File this one under "There is definitely such a thing as a guardian angel, fairy dust, saints, whatever you believe in"....
So the woman I went out with two weeks ago, well, I'll let you read it......
I had been seeing someone for about 4 weeks...not exclusively (because I wanted to take things slow, blah blah blah)...
He went out to dinner with my brother and his gf (they were in town from KC)...
anyway...went to his house after, had sex (I know TMI, but it is part of the story)...
sex has never been great with him, but I really liked him...so I was trying to keep an open mind...
so...after 3 Rio Margaritas, I had a meltdown, started crying (which I never do) and told him I just couldn't be with him
2 things jump out at me after reading this very unsolicited message (like I need to know this crap?); First, no kidding it wasn't exclusive, you went out with me, crazy woman. And two, I love how she blames it on the booze. Ah, plausible deniability, wow.
Lastly, and feel free to tell your male friends this one, it's the truth-sometimes not sleeping with someone is a fantastic idea. I think we can file this one under 'Ka-Razay". Damn!
Yup, chalk up my helping words one more time. I just helped someone else get a job. This is a little frustrating today, mostly because of the joy I had at the unemployment office this afternoon. So let's separate this out...
Unemployment office-Epic FAIL. Let's just say that for some reason unknown to me, I haven't received my full 'payment'. While this might not matter to most, I have bills to pay. So I went to the office this afternoon, and while the woman I spoke with was very nice and extremely apologetic, it still doesn't put money in my bank account. She couldn't figure it out, and I have to have a specialist call me next week. I'm not even that upset, as things happen, but I'd like some resolution other than shrugged shoulders-I couldn't get away with that crap when I was 10, and I immediately thought of that when she pulled that with me. No biggie, hopefully this gets sorted out in the next few days.
Now, I helped someone else get a job today, with a glowing reference. And if you ever need one, ask me, I'll do the same for you. You have to love it when the person on the other end of the line says, 'Anything else?'...because my reply was "Yes, hire him". And I kid you not, he called me 10 minutes later to tell me thanks, because they offered him the job. Done and Done.
Successful Friday, I guess. Onward and upward, I guess.
If I had a twitter account I would scream that my roommate is a douchebag. Why? Well, I spend far more time with his pet than he does, he doesn't have the common courtesy to send even a text message to ask if I will feed his dog, gives me shit when he rolls in at 10 PM and I haven't fed his dog, then swears like a sailor about how shitty life is.
I'm going to pray out loud: Lord, it's me, your bald buddy down here. I don't think I ask for much, but on top of looking over my friends and family, a job would be appreciated so that I can move away from this moron. Much Love.
Yup, this is my life right about now. This too shall pass.
Okay, so it's been a few days since I've really written anything other than the last two posts of hilarity (sorry, if you don't find the whole dating process hilarious, you'll do nothing but drown in pity and feelings of failure/stupidity). That being stated, please keep two things in mind; you don't have the right to not be offended, and dating is a process-and the process works. I firmly believe that if you are single you are single by choice, because you either want to be single or you're an idiot/ass/jerk/numbskull/etc. and haven't figured the whole thing out yet. I have friends who have chosen to be single. Most of what follows doesn't involve them. If they're happy, and I know that they are, then I'm happy for them. If you have a friend who's complaining and wondering why they are single, tell them to look inwards before blaming all those they've chosen to go out with.
As always, these are just my thoughts based on my life, no one else. Do with it what you will.
The Job Search So, how is the job search going? You must be kidding. I'll be kind, and say 'Not all that good'. I will also let you know that I'm laughing at this whole process. I was on the phone the other day and was asked if I had 3 years of healthcare experience. They called me! How hard is it to read my resume? Like I would hide that type of information. My favorite job posting so far is where a recruiter tracked me down, had me fill out a 20 question form, then tell me that the company she wants to present me to would love me, she's sure of it, but they just lost their HR person, so it could be a month before she hears anything. Fantastic. How is this NOT funny? Well, this is a little sobering. And I honestly thought about moving back to the northeast? Please, share that link with people you know complaining about their job right now. They ought to feel a little lucky that they can collect a paycheck. I've been out of work since August, and I'm bored. My job right now is job hunting. I'm a pro. I'm helping others find stuff, and stuff they even like. Speaking of which, I need to do more searching after I'm done typing this thing up.
My Brother So he called over the weekend, and for most of the conversation it was fine. He and I can talk about damn near anything, mostly sports, because it's light and nothing really has to be said. But when he started talking about our Mom it's when it dawned on me. The kid is just pig-headed. When he started talking about Mom the bile comes out, the venom. And I have no idea why. All she does is care and help him. But he doesn't like answering questions, because she worries. The guy is 28 and he's an expert at everything. He's closed off. I feel bad for him because he's going to wake up in like 20 years and wonder why he has no friends, why his family doesn't want him around, and he'll think the world is against him. He won't open his mind up to the idea or thought that he could learn more. I do envy his conviction, I'll say that much. I wish I was as sure of things as he is. But if it means I have to an ass to my Mom, I'll pass, thanks.
A few days belated to the bestest woman in my life, Happy Birthday, Ma Dukes. I can only hope I'm as kind to the world as you at the age of 59. You should all wish for a lady like this in your life who does nothing but love you and support every endeavor you come up with, mostly on a whim.
