This blog is inspired by comedian Billy Gardell and the premise for his DVD, "Halftime". With yesterday being my 37th birthday, there are some things that I need to put out there. I was cleaning up some paperwork over the long Thanksgiving weekend, and came across a piece of paper I wrote a couple of things I wanted to accomplish. There were 3 things on this list (and I'm going to add context-mostly because almost none of you reading this knew me back when I was 21):
1. Fall in love (this was inevitable and I wanted to make sure I handled it properly. FYI-I didn't)
2. Do Stand Up Comedy (I've started and stopped this twice)
3. Learn to play the bass guitar (that guy can play in any type of group, provided he can really play)
Now, 2 out of 3 is usually considered pretty good. But not in this case. And I've managed to figure out why. First, go back to the title of this post. It's halftime. At 37 I firmly believe I have another 37 years on this planet. And I have played a sloppy 1st half. Others would call it shitty, crappy, horrid or even timid. And they'd be right. Hindsight is always 20/20, and in this case, I am my own worst critic. But I'm honest, too. And the most honest thing I can say is that I've been playing not to lose as opposed to playing to win.
I have no clue how this came about. It wasn't the game plan. It happened by little things, and little things accumulate into big things. So what happens? I ended up bullshitting myself. I lost the faith. Yes, many things contribute to this. The best part? Halftime adjustments, people. Halftime adjustments. And the solutions are so easy, there will probably be a blog written about what a dummy I am for not realizing it sooner.
The biggest adjustment, and it started yesterday, is real easy. There is no holding back. The filter is gone. For those that read this, you won't notice a difference. The rest of the folks out there in Stupidville? Get ready. The crotchety old guy is here, and he wants you off his lawn now. This is not an idle threat. It's already started. And so far the feedback has been positive. Guess what? I don't care. I've tried certain things, held back even, and it just isn't comfortable. It'd be like asking me to wear tighty whiteys....a) it's not a good look and b) it will make me uncomfortable. So why pander to others, so they aren't uncomfortable? Sorry gang, I've held my tongue (oh, it's true) about certain things when letting it flow would have been the much better option.
This does not mean I don't owe some folks an apology here and there. But overall, y'all need to zip it and let me be the spokesperson. I think you'll like my succinct style and how effective it is in getting shit done. I don't do 15 words when 5 does the same thing, maybe even faster.
This does mean that there are some subjects I've had enough of. Here are a few:
The Election
For those that think this was another affirmation of Obama, I tell you to sit down and shut up. You're the same people who say that after the election that Republicans need to reach across the table, the public has spoken. Then you clearly didn't hear the message, because nothing else changed. Same House, same Senate. Nothing changed. All we got was billions of dollars wasted on some asshole telling us what the other asshole was going to do. Oh, and New Hampshire, you're in my crosshairs-and I know exactly why y'all voted the way you did. Another time, because you're not the state I was raised in. It's true, you can't go home again. As I live in what is known as a 'swing state', I've heard all the grossest of arguments. I'd like to ask everyone a question--how much rape and incest is going on? That was a huge point of emphasis in Colorado. Also, another question-why was it that Republicans were pushing the passage of the legalization of marijuana and Democrats were against it? Just a note-the Governor owned/owns a brewpub in Denver. So as long as we pick booze as the poison it's okay?
Being Conservative
I've already called a friend of mine out on this. In public. He tried to tell 2 other card-carrying Democrats that I was a Republican. He's done this before. I'd told him to knock it off. I don't carry around a scarlet 'R' on my chest. And I don't associate with Republicans, or what those assholes that have stolen the GOP call themselves. I'm a libertarian with a gun, borderline constitutionalist. It is easier to admit you're gay than it is to be conservative. Funny, I thought by me stating that what I do in my house is my business and you in yours was a good thing. I thought calling out the follies of government was a good thing. I thought mocking all those politicians, right or left, that couldn't keep it in their pants, was a great thing. That's how I'm a conservative-Leave me the hell alone. And by announcing me as a Republican, doesn't that automatically put me on the defensive how I have to defend a whole party's platform? Again, it would be easier for me to say I spend my weekends on my knees getting my asshole worked over like pizza dough than it is to say I'm a conservative. You've already seen my idea on gay 'marriage'. It'd work. It's a great compromise. Instead, I get outed like I'm the one who narc'd on everyone getting the answers to the test early. Bullshit. I'm a damn proud conservative. If I was such the asshole you all associate with that word, then why are we friends? Do you need me around so you have someone to mock at parties? Someone to feel sorry for, like I'm a retard? Sorry, but I've got my own ideas on how the world ought to be run, just like you do. Sad part is, I'm more than happy to listen to your ideas, liberals. I get called names and told my ideas are racist long before you've heard a one of them. But thank God you're the inclusive party.
