The Truth....

Does it really set you free or do you just feel better after unloading it? My reason for asking is simple-I've had people asking me questions the last two weeks, and I've pulled no punches, but was asked how I was doing last night at a fundraiser, and my reply was simply 'Are you asking to be polite or because you want to know?'

You may think me a jerk for asking that question, but let me just point out that the same question gets asked about a million times a day, and I'd be willing to bet 99% of it is just out of politeness.

Sure enough, right after I was told it was genuine did I get steamrolled out of a conversation. And it's fine, that's not what has me fired up. This is not a pity party either. I guess this is me putting it out there, on notice, if you will, that I'm taking a break, or resigning. I'm resigning my role as General Manager of all the bullshit. I no longer have the capacity, tenacity nor temerity with which to keep on keepin' on for all my friends.

Friendship is a two-way street, and some have quite frankly made it one way. Well, that one-way is now closed, you can claim the 'W', because I refuse to stand around and get kicked in the gonads for the umpteenth time.

You bet, I'm fed up. And I'm really tired of people who claim they know me not noticing the signs that I'm in trouble, that I've asked for help, and they refuse even so much as an invite to hang out, respond to an email or even, God forbid, a text message. And don't go giving me that, "I've been busy" crap, either. No one is that busy. Not for true friends, not for all the times I've had their collective backs. Not for all the times I've checked in and cared. And this is not a 'scoreboard' type issue. I'm just fed up. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, went for a walk, and then came home to 2(1) voicemails telling me 'sorry I forgot about you, but there's something going on this weekend, it would be great if you could....' You assholes want my help, after forgetting all about me? That takes some serious balls, people.

I'm sure some are reading this and thinking, 'Wait, he's in trouble?' Yes, I'm admitting it. I'm in deep shit right now. There, it's been stated. Why? Simple, in the last week I've had more crap hit me than I could imagine. And here's the thing, a certain HUGE thing has very recently hit me. This grieving cycle has finally come knockin' on my door, and it's making itself quite comfy the last few days. How comfy? Well, I'd really appreciate it if my tear ducts would shut it down for awhile. I'm simply broken at the moment, and it's not that I don't care for or about anybody else, but I swear, as lame is this sounds, a freaking hug that was sincere would be much appreciated.

Instead, the man who is the self-proclaimed worse poker player ever (that would be me) gets to get steamrolled during a simple conversation. Well, no more. I've had enough of being an afterthought. If I am not good enough to be thought of in the beginning, don't worry about me at the end. I'm pretty sure I've earned that when it comes to the friendships I've built. And if I've neglected any friend that reads this, then simply put, 'My Bad'. And you know I'll do everything in my power to show my appreciation and thanks for having you as a friend.

For the rest of you, and I'm pretty sure after some 'deep' 5 second thought, you'll know who you are, don't bother. And I really do mean it. I've poured my heart out and given and given and given, and people are awesome at taking. But the spicket has been shut off. Again, I resign my role. I don't want it, can't believe I thought I was smart enough to handle that job. I'm way too underqualified to deal with it. At least therapists get paid.

Those of you that this doesn't apply to, keep reading...the rest, what part of 'bounce' do you not grasp? You're out, that job will not be filled, I'm closing up ranks, I can't take it anymore. I'm tired, I'm sad, I'm balling, and I'm learning once again that other than my tightest circle of friends, I have the power to control who I deal with. Do you know the principles of a pendulum? If not, it's simple really, when the pendulum swings one way, it, in theory, must go the same distance in the opposite direction. How does this relate to what I'm talking about? Easy, as irked as I am at this latest revelation, I know that I'm on the way back to feeling 'normal', and I'll have learned something from the grieving process and who my true friends are. A real friend is just there, plain and simple. They know that sometimes they may have to buy you a beer and tell you that you're going to be alright. They never use the word 'fine'. Nothing is ever 'fine'. And anyone who uses that term is full of it. They know it, you know, and I'm hoping you can figure out that I know it, too.