In Sports...... Brandon Marshall wants out of Denver. And apparently the sun rose from the east today, again, like every other day. I was driving from the grocery store on Monday and flipped by the Denver sports radio station (it's not nearly as douchey as Boston, but it still sucks) and they were talking about an article written by Denver Post's Mike Klis, here it is. Look, if the real reason he wants out of Denver is because he hasn't managed to deal with Darrent Williams death, then go into the front office and explain it that way. Don't act like a complete thug or an idiot, as he acted like a thug in the preseason and an idiot after complaining a week after breaking the record for being force fed the football in a game for a receiver. I'm not saying that B-Marsh shouldn't be shaken up by his friend and teammate dying. But maybe he ought to look inward and see what part he may have played in that incident. Maybe he should try and be accountable for his actions. It's what frustrated me about what was being said on the radio. The host was making excuses. Sorry, but death happens to someone everyday. We all deal with it differently, and yes, we're even allowed a few episodes. But Marshall is a pro football player, and I'm 99% certain that there is a psychologist on staff. I'm also pretty sure that when Darrent Williams was murdered there were people put in place to discuss certain issues with the players on the team. If my boy Kenny is reading this, remember when one of our best friend's father decided to commit suicide a couple of weeks before prom? Remember how he acted? He lashed out in his own way. I can't tell you that it's wrong, and I can't say what's right. I can say this, while my Pops wasn't murdered, I know things now I didn't know back then, but I had people around me who were kind enough to check in on me. Brandon has teammates and family that should be checking on him. If he wants out of Denver because of his own guilt, then the guy needs some form of therapy, and please, I hope he gets it. That kind of guilt can probably make a man, any man, do some damn stupid things. And there is nothing wrong with a change in scenery. It's been known to do people from all walks of life quite a bit of good.
LT2 so LaDanian Tomlinson gets released by the Chargers, then says he wants to go to a team that can win a championship. Uh, does he not know his track record in the playoffs? Or did he forget about pouting with the visor on back in Foxboro in the 08 AFC Championship game? Or the simple fact that there is no more tread on his tires as a RB, and his YPC (yards per carry) has gone down drastically in the last 2 seasons, culminating with 3.3 YPC this past season? Sorry, when it comes to running backs and linebackers, when it's over, it's over quick. There is not a whole lot of slowing down on your career, it just happens. It sucks, really. But 9 quality years in the NFL is about triple the average career, so walk away while you have your health and your dignity. I know why Jim Brown and Barry Sanders walked away when they did, on top. Is there anyway you'd rather go out? Would you rather people tell you that it's been fun, but we don't want you here anymore, or go out on your terms? Mind you, if LT2 wants to play a few more years, it's his choice, but I always thought it would be cool to play with only one team, in one city.
The 'Cuse Shut It Down! That is the team phrase this year, and my boys are 26-2. Two more weeks and it's conference tourney time, the week after that it's NCAA tourney time. You know, while I'm not so happy to be out of work, at least I can watch all the college hoops I want. I believe this is known as looking at the bright side.
spring training is here Pitchers and catchers have already reported. Now so is eveHope springs ryone else. That means baseball is around the corner. Ah, hot dogs, cold overpriced beer and fresh cut grass. Hope springs eternal, unless you're a Kansas City Royals fan.
Dating...I shaved my head for this????? Let me preface this whole thing with the fact that what some would call a 'date' last night was a travesty wrapped in a comedy, and be reminded of Katt Williams:
So if the line for you ladies is that you have to kiss a lot of frogs, what's the equivalent for guys? I'm not looking for Ms. Right, or even Ms. Right Now, but I am forcing myself to get out there. There is no point in staying home and wallowing in self-pity. That, and I'm certainly hoping to prove to myself that I'm not homely. I don't think I am, but I have my doubts. Some may call this sad, I call it my version of therapy. Lies, damn lies. "Holy Fuck" is what I thought when I saw this woman walking into the bar, and if you've known me long enough, you know I don't swear that much, and have never said that phrase out loud before in my life. It's the combination of holy shit and WTF that went thru my head. She was a very, very large person. You can think bad of me if you want, but when I say big, I mean big. I mean bigger than me. I mean almost 300 lbs big. So when we spoke the other night, I swear, she must have had some type of questionnaire, and it was rapid fire. I felt like I was being interviewed. And I think I was. I guess I passed. She asked if I wanted to meet up...uh, okay. So how big is too big? I'm dead serious. You see, to me it's a subjective answer. I know what type of women I like, what type I've dated, what size they've all been. I don't like skinny girls. Flat out, they aren't comfy to be around. They rarely eat. And I will not be near people that aren't willing to eat. Eating is going to probably happen if that whole dating thing continues with the same person, so I'm told. So what did I learn from this experience? Beware the photofib. What's that, you ask? Simple, watch out for cropped pictures or people who won't post a picture of what they really look like. I will explain this more in a second. Another thing that I learned is that some people are hung up on religion. I don't think I am one of those people. As a matter of fact, I hate discussing it when I first meet someone, in any realm, be it work, a date, a dinner party, at a bar. How do you bash 4 different religions and then say you aren't religious? Isn't that like me stating my disdain for the Yankees, Lakers, Canadiens (Montreal, I love the rest of you Mother Canuckers), Georgetown, all things LaDanian Tomlinson and then saying I don't like sports? And who talks about porn on the first date? Where am I, the AVN awards banquet? On my last date before this one, this woman came back from a trip to the bathroom to tell me that she "Didn't want to get married and can't have kids". What the hell? My response? "Well I guess that kills my plans for 8:30". What was I supposed to say, 'Gee, thanks nutjob'? Who says that? Yup, this is going to be one strange trip, but I assure you I will write all about each thing, because this is funny. Mostly because it's not happening to you, but still, it is happening.