Cancer
Seriously, FUCK Cancer. I've lost my Dad 4 years ago to it. An Aunt last month. Friends have lost parents. I lost a dear friend to it. I have friends-yes, it's now more than one person-that have had their lives turned upside down and twisted in ways that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. And we're not closer to a cure. I wish one of those weak-willed candidates for President would make a stand. Like Kennedy putting a man on the moon-that kind of gusto. Make that a platform. "We will end cancer." Who doesn't vote for that person? Cancer can eat a bag of AIDS-ridden dicks. That's how pissed I am at Cancer.
Now, for some good things...
Syracuse is bowl eligible, baby!!!
CU, take note. Ya done fucked it up again. You let a good man and a potential good coach go, after only 2 years. So next year you'll see his Juniors. How can you explain this lack of continuity? Go out and get someone and leave him alone for 4 years, provided there are no hookers, gambling or cheating on test stories. Steroids? Hell, encourage 'em. Have you seen how small the offensive and defensive lines have looked in comparison to other PAC12 teams? Oh, one other thing---keep the in state kids in state. Let the guy recruit all over the country. At the same time, you might want to think about canning the AD, he's overseen a lot of this mess.
Other good news? My nieces and nephews think I'm awesome...which, frankly, I am. I lift 'em up and chuck 'em around, wrestle with them, make sure they keep their fingers out of their nose's, and make 'em laugh. Kids are a great judge of character-you can't bullshit them. And I know I'm biased, but all of the little munchkins I get the privilege to know are all pretty darn good kids.
I'm looking for a new job, because a cube farm isn't something I was born to be locked into. None of us were, really. It's something we all just accept because we're too afraid to do something else. I know I was. Not anymore. Time for me to find something I'm actually passionate about. I've got some ideas.
One of the ideas that I've come up with is that I need to get on stage. Stand up comedy might be like therapy for me. Besides, I paint a pretty picture with words. No more playing not to lose. Play to win. Leave it all out there. Because, and you pass this along, the biggest failure in life is not trying.
I'll write more tomorrow on my match.com 'experience', football and another bombshell or two.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Cleaning up the tabs
It's all political crap, questions remain, this is only meant to make people think. It's why I read them, I'm just sharing, that's all. No more, no less. I could share with you the LOVELY phone call I got on Wednesday night trying to sway my political opinion--but here's the thing, the guy was such a douche and made such sweeping statements that I was generally insulted. Add to it that after he said he didn't get his news from corporate shills (Ha!) I figured out who he was working for...a major corporate PAC. Doesn't anyone realize that nowadays I have all sorts of info at my fingertips? Hell, with voice recognition I don't even need to type!! On to some links:
Sexism? Maybe. Skewed stats? Far more likely.
Racism is always one of my favorite topics. I'm always amused at the Costanza tactics of the Looney Left (yes, a direct cousin of the Religious Right):
Oh, Costanza tactics? "It's not a lie if you don't believe it's a lie"..
Joe Biden says that black people will be put back in shackles, it's Romney's fault? Never ever estimate the media's inability to process logic.
Oops, I guess MSNBC was trying to get that message out while not showing 1 minority speaking at the RNC. Yes, there were speakers who didn't look white, I swear I saw them on PBS!
Much like sexism, which is worse--being given no opportunity or given a chance due to guilt? Being patronized, in my opinion. I am of the belief that if you work hard, you get chances--I have to or else I'll quit trying anything in my life. Remember the old tale of teaching a man to fish? Just sayin'.
Curious, when was a college education a guaranteed right?
Even Morgan Freeman (that man owes James Earl Jones' some money for cool voice royalties) says Barack Obama isn't America's 1st black president. Kinda tough when Moms is white, isn't it?
Finally, on the subject of race, and my mentioning of Costanza tactics-please remember that WAY back in the day that Lincoln freed the slaves. This may be an eye opener for some, but it is worth noting. You don't have to read the rhetoric, but I implore anyone to read the book quotes.
I admit, I watched both the RNC and DNC. There were statements that shocked me, there were things that made me laugh, and things that made my blood boil. Look, my belief system has not moved all that much since I was a kid. Yes, somethings have changed due to reading, reasoning and finding out after age 22 what really matters. I discussed my thoughts on gay marriage in a previous blog posting, and I stand by those thoughts. You don't have to agree with me, and I admit it's not what I'll be choosing my leaders based on. I do have a question--ever since Obama's 'evolution' on the subject, why hasn't he presented any legislature?
