After a raucous Thursday night (yeah yeah yeah, I get it, the Nuggets beat the Celtics, now please pay and drive thru), I had a ruh-gged time waking up Friday morning. No, not a hangover, just an incredible lack of sleep. I actually ate McDonald's twice in one day, and all I got was the McSweats. Nothing wrong with my stomach or my head, just that I felt unseasonably warm in my office-I think that was all the sugar going thru my system. Suffice to say, I didn't do much on Friday night.
Yesterday, however, is a whole different ballgame. First, the weather on Friday was light snow when I woke up and hovered around 33 degrees most of the day. Saturday? Vastly different, somewhere around sunny and 60ish. I helped a buddy move, paused in the middle of the move to watch Syracuse slap Georgetown in the mouth (2 road wins against ranked teams? Yup, I'll take both of 'em!), back to helping move furniture. Then, off to my buddy Dan-O's for quality family time and playing with my niece and nephew. My niece wasn't overly thrilled to see me, but that is blamed on lack of sleep (hers, not mine, ya jerks) and it takes her awhile to wake up. I know that feeling. The ManChild, my nephew, was super happy to see me and get picked up and fed and tickled and watch me make goofy faces at him.
Today is Lazy damn Sunday. I talked to Ma Dukes, then packed up my laptop backpack (that's right, you all can have your professional looking satchels/courier bags, I got me a backpack) and went to venture out into my 'hood. A few blocks later I found where I wanted to be, a coffee shop that serves sammiches. I recommend what I got-a warm roast beef with fontina cheese, on crusty sourdough and a horseradish/dill sauce on the side. All what I needed to get me thru about 1/3 of my fantasy baseball reading boredom. I left the house because I knew if I tried reading this dry crap at home I'd be in bed napping after 4 pages. After almost 2 hours, I headed back home. I like this neighborhood, a mix of old and very new, a few light rail train stops, and I think it will be fun during the spring and summer.
Then I came home and took my roommates' daughter (she doesn't live with us, just an fyi) out for ice cream (mmmmm, ice cream). And since then I've been searching for articles and doing some reading. As I said, Lazy damn Sunday. Here's what I got:
Sometimes I wish this state and country had an 'eye for an eye' type of law. Read this about some kid who got burned at a party and tell me what you think, I'm curious. You would think at a party eventually someone would show their half of a brain and speak up, right? WRONG!
Regarding teachers in Wisconsin (what a racket), and Providence (really, ya used the "Webster's reference", guy?) and how I bet this guy can get you to see the light on the idea that while union's aren't all evil, here is one man's take on why absolute power corrupts absolutely. I had a similar idea and then I took a class in college that solidified it. Their time has come and gone, especially teachers unions. Please, I realize you may be a good/great teacher reading this, but again, your ilk isn't. How else do you explain kids graduating high school reading at barely a 5th grade level? More on this at another time, and where certain things can be traced to. I know teachers that bust their humps and pitch in extra time and their own money, and they get crapped on. It's not right. At all. But for every 1 of them there are 6 that feel entitled to not try because they have a Supreme Council that will save their ability to be lazy. That ain't right, either, now is it?
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Cleanup, aisle 20
Really, Harry Reid? Yup, prostitutes are the problem. Nothing like getting 650 people that like their job out of work and to the unemployment line.
I love me some Mark Cuban. Gotta like a guy that speaks common sense. NBA Commissioner David Stern, can ya hear me now?
Here's hoping the Governor of Wisconsin gives a certain group 'the Providence Treatment'. I heard about this on my way in and couldn't stop smiling. If you're a good to great teacher, you would never have to worry about this. Now, if you're a crappy teacher who bitches about your job on facebook, ya might have to look at a new vocation. So sad...Next!! And for those that read this, you may even know exactly which teacher I'm talking about. What would you do if you were a school administrator and saw a teachers rantings and ravings bitching about kids? Mind you, I'm of the opinion that people can say whatever they want, but that there are times when those words have consequences. But in certain cases, if you don't like your job, find something else to do that will earn you money. Otherwise, in the times we are currently living in, you may have to suck it up and bite your tongue.
Fun with facts at the White House...shocking, they still can't do math. Even with my glasses I'd call their way of calculating jobs and the stimulus just a wee bit, ahem, 'fuzzy'.
Stay Classy, Hacienda restaurants. Yeah, I could see how this billboard might offend, oh, I don't know, just about any human being with a brain.
Lest anyone think I'm not even attempting to improve myself (I know you're out there, lurking), I've started to look into this. Who knows, I might learn something, perish the thought!
Just curious, why is it that when a supposed 'conservative' wants to speak their mind they can get called racist, bigot, or my favorite, Hitler? But a guy gets voted into office, listens to the people and so-called liberals can leave the party? Oh, now I get it, it's okay to not read a bill but trust government officials to do the right thing, but you can't leave while the vote is taking place...how does this work again? Oh, and in case you're wondering what I'm rambling about, it's this-those 14 state senators from Wisconsin should be chucked into jail for dereliction of duty.
So my job, at the moment, is relatively easy. Put it more simply, of the 14 in my training class, you have 3 know-it-all's (from here on out to be labeled 'The Experts'), the 3 people freaking out (heretofore known as 'Calm the heck down already'), the 6 who will do just fine and are finding their roles ('These folks, they could be lifers') and the 2 unbelievably quick-witted and almost toocoolforschool (I am pointing at myself and acknowledging that I am, indeed, a world class smartass). It's not that I'm smarter than others in my group, I just caught on quicker, and that in turn allows me to do more in less time. I refuse to freak out about all these systems I'm supposed to know (no one learns 20 systems in a month, not even Stephen freakin' Hawking), and after the way my career/earning path has gone, there is no need for me to freak out or spaz like I may or may not have in the past. Face it, I, like many of my new teammates, are vastly overqualified for the money that this role is paying. As I've stated before, I have a woman with an MBA in Accounting & Finance near me. The job in and of itself is not difficult, but there will have to be a daily reminder that I am doing a marathoner's job, not a sprinter's. This role is a crapload of 'hurry up & wait', be it for processes and/or approvals to go thru. As long as I do my job correctly, there really isn't anything for me to stress out about. The people I'm working with are great, unbelievably nice, and I've yet to see any of them get too rattled or take themselves too seriously. This, let's face it, bodes well for me.
I tell you that backstory to tell you this-I have some free time. Enough free time to have figured out that I am 'tracked' on my webtime on IE, but not on Mozilla. Since I originally came from a company that used Mozilla email and I still use Mozilla, this is a no-brainer for me. I don't sit there and surf the 'web all day. I can't, I'm still learning stuff and trying to figure out what is going on with my accounts and various things that are vastly out of my control. But I do get to read the news, and that, dear readers, is why you are getting more links than you are probably used to. So there is your long-winded explanation.
Now you know...and knowing is half the battle. So during my reading this week, I was directed to this article from last Saturday's Wall Street Journal, entitled "Where Have the Good Men Gone?", and I had a very funny suspicion where it would lead. Read it here for yourself. It led me right where I thought it would. I was ready to tear it apart in a post, but someone else pretty much put the wrapping on it here, in the Oz Conservative blog. Now I have to admit, I was a little stunned when it dawned on me that this somehow may be the preamble for this woman's book, which in turn made me think that if she can get a book deal, then you're darn tootin' I'm getting my butt in gear and writing mine. I'll answer as succinctly as I possibly can-There are plenty of good men out there, but the female species lack of looking for them has made us tired. Not weak-willed, but merely tired. Ladies, if you want the guy that won't call you, the bad boy, etc. blahblahblah, that's on you. But don't think for a minute I nor my ilk don't see thru that ruse. The mere contention that post-college men are the only ones spending money trying to hold on to youth and the slacker mentality is bogus. There are plenty of women who have chosen to take their money and spend it on video games, too. It's not gender-specific. But there is one thing that's gender-specific, and that's child birth. Men can impregnate a women damn near whatever age. You ladies, well, you have a window. Some of you know it and don't care, some chose a different path, some of you didn't meet the right guy. Or maybe some of you had the right guy and were too blind to see it. How the hell should I know? But don't go blaming men for your inability to choose a proper mate. I know women that don't want a mate, and more power to 'em-because the ones that I know that have chosen that path don't complain about 'where all the good men have gone', they own their choice and are accountable to it. Surprise, surprise, it all comes back to accountability. I swear, I sound like a broken record to even myself.
And lest you think I'm some heartless douchebag, I still fervently believe in romance and the power of 'the woo'. Ladies, never underestimate the ability of man to do something incredibly brave/dumb/risky/ballsy/awesome to try and get your attention....I'm just sayin'.
Have a great weekend, I'm going to bed.
I just got to see a video of my GodDaughter-holy crap is that kid a cutie.
I love me some Mark Cuban. Gotta like a guy that speaks common sense. NBA Commissioner David Stern, can ya hear me now?