I will end this part of the blog with this-while I may be ticked at who hasn't showed out the way they always said they would, I'm impressed and thankful for those that I never would have expected to and how great it has been to get to know them.

Now, the weekend-how was yours? Mine was pretty good, went to a concert, learned that I can still shut someone down with just a glare and had a good time, helped my roommate out, had a 'gotta' event early Sunday and then another 'gotta' event on Sunday night.

The concert was awesome, went and saw Mos Def all by myself. He showed up with Jay Electronica and Reflection Eternal (DJ Hi-Tek and Talib Kweli). And honestly, the best parts of the show were Reflection Eternal and when Mos was jamming and Talib came out and did some BlackStar stuff. That was the main reason I went. I got to hear what I was hoping for. Now, there's also an annoying side to going to concerts, be it small or large venues. Since I'm broke, I decided that while the ticket was great, I would not be drinking. I don't do drugs, so if anyone was kind enough to play 'Puff-Puff-Pass', well, I just passed. The annoying thing is that some (most?) can't hold their liquor. This would explain the 'Put Yo' Hands Up' girl standing behind me and slightly to the left. How do I know this? Because this walking calamity had her damn iPhone in her right hand and kept hitting me in the back of my head the whole night...on the left side. The first 2 times she did it, I looked back and was apologized to. Fine, no problem. It wasn't like she was beating me with it. But I have only a baseball hat on my head for protection, I'm bald, so there is no hair for cushion support. After I got hit another 5 times I finally had to turn around and ask if she could cut it out. Her boyfriend apologized, and I was thinking, finally, someone with some sense. Well, I got smacked about another 3 times before I turned and just stated 'Could you please just knock it off?' Mind you, I'm stone sober in a venue with no ventalation and it's hot and muggy in there. I'm doing a ton to keep my cool. Now some might be asking why I didn't move. Simple, when I got inside the venue, I picked my 'spot' on the level where it would be best to see the stage and there would be no one in front of me, and if they were, they'd be a level below me, so unless Yao Ming or Manute Bol showed up, I was going to see the stage. Pretty much, I got there first, and I was leaning up against a railing, where was I going? So where does the glare come in? Simple, when Mos Def was wrapping up his set, I figured I can leave. Well, by now the boyfriend is drunk, and he's in the way of me leaving. I say 'Excuse Me', very politely, and as I'm walking by he boos me. Read that again. The little dweeb booed me!! What did I do? Nothing. So I had to ask him, 'Pardon me, but did you just boo me?' when the ugly girlfriend has to try and get all Jerry Springer up in my face, telling me it's a party and to 'Jet'. She got the glare (and immediately shut up), and the boyfriend started mean-muggin'. He got it, too, and said he can't hear anything out of his ear. 'How convenient, did you just boo me?' Ugly girlfriend again gets all tough (apparently I was to be intimidated by the eyebrow piercing, I have no idea) and told me to 'Roll'. The boyfriend apologized and I told him to have a good night. One glare, two people shutting up and an apology. Yup, unfortunately I still got it. And I wasn't looking for a fight or any type of altercation, I'm just really tired of people thinking that they're tough once someone is gone or past them. This happens once a summer to me out here in Denver, and I've been here 12 years. I don't want to fight, that crap is in my past, and I have no desire to go back to that 'place'. But some of these young punks need to realize that while I'll walk away, I know for certain others won't, and they could get messed up real bad. Now, I know I made a mistake here as well-you don't try and reason with drunk people. I ought to remember this stuff from my days serving drinks. And I thought about them being drunk on the way home, after I told them both to have a good night (and I meant it), because they were trashed, and I decided not to drink...there were 7 cars pulled over by the cops between the venue and my house, like a 20 mile stretch. Just be careful out there.