Based on this, I have questions. When Obama talked about saving Detroit, what the fuck was he talking about? Has anyone seen Detroit? The crime rate? The people running away from that place? As for the 'Bin Laden is Dead, GM is alive', my word people are economically stupid. Do a minor financial analysis of what the GM stocks are really worth, then talk to me. The aren't worth half of what they're listed for.
As for the abortion issue, I have a question-did Roe v. Wade get turned over? Nope. Do I think it will? Nope. So why does Moveon.org go back to the coat hanger crap? You want to have a civil conversation with me on abortion? Let's have at it. I'm going to come across at times like a crotchety old man. I'm going to ask you ladies the same thing you'd ask your daughter, if you have one. Again, this is why I say that we as a nation need to take away the 10% of the wackjobs on either side of the political landscape and let us 80% figure this crap out.
Now, teachers unions....there's a county out here in Colorado that told them to get bent. Guess which county tests well? Coincidence? I have no idea. I'm just throwing this out there, especially in light of the crap that the fine folks in Chicago are 'caring for the children'. Not like this stuff could have been worked on over the summer, right Chitown?
Obama mentioned that if you have a job you have dignity. Joe Biden said he was the son of a car guy. Let me talk for real to both. President, I've not had a job, and felt like I lost my dignity and had some serious issues with self-respect. You were halfway correct. I have a job now. But dignity? Hardly. I'm grossly underpaid and am treading water in my bank account. Last month I socked away a whopping $2.64 in savings. That ain't Livin La Vida Loca, pal. Biden, you and I are going toe to toe. I'm the son of a car guy. My old man left many a times for work. For weeks. For months. But I assure you, in my life, the man sold high end cars and only went domestic once. If you make a quality product the sell is easy. This goes back to the GM comment. We as taxpayers lose money every time a crappy Chevy Volt rolls off the assembly line. Oh, and guess who's buying them? The US government. How convenient.
Last political thing, I swear. This Sandra Fluke broad. Yes, I said broad. I know the difference. This female is 30 and thinks I need to help pay for her birth control? Honey, if I ain't fuckin' you, then I'm not paying for you. Then there's this. $$6,000????? Where does this figure come from? 6 Grand?!!! Okay, it's time for a math lesson. I went on drugstore.com to find contraceptives. A 36 count of rubbers costs $20. $6000/$20= 300 boxes. 300 boxes of 36 ct. condoms= 10,800 rubbers. There's 365 days in a year. That roughly means, by my math, that she's having sex 29 times a day. No one does this. No one. No one can. Ladies, even if you were dating the Energizer God Damn Bunny we're talking what, 6 times in a day? I have no idea, I'm 36. I have no desire for that kind of chafing.
So look whore Fluke-either you tell me where the number comes from or maybe, just maybe, start being more selective in your partners. Christ, blow one of them every once in awhile. There's no way the math works. Your whole life would be on your back. Your vagina would look like carport. It's not plausible. Here's where I come across like a crotchety old man--close your damn legs. I'm all for having a good time, really I am. But I swear if some woman I am dating let it slip that they've had some 100+ partners, it would bring pause. It would for anyone. You may think I'm being weird and judgemental, and you'd be correct. It's why I don't like the conversation of how many partners someone has had. Just let's all nod in agreement, there's a number in everyone's head that makes you get a bit skeeved out.
Finally something on sports. If Roger Goodell cares so much for player safety, why is any team playing 4 games in 17 days? This needs to stop, this whole scheduling of games all the time. The NFL is starting to screw around with people's lives. Look, I'm single and even I think that 3 nights/week is a bit much. And I love football.
Happy football watching, don't shoot the messenger, think for yourself and call your Mom, she misses you!
Sexism? Maybe. Skewed stats? Far more likely.
Racism is always one of my favorite topics. I'm always amused at the Costanza tactics of the Looney Left (yes, a direct cousin of the Religious Right):
Oh, Costanza tactics? "It's not a lie if you don't believe it's a lie"..
Joe Biden says that black people will be put back in shackles, it's Romney's fault? Never ever estimate the media's inability to process logic.
Oops, I guess MSNBC was trying to get that message out while not showing 1 minority speaking at the RNC. Yes, there were speakers who didn't look white, I swear I saw them on PBS!
Much like sexism, which is worse--being given no opportunity or given a chance due to guilt? Being patronized, in my opinion. I am of the belief that if you work hard, you get chances--I have to or else I'll quit trying anything in my life. Remember the old tale of teaching a man to fish? Just sayin'.
Curious, when was a college education a guaranteed right?
Even Morgan Freeman (that man owes James Earl Jones' some money for cool voice royalties) says Barack Obama isn't America's 1st black president. Kinda tough when Moms is white, isn't it?
Finally, on the subject of race, and my mentioning of Costanza tactics-please remember that WAY back in the day that Lincoln freed the slaves. This may be an eye opener for some, but it is worth noting. You don't have to read the rhetoric, but I implore anyone to read the book quotes.