So why do this and tell you about it? The ford focus story. One day I'll explain the whole thing, maybe even this weekend. But in a nutshell, we all want to be considered a little bit dangerous. Apparently you need to be the ungettable get. What a crock. What happens if you meet someone you actually like? Ah, the fun we all get to have.
This is going to be one strange ass trip. Face it, it would be easier to wonder about someone else from afar than to deal with this crap, but I guess I have to force myself to get out there. She ain't showing up at my doorstep. What else have I learned?-be a dick, it's a sad statement that it's working, even in the job search. I think that old adage may sadly be true, nice guys do finish last. That one hurts, because it shouldn't be that way. I've said it before, if y'all want that asshole to come out and play, he will. I unlocked the door for his cousin, the cocky bastard just last week. Unfortunately, it's been working. I hate being proven right about this stuff. Being a nice guy hasn't gotten the results that, in theory, one should get. Oh well. However, when it came to the girl last night, I was polite, I wasn't an asshole. Had she been mean or a diva, I don't think I would have been the same.
I don't know how you live your life, and I'm not judging you, I'm actually judging myself right here-could I have any more post-it notes, please?! I have more crappy little scribbles on my desk right now and have no clue what they mean or in what context they were written in. Brilliant. The constant procrastinator rides again. My excuse will be the last bit of this blog (I've had this stupid cold for a week, and I know it's almost gone, but tough to get rid of when you won't get to bed early. I'm a walking freakin' contradiction right now.)
Anywho, something has been kind of bugging me, now that pitchers and catchers have reported (hells yeah)....it's that Mark McGwire not only has a job, but he has a job that involved him cheating and lying about it...and not being very good at it. Mark McGwire, career .263 hitter, admitted (finally) that he took steriods, but they never helped him hit a baseball far. Uh, yeah, right. Keep believing the hype. Here's a couple of things to ponder. The first one is what if you're a better hitter than Big Mac? Yes, he hit a ton of home runs. But his On-Base % lifetime isn't anything to brag about, unless you're factoring in total bases and intentional walks. If you are current 1B Albert Pujols, are you listening to anything McGwire says in the batting cage? During spring training? Even if you're in an 0-15 slump? I wouldn't, not if I were that much better, and believe me, Pujols is. The other thing that I want to know is why he didn't have to work his way up. Most hitting coaches have to start off in the minor leagues and work their way up. Heck, it's how most of life is. The only way you get to be CEO of a company if you don't work your way up to it is to either be born into it or start the company yourself. If I go to a Rockies/Cardinals game, I'm not going to boo him, because he's already shown himself to be a joke. When he went on TV and told everyone that he was 'speaking from the heart', it totally negated it for me. It's like when people ask me if I'm passionate about things. I think I am, but I don't like stating it that way. I sound like a fraud, at least I do in my head. McGwire is going to be going to every city in the National League and he's going to be asked the same questions. I just wonder if anyone is going to ask him why he's more qualified to be a hitting coach over someone who has put in the time and the work. He sure hasn't. Taking pills and injecting yourself with artificial testosterone certainly doesn't sound like hard work. Yes, you need certain ability to hit a round ball with a round bat, but steriods and HGH will allow you to hit it farther and maybe even improve your fast-twitch muscle fibers to allow you to get to the ball slightly faster. What could have been an out on the warning track is now in the 2nd deck. If any of these guys had been honest, I might not be as hard on them. I'd admit it, especially when my helmet goes up in size and my numbers get better after I turn 30. It's just not likely in sports. It's rare, but still unlikely. More so in baseball, because we have so much data and video to figure statistics out. Baseball is the sport that uses stats to compare players era by era, decade by decade, etc. Could McGwire have hit back in the 1960's? I have no clue. But I do know that guys playing in the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and up to around 2005 were taking 'greenies', which are a type of amphetimines. Everyone is looking for an edge. We see it wherever we go. It freaks me out when I see 12 year olds getting red bulls or monster energy drinks. You're 12! But, when your athletic heroes are doing this stuff, what would you do?