Saturday was filled with the fun of helping out my friends and my roommate. He drove a front-end loader and I followed him with my hazards going. Of course, sitting in an air-conditioned vehicle listening to the Red Sox game wasn't too bad. Hey, it's what friends do. But I couldn't believe the amount of cursing, pointing and overall anger caused behind me by having my hazards on when people couldn't get around. Many a law was broken. Hopefully it was the heat, but I'm amazed continually how important most people think their time is worth over their fellow man. It was really weird to see how on one street people got it and just waited to go around while turning on another you'd have thought I kicked their puppy. Calm down, it's Saturday, Walmart isn't going anywhere. And by the size of some of them, neither is Good Times. Sheesh.
Saturday night I also watched some fights. The main event was kind of a shock to me, only because one of the guys claimed a stacked deck. Don't get me wrong, this kid looked like a punk and while I'm not a huge fan of his style, at the very least I still think he won the fight. But when he didn't, and he thought he got bent over, one of the best interviews I've ever seen happened, and I missed the stuff afterwards, when apparently there was a press conference. I'll let you read the stuff from Deadspin....
There is no way that was a 118-110 fight. Not now, not ever. Not when I'm blind, not if I have gluacoma. Not sure what these judges were watching, but I'll agree with everything this guy said. And it's a huge reason why some people who used to pay big bucks for boxing PPV's now spend their money on UFC events.

On Sunday, I had the joy of 2 'gotta' events. If you don't know what that means, allow me to elaborate. There are things that you want to do, things you have to do, and things you 'gotta' do. It's like going to your racist aunt's house for a Labor Day BBQ when you know you'll have no fun. You're kind of obligated to go. You don't necessarily have to go, I doubt you want to go, but you still gotta go. It's just easier.
With that in mind, I had a standing invitation to an event that is held once or twice a month, with folks that are far more read than I, and they are into this thing, and even have a potluck. What the heck is it? It's a board game party. Look, I'm not knocking them, I'm really not. They're really nice people, but they're very pale and have spent even more time on the internet than I have. They read A LOT of books, and not that that's a bad thing, but human interaction can be pretty cool, too. Fine, I just don't read that much or that fast. The internet and the bottomline ticker have been two of my greatest downfalls as a human when it comes to reading. And face it, I suck at board games that aren't reduced to trivia, Sorry!, CandyLand, Memory and HiHo CherryO (a game that will forever be hidden since my brother would not stop playing it or asking to play it as a kid). I had fun, brought brownie bites (I defy you to show me who doesn't like them, unless they're allergic to chocolate). And I even played a game. Look, I'm not better than anyone there, and the table I was at was amusing, because we're amusing people. There is one person that creeps me out that shows up in this same circle, for reasons I'm not willing to speak about, but he gives me that vibe, that's all. But again, I had fun and will go back, provided it's not on an NFL Sunday (hey, I'm unemployed, how do you think I'll be supplementing my income? I've got a bachelor party and a wedding coming up, you think money just shows up?).
The other event that I had to leave the game-boarding for was another 'gotta', but I still had fun. It was a scholarship event hosted by a wine association that a good friend of mine belongs to. He owns a farm (yes, in Denver!) and his family cooks up all this food and different wineries bring in their own hooch for, ahem, 'tasting'. Pretty much it boils down to damn good Italian cooking, great wine, awesome desserts and a lot of laughing. Face it, when you can put a bunch of Italians happy and buzzed together, it's going to get loud and it's going to be funny. I'm at home in this environment. I get to be me, get my balls busted and do some ball busting. It's like being home, which right about now I'm missing a whole bunch. It allowed me to forget about all the stuff going on in my head/heart and do what I do best, make folks laugh. I'm slowly learning that it may actually be a gift of mine. I wasn't granted a fantastic physique, a full head of hair or rugged good looks, but I'm alright with who I am. Funny how that works out, isn't it.