Here's hoping the Governor of Wisconsin gives a certain group 'the Providence Treatment'. I heard about this on my way in and couldn't stop smiling. If you're a good to great teacher, you would never have to worry about this. Now, if you're a crappy teacher who bitches about your job on facebook, ya might have to look at a new vocation. So sad...Next!! And for those that read this, you may even know exactly which teacher I'm talking about. What would you do if you were a school administrator and saw a teachers rantings and ravings bitching about kids? Mind you, I'm of the opinion that people can say whatever they want, but that there are times when those words have consequences. But in certain cases, if you don't like your job, find something else to do that will earn you money. Otherwise, in the times we are currently living in, you may have to suck it up and bite your tongue.
Fun with facts at the White House...shocking, they still can't do math. Even with my glasses I'd call their way of calculating jobs and the stimulus just a wee bit, ahem, 'fuzzy'.
Stay Classy, Hacienda restaurants. Yeah, I could see how this billboard might offend, oh, I don't know, just about any human being with a brain.
Lest anyone think I'm not even attempting to improve myself (I know you're out there, lurking), I've started to look into this. Who knows, I might learn something, perish the thought!
Just curious, why is it that when a supposed 'conservative' wants to speak their mind they can get called racist, bigot, or my favorite, Hitler? But a guy gets voted into office, listens to the people and so-called liberals can leave the party? Oh, now I get it, it's okay to not read a bill but trust government officials to do the right thing, but you can't leave while the vote is taking place...how does this work again? Oh, and in case you're wondering what I'm rambling about, it's this-those 14 state senators from Wisconsin should be chucked into jail for dereliction of duty.
So my job, at the moment, is relatively easy. Put it more simply, of the 14 in my training class, you have 3 know-it-all's (from here on out to be labeled 'The Experts'), the 3 people freaking out (heretofore known as 'Calm the heck down already'), the 6 who will do just fine and are finding their roles ('These folks, they could be lifers') and the 2 unbelievably quick-witted and almost toocoolforschool (I am pointing at myself and acknowledging that I am, indeed, a world class smartass). It's not that I'm smarter than others in my group, I just caught on quicker, and that in turn allows me to do more in less time. I refuse to freak out about all these systems I'm supposed to know (no one learns 20 systems in a month, not even Stephen freakin' Hawking), and after the way my career/earning path has gone, there is no need for me to freak out or spaz like I may or may not have in the past. Face it, I, like many of my new teammates, are vastly overqualified for the money that this role is paying. As I've stated before, I have a woman with an MBA in Accounting & Finance near me. The job in and of itself is not difficult, but there will have to be a daily reminder that I am doing a marathoner's job, not a sprinter's. This role is a crapload of 'hurry up & wait', be it for processes and/or approvals to go thru. As long as I do my job correctly, there really isn't anything for me to stress out about. The people I'm working with are great, unbelievably nice, and I've yet to see any of them get too rattled or take themselves too seriously. This, let's face it, bodes well for me.
I tell you that backstory to tell you this-I have some free time. Enough free time to have figured out that I am 'tracked' on my webtime on IE, but not on Mozilla. Since I originally came from a company that used Mozilla email and I still use Mozilla, this is a no-brainer for me. I don't sit there and surf the 'web all day. I can't, I'm still learning stuff and trying to figure out what is going on with my accounts and various things that are vastly out of my control. But I do get to read the news, and that, dear readers, is why you are getting more links than you are probably used to. So there is your long-winded explanation.
Now you know...and knowing is half the battle. So during my reading this week, I was directed to this article from last Saturday's Wall Street Journal, entitled "Where Have the Good Men Gone?", and I had a very funny suspicion where it would lead. Read it here for yourself. It led me right where I thought it would. I was ready to tear it apart in a post, but someone else pretty much put the wrapping on it here, in the Oz Conservative blog. Now I have to admit, I was a little stunned when it dawned on me that this somehow may be the preamble for this woman's book, which in turn made me think that if she can get a book deal, then you're darn tootin' I'm getting my butt in gear and writing mine. I'll answer as succinctly as I possibly can-There are plenty of good men out there, but the female species lack of looking for them has made us tired. Not weak-willed, but merely tired. Ladies, if you want the guy that won't call you, the bad boy, etc. blahblahblah, that's on you. But don't think for a minute I nor my ilk don't see thru that ruse. The mere contention that post-college men are the only ones spending money trying to hold on to youth and the slacker mentality is bogus. There are plenty of women who have chosen to take their money and spend it on video games, too. It's not gender-specific. But there is one thing that's gender-specific, and that's child birth. Men can impregnate a women damn near whatever age. You ladies, well, you have a window. Some of you know it and don't care, some chose a different path, some of you didn't meet the right guy. Or maybe some of you had the right guy and were too blind to see it. How the hell should I know? But don't go blaming men for your inability to choose a proper mate. I know women that don't want a mate, and more power to 'em-because the ones that I know that have chosen that path don't complain about 'where all the good men have gone', they own their choice and are accountable to it. Surprise, surprise, it all comes back to accountability. I swear, I sound like a broken record to even myself.
And lest you think I'm some heartless douchebag, I still fervently believe in romance and the power of 'the woo'. Ladies, never underestimate the ability of man to do something incredibly brave/dumb/risky/ballsy/awesome to try and get your attention....I'm just sayin'.
Have a great weekend, I'm going to bed.
I just got to see a video of my GodDaughter-holy crap is that kid a cutie.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
News you can use (maybe?)
Kenny Williams has it right....when he is a top 10 salary and still half of the Yankees, we have a problem in baseball.
I love this kids reaction to Michael Young potentially getting traded.
ask for my zipcode? why?
And some folks are just not happy with the Apple regime.
I love this kids reaction to Michael Young potentially getting traded.
ask for my zipcode? why?
And some folks are just not happy with the Apple regime.
Monday, February 21, 2011
the Monday night express lane
In the news today....
Dina Lohan talking about her daughter's addiction-here's a thought: maybe, just maybe, if you weren't a complete drunken lunatic your daughter wouldn't be a drunken, cocaine abusing ho, waddya think? I'm just going to put that out there...whackjob.
Yeah, something I can get behind regarding the Grammys. I was going to slam them earlier last week, but it slipped my mind (back off, I'm working now!). I watched very little of the awards show, but to see Jay-Z win nothing, the best new artist (whomever the heck she is), recognizing Barbara (hold on a second, I'm throwing up) Streisand and then Lady Antebellum for Record of the Year? I haven't been this aggravated since Eminem lost Album of the Year to Steely Dan.
Terrell Owens says something intelligent? And I agree with him? I musta hit my head on something this weekend, that can be the only possible explanation.
And finally, via con dios, Carmelo Anthony. May your douchebag ways and your ugly-ass woman keep you comfort in the mean streets of New York City. May your days be filled with bad service, undercooked food, and lost dry cleaning while your nights filled with statlines like 15 pt/4 reb/2 assist/5 turnovers, it couldn't happen to a more selfish guy. I never thought I could muster it, but you drawing out this inevitable trade almost makes me think LeBron isn't the biggest a-hole in the NBA. Ah, but I digress. I look forward to your next trip to Denver, where you learn a new version of the Mile High Salute and what it's like to have abandoned people who loved you for you. Welcome to pressure, where thy name is Madison Square Garden, and where when you screw up, the fine folks in the Northeast never forget. While I may thank you for the championship you helped Syracuse gain a few years ago, you will never be the cult hero that Gerry McNamara is, that I can assure you. You will never be Bernard King. You'll be lucky, in my eyes, to be Charles Smith. As it stands right now, your new team is a 6-seed for the playoffs, where you would have to face Chicago. I'm grinning right now, because the Bulls are the 2nd best defensive team in the league and have the leading MVP candidate in PG Derrick Rose. I've never been a Bulls fan, but if the standings hold up, I'll have to be for a few games. You wanted it, you got it. Best of luck in the bright lights-don't choke.
Dina Lohan talking about her daughter's addiction-here's a thought: maybe, just maybe, if you weren't a complete drunken lunatic your daughter wouldn't be a drunken, cocaine abusing ho, waddya think? I'm just going to put that out there...whackjob.
Yeah, something I can get behind regarding the Grammys. I was going to slam them earlier last week, but it slipped my mind (back off, I'm working now!). I watched very little of the awards show, but to see Jay-Z win nothing, the best new artist (whomever the heck she is), recognizing Barbara (hold on a second, I'm throwing up) Streisand and then Lady Antebellum for Record of the Year? I haven't been this aggravated since Eminem lost Album of the Year to Steely Dan.
Terrell Owens says something intelligent? And I agree with him? I musta hit my head on something this weekend, that can be the only possible explanation.
And finally, via con dios, Carmelo Anthony. May your douchebag ways and your ugly-ass woman keep you comfort in the mean streets of New York City. May your days be filled with bad service, undercooked food, and lost dry cleaning while your nights filled with statlines like 15 pt/4 reb/2 assist/5 turnovers, it couldn't happen to a more selfish guy. I never thought I could muster it, but you drawing out this inevitable trade almost makes me think LeBron isn't the biggest a-hole in the NBA. Ah, but I digress. I look forward to your next trip to Denver, where you learn a new version of the Mile High Salute and what it's like to have abandoned people who loved you for you. Welcome to pressure, where thy name is Madison Square Garden, and where when you screw up, the fine folks in the Northeast never forget. While I may thank you for the championship you helped Syracuse gain a few years ago, you will never be the cult hero that Gerry McNamara is, that I can assure you. You will never be Bernard King. You'll be lucky, in my eyes, to be Charles Smith. As it stands right now, your new team is a 6-seed for the playoffs, where you would have to face Chicago. I'm grinning right now, because the Bulls are the 2nd best defensive team in the league and have the leading MVP candidate in PG Derrick Rose. I've never been a Bulls fan, but if the standings hold up, I'll have to be for a few games. You wanted it, you got it. Best of luck in the bright lights-don't choke.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
double u oh double u
and that, dear readers, is the goofball way of spelling 'WOW'...