Tiger Woods Okay, who stopped what they were doing to watch the robot show? I'm not working, and I didn't watch it live. What I saw was awful. He's had this much time and this is the best he could come up with? Does he have a PR coach? A speech coach? I thought I was listening to my car tell me the door is ajar. Jason Whitlock wants Tiger to go away. Jay Mariotti wants us to leave Tiger alone...I think Jay is an idiot, but it's just to see what other writers are putting out there. Jemele Hill wants to know where the Mrs. was, and that her absence says it all. Bill Simmons is the guy I will be agreeing with the most. Not all of it, though. First, though, some sidenotes. Ernie Els called out Woods for doing this on the Friday of a tournament sponsored by Accenture, the first company to drop Woods as a spokesman. Coincidence? Maybe. But in all this Tiger Woods epic saga of BS, if it smells like more manure, then I'm with Els on this one. Second, the Golf Writers Association of America blasted Woods for not taking any questions. This is standard operating procedure for an athlete in trouble nowadays. They hand pick the venue and/or the interviewer, so they know there will be no difficult questions. In Woods' case, he stated well before this pathetic attempt at an apology (I'll get to why in a second) that there would be no questions, that he would read a prepared statement and that's it. So, why is it pathetic? Simple, really. It's because it was full of crap. He apologized to his wife 3rd! Who did he apologize to first? His sponsors! Sorry buddy, but while I doubt the wife will be allowing you to play slap and tickle anytime soon, Nike ain't going to let you cozy up to it, either. I don't care how much wickaway fleece they make. If Tiger had said he screwed up, that he shouldn't be married, that he wants to be a good father and maybe someday be married again, fine. But this was too awful of a showing. Leave him alone? No problem in my world I think golf sucks. And I know, I know, he's not the only athlete to cheat on his wife. That doesn't make it okay. Sorry, I know I'm a simple unemployed man, but I've never cheated. Hell, I don't even know if I can date more than 2 women at the same time. I've been cheated on. It's disgusting. More importantly...have you seen the porn stars' press conference? The porn star is one of the many women Tiger nailed (sorry, she's a porn star, I'm thinking they didn't make love, okay?) and one of her many claims is that she was pregnant twice with Tiger's seed. Excuse me, if you're a porn star, isn't one of the main goals of your, ahem, job to NOT GET PREGNANT? I know there wasn't a ton of press on this thing, because really, after you see this woman in her wig, why take her seriously? I'm not stating that she might be telling the truth, but come on already. I think Tiger might want to go away for a long while. Maybe Whitlock is right. But I'm with Simmons, especially on the title of his article, Tiger is still playing by his own rules. And Tiger has screwed it up for the real Playahs of the world. I'm not one of them, so I'm fine. I can't imagine trying to keep all this crap together, and there are at least 10 mistresses that we know about. I knew a girl once who wouldn't sleep with a friend of mine (a complete manwhore), and she told me one night why she would never sleep with him-he had a 'dirty dick'. Now, while that is hilarious, isn't it possible that Elin is thinking the same thing about her husband right about now? Wouldn't you? Would you even be with him still? Any woman that ever cheats on me is gone, there is no 'we can work it out' phase, only the 'get out' phase.
lazy cold day...with a cold. Yup, that's why I'm writing this at 10 on a Friday night. I had to shut it down. Last weekend wasn't even that crazy, I was just out way past bedtime for someone who is sick. Hopefully this whole thing will be gone completely by Monday and I can hit that job search all over again.
I hate having a cold! It's strictly in my head (no jokes, please-it's too easy), and now I'm coughing up a storm. Thank goodness for Ricola.
Alright, I said I'd bag on the Colts, so here goes.... I realize I'm completely biased as I type this, but I'm going to try to take a different angle on this thing. No clue what I'm talking about? Read this little blurb about both the league MVP Peyton Manning and team president Bill Polian throwing some members of the team under the bus. What is one of the things we learn in Pop Warner, Little League, Mites, Cadets, Biddy and CYO leagues-that you don't throw your teammates under the bus, right? That you win as a team and lose as a team, right? Well if I were an Offensive Lineman on the Colts, I'd be keeping tabs on what an ass my QB was being right now. "Problems with protection"? Way to stay classy, both to Polian and Manning. I'm not saying that there may or may not have been issues with protection, but if I wanted to make sure those guys kept blocking for me, I wouldn't call them out in the media. Check the all time greats-Montana, Elway, Marino, Aikman, Young, Brady or even Favre, I've never heard them call out their line via the media. Maybe it happens in the training room, or during film study, but I've never heard any of them do that. It's what separates team from individual. It's why I didn't believe Polian when he told the media that the reason he didn't believe in going for 16-0 in the regular season was that he didn't care about records, yet on the last game of the regular season the Colts made sure Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark stayed in the game long enough to both get 100 catches a piece. No one cares about individual goals when the only thing that matters is the 'ship. No one does anything in their life to be second place. We all do our jobs (well, I would if I had one) to be the best at what we do. I'm still a firm believer that the number on the front of the jersey means more than the one on the back. Why else is there such a thing as 'work ethic'? You've seen the slackers at your job, and it probably infuriates you. I know it did to me. It's why I despise the Colts. Manning is a great communicator and leader when they are winning. But when they lose? Nope, the O-Line had 'issues'. Bull. If I'm the Center and two Guards, first play of preseason I let him get blasted to send a message. I did that crap in junior high, just to let that QB know that we on the line run things. I don't care how good a QB is, if he doesn't have time to read the coverage he's on his ass. Tough to complete passes and earn the big money on your back. No one on the line threw that pick6 to sew up the SB for New Orleans. And don't go telling me that Reggie Wayne ran a crappy route, as Manning was almost picked off a few plays earlier in that same series. And this is why I will never root for Manning. Ever. He's a crappy teammate. You win as a team and lose as a team. Want more proof? Fine, ever see a goalie give up 5 goals and know that he should have won the game? Not sure what I mean? Look, if your D keeps giving up the puck in your zone, as a goalie you're up against it. If that happens 3 times in a 5 goal game, you've let momentum change and put your goalie at a disadvantage. Don't just read a box score. Every sporting event has an ebb and flow to it. The only sports where you can really blame one person is golf and tennis, usually because there is only one person....and a golfer plays the course, not other golfers. Unless Tiger Woods is in the field and you think he's checking out your wife/daughter/Mom/nanny/cousin, etc. Otherwise, pay attention!
Anyone watching the NBA All-Star game tonight? Me, neither. I'd rather watch the Olympics, who thanks to Friday afternoon's tragedy, now have the same curiosity as NASCAR. Way to put a barrier up on that luge track after someone dies and other racers told you someone could perish, numbnuts. I don't want anyone to die, especially like what happened the other day. Oh, and mad props to NBC for showing it on a national newscast. Apparently you have no shame nor respect for human life. We all could have done without seeing that. My heart goes out to the luger's teammates and family.