Two more stories for you before I go back to job-hunting. These two are connected, so wait for it. I was asked a few days ago if I'm avoiding Boston with regards to my job search. My answer was yes. My answer is kinda-sorta. I have the real trepidation of finding something there and it not working on, on any level. Of my family telling me to pound sand, of the job not working, of my friends not showing up. There, I said it.
That being stated, I am the Godfather to this munchkin:

World, meet Aiden. Yes, he's watching the Red Sox. It's hysterical that this can calm him down, or so I'm told (no, this wasn't taken during last night's game). I had to ask his father, and one of my best friend's, if one of the reasons I was asked to be part of this lil' guys life was to entice me to come back to Boston. A sly chuckle ensued. Yes, I'm torn, but I don't think any of you have any clue how much I want to be a part of this kid's life, hang out with him and be 'Uncle Bone' (yes, that's what he'll call me, it was my nickname in college, and it sticks to this day. Short for Bonehead I think, but I digress). It's an honor to be asked, and I really do feel that way. But I also think it's slightly ingenius to get me to think long and hard about moving back to my 'homebase' by asking me to have such an awesome responsibility.

Don't think for one minute that when I'm back in September that quite a bit of time will be spent goofing around with this kid...how could I not??? And wouldn't you?

So what does all this mean? It means that while I may be afraid of failing by trying to look (again) at openings across the country, I'm even more afraid of not trying. All that can happen is being told 'No', and that, I'm used to. Rumor has it your chances go up simply by applying...Who knew?

Oh, and to answer my own question, does the truth really set you free or do you just feel better after unloading it? In this case, both. I don't believe in phrase "I keep it real." In my case, I keep it right.

Enjoy Monday!

----------------
Now playing: Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince - Summertime '98
via FoxyTunes

so I find this amusing....

so sue me....

I'm at a coffee shop because the internet is down at my house....why? Because my roommate fails to pay his bills in a timely manner and I suffer. This ain't news, it's just stupid.

But no matter, because I saw something that made me laugh....a large woman with an 'infinity' symbol tattooed on the back of her neck....the only thing that appeared to have no end was her ginormous ass!

There, I said it. At least she didn't have a 'Guess' t-shirt on, otherwise someone might have and then all bets would be off!

The vent is about closed

I could come up with a million things to be pissy about, but not today.

I'll just say that the day started out strong, a long walk can help clear the mind and when the weather is nice-as it is most of the time in Colorado-you have to take advantage of it in the morning. It's so worth.

By the time I got a bunch of stuff accomplished, I decided to take a break and go look at new cell phones. I've been looking at switching to Sprint, and have some bucks stashed away from winning a couple of fantasy football leagues last year (yup, I'm a geek, fine). I even got a sweet coupon from Best Buy for a Palm Pre-the phone I was interested in. Since I'm on a month-to-month with AT&T, it can't hurt to look.
Well, has anyone had great service at Best Buy? I was there for 30 minutes and not one person would help me! Now, this isn't at all Best Buy's, because the one near my old apartment was very helpful and friendly. These people looked like they couldn't be bothered.
So, at least I got to look at the Pre-it's too small. I don't like the keyboard or the fact that the 3 demo models they had out all had that plastic overlay screen, so you couldn't play with it.
I then tried to check out the newest iPhone. Cool stuff, of course I'm interested in the applications, that's the whole point of the phone, but I wasn't stoked by the keypad. My stubby little fingers kept fat-fingering everything, so I could see me getting frustrated with that thing. Then there's the monthly cost of these things. I'm not a huge fan of Sprint, but I've been told by some folks that I trust that Sprint's network is great in Colorado. You can get phone, text and data all for $100 a month. Same stuff for AT&T? $150!!! That's how those Sprint commercials come up with that $1200 price difference over the life of a 2 year contract.

After that excursion, I have made the decision that this whole job search is just another testing ground for me to find stuff that I like and to keep with it. Oh, and one little other tidbit, to give myself a break every once in awhile. I do a pretty good job of blaming myself for things that are way out of my control.