I went out today during the afternoon to get a late lunch, and from the moment I sat down to the other 4 customer service interactions, I gotta tell ya, either the world has gone to hell in a hand basket or I should have been looking for a job in the food service industry or retail long before I got my most recent job. I'd use the word abhorrent, but I don't want to 'class up' the treatment I received today. In more realistic terms, "friggin' awful" sounds a whole lot better....here we go:
The diner-I love diner food, and have been craving homefries for a couple of days. Well, not only is the craving over, but I have a place to cross off my list of places to go. The service was putrid. Everything else was very good, but the service, I felt like my table was a bother. The 2 people I were with wanted dessert, and after one of them asked for a box, the check was dropped...while the other was holding the dessert menu. This is Observation 101, is it not? I had to flag the guy down, and he said, "oh, did you want something else?" Clueless and classless. Yet another place not to go (and if you think I'm a dick for saying this stuff, my retort is 4 plus years of full weeks in a restaurant to put myself thru college-and no, it wasn't a college bar, so there goes that argument).
The shoe store-I have run down my kicks to the soles. There are holes. I'm proud of these sneakers because I've had them for quite awhile, during most of my job search. Walk into the shoe store and in 2 minutes get asked 5 times if I'm doing okay. Uh, wrong question, but I get the drill. Finally I have a question, I only wanted to know if they had my size in the back or if what you see is what you get. "I can call around or go online, once this damn phone stops ringing." I'm sorry, what does you doing your job with the phones have to do with me? I know, I'm nit-picking, but I think it's rude. It's not that I'm thankful to be working again, I'm more thankful to have a slight purpose and the bonus of I get to be a consumer again. As I'm making my purchase I'm asked if I'd like a bag. Yes, please. But I didn't get one. I got that whole askingaquestionwithoutlisteningtotheanswer thing...Lovely. At least she put my receipt in the box and pushed said box towards the edge of the counter.
The copy place-I admit, I have not been to a FedEx Kinko's in awhile (so long that it's now called FedEx Office). I walked in and was greeted politely, and then it went downhill, fast. Not sure what I did to make this lady behind the counter upset, but after she asked me what I needed, I told her I have a thumb drive and I need the PDF on it printed. I've done this for this document the last 3 years and it's cost me about $12, well worth the paper and ink. If I did it at home I'd run out of ink once for certain, maybe twice. Besides, I have a job again, I can drop that kind of massive coin, right? (That last sentence was, shhh, sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell) I'm told that she can do it for .12 a sheet or I can do it myself for .09 a sheet. No sweat. Did she point in a general direction? Yes. Did I know what I was looking for? Hell no (sigh). So after 20 seconds of me looking around a room like Rain Man, I saw it, and I liked the idea. A small box on a stand, maybe 5"x 5", with a place to plug in your thumb drive and a small screen...and of course, a place to put your credit card. I plug the thumb drive in, no sweat, and I'm off to the races. Until it comes to process my PDF. It hung for a good 4 minutes (while stating "please wait while we process your document, this may take a few moments considering your file size"-it's not everyday I get a compliment like that), and I wasn't mad, upset, or even annoyed, it's technology. The woman asked me if everything was okay, I told her I was waiting for the machine, it's thinking. Another 2 minutes went by and she said she could do it for me. Okay, I canceled my print job and brought the thumb drive over to her. Now while I can appreciate how busy she was, what price do you think she charged me? Yup, .12/page. I just gave her my 'Really?' smirk and off I went. She wasn't pleasant and she ripped me off. I could care less about the $2 or so she pilfered off of me, but the principle driven monkey in my brain is ticked. I figure I'm either repaying a debt to karma or I must have been a real asshole out last night.
My last item isn't a complaint on customer service, but more of an observation. I swear that 2 months ago while out of work I was noticing how nice I thought people were being to each other. Either that or I've romanticized it. Which is quite possibly true. Instead, I ran into the grocery store and out, 2 items, maybe 5 minutes. In that span of time I went from an old Nissan Sentra parked on my drivers side to an Avalanche being 9 inches from my door. And the way we were parked, whomever did it had to walk past my car and could have noticed it. Now, maybe, just maybe, this is a change that I need to adjust to, moving from the 'burbs to the city, but y'all don't want my city attitude. That can go from 'Hi how are you' to 'Go %$#& Ya'self' in a hurry.
I have to ask, did I miss something, or are we all back to being assholes amongst each other? Because if that's the case, I'm back to being nice to my friends, family and Ma Dukes. The rest of the world? Sorry, but that wall can go back up and I can avoid that at almost all costs.
What do you think?
I went out today during the afternoon to get a late lunch, and from the moment I sat down to the other 4 customer service interactions, I gotta tell ya, either the world has gone to hell in a hand basket or I should have been looking for a job in the food service industry or retail long before I got my most recent job. I'd use the word abhorrent, but I don't want to 'class up' the treatment I received today. In more realistic terms, "friggin' awful" sounds a whole lot better....here we go:
The diner-I love diner food, and have been craving homefries for a couple of days. Well, not only is the craving over, but I have a place to cross off my list of places to go. The service was putrid. Everything else was very good, but the service, I felt like my table was a bother. The 2 people I were with wanted dessert, and after one of them asked for a box, the check was dropped...while the other was holding the dessert menu. This is Observation 101, is it not? I had to flag the guy down, and he said, "oh, did you want something else?" Clueless and classless. Yet another place not to go (and if you think I'm a dick for saying this stuff, my retort is 4 plus years of full weeks in a restaurant to put myself thru college-and no, it wasn't a college bar, so there goes that argument).
The shoe store-I have run down my kicks to the soles. There are holes. I'm proud of these sneakers because I've had them for quite awhile, during most of my job search. Walk into the shoe store and in 2 minutes get asked 5 times if I'm doing okay. Uh, wrong question, but I get the drill. Finally I have a question, I only wanted to know if they had my size in the back or if what you see is what you get. "I can call around or go online, once this damn phone stops ringing." I'm sorry, what does you doing your job with the phones have to do with me? I know, I'm nit-picking, but I think it's rude. It's not that I'm thankful to be working again, I'm more thankful to have a slight purpose and the bonus of I get to be a consumer again. As I'm making my purchase I'm asked if I'd like a bag. Yes, please. But I didn't get one. I got that whole askingaquestionwithoutlisteningtotheanswer thing...Lovely. At least she put my receipt in the box and pushed said box towards the edge of the counter.
The copy place-I admit, I have not been to a FedEx Kinko's in awhile (so long that it's now called FedEx Office). I walked in and was greeted politely, and then it went downhill, fast. Not sure what I did to make this lady behind the counter upset, but after she asked me what I needed, I told her I have a thumb drive and I need the PDF on it printed. I've done this for this document the last 3 years and it's cost me about $12, well worth the paper and ink. If I did it at home I'd run out of ink once for certain, maybe twice. Besides, I have a job again, I can drop that kind of massive coin, right? (That last sentence was, shhh, sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell) I'm told that she can do it for .12 a sheet or I can do it myself for .09 a sheet. No sweat. Did she point in a general direction? Yes. Did I know what I was looking for? Hell no (sigh). So after 20 seconds of me looking around a room like Rain Man, I saw it, and I liked the idea. A small box on a stand, maybe 5"x 5", with a place to plug in your thumb drive and a small screen...and of course, a place to put your credit card. I plug the thumb drive in, no sweat, and I'm off to the races. Until it comes to process my PDF. It hung for a good 4 minutes (while stating "please wait while we process your document, this may take a few moments considering your file size"-it's not everyday I get a compliment like that), and I wasn't mad, upset, or even annoyed, it's technology. The woman asked me if everything was okay, I told her I was waiting for the machine, it's thinking. Another 2 minutes went by and she said she could do it for me. Okay, I canceled my print job and brought the thumb drive over to her. Now while I can appreciate how busy she was, what price do you think she charged me? Yup, .12/page. I just gave her my 'Really?' smirk and off I went. She wasn't pleasant and she ripped me off. I could care less about the $2 or so she pilfered off of me, but the principle driven monkey in my brain is ticked. I figure I'm either repaying a debt to karma or I must have been a real asshole out last night.
My last item isn't a complaint on customer service, but more of an observation. I swear that 2 months ago while out of work I was noticing how nice I thought people were being to each other. Either that or I've romanticized it. Which is quite possibly true. Instead, I ran into the grocery store and out, 2 items, maybe 5 minutes. In that span of time I went from an old Nissan Sentra parked on my drivers side to an Avalanche being 9 inches from my door. And the way we were parked, whomever did it had to walk past my car and could have noticed it. Now, maybe, just maybe, this is a change that I need to adjust to, moving from the 'burbs to the city, but y'all don't want my city attitude. That can go from 'Hi how are you' to 'Go %$#& Ya'self' in a hurry.