I've got some other questions that have been rolling around in my head lately. It's the joy of NyQuil and being home a lot reading. I understand if you hate certain people, be they entertainers, athletes, or even politicians. Let me preface this whole thing with the following statement-George W. Bush may have had an 'R-' in front of his name, but he's no real Republican. Much like you can't call Arlen Specter a real Democrat. Cool? So I watch and read news a ton, and I'd like to know this-when does the economy become Obama's deal, like 2011? Why is it W's fault? Hear me out-I'm not saying everything was peachy when BO took office. Facts are facts, it wasn't. But here's a little reminder for you-W. didn't walk into a booming economy, we were in the beginning of a dip. Add to that the fact that less than 8 full months into his presidency that 9/11 happened, and isn't it fair to state that there isn't a President that has come into office with a clean slate? And why now do I have to hear VP Joe Biden want to credit BO with success in the war, when both he and the President were against it when it started? These are all rhetorical questions. I'm just tired of people not admitting that they are biased or slanted. We all are. I am, and so are you. And there's nothing wrong with it. But I can admit to what color my glasses are viewing the world. Here's an article for you to check out (if you want), with some hypocrisy shining thru. Something else that has been gnawing at me, and it's from both sides, this obsession with religion. This goes for the zealots and the shouters, why? I don't want you knocking on my door any more than I want to hear someone get bashed because they believe in God. Isn't this world big enough to live and let live? Another thing I'm seeing, and I don't like one bit, is the way advertisements are getting slanted. Someone needs to walk into an advertising company and wash these clowns mouths out with soap. That's right, I'm going old school. First, it was ads and tv shows showing us over and over again that men and fathers are idiots. More recently I have to watch two little punks mock Mom's meatloaf (disclaimer-I love meatloaf, especially wrapped in bacon). Hey you little twerps, be thankful your mother cares enough to put a hot meal in front of you as opposed to pointing to a box of generic cocoa air-puffs and 4 day expired milk. Now I get to watch things where both parents are stupid, and ads telling kids that they have to explain it to their parents. Look, I'm not saying I don't have to explain how a spreadsheet works to my Mom, but she's not an idiot. I know single Moms and single Dads and kids with stepparents all over the place, but I can't fathom any of my friends being demeaned by their own kids. At least not without serious repercussions. I know teenagers roll their eyes, it's what they do. But not for nothing, who's the one paying the damn bills here? Parents or kids? While kids may be precious, I think it's about high time we start prioritizing some stuff out there. I don't even have kids but I'm offended for my friends that do have them. And I don't want to be anywhere near a situation where a child feels like breaking something down for their parent like the parent is simple. I think it's crap, and I'll be voting with my wallet on these products and shows, no matter how minimal my funding is at the moment.
On a much brighter note, thanks to this cold, I'm sleeping a whole lot more. And do yourself and everyone else a favor, next time you hear someone complain about their job, tell them they should kind of thank their lucky stars that they have income. There are others like me out there dealing with a whole lot of things that we never thought we would have to confront, and feeling like a mooch is never a good feeling. I have great friends, so I'm lucky that I don't stay in that mood for long. Others may not be as fortunate. Feel free to buy your friend a smoothie or a cup of coffee. Or, you could do worse than a text message checking. It is the little things that can brighten up someone's day.
Happy Hallmark Roses are a Ripoff day! I meant Valentine's Day. Anyone want to be mine? Kidding, I'm good.
Just a few topics and updates for the masses (all 3 of ya):
The Massachusetts special election for Senator I told you it was coming. And I don't think it's just Democrats that are on their way out, either. I think some folks with 'R-' in front of their name are going to be bounced come this November as well. Interesting article by Michael Barone that breaks down the demographics on how Massachusetts voted. For me, the reason some of these men and women will be bounced faster than a brand new superball is because they keep doing the same thing, and I'm not talking about policies and backdoor deals-they keep talking in legalese. I've got a newsflash for those thinking of running for office going forward-stop talking to the majority of people like they're morons. I'm not saying that there aren't idiots all over. Lord knows I'm a huge believer in the phrase 'There are more of them than there are of us.' However, their vote counts just as much as mine does, maybe even more. And while I may be college educated, I have no desire for a law degree. I gave that crap up after my sophomore year of college. Remember, I went to school 15 minutes outside of Boston, which means BU, BC, Harvard, Tufts and Suffolk were around me. And I served some of those people as a bartender....let's just say that some of them are trashier than the folks you see at Walmart. Just because you have an Ivy League education doesn't make you more of a person than me. I had a regular who was a joke of a human being, sleeping with his best friends fiancee. Classy. No better than any other dirtbag I grew up around.