Until tomorrow....nighty-nite.
----------------
Now playing: A Tribe Called Quest - Bonita Applebum
via FoxyTunes

So how's it going?

In a word...not so hot.

There-it's out in the open. I'm irked, tired, depressed and overall shitty. Why? Fair enough question. Multiple reasons. Mostly because I'm unemployed...again. I'm really over this crap. I will take you thru the last few weeks since I haven't updated anyone really on what's been going on. Or better yet, if they ask how I'm doing, I say I'm alright. A complete and utter lie. But it's better to just say that and let folks get on with their day than to burden them with my dumb problems. Well, maybe they're not all dumb, but right about now, that's how it's feeling.

First and foremost, I had a job offer. It was then taken back. Why? Because I wanted something different. It goes like this-when I was selling BI software up until 1/7/09, I had a potential client that I had prospected, called, followed up on, called, emailed, called, emailed, called and finally set up an appointment for an on-site demo. This was back in November. Well, my Pops passed away so I wasn't able to do the song and dance for this company. I sent my boss instead. Now, he's a great guy, but he's not a closer. After all the stuff for Pops was dealt with, I went back to following up with them and having conference calls, etc. They said due to the economy that they wouldn't be ready to sign on until the end of January. Well, as I already told you, I was laid off by then. So someone else got my commission and sale off of all the work I did. Hey, shit happens.
Well, since I knew they bought my old solution to resell, I was curious if they had anyone to sell it for them. So I decided to put on a suit and show up with my resume. FYI, this actually worked, and is far more effective than any stupid website. I went in there with the title of my resume being 'Business Development Manager', because frankly, that's what I do. I followed up a week later, and was asked to come in to discuss my knowledge base of my old product line and to have a conversation. I didn't look at it as an interview, because interviews suck. I looked at it as a way to promote my abilities to make them money. Plain and simple, we've become a bottom line society. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it sucks. Well, I met with the COO on a Friday afternoon for almost 2 hours. He told me he'd think things over and get back to me on the following Tuesday, as his Monday was booked. I thought this was a pretty good sign.
Over that weekend I decided to kick it a little bit old school. I liked the guy, and could see myself working with him and learning a trick or two. More importantly, I thought I could help build a side of his business that is minimal at best while being treated as an adult. Huge for me after my GE experience.
So that Monday, I wrote him a thank you note (the kind you put in the mail with a stamp) and a thank you email. My email was responded to with the COO asking me to come in on Tuesday and meet with someone else. I immediately went to LinkedIn and found this guy--the CEO. This has to be a good sign, right? Wait for it.
Tuesday I went in, met with the COO again, and he told me he really liked me and would like to bring me on board (in my head, "Holy Crap this really worked???!!!"), but wanted to give me some pointers on how to talk to the CEO. Oh, and he wanted me to meet with Marketing Manager. Wait for it. It's coming, I swear.
So schedules get mixed up, and instead of me meeting with the CEO first, I'll meet him after speaking with the Marketing Manager. Fine by me. They wanted me-I was truly excited on the inside, thinking of all the cool stuff I was about to embark upon, and get this stuff rolling. The Marketing Manager (MM from here on out) starts speaking his marketing lingo (bleech) about warm leads, cold leads, organic growth (does anyone know wtf this means? really), nurtured leads, call lists (my ears perked right up, where was he going with this?) and how he wanted to get some call campaigns going. My mind immediately went to the following-"He's only talking about this as part of the stuff they would want me to do. No way would they think of what I think they could possibly be going to."
MM and I part ways and I get to meet the CEO, who is dressed in his best Maui Jim shirt. Dude, seriously, you want to be a CEO, act like it. This is software-ERP and CRM solutions, not friggin' Oahu vacations. The CEO starts asking basic questions, and after my conversation earlier that day with the COO, I kept the answers short and sweet. Again, the calling sheets and lists come up. My head starts wondering what in the hell do these guys have in mind for me? It better not be what I think it could be. When it came time for my questions, I wanted to show my value and my train of thought works. Look, when it comes to women, I admit, I suck. But business? I'll put my brain up against most and feel very comfortable.
All that is over, and the COO walks me out and tells me I should see something by Friday, after he talks things over with the MM and CEO. After speaking with these guys over two seperate meeting for 3 and 1/2 hours, I was feeling pretty damn good.