I have to ask, did I miss something, or are we all back to being assholes amongst each other? Because if that's the case, I'm back to being nice to my friends, family and Ma Dukes. The rest of the world? Sorry, but that wall can go back up and I can avoid that at almost all costs.
What do you think?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Cleanup, Sports Dept.-bring a mop
Swing hard, and thru the ball...
So Chara busts out the whoopin' stick for a 105.9 mph slap shot at the All-Star competition, and now there is allegedly a kid in Mother Russia that can smack the rubber disc to the tune of 110.3. Color me skeptical. Why? Hey, I remember Rocky IV, and those damn Russkies have been known to lie every once in awhile...I'm just sayin'.
Speaking of hockey, nice game 2 Friday nights ago between Pittsburgh and the NY Islanders, only set hockey back in the mind of morons oh, say, about 2 weeks. Rumor has it the Islanders were pissed that their 15 year 'blessed' Goalie got knocked the hell out after calling out Pens G Brent Johnson-with one punch. So the Isles called up a goon, who promptly got into a couple of fights. Of course, there was another player who sucker-punched (hey, that's a move perfected on Friday nights in downtown Boston, pal) a guy not exactly considered a fighter. Pens Owner Mario Lemieux, however, wasn't thrilled with the penalties handed down. Look, there is the school of thought that says fighting is a part of hockey. Alright, I'll go down that path. What happens when lines are crossed like they were in this game? Watching only highlights it appeared that the Islanders were in their locker room saying to each other "We came to drink beer and kick ass, and we're almost outta beer", how does that help progress the game?
Meanwhile, the Bruins own D Andrew Ference says there's a time and a place, answers a question about his teammate and gets called 'a cancer'. Lets ease up on that word, shall we? Cancer is a term used for the guys in sports who make a locker room beyond uncomfortable and add the fun element of selfishness. Think Terrell Owens. Think Chad Johnson/OchoCinco/Johnson. Think half of the Cincinnati Bengals. Think of some person you played sports with that just didn't make it fun to show up. That is a Cancer, not someone who calls it straight as they see it. And as much as I love Don Cherry and his, ahem, wardrobe, someone should tell that guy to can it every once in awhile. Same with Mike Milbury-if he told me that I wasn't what wasn't to be emulated, I'd be flattered. Hockey has just about, if not more, unwritten rules than baseball. When the hell will someone take the time to write them down, already??
I wish Peter Forsberg the best. I'll miss him, I understand why he had to try one more time. Even better, there were people walking around with all sorts of Avs and Sweden jerseys.
Quick hockey question, and this will be the last discussion on hockey for this blog-I swear. If Bruins C Marc Savard is truly done for his career, and Sidney Crosby has to sit out the rest of this season due to concussion related symptoms, what happens to Matt Cooke? I'm dead serious. I'm not saying Savard never had a concussion before Cooke cheap shotted his noggin'. I'm wondering out loud what moron/dope/league disciplinarian Colin Campbell does. Does his opinion change now that there's a Campbell on the B's? I'm askin', not judging. From a non-hockey playing guy, here's a solution-next cheap shot to someone's head, 25 game suspension. And enforce the damn thing. That'll wake up the masses, I assure. You think the guy that got 10 games for the Penguins who jumped the boards to protect his goalie gives a crap? Nope. Make it sting more than a band-aid getting ripped off, and things will change. I guess I have to throw this out there, too: since every pro sport is supposed to be some type of brotherhood, I want to know what freakin' family did some of these guys grow up in, where they're throwing soupbones trying to end a guy's career? I think of some of the hits I've seen, and the Scott Stevens/Eric Lindros hit comes to mind. That hit, to me, was more than legit, a body shot. Problem was Lindros had acquired so many concussions that the body jarring he took on that hit was the last time. Cooke's hit on Savard? I said it then and I'll say it again-cheap. Cheap like a hooker (so I'm told). Cheap like high school kid tipping on a date to Chili's. Cheap like Bradlees underwear. Cheap.
File this under "I love me some me". I really want to wish Carmelo Anthony a healthy journey to suckville, wherever that may be. I can't remember the last athlete that got my blood boiling like this clown. I've gone over it before, but his political aspirations must be off the charts. Dude can't answer a question straight, plays dumb (buddy, ya went to Syracuse for a year-even with osmosis you should've figured something out) and will never state what he wants. That's all Denver wants, as a city. If you don't want to be here, fine. Denver will survive without you. I hope he gets shipped to New Jersey, mostly because it's the best basketball deal for the Nuggets and the few people that show up all the time. Maybe once he's gone they can get rid of those GawdAwful powder blue uniforms (for the last time, powder blue only should go on the Toronto Blue Jays and the San Diego Chargers-don't ask me about the University of North Carolina-that is called 'Carolina Blue' for a reason, stay with me here) and then rebuild the team after the salary cap is cleared of the garbage and bad tattoos. Truth be told, I wish New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov would keep his earlier statement and tell this whiny, self-absorbed, no-rebounding, no-d-playing ballstaller to 'Перейти ебать себя'...That's right, people, I gots language skills!
Note to Albert Haynesworth-maybe you just stay in the house for the next few weeks and get those groceries delivered, have a chef come over and cook your meals, huh? Sound like a good idea? Sure beats getting charged with road rage one day and being accused of sexual abuse the next. Someone needs a new city (amongst other things, yikes).....
Sad story on William 'The Refrigerator' Perry on the 25th (damn!!!) anniversary of his moment of glory. I guess my take on this is the same as my take on a lot of other things-Everything in moderation.
I know everyone seems to be bagging on this kid for invoking his faith, or being home-schooled, or being lame, but how does this kid win this one? In case you missed it, a kid in Iowa defaulted on a match in the Iowa state wrestling tournament (note-wrestling in Iowa is akin to hockey in Minnesota, football in Texas and basketball in NYC-it's kind of a big deal) because he was scheduled to wrestle a girl. One school of thought is that the young guy was unbelievably noble/stupid. The other? And I heard this one, it's not mine-'wanna step on the mat, sweetie? Fine, I'm Clubber Lang-ing that ass'. Mind you, that's 2 Rocky references and I have no idea what "Clubber Lang-ing that ass" means, nor do I think I want to. First things first, Rick Reilly wrote an article on espn.com that questions what religion this kid is following. Dear Rick, shut your John Elway golf bag toting ass up (sorry, for those that don't know, Reilly out here in Denver is kinda known like Ahmad Rashad and Michael Jordan...allegedly). There is a giant difference between religion and faith. You as a writer should have the ability to know the difference. Second, I have played against girls in the past, and I couldn't win. I played basketball, in a mens league, against a girl/woman who definitely played D1 ball. I'm not saying she couldn't take the hits, bumps and bruises. I'm saying I wasn't comfortable playing defense against her like she was a dude. Now, in this kids case, he's supposed to take this girl down and potentially break an arm, leg, shoulder, etc.? What if he wrestled her and it happened? Would this girl then be on Good Morning America? Oprah? Would the kid be called an abuser because he beat this girl? If he were your kid, what would your advice be to him? Go out and win, but be gentle? I'm totally serious. I don't play fight with girls I'm dating because I'm a doofus and might actually hurt someone. More importantly, does anyone remember being 16??! Think back, do you want to wrestle a girl, on a mat? Yup, no chance for something to 'pop up' in this scenario. Nope, not at all. "Just watching a movie, sir. Move the blanket? Nah, I think I should just go home"...oops, I'm sharing some of my past.
I'm hungry, hope the rest of your weekend goes well!!
----------------
Now playing: Kanye West - All Of The Lights
via FoxyTunes
So Chara busts out the whoopin' stick for a 105.9 mph slap shot at the All-Star competition, and now there is allegedly a kid in Mother Russia that can smack the rubber disc to the tune of 110.3. Color me skeptical. Why? Hey, I remember Rocky IV, and those damn Russkies have been known to lie every once in awhile...I'm just sayin'.
Speaking of hockey, nice game 2 Friday nights ago between Pittsburgh and the NY Islanders, only set hockey back in the mind of morons oh, say, about 2 weeks. Rumor has it the Islanders were pissed that their 15 year 'blessed' Goalie got knocked the hell out after calling out Pens G Brent Johnson-with one punch. So the Isles called up a goon, who promptly got into a couple of fights. Of course, there was another player who sucker-punched (hey, that's a move perfected on Friday nights in downtown Boston, pal) a guy not exactly considered a fighter. Pens Owner Mario Lemieux, however, wasn't thrilled with the penalties handed down. Look, there is the school of thought that says fighting is a part of hockey. Alright, I'll go down that path. What happens when lines are crossed like they were in this game? Watching only highlights it appeared that the Islanders were in their locker room saying to each other "We came to drink beer and kick ass, and we're almost outta beer", how does that help progress the game?