My Brother The situation back home has not improved, nor do I expect it to. I firmly believe that any person that speaks to his or her own mother in this way/tone is a coward. I especially think that any man that speaks to a woman this way is the lowest form of bully. I have honestly no idea what to do. But, I will state the following-I either want to kick his ass, have him chucked into detox, or my other idea...find out what the hell his problem is. I asked a good friend what they would do, after I asked other friends what they'd do (we all agreed-kick his ass), and she mentioned detox. And it got me thinking. Something is clearly bugging this kid. And I'd be willing to bet that it has nothing to do with my Mom. I'm not excusing the behavior by any means. I just want to figure out what is eating at the guy. That's all. I'm in the process (in my head) of writing him an email explaining why this behavior is unacceptable. I may even share it with you folks. Look, you want to cuss out a stranger, that's not really my problem. You cuss out my Mom, now it's my problem. There is more than one way to handle this. Right now he has no repercussions for his actions, mostly because I am across the country. This crap would not be going on if I were in front of him. He may be 3 inches taller than me, but I've got him by at least 90 lbs and a whole lot bigger temper. I don't want to have to kick the snot out of him, but if it has to come down to it, so be it. I will keep everyone posted.
Good news Why? Well, I don't want everyone thinking that the only reason I write this blog is to deliver bad news....that's way too close to the real news. How about something uplifting, right? So here's the good news. I've got a few companies sniffing hard around me. Not great roles, but both companies are currently small with plans on expansion and I would have no problem being on the beginning of the curve. I kinda like it that way. Other good news-my unemployment got renewed. No, not emergency funding. I got to file a new claim, and it resets everything to zero. I will also be making enough money to cover my bills, so maybe now I can get a full 6 hours of sleep at night, as this part of the stress in my life should be coming down to a simmer instead of a rolling boil.
Now, about The Girl That's right I capitalized it, get over yourselves. So much to say, so many jumbled things in my head. First, I'm a little slow on the uptake. She was never mean to me. And if she was, it was never malicious nor intentional. Second, what do I do with the playlist I was putting together for her? Third, she will always be in my heart. Fourth, and the kicker of the whole thing, is the following... I've had some time to reflect and think about things, to try to take 4 steps in her shoes. Face facts, it's stupid to think about moving across the country for a chance to date someone. You know it, I know it. If I were talking to me I'd have smacked me over a year ago. The other side to that smacking coin is that I'm hopeful/stupid enough to even consider it. So I know I'm not dead inside. So I've got that, for whatever it's worth. You may hate her for not answering certain questions, or only speaking on the 'need to know' basis, but take a step in her shoes-would you be freaked out/flattered by someone across the country making such an advance? I admit it, when I thought of that I shot back in my chair and thought 'Whoa'. That's kind of heavy. I wouldn't want that kind of pressure on me. She's got her own things going on, too. I might not exactly fit into those plans. By not taking that on and telling me she'd pass, I think it's kind of noble in a weird way. She chose to make a logical decision about something that is completely illogical. No clue what I'm saying? Really, by now? Fine, I'll admit it;I was in L---with her. I had my hopes about her, I wanted to hang out and laugh with her. I wanted to fight and make up with her. I wanted witty drunken 2 AM conversations about why 'The Hangover' is going to kill the bachelor party business for the next 10 years. I desperately wanted to kiss her. I wanted to wake up next to her and make breakfast (yes, I can cook, not just hit buttons on a microwave). But alas, it wasn't meant to be. I couldn't have made that decision with my head. I lead with my heart when it comes to matters of the heart. I am passionate about my friends, my family, my teams (but not too much-not until I become GM). When it comes to business and finances, that is strictly a brain thing. Sometimes when you lead with your heart you get knocked the hell out, and it hurts like hell. But you know what else happens? You get up. You regroup. You take stock of what you did. I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever. I don't look at the last however many months as a gigantic waste of time, as some of my friends will tell my other friends, but never to my face. I take that back. One friend, John, told me to take care of myself. But he knew, too, I couldn't stop. I knew I was in trouble the moment I met her. I won't stop being her friend. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I'm not bitter about anything. Honestly, I think this is the healthiest I've been about this crap (matters of the heart) in a lo-hong time. But I won't ask the question ever again. I will root for her from across the country. If a business opportunity comes up that is in the area, I will weigh that business opportunity and only that in my decision. No need to cloud my judgement. Besides, I'm not smart enough to handle that giant ball of stuff. I won't even consider my family in these decisions any more. I have to do what's best for me, because that will in turn be what is best for them. Face it, she will always be in my heart. There are pieces of her that I will judge others against. I kind of feel sorry for them. I wish I could have an answer for why I was attracted to her in the first place. I blame books, seriously. Instead of being a guy and looking at the important physical features, I looked at her heart first, at least I think I did. I met her right after I was finished reading a book that I'm going to make required reading for all my friends moving forward. The book and the ideas behind it were a reminder of what I used to do, what I wanted to be-as a man, as an earner (I didn't take much of that part to heart until later), as a lover, as a friend, and part of a family. So I chose to treat her like I thought she ought to be treated. I'm sure she sometimes wishes she were treated like a friend, but I'm pretty sure she'd rather have the pedestal she's on in comparison. I should tell her that the thing I wrote to her last year, well, I read it to 3 other women I know. Their reactions were, and I quote, 'Damn', 'Shit you're in trouble', and my favorite, from my career coach, 'I hate you now.' Why did she hate me? That woman told me in 60 years no one has ever written or even spoken to her like that, and she's been married and has two grown men for children. I should've worked for Hallmark. I'm kidding. I can only write what I feel for certain people, ideals, etc. If I say nothing to you, face it, I no longer care. So, to my friends that read this, don't think ill or evil on/of her. She did nothing wrong but to be honest. It's her version of honest, much like we all have our own version of honesty. I'm not knocking it, I'm acknowledging it. I'm (on my ego-boost right here) sure it wasn't easy. How do you turn all this handsomeness away (Ego-boost over). I'm not that big of a deal. She's a great gal, some guy is sure going to be lucky if she ever lets those walls down. I can't wish her anything other but health and happiness. And that's that. You want to know something, feel free to ask, I've got nothing to hide.