Well, Friday came by and I was off my computer by 4. The offer was emailed to me at 5:15. I was out for the evening. I got in around 2, stone sober as I was DD and fired up the laptop. I saw the email, and opened the attachment. The base salary was line 3. It was barely above my age. At this point I decided to close my laptop and go to sleep, as I can read this in the morning.
Morning comes, and I read it again. And then I saw it. 'Inside Sales Representative'. UGH. Are you kidding me? I read this offer like another 7 times over the weekend, and the more I read it, the more stuff I had questions about. Most importantly, why after speaking with the COO one-on-one for over 2 hours was this never spelled out??? I came at them with Business Development and then in turn offer me a desk jockey role? I'll make this clear for those in the cheap seats-I've been on the road, doing conferences and meeting with CEOs, CIOs, CFOs, IT Directors, etc. You cannot take someone that is a road warrior and put them at a desk. It doesn't work. It's like trying to make an outdoor cat an indoor cat. It will fail 99.9% of the time. As for me, I knew I'd be miserable, and would end up hating myself and them for taking that job. The commission structure was baffling as well. I'd get 5 or 10% of the NET PROFIT of any deal that I brought in. Well, if you don't tell me what the average or mean net profit of the deals you bring in, how can I know what I'm looking at?
I emailed the COO thanking him for his offer but asking for a call to see if there was any room in his offer. We scheduled a time for Tuesday to speak. I had one of my best friends suggest that I write out what I'm going to say and ask, even putting the word 'STOP' when I should pause. I took this suggestion and ran with it.
Tuesday came and I was told he was in a meeting. Not a good sign. I left a voicemail. 15 minutes later I get a call from the COO, and we have our discussion. I tell him thank you for the generous offer (a crock if there ever was one), it was great meeting him, I think we match up as a potential employee/employer, but wanted to know if there was any room for discussion on his offer. He asked what I had in mind (really? I want to run your business-there, I said it). I told him I promised myself I wouldn't take less than between x and y. I also asked for an explanation on my role, for an elaboration on the commission structure, and if we could change the job title. Why a change on the job title? Simple-if I was going to go out and present myself as an agent of this company, no one would take me seriously as an inside sales representative. More importantly, I'm past that role. My skillset is not suited to fit that. He agreed to change the title, and after explaining the commission structure, told me I was 'Raw as a salesman'.
Now, I could have gone off the deep end, but I took the dig. I wanted to tell him that he was full of it. Aside from women, I've done a pretty good job at selling my whole life. You want examples? Fine-how about the captain of damn near every team I played for since 9th grade? Is it because I'm the most talented? Hell no. But I'm a leader. How about going on stage as a standup comic-aren't I selling you the audience my material to get you to laugh? How about getting accepted to every school I applied to, paying for it myself and then getting a job across the country? Is this not all sales of some type?? Back to the ladies, that's the biggest sales job there is, and while I sometimes wish I were more successful (my own definition), I'm still thrilled by the successes I've had. 'Raw as a salesman'? Puh-lease, only in job title, pal.
I also told this COO that after looking over the roles and responsibilities that I might not be the best fit, as I have personal expectations to go out and get more business, and if they wanted someone to work the phones 40-50 hours a week, this could be a point that we differ on. He told me he understood and wanted to go back to the CEO and discuss. He'd get back to me on Wednesday.
I hung up that phone and knew immediately that this wouldn't work and that I would be a horrid fit for the role they came up with. I hate the phone, unless I'm chatting with friends. I can't stand cold-calling, unless my ability to earn is on the line. These guys thought I would set appointments for them. Sorry, but I'm no one's secretary. I'm way past grunt work of this kind. Now, if they had come up with really good money, I'd have thought it over much, much longer. Instead, the next day I get a 4 line email telling me that they were revoking the offer and I wasn't what they were looking for.
Wait a minute-I showed up and presented an offer to you (Me, as a Business Development Manager) in which they twisted into something more administrative and beneath me (yeah, that's right, I just said it), we've met for over 3 hours face to face, and you don't even have the courtesy to call me? My gut told me when I first met the COO that while I liked him, there was a 10% chance he had worm-like qualities, and I was absolutely correct about it.
Look at the positives-showing up worked and I got a job offer. Just because I didn't like it doesn't mean it didn't work. Hey, it's my theory and my blog.