Meanwhile, the Bruins own D Andrew Ference says there's a time and a place, answers a question about his teammate and gets called 'a cancer'. Lets ease up on that word, shall we? Cancer is a term used for the guys in sports who make a locker room beyond uncomfortable and add the fun element of selfishness. Think Terrell Owens. Think Chad Johnson/OchoCinco/Johnson. Think half of the Cincinnati Bengals. Think of some person you played sports with that just didn't make it fun to show up. That is a Cancer, not someone who calls it straight as they see it. And as much as I love Don Cherry and his, ahem, wardrobe, someone should tell that guy to can it every once in awhile. Same with Mike Milbury-if he told me that I wasn't what wasn't to be emulated, I'd be flattered. Hockey has just about, if not more, unwritten rules than baseball. When the hell will someone take the time to write them down, already??
I wish Peter Forsberg the best. I'll miss him, I understand why he had to try one more time. Even better, there were people walking around with all sorts of Avs and Sweden jerseys.
Quick hockey question, and this will be the last discussion on hockey for this blog-I swear. If Bruins C Marc Savard is truly done for his career, and Sidney Crosby has to sit out the rest of this season due to concussion related symptoms, what happens to Matt Cooke? I'm dead serious. I'm not saying Savard never had a concussion before Cooke cheap shotted his noggin'. I'm wondering out loud what moron/dope/league disciplinarian Colin Campbell does. Does his opinion change now that there's a Campbell on the B's? I'm askin', not judging. From a non-hockey playing guy, here's a solution-next cheap shot to someone's head, 25 game suspension. And enforce the damn thing. That'll wake up the masses, I assure. You think the guy that got 10 games for the Penguins who jumped the boards to protect his goalie gives a crap? Nope. Make it sting more than a band-aid getting ripped off, and things will change. I guess I have to throw this out there, too: since every pro sport is supposed to be some type of brotherhood, I want to know what freakin' family did some of these guys grow up in, where they're throwing soupbones trying to end a guy's career? I think of some of the hits I've seen, and the Scott Stevens/Eric Lindros hit comes to mind. That hit, to me, was more than legit, a body shot. Problem was Lindros had acquired so many concussions that the body jarring he took on that hit was the last time. Cooke's hit on Savard? I said it then and I'll say it again-cheap. Cheap like a hooker (so I'm told). Cheap like high school kid tipping on a date to Chili's. Cheap like Bradlees underwear. Cheap.
File this under "I love me some me". I really want to wish Carmelo Anthony a healthy journey to suckville, wherever that may be. I can't remember the last athlete that got my blood boiling like this clown. I've gone over it before, but his political aspirations must be off the charts. Dude can't answer a question straight, plays dumb (buddy, ya went to Syracuse for a year-even with osmosis you should've figured something out) and will never state what he wants. That's all Denver wants, as a city. If you don't want to be here, fine. Denver will survive without you. I hope he gets shipped to New Jersey, mostly because it's the best basketball deal for the Nuggets and the few people that show up all the time. Maybe once he's gone they can get rid of those GawdAwful powder blue uniforms (for the last time, powder blue only should go on the Toronto Blue Jays and the San Diego Chargers-don't ask me about the University of North Carolina-that is called 'Carolina Blue' for a reason, stay with me here) and then rebuild the team after the salary cap is cleared of the garbage and bad tattoos. Truth be told, I wish New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov would keep his earlier statement and tell this whiny, self-absorbed, no-rebounding, no-d-playing ballstaller to 'Перейти ебать себя'...That's right, people, I gots language skills!
Note to Albert Haynesworth-maybe you just stay in the house for the next few weeks and get those groceries delivered, have a chef come over and cook your meals, huh? Sound like a good idea? Sure beats getting charged with road rage one day and being accused of sexual abuse the next. Someone needs a new city (amongst other things, yikes).....
Sad story on William 'The Refrigerator' Perry on the 25th (damn!!!) anniversary of his moment of glory. I guess my take on this is the same as my take on a lot of other things-Everything in moderation.
I know everyone seems to be bagging on this kid for invoking his faith, or being home-schooled, or being lame, but how does this kid win this one? In case you missed it, a kid in Iowa defaulted on a match in the Iowa state wrestling tournament (note-wrestling in Iowa is akin to hockey in Minnesota, football in Texas and basketball in NYC-it's kind of a big deal) because he was scheduled to wrestle a girl. One school of thought is that the young guy was unbelievably noble/stupid. The other? And I heard this one, it's not mine-'wanna step on the mat, sweetie? Fine, I'm Clubber Lang-ing that ass'. Mind you, that's 2 Rocky references and I have no idea what "Clubber Lang-ing that ass" means, nor do I think I want to. First things first, Rick Reilly wrote an article on espn.com that questions what religion this kid is following. Dear Rick, shut your John Elway golf bag toting ass up (sorry, for those that don't know, Reilly out here in Denver is kinda known like Ahmad Rashad and Michael Jordan...allegedly). There is a giant difference between religion and faith. You as a writer should have the ability to know the difference. Second, I have played against girls in the past, and I couldn't win. I played basketball, in a mens league, against a girl/woman who definitely played D1 ball. I'm not saying she couldn't take the hits, bumps and bruises. I'm saying I wasn't comfortable playing defense against her like she was a dude. Now, in this kids case, he's supposed to take this girl down and potentially break an arm, leg, shoulder, etc.? What if he wrestled her and it happened? Would this girl then be on Good Morning America? Oprah? Would the kid be called an abuser because he beat this girl? If he were your kid, what would your advice be to him? Go out and win, but be gentle? I'm totally serious. I don't play fight with girls I'm dating because I'm a doofus and might actually hurt someone. More importantly, does anyone remember being 16??! Think back, do you want to wrestle a girl, on a mat? Yup, no chance for something to 'pop up' in this scenario. Nope, not at all. "Just watching a movie, sir. Move the blanket? Nah, I think I should just go home"...oops, I'm sharing some of my past.
I'm hungry, hope the rest of your weekend goes well!!
----------------
Now playing: Kanye West - All Of The Lights
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Nobody touch that box in the back of the closet
You heard me...don't even think of moving it.
Godfather x 2!
So this past Sunday my buddy who lives outside Toronto and I chatted. I've known him since the 5th grade (no need to put down the year, lets just say it has been awhile, and both of our foreheads have grown). And he asked if I'd do him the honor of being his 2nd daughter's Godfather. Do him the honor? Hardly. I'm the one that is honored. Victoria Elizabeth is almost 2 months old. That means, for those keeping score at home, is 1 boy in the US and a girl in Canada. That's right, fools, I'm international!! Totally going on the resume! And the best part-now that I'm employed, I was thinking that it would be awfully nice to get my passport, since I haven't had one since I was 12. Waddya know, my boy KP comes up and asks this question. Coincidence? I think not.
A minor relationship status review
This is for all the guys out there. Ladies, pass this along to your guy friends. I preface this with the idea that sometimes you're told things as a teenager that end up in a movie. In this case, I'm certain this advice was given to me by Pops, but also in the movie 'White Men Can't Jump'. The advice is this-"Listen to the Woman". 4 simple words. Why do I touch upon this? Easy. If your lady doesn't like surprises, maybe, just maybe, you don't give clues and try to propose to her (on Valentine's Day, no less-how cliche) over the radio. Click the link, allow for it to load up, and kill 15 minutes of your day and see if the IT guy in your office comes over to discuss bandwidth with you. I was listening at the very bitter hilarious end. Feel free to think whatever you want, I think the guy tried too hard to be his TV version of romantic. I feel bad for the guy, but pay attention and keep your head on a swivel, there, dummy.
One Teacher gets it
There is a teacher in SW Illinois who gets it, and when she calls out the little dweeb teenage douchebags she teaches, on her own blog, parents freak, and administrators overreact. Shocking. I love how this article claims the teacher used profanity....yeah, so? I want her blog address, I want to interview her for my new website launch, I want to link to it. Let's get this correct right off the bat-this is a 1st amendment issue, I guess. She can say whatever she wants. Is it a smart thing to do? Of course not. But I'm pretty certain it's legal and legit. More importantly, this notion that people want honest feedback is bullshit. You know it, I know it, and if the rest of the population would hop on board the Truth Train, we'd all be a lot better off.
To my friends that are teachers-I don't envy your job. I'd probably be fired on the 1st day after homeroom roll call was taken. Why? Well, if I had 1st graders, I'd tell Booger McDrippy Crotchscratcher to have his Mom/Dad/Nanny/Manny/'Uncle Steve'/Mom's 'friend' Nancy to either a)wipe your ass properly or better yet b)teach you to wipe your ass properly. Nobody thinks ass nuggets are sweet or special--everybody poos, ya don't see me walking around holding my morning deuce like a dope, now do you? To take this another step further (what the hell, I got enough fire in the belly) I teach seniors in high school. After I tell 'Trent' (or whatever GodAwful name some single-mom-stripper saddled their halfwit braindamaged ritolincomainduced 'special' emo punkband wannabe with) to yank up his pants, put away the hair 'product' (wretching my stomach-product-really?, we've come to that, grown men saying 'product', or worse, future men saying product. that's awful) and put the damn cell phone away, I may have to tell 'princess' Madison to put away the netbook, place the spackle, I mean makeup, back in that $300 dollar bag her divorced dad bought her over the weekend, pull up her shirt because, frankly, I'm seeing areola, and please for the love of all that is holy cross your damn legs because you smell like a damn Red Lobster. Yup, I'm an HR admins wet freakin' dream.