Whoda thunk it, me, not being bitter about something....what a crazy freaking world, huh?
Oh, tomorrow I'm ripping the Colts. Provided I don't go into a NyQuil induced coma...I hate cold and flu season!! Hey, at least with the 'sauce' I may sleep thru the night.
And no matter what any of you think of my writing/speaking/ranting/raving, know this-my Mom thinks I'm cute, so there. Happy Thursday night.
Okie Dokie...I've stated that I'll do more writing, and wouldn't you know it, I get writers block. Or, more likely, just down in the dumps. Why? Oh come on now. You don't have to be board certified to figure it out. But this is not a 'whoa is me' type entry. There are good things happening out there, my life is not like quicksand. Some things suck, and some things are great. And most of all, things are pretty much out of my control. So all I can do is plug along, hope and pray for the best, and let the chips fall where they may. (Apparently Thursday is Cliche Day)
Roommate Update Honestly, I barely speak to the guy. It's just depressing or enraging. I've never met someone who is a grown child before, and blames his ills on all those around him without ever looking in the mirror. I'm well aware of why I do certain things and why I procrastinate on other things. I hate doing certain things, like ironing, for example. Add to that fact that I have nowhere to go, what's the point in ironing shirts? That's one strain of logic for you, right? However, it's backwards. Maybe if I iron said shirts I'll change my disposition and get some hope....it's a possibility. As for said roommate, he's full of crap. He states he'll quit drinking, but apparently only vodka...yet it's 4-8 beers a night. Uh, last I checked, same amount of alcohol in a 12 oz beer and a shot of booze, that's bartender 101 right there. He states he'll quit smoking dope, too. Yeah, right. A leopard doesn't change his spots. There are two things to consider when I decide to be selfish-1)I grew up with an alcoholic, and have no desire to repeat that existence. And 2)I'm sure some are reading this right now wondering why I still live here in this guys house. The answer is simple-I've got no where else to go. I don't have any income, and this is still better than sleeping in my car.
My Brother Sometimes there is a good reason I don't live back east. My brother's ability to breathe is on the top of that list right about now. Look, I'm a Momma's Boy, and admit it proudly. I talk to my Mom every Sunday. Pretty much have since I moved out here oh so long ago. So when I talk to her and it gets relayed to me that he's turning into my Pops, it makes my blood boil. When I get told that he calls her names, mean and nasty things, I get downright pissed. Only I don't have the funding right now to get on a plane or gas up my car and go across the country and confront him. Let me be clear-I was back there 4 times last year and none of this went on in front of me. Why? Because he's a coward and would never think of going toe-to-toe with big brother. And let me be clear, I am bigger. He's taller, I'm much bigger than he. And a whole bunch meaner. Especially when it comes to my Mother. She wouldn't harm a fly. She's kind to strangers, a relatively happy lady. Yes she is depressed from losing the man she lived for, and she's working it out. But, who the hell calls their own Mother a cunt??? Do you have any idea how much that pisses me off? Mostly because the kid (kid, hell, he's 28 years old!) would never do that in front of me because he'd be knocked out. You don't talk to your own Mother like that. I know some that do, and I have no respect for them. So now, my brother has lost a lot from me. He will now get treated like the rest of my family, at arms length. I have more to say about what is going on with me and my job search, etc, but I will state that if what I'd like to see happen in the next year to 18 months, that kid is about to be on a very lonely island. I had a nice weekend up until my Mom called me back on Sunday night to hear this, and I almost got in my car to drive home and whoop his ass. Only problem is I'm broke, so that's a no-go. I can't even talk to him right now because it will go nowhere. He's made his decisions, and those decisions will have massive repercussions. I hope he's happy with how things are going to turn out. And here I was thinking I was a shitty brother. Man did I ever have that one wrong. He's a crappy human being right about now, not me.
About to be poor Yup, it's coming down to it. I've been living broke for quite awhile, but it's about to become poor. If you don't know what that means, I'm glad for you. I'm not thrilled about it, believe me. And yes, I need something positive to happen on the job front. The funds are just drying up. I have to find out if I need to file for another emergency round of unemployment or if I need to file again. I'm pretty sure any tax refund I get won't be a whole bunch. It would have been nice to pay some stuff off with the money I won from fantasy football, but half of that money had to go to putting new tires and a battery in the car. Just the way things work out. I'm not even mad about that, I'm glad I did well enough at that so I didn't have to dip into my bank account to pay for it. It will all even out in the end.
My friends I've been blessed, yeah I said it, blessed to have some great people step up for me. I have guys texting or calling me here and there just to say hey and keep things in perspective. One of my best friends has done his best to get me in front of some people to help me get hired. I've got others who just want to hang out and tell me to 'shut up' and show up. All that means is I don't like going out much when I know I can't afford to buy meals at a restaurant. And my friends tell me to can it and the beer is taken care of. I can stretch $10-$15 better than most. It's a skill I'm glad I have but wish I didn't have to use it this much. Thank goodness for the crock pot. I've had some fall by the wayside, and I understand how that can be, too. If I have nothing to offer other than my charming personality, I might not want to hang out with me, either. They'll be back when I can offer them something. I know, they aren't really friends. I'm well aware. And I know that my friends aren't there to find me a job, but friends are there to lift you up when you're not feeling so hot, to encourage you, and to be there thru the good and the bad. I've got some people that have stood beside me thru some ugly stuff, and I know that I'm lucky to have them around.
