there for people to see.
For those that didn't read it and won't, your call. I plan on totally ripping into some folks in the next few days...and in case you'd like a preview, Barbara Boxer, Michael Jackson, TMZ, Alec Baldwin (you'll be surprised, really), Republicans and their penises (just wait, you'll see, I can attack them, too!), those idiots on Capitol Hill spending all our money on uselessness, and Manny...oh, Manny. I thought I was going to let bygones be bygones, but not after this past weekend. Nope, you've done stepped in it now, Sideshow ManRam.
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