Back to this lady-someone out there tell me what she did wrong. Calling people on their shit is her job, especially since clearly these nitwitted kids parents won't do it. Meanwhile, profanity is the issue? Right. Since their parents for damn sure don't read anything other than facebook postings, I can guaran-damn-tee that these rolling resource vampires absorb nothing but MTV and softcore porn on Skinemax. Cut me a break, will ya.
....While others are still just as dumb as the dopes they teach
I implore you to click this link, and look at the picture of this warpig holding the sign. And there it is, she's 22. Some 'teachers' (I'm using the term loosely) decided to call a 'sickout', meaning parents had to use sick time or vacation pay, because the poor teachers may have to go back to the bargaining table and have to chip in on their own health care and retirement. Alright you teacher union dolts, you want to sit there and try and shove a giant heaping plateful of that term 'fairness' down kids Fritos-lined throats? No problem. Here's fair; 8-10% of you, tomorrow, get to hit the unemployment line. I'm not saying all teachers. Right now, I'm saying most teachers in Wisconsin, who pimped their own students (where the hell are child labor laws on this crap??) to hand out fliers. Matter of fact, I like the guy in the links suggestion-Ronnie Reagan those dumb bastards right the hell out of a job. I happen to have a friend that's got all sorts of teaching credentials that would love a job that pays $49K (or thereabouts-oh how I love Google). If you have no idea what I mean by Reagan and unions, you might want to do some research the early 80's and air traffic controllers. I hope the governor of Wisconsin does the same. These teachers don't care about the kids. Want to talk fair? Fine, ask every one of those kids if their folks are working, and if so, what have those parents had to sacrifice in the name of keeping their said companies afloat so they can keep a job? G'head, I double-dog dare ya. Selfish pricks.
Free Advice
This has to do with something I've seen, in person and on the TV, it's free advice to every Father out there (Moms, read this if you'd like, but your role as a parent is different. I didn't make the rules, it's hundreds of years of anthropology at work here), particularly fathers of boys. I will be doing you all the solid of printing something for you, and giving you a book (no, not mine. I hope to have most of my book finished by the end of this year). But the premise is this-you are NOT your child's friend. Re-read that last sentence, slowly. There is a damn epidemic of parents, particularly fathers, trying to be friends with their kids. I see it with certain moms and daughters, and it sickens me just as much. Your job is to be a parent, and if you're not up to the task, don't have kids. Your kids will have friends, be it from school, sports, extra-curricular activities, siblings or cousins (especially if they're Irish or Italian). You, dear gentle reader, ain't a friend. Your job, Dad's out there, is to put your foot squarely up the figurative ass of your son(s) and make sure they don't screw up and end in jail, or at a McJob, or not knowing what hard work is all about. This is almost pointed at someone in particular, but I see the seeds being planted all around me, and it makes for weak-willed men, and there is no amount of therapy, drugs, booze, porn or SportsCenter to make a man be a man. Either it gets instilled or it doesn't. Man, it's times like this I miss my Pops, but the lessons aren't too far gone, that's for sure. Disclaimer-this is not for all men. Some men suck as human beings and should be as far away from raising a child as possible. And for the single moms out there, I get it. But you're still not a father. The feminist movement lied to you, we're not equal. Doesn't mean you're not all the parent your kid needs, but you, as a person in the 'single parent' group, are the rare diamond in the proverbial rough. And I know I'm right, because I know you've seen other single parents and thought they sucked (go ahead and nod your head, I'll give you a moment).
Guess I should feel lucky
Lucky that someone thinks I'm talented enough to work. In case you haven't read it, or I haven't told you-I work with an extremely overtalented group. Not to the point that we as a group will be bored next week, maybe come August. But to read this Bloomberg article, it gets my blood up to a simmer. Is this what I was up against? Even though my resume was current? If so, someone's got some 'splainin' to do. Just a friendly reminder, keep your unemployed friends in mind-I still keep in contact with a couple of mine, have touched base with a couple of newly unemployed, and I try to keep their spirits up and give them places to go, different ideas. That, and I lend an ear. These folks just want to be heard and want to work, keep the lights on and the food on the table. I remember being told I'm overqualified for certain roles, but that's all that was available. I don't think it would feel too good to be told I shouldn't bother to apply because I'm unemployed. Just doesn't follow logic in my mind, either.
Sports tomorrow, I assure you, and I leave you with something new...
The BBQ Test
Y'all have heard of the Mom Test, the Door Test and the Clean Test, right? Well boys & girls, here is a new test for you. The BBQ test. What is it? Simple, it's really a test for people you meet at the office. The test is simply, would you invite this person to your house for a BBQ? Not out of obligation, or guilt, but because you want them there. Simple enough, right? Now let's just see how many in your circle would honestly pass this here BBQ Test. You might surprise yourself.
Happy Thursday, ya bums.
----------------
Now playing: Shinedown - Simple Man
via FoxyTunes
Godfather x 2!
So this past Sunday my buddy who lives outside Toronto and I chatted. I've known him since the 5th grade (no need to put down the year, lets just say it has been awhile, and both of our foreheads have grown). And he asked if I'd do him the honor of being his 2nd daughter's Godfather. Do him the honor? Hardly. I'm the one that is honored. Victoria Elizabeth is almost 2 months old. That means, for those keeping score at home, is 1 boy in the US and a girl in Canada. That's right, fools, I'm international!! Totally going on the resume! And the best part-now that I'm employed, I was thinking that it would be awfully nice to get my passport, since I haven't had one since I was 12. Waddya know, my boy KP comes up and asks this question. Coincidence? I think not.
A minor relationship status review
This is for all the guys out there. Ladies, pass this along to your guy friends. I preface this with the idea that sometimes you're told things as a teenager that end up in a movie. In this case, I'm certain this advice was given to me by Pops, but also in the movie 'White Men Can't Jump'. The advice is this-"Listen to the Woman". 4 simple words. Why do I touch upon this? Easy. If your lady doesn't like surprises, maybe, just maybe, you don't give clues and try to propose to her (on Valentine's Day, no less-how cliche) over the radio. Click the link, allow for it to load up, and kill 15 minutes of your day and see if the IT guy in your office comes over to discuss bandwidth with you. I was listening at the very bitter hilarious end. Feel free to think whatever you want, I think the guy tried too hard to be his TV version of romantic. I feel bad for the guy, but pay attention and keep your head on a swivel, there, dummy.
One Teacher gets it
There is a teacher in SW Illinois who gets it, and when she calls out the little dweeb teenage douchebags she teaches, on her own blog, parents freak, and administrators overreact. Shocking. I love how this article claims the teacher used profanity....yeah, so? I want her blog address, I want to interview her for my new website launch, I want to link to it. Let's get this correct right off the bat-this is a 1st amendment issue, I guess. She can say whatever she wants. Is it a smart thing to do? Of course not. But I'm pretty certain it's legal and legit. More importantly, this notion that people want honest feedback is bullshit. You know it, I know it, and if the rest of the population would hop on board the Truth Train, we'd all be a lot better off.
To my friends that are teachers-I don't envy your job. I'd probably be fired on the 1st day after homeroom roll call was taken. Why? Well, if I had 1st graders, I'd tell Booger McDrippy Crotchscratcher to have his Mom/Dad/Nanny/Manny/'Uncle Steve'/Mom's 'friend' Nancy to either a)wipe your ass properly or better yet b)teach you to wipe your ass properly. Nobody thinks ass nuggets are sweet or special--everybody poos, ya don't see me walking around holding my morning deuce like a dope, now do you? To take this another step further (what the hell, I got enough fire in the belly) I teach seniors in high school. After I tell 'Trent' (or whatever GodAwful name some single-mom-stripper saddled their halfwit braindamaged ritolincomainduced 'special' emo punkband wannabe with) to yank up his pants, put away the hair 'product' (wretching my stomach-product-really?, we've come to that, grown men saying 'product', or worse, future men saying product. that's awful) and put the damn cell phone away, I may have to tell 'princess' Madison to put away the netbook, place the spackle, I mean makeup, back in that $300 dollar bag her divorced dad bought her over the weekend, pull up her shirt because, frankly, I'm seeing areola, and please for the love of all that is holy cross your damn legs because you smell like a damn Red Lobster. Yup, I'm an HR admins wet freakin' dream.
Back to this lady-someone out there tell me what she did wrong. Calling people on their shit is her job, especially since clearly these nitwitted kids parents won't do it. Meanwhile, profanity is the issue? Right. Since their parents for damn sure don't read anything other than facebook postings, I can guaran-damn-tee that these rolling resource vampires absorb nothing but MTV and softcore porn on Skinemax. Cut me a break, will ya.