The job search Well, it's tiring. More like mentally draining. I haven't had my hopes up and down so much since I was dating back in high school. Just when you think something great might happen, the job gets offered to someone else, or the hire date gets pushed out two months, or they seem really excited to meet you and then you never hear from them again. And then, how many times do you call but don't want to seem desperate? My rule for dating is two phone calls, spread out a week apart. If you don't hear back, move on. I don't think it's the same for jobs. I have no clue. I've been out of work more than I've worked in the past two years. It's disheartening. I'm ready and willing to work. This lack of work is effecting other aspects of my life. I don't feel too manly when I'm not earning. It's all in my head, for sure, but it still isn't a great feeling. I'm none too excited to sit here and doubt myself.
Is the door closed? I think it is. What door? I think the door to me moving back east is closed and shut. It'll read like lyrics to a country song, but I don't think it's meant to be. My family doesn't seem to excited about the prospect, my boys back there will never change (sometimes that's a great thing, other times-well, not so much), no one wants to talk to me seriously about a job unless I'm already there-no matter how many times or ways I express that I'm not looking for a relocation package, and others just seem to keep me and that whole idea the same length you would keep a homeless person away from you on the 'T'. Look, the weather sucks, traffic is atrocious, people are pushy (I should know, I'm from there, and I'm called arrogant here-ha!), and the only real good reason to be there right now is an 11 month old ball of fun named Aiden (my lil' Godson, who's cuter every picture I see of him). My Mom and I have talked about her moving out here in a year or so. No, she's not living with me. But I haven't had any family around me out here, like, ever, and it would be great to have her near me. Yes, a plane ride is only 4 hours away, and I can call her, but my brother isn't taking care of her, or watching over her like he should. She's going to be 59 in a few weeks, but she'll be an old 59. New England does that to you. I'm 34, and some days it's like I'm damn near 50. Maybe it's because I'm an older sibling, maybe it's because I had to earn when I was 12. Who knows? I'm not willing to delve into that aspect of my life right now, just in case I uncover something that will take too long to recuperate from. I can't risk it.
My love life Hahaha, seriously? What love life? I'm unemployed and don't feel so hot about myself. Add that to what's happened recently, and I'm shut down. I'm doing everything in my power to focus on finding an opportunity to make a living. Otherwise, what's the point? I can't put myself out there right now anyways. Why? Uh, let's just say I'm not in a position to at this point in time. Can we leave it at that?
My health I won't lie to you my dear reader. My mental well-being is okay, for the most part. I have to remind myself to get out of the house on occasion. There are only so many job listings you can read and respond to and so many cooking shows you can watch. Seriously, watching the food network is like porn for the hungry. This whole exercise thing I've been trying has come back to bite me in the ass-well, more like knee, than I could have ever hoped for. By not really doing much for 3 years I think I let some scar tissue in my reconstructed knee build up. And now it's breaking up with a vengeance. So much so that my knee has blown up with some sweet swelling. And there's only so much advil a man can/should take. So now it's to rest the damn thing and work on my core exercises. Yeah for Yoga. Could also be my body telling me to take it easy. I still have my goal months away, but I'm starting to feel a little bit healthier. And I bought some organic oranges-I think I have a new favorite treat. I know, it sounds lame, but nothing wrong with eating fruit as a snack. Oh, and if I eat another salad I should be chucked in the rabbit cage any day now.
This too shall pass I'm reminded of so many things my family and friends have taught me over the years, but right now I'm specifically remembering a talk my Pops and I had. He told me that I'll never be as great as my greatest day and never as bad as my worst day. And he is right. The measure of a man isn't how many times he gets knocked down, but how many times he gets up. I know you may think that while you were reading this that I'm giving up. Hardly. I'm also not asking if that's the best shot life has to give me. Because it's not. But I've got broad shoulders to wisk away despair, anger and pain. I'm older than I'm supposed to be, as evidenced by the gray in my beard and the lines on my face, but that doesn't mean there isn't a little kid excited for the next great roller coaster to come along. Some will ask, 'Why me?'. I ask 'Why not me?'. While I may have been stunned, shocked and/or hurt by recent events and discussions, that only means that something great is coming. How could it not? How would you look at it? I can't give up now. Cowards give up. Some fear failure. I see those that are afraid to try. Yup, I lead with my heart, and sometimes that doesn't work out so well. But, what if it does? How awesome would that be? What happens when you win? Some expect it. Others are shocked by it. I hope I know to realize when I've won.
Sports I don't really feel like talking a whole bunch about them, really. I know, you're shocked. Well, in brief-The Bruins could use a tie right now, a win could be considered miraculous. The Celtics have the same issues as the B's-team health. It would be a wonder to see either team with their whole lineup healthy, bench rotation included. I'm glad I'm not a Vikings fan, because I watched the NFC Championship on replay the other day, and beside the lazy turnovers (no, not Favre's INT at the end of the 2nd half), there were way too many calls that would have caused me to question the integrity of the NFL. Yup, I said it. The SB is in 3 days, and I'm looking forward to watching a game I don't really care about. Whichever team wins will probably deserve it.
What else do you want to know? Ask, I've got nothing to hide-really.
Happy Thursday, and in case you didn't know about the tattoo I was talking about in my last post, it states 'To Thine Own Self Be True'......