So, what else is there? Well, I had to move since my lease expired, and on the last day I had a few things to pick up that I had left there. Only to find that the maintenance crew showed up a day early and went thru my goodwill bags and stole a lighter I was going to give to a friend. It was a cool lighter I won at a trivia contest. Yes it was free, but the point is they stole it. So I had to deal with those morons at the leasing office, who came up with the tired and bland excuse of a miscommunication. No shit, Sherlock. Anything else, Captain Obvious? This nitwit even had the nerve to tell me that they were kind enough to waive all the fees I had incurred due to the maintenance crew going there and having to move some garbage bags full of clothes. HELLO McFly, did the silicone from your fake knockers seep into that melon shaped thing you call a head? My lease was up 7/31, you went in a day early, rifled thru my goodwill clothes, snagged a lighter, and then were going to charge me for it? Since when do rapists start asking for a positive review on Yelp? What the hell? The joy of being me is that I know how to put the fear of God into someone. So I just glared at her, and asked her politely to repeat the fees part again. At which time the manager (yet another Rhodes Scholar) came out, and told her with me standing right in front of them, 'Did you tell him we'll waive the fees?' I'm standing right here you dolt!!! You can't charge fees when you screwed up. I'm pretty sure I don't look like a 'tard, so please oh please stop treating me like I'm simple. I brought up the point to the two pretty, empty shells that while I was thankful for them waiving the fees for their mistake, to please look into their processes of move-outs so no one else has to feel like they got robbed when they are merely trying to pick up some things left behind to clothe the needy, and that I'd be back in 10 minutes with all their keys. 'Sorry for the mixup' was what was said to me when I handed back my keys. My reply was that I was sorry I couldn't recommend gross incompetence. "Sorry sir but I don't know what that means." I'm dead serious, balloon-chest actually said that to me. Wow.

I got in a car accident, too. Allow me to rephrase. I got hit on the highway. The guy behind me during stop and go traffic wasn't paying attention and hit the brakes just a tad late....like after he smashed my rear bumper. It took about 3 weeks from the accident, but the bumper is fixed, so is the muffler and my trunk 'floor'. His car was trashed. God how I love my Nissan, that thing took a lick and is still running like a top. I got a truck with no horsepower for my rental while my car was in the body shop. I lucked out, since I was moving, and the truck wasn't too shabby.

I've got way more to vent on, but I'm tired. You've got a question, just ask it. I'll be okay, I know that this too shall pass and that if I keep trying something good will come from it. I'm just a wee bit impatient at this time, considering I have a bachelor party in Boston next month and a wedding in October.

It was nice to hear the groom-to-be tell me last night that if I had a +one to just tell him and it was cool. My reply was that I appreciated it, but I don't even have the stones to ask the one person I'd want by my side for this, as I don't think I can handle the conversation at this time. I know it's a 'No', so why bother?

Hey....football starts in like a month...YES!