....While others are still just as dumb as the dopes they teach
I implore you to click this link, and look at the picture of this warpig holding the sign. And there it is, she's 22. Some 'teachers' (I'm using the term loosely) decided to call a 'sickout', meaning parents had to use sick time or vacation pay, because the poor teachers may have to go back to the bargaining table and have to chip in on their own health care and retirement. Alright you teacher union dolts, you want to sit there and try and shove a giant heaping plateful of that term 'fairness' down kids Fritos-lined throats? No problem. Here's fair; 8-10% of you, tomorrow, get to hit the unemployment line. I'm not saying all teachers. Right now, I'm saying most teachers in Wisconsin, who pimped their own students (where the hell are child labor laws on this crap??) to hand out fliers. Matter of fact, I like the guy in the links suggestion-Ronnie Reagan those dumb bastards right the hell out of a job. I happen to have a friend that's got all sorts of teaching credentials that would love a job that pays $49K (or thereabouts-oh how I love Google). If you have no idea what I mean by Reagan and unions, you might want to do some research the early 80's and air traffic controllers. I hope the governor of Wisconsin does the same. These teachers don't care about the kids. Want to talk fair? Fine, ask every one of those kids if their folks are working, and if so, what have those parents had to sacrifice in the name of keeping their said companies afloat so they can keep a job? G'head, I double-dog dare ya. Selfish pricks.
Free Advice
This has to do with something I've seen, in person and on the TV, it's free advice to every Father out there (Moms, read this if you'd like, but your role as a parent is different. I didn't make the rules, it's hundreds of years of anthropology at work here), particularly fathers of boys. I will be doing you all the solid of printing something for you, and giving you a book (no, not mine. I hope to have most of my book finished by the end of this year). But the premise is this-you are NOT your child's friend. Re-read that last sentence, slowly. There is a damn epidemic of parents, particularly fathers, trying to be friends with their kids. I see it with certain moms and daughters, and it sickens me just as much. Your job is to be a parent, and if you're not up to the task, don't have kids. Your kids will have friends, be it from school, sports, extra-curricular activities, siblings or cousins (especially if they're Irish or Italian). You, dear gentle reader, ain't a friend. Your job, Dad's out there, is to put your foot squarely up the figurative ass of your son(s) and make sure they don't screw up and end in jail, or at a McJob, or not knowing what hard work is all about. This is almost pointed at someone in particular, but I see the seeds being planted all around me, and it makes for weak-willed men, and there is no amount of therapy, drugs, booze, porn or SportsCenter to make a man be a man. Either it gets instilled or it doesn't. Man, it's times like this I miss my Pops, but the lessons aren't too far gone, that's for sure. Disclaimer-this is not for all men. Some men suck as human beings and should be as far away from raising a child as possible. And for the single moms out there, I get it. But you're still not a father. The feminist movement lied to you, we're not equal. Doesn't mean you're not all the parent your kid needs, but you, as a person in the 'single parent' group, are the rare diamond in the proverbial rough. And I know I'm right, because I know you've seen other single parents and thought they sucked (go ahead and nod your head, I'll give you a moment).
Guess I should feel lucky
Lucky that someone thinks I'm talented enough to work. In case you haven't read it, or I haven't told you-I work with an extremely overtalented group. Not to the point that we as a group will be bored next week, maybe come August. But to read this Bloomberg article, it gets my blood up to a simmer. Is this what I was up against? Even though my resume was current? If so, someone's got some 'splainin' to do. Just a friendly reminder, keep your unemployed friends in mind-I still keep in contact with a couple of mine, have touched base with a couple of newly unemployed, and I try to keep their spirits up and give them places to go, different ideas. That, and I lend an ear. These folks just want to be heard and want to work, keep the lights on and the food on the table. I remember being told I'm overqualified for certain roles, but that's all that was available. I don't think it would feel too good to be told I shouldn't bother to apply because I'm unemployed. Just doesn't follow logic in my mind, either.
Sports tomorrow, I assure you, and I leave you with something new...
The BBQ Test
Y'all have heard of the Mom Test, the Door Test and the Clean Test, right? Well boys & girls, here is a new test for you. The BBQ test. What is it? Simple, it's really a test for people you meet at the office. The test is simply, would you invite this person to your house for a BBQ? Not out of obligation, or guilt, but because you want them there. Simple enough, right? Now let's just see how many in your circle would honestly pass this here BBQ Test. You might surprise yourself.
Happy Thursday, ya bums.
----------------
Now playing: Shinedown - Simple Man
via FoxyTunes
Monday, February 14, 2011
Yup, I called it...
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so right about things, and yet here I am, writing to you fine folks...
Place your bets-the over/under for me getting my login at work is Wednesday. My boss thinks tomorrow, I scoff loudly...she loves the dry wit already. Speaking of work, I have no system, no login, and yet I have people asking me questions like I know what I'm doing. My lead? Yeah, no one is asking her a damn thing other than what time our lunch break is. Ouch.
It's odd and strikingly comforting who pops in and out of your life at different times.
Oh, and to those who think I'm a an asshole, I must've done something right somewhere along the line, as I've been asked to be a Godfather again. Of course I happily accepted. More on this tomorrow, I just wanted to update the masses (all 4 of ya).
Look, I know it's Valentine's Day, and if your single and upset about it, I'm truly sorry. If you're like me and single by choice, congrats. If you've met your mate, good for you. I already got my Valentine's Day present-Ma Dukes sent me a care package-chocolate chip banana bread, peanut butter cookies and 7 layer bars...told ya! Damn straight I'm spoiled-now quit hatin'.
Just wanted to preface the whole thing before I lay down the track I'm listening to as I type this. Relax, I don't feel this way, I just dig the song....
----------------
Now playing: Miguel - Girls Like You
via FoxyTunes
Place your bets-the over/under for me getting my login at work is Wednesday. My boss thinks tomorrow, I scoff loudly...she loves the dry wit already. Speaking of work, I have no system, no login, and yet I have people asking me questions like I know what I'm doing. My lead? Yeah, no one is asking her a damn thing other than what time our lunch break is. Ouch.
It's odd and strikingly comforting who pops in and out of your life at different times.
Oh, and to those who think I'm a an asshole, I must've done something right somewhere along the line, as I've been asked to be a Godfather again. Of course I happily accepted. More on this tomorrow, I just wanted to update the masses (all 4 of ya).
Look, I know it's Valentine's Day, and if your single and upset about it, I'm truly sorry. If you're like me and single by choice, congrats. If you've met your mate, good for you. I already got my Valentine's Day present-Ma Dukes sent me a care package-chocolate chip banana bread, peanut butter cookies and 7 layer bars...told ya! Damn straight I'm spoiled-now quit hatin'.
Just wanted to preface the whole thing before I lay down the track I'm listening to as I type this. Relax, I don't feel this way, I just dig the song....
----------------
Now playing: Miguel - Girls Like You
via FoxyTunes
Monday, February 7, 2011
Coming soon
Just a heads up, if all goes accordingly, I will have a website up at the end of this month, with 2-3 other commentators discussing all sorts of topics. I don't know how slick it's going to be, but I figure it will be far more colorful than this here blog, which I will probably still be writing.
Why the change/addition?
Why not? I've got some friends who can write, whom I love chatting with and coming up with goofy ideas. Now that I'm no longer in the Oscar Meyer Shire my creativity (re: biting commentary) is getting back to its full vigor, and I wanted to try something different. I've felt at times that this blog has been stale, mostly in the look (I hope not in my commentary) and since I will be finally earning a paycheck, I can afford to buy my own site and run a business how I see fit. I will explain another push for this at another time.
So for now, I'm willing to take suggestions for topics, or a weekly type column, name it, I'm open to ideas.
Why the change/addition?
Why not? I've got some friends who can write, whom I love chatting with and coming up with goofy ideas. Now that I'm no longer in the Oscar Meyer Shire my creativity (re: biting commentary) is getting back to its full vigor, and I wanted to try something different. I've felt at times that this blog has been stale, mostly in the look (I hope not in my commentary) and since I will be finally earning a paycheck, I can afford to buy my own site and run a business how I see fit. I will explain another push for this at another time.
So for now, I'm willing to take suggestions for topics, or a weekly type column, name it, I'm open to ideas.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Cleanup, aisle 19
Just time for some cleanup in the aisle along with my 'Big Game' pick (sorry, I don't advertise with the NFL so I can't use the moniker for said game...lame). On to the news, thoughts and all other acts of randomness...
The only thing better than being invited to watch hockey is when it's free. Hockey live is great, and because the music is usually from the 80's hair bands, can give you moments of reflections when you thought a woman named 'Cinnamon' really was interested in something other than the money you had on you...ah, youth.
Rogaine commercials are dumb. How the hell hair growth restores the confidence of a man I will never know. As soon as my hair started to leave my giant noggin I made the decision to shave it. Better to deal with reality than to lie to myself, let alone anyone else. If you have no confidence due to lack of things growing out of the hair follicles on the top of your head, you've got way bigger issues than confidence. Suck it up, own your weird shaped melon and be proud of who you are as a person. Oops, I forgot, most people are an inch deep and a mile wide. Allow me to share some knowledge that was passed on to me by my Pops-'If you're bored sitting alone, think of what others must think of you.' Truer words have not been spoken. Times like watching people be afraid of their own shadow make me miss that guy and thankful I had him around as long as I did. The rest of you? Quit being scared and take a risk, you'll live, I assure you. And if you think it won't work, call me and I'll give you a damn pep talk.
Being released back into the wild
This shit is beyond funny. I went out on Friday night after some posturing-I was exhausted from training (did I not mention I got a contract job? Oops, more on that later). But was prodded to go out, and go out I did. I met up with my boys Jas and L-Boogie (yes, damn near all my friends have nicknames), we used to run a limo company together. The 3 of us have not been together in about a year, and there were some things to celebrate, plus it had just been too damn long. The 3 of us together is nothing but playing off each other, as L-Boogie is also like Negrodamus (cuz he's smart and black), Jas is the Mathematical WizKid, and I'm just a Smartass. I capitalize all of those because those are the words most associated amongst each other. Depending on your definition of 'success', I may or may not have had a successful night. I know I had fun, and as per my usual, at a few others expense. I love being 35, no one looks at me like a threat....except those that know me. I had one woman hit on me and wanted me to go dancing with her and her friend (uh, thanks, but I'll pass, I'm out with my boys and I am not about to bust a move for some random bar trash, cute as she may have been). This woman also thought my 'Cancer Sucks' bracelet was a Yoga Instructor thing before she got to read it. Yup, because when you think of me, you think Yoga Instructor, right? Child, please. I was then approached by another woman whose 3rd question (after the pleasantries of where ya from/waddya do-that's right, not even my name!) was 'Does your dick still work?' Uh huh. My response was "Why, do ya wanna take a ride on the hobby horse?" while thinking that I'm pretty certain it works, but not on women this forward. Sorry, I'm a little old fashioned I suppose. This lady also told me that she moved in with 2 lesbians, with 3 dogs, 1 cat, 1 parakeet and 5 hens-not a cock amongst 'em. I am also fairly certain that both of those women are what is known in the game as a 'layup'. I was all about having fun with my buddies, and that's what the night was all about. We had a blast, laughed all night, and got to catch up. I couldn't have cared less about the female element into the evening. Yes, women were all gussied up, but I didn't care. I'm finally starting to get my own life back in order, feeling more like myself (a very bad sign for some) and apparently will be getting a paycheck next week...woohoo!
Best part about yesterday and the free hockey (other than seeing a hat trick)? I got another job lead. And now that I'm working, the theory is that it is supposed to be easier for me to find something more permanent.
As for the job stuff-here goes:
I took a job as a contractor doing billing and credit analysis for a large ISP company. The training is 2-3 weeks, I'm up at some ungodly hour and trying my damndest to adjust after 18 months without using an alarm clock. The commute isn't too bad, the people are super nice, there are a couple of dorks in the training class, but overall, this is an overqualified group. The woman sitting next to me has an MBA in Accounting & Finance and before this she was working the deli counter at a grocery store. That to me is wasted talent. Plus, she's Canadian, from Ontario somewhere, and I got another guy from Winnipeg-so we talk about hockey! And then there's this...
I am still up for a sales role in Denver, an account manager for a BI company in LA (as much as I would hate to move to Hollyweird, for this job in this company, game on), a vendor manager out in the 'burbs and some other various stuff. That's the highlight version.
Leave Charlie Sheen alone:
Here's why we shouldn't care-how many people do you think we come in contact with on a daily basis that are hooked on pain meds, booze or blow/meth/crank? I'll tell you-more than you would want to know. Charlie does it, strokes a check for $30K to a porn 'star', has a briefcase of the white horse delivered and people freak the hell out. Why? He showed up to work on time, didn't he? Now he's in rehab and telling this hobags the gravy train is over. I hope if that's what he wants that it is. But if it's not, good for him. This country and the morons in it need to stop telling others what to do with their success. I'd venture to say most of us won't have Sheen's success and for damn sure won't have his money, so how could any of us know what it's like? And in case you're curious, Charlie is just chasing the high of success. Some of us may have been taught to go for it, but we're rarely told what to do or how to act once we actually realize our own set goals for success...yeah, I'm deeper than an oil well.
Time to make a pick-
do you go with your heart or your head? My head says Pittsburgh, my heart says Green Bay. I'm going with my heart (like I'd do it any other way), I'm taking the Pack, 34-24, Greg Jennings has a huge day for MVP.
----------------
Now playing: Cee Lo Green - Bright Lights Bigger City (Produced By Ben H. Allen Co-Produced By Graham Marsh)
via FoxyTunes
The only thing better than being invited to watch hockey is when it's free. Hockey live is great, and because the music is usually from the 80's hair bands, can give you moments of reflections when you thought a woman named 'Cinnamon' really was interested in something other than the money you had on you...ah, youth.
Rogaine commercials are dumb. How the hell hair growth restores the confidence of a man I will never know. As soon as my hair started to leave my giant noggin I made the decision to shave it. Better to deal with reality than to lie to myself, let alone anyone else. If you have no confidence due to lack of things growing out of the hair follicles on the top of your head, you've got way bigger issues than confidence. Suck it up, own your weird shaped melon and be proud of who you are as a person. Oops, I forgot, most people are an inch deep and a mile wide. Allow me to share some knowledge that was passed on to me by my Pops-'If you're bored sitting alone, think of what others must think of you.' Truer words have not been spoken. Times like watching people be afraid of their own shadow make me miss that guy and thankful I had him around as long as I did. The rest of you? Quit being scared and take a risk, you'll live, I assure you. And if you think it won't work, call me and I'll give you a damn pep talk.
Being released back into the wild
This shit is beyond funny. I went out on Friday night after some posturing-I was exhausted from training (did I not mention I got a contract job? Oops, more on that later). But was prodded to go out, and go out I did. I met up with my boys Jas and L-Boogie (yes, damn near all my friends have nicknames), we used to run a limo company together. The 3 of us have not been together in about a year, and there were some things to celebrate, plus it had just been too damn long. The 3 of us together is nothing but playing off each other, as L-Boogie is also like Negrodamus (cuz he's smart and black), Jas is the Mathematical WizKid, and I'm just a Smartass. I capitalize all of those because those are the words most associated amongst each other. Depending on your definition of 'success', I may or may not have had a successful night. I know I had fun, and as per my usual, at a few others expense. I love being 35, no one looks at me like a threat....except those that know me. I had one woman hit on me and wanted me to go dancing with her and her friend (uh, thanks, but I'll pass, I'm out with my boys and I am not about to bust a move for some random bar trash, cute as she may have been). This woman also thought my 'Cancer Sucks' bracelet was a Yoga Instructor thing before she got to read it. Yup, because when you think of me, you think Yoga Instructor, right? Child, please. I was then approached by another woman whose 3rd question (after the pleasantries of where ya from/waddya do-that's right, not even my name!) was 'Does your dick still work?' Uh huh. My response was "Why, do ya wanna take a ride on the hobby horse?" while thinking that I'm pretty certain it works, but not on women this forward. Sorry, I'm a little old fashioned I suppose. This lady also told me that she moved in with 2 lesbians, with 3 dogs, 1 cat, 1 parakeet and 5 hens-not a cock amongst 'em. I am also fairly certain that both of those women are what is known in the game as a 'layup'. I was all about having fun with my buddies, and that's what the night was all about. We had a blast, laughed all night, and got to catch up. I couldn't have cared less about the female element into the evening. Yes, women were all gussied up, but I didn't care. I'm finally starting to get my own life back in order, feeling more like myself (a very bad sign for some) and apparently will be getting a paycheck next week...woohoo!
Best part about yesterday and the free hockey (other than seeing a hat trick)? I got another job lead. And now that I'm working, the theory is that it is supposed to be easier for me to find something more permanent.
As for the job stuff-here goes:
I took a job as a contractor doing billing and credit analysis for a large ISP company. The training is 2-3 weeks, I'm up at some ungodly hour and trying my damndest to adjust after 18 months without using an alarm clock. The commute isn't too bad, the people are super nice, there are a couple of dorks in the training class, but overall, this is an overqualified group. The woman sitting next to me has an MBA in Accounting & Finance and before this she was working the deli counter at a grocery store. That to me is wasted talent. Plus, she's Canadian, from Ontario somewhere, and I got another guy from Winnipeg-so we talk about hockey! And then there's this...
I am still up for a sales role in Denver, an account manager for a BI company in LA (as much as I would hate to move to Hollyweird, for this job in this company, game on), a vendor manager out in the 'burbs and some other various stuff. That's the highlight version.
Leave Charlie Sheen alone:
Here's why we shouldn't care-how many people do you think we come in contact with on a daily basis that are hooked on pain meds, booze or blow/meth/crank? I'll tell you-more than you would want to know. Charlie does it, strokes a check for $30K to a porn 'star', has a briefcase of the white horse delivered and people freak the hell out. Why? He showed up to work on time, didn't he? Now he's in rehab and telling this hobags the gravy train is over. I hope if that's what he wants that it is. But if it's not, good for him. This country and the morons in it need to stop telling others what to do with their success. I'd venture to say most of us won't have Sheen's success and for damn sure won't have his money, so how could any of us know what it's like? And in case you're curious, Charlie is just chasing the high of success. Some of us may have been taught to go for it, but we're rarely told what to do or how to act once we actually realize our own set goals for success...yeah, I'm deeper than an oil well.
Time to make a pick-
do you go with your heart or your head? My head says Pittsburgh, my heart says Green Bay. I'm going with my heart (like I'd do it any other way), I'm taking the Pack, 34-24, Greg Jennings has a huge day for MVP.
----------------
Now playing: Cee Lo Green - Bright Lights Bigger City (Produced By Ben H. Allen Co-Produced By Graham Marsh)
via FoxyTunes
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