I admit, I watched both the RNC and DNC. There were statements that shocked me, there were things that made me laugh, and things that made my blood boil. Look, my belief system has not moved all that much since I was a kid. Yes, somethings have changed due to reading, reasoning and finding out after age 22 what really matters. I discussed my thoughts on gay marriage in a previous blog posting, and I stand by those thoughts. You don't have to agree with me, and I admit it's not what I'll be choosing my leaders based on. I do have a question--ever since Obama's 'evolution' on the subject, why hasn't he presented any legislature?
Based on this, I have questions. When Obama talked about saving Detroit, what the fuck was he talking about? Has anyone seen Detroit? The crime rate? The people running away from that place? As for the 'Bin Laden is Dead, GM is alive', my word people are economically stupid. Do a minor financial analysis of what the GM stocks are really worth, then talk to me. The aren't worth half of what they're listed for.
As for the abortion issue, I have a question-did Roe v. Wade get turned over? Nope. Do I think it will? Nope. So why does Moveon.org go back to the coat hanger crap? You want to have a civil conversation with me on abortion? Let's have at it. I'm going to come across at times like a crotchety old man. I'm going to ask you ladies the same thing you'd ask your daughter, if you have one. Again, this is why I say that we as a nation need to take away the 10% of the wackjobs on either side of the political landscape and let us 80% figure this crap out.
Now, teachers unions....there's a county out here in Colorado that told them to get bent. Guess which county tests well? Coincidence? I have no idea. I'm just throwing this out there, especially in light of the crap that the fine folks in Chicago are 'caring for the children'. Not like this stuff could have been worked on over the summer, right Chitown?
Obama mentioned that if you have a job you have dignity. Joe Biden said he was the son of a car guy. Let me talk for real to both. President, I've not had a job, and felt like I lost my dignity and had some serious issues with self-respect. You were halfway correct. I have a job now. But dignity? Hardly. I'm grossly underpaid and am treading water in my bank account. Last month I socked away a whopping $2.64 in savings. That ain't Livin La Vida Loca, pal. Biden, you and I are going toe to toe. I'm the son of a car guy. My old man left many a times for work. For weeks. For months. But I assure you, in my life, the man sold high end cars and only went domestic once. If you make a quality product the sell is easy. This goes back to the GM comment. We as taxpayers lose money every time a crappy Chevy Volt rolls off the assembly line. Oh, and guess who's buying them? The US government. How convenient.
Last political thing, I swear. This Sandra Fluke broad. Yes, I said broad. I know the difference. This female is 30 and thinks I need to help pay for her birth control? Honey, if I ain't fuckin' you, then I'm not paying for you. Then there's this. $$6,000????? Where does this figure come from? 6 Grand?!!! Okay, it's time for a math lesson. I went on drugstore.com to find contraceptives. A 36 count of rubbers costs $20. $6000/$20= 300 boxes. 300 boxes of 36 ct. condoms= 10,800 rubbers. There's 365 days in a year. That roughly means, by my math, that she's having sex 29 times a day. No one does this. No one. No one can. Ladies, even if you were dating the Energizer God Damn Bunny we're talking what, 6 times in a day? I have no idea, I'm 36. I have no desire for that kind of chafing.
So look whore Fluke-either you tell me where the number comes from or maybe, just maybe, start being more selective in your partners. Christ, blow one of them every once in awhile. There's no way the math works. Your whole life would be on your back. Your vagina would look like carport. It's not plausible. Here's where I come across like a crotchety old man--close your damn legs. I'm all for having a good time, really I am. But I swear if some woman I am dating let it slip that they've had some 100+ partners, it would bring pause. It would for anyone. You may think I'm being weird and judgemental, and you'd be correct. It's why I don't like the conversation of how many partners someone has had. Just let's all nod in agreement, there's a number in everyone's head that makes you get a bit skeeved out.
Finally something on sports. If Roger Goodell cares so much for player safety, why is any team playing 4 games in 17 days? This needs to stop, this whole scheduling of games all the time. The NFL is starting to screw around with people's lives. Look, I'm single and even I think that 3 nights/week is a bit much. And I love football.
Happy football watching, don't shoot the messenger, think for yourself and call your Mom, she misses you!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Take Notice
Just a couple of things to get off my shoulders...
Who the hell puts the descriptions of match.com together?? Is there some lame ass boiler plate template that dumb people stamp out? Guess what? I love my family and friends, too. I'd love to sit here and lie and say I like, hiking, biking, camping and traveling-but I have a job and have bills to pay. Who over the age of 30 gets to have the life of a constant student on spring break? Grow up and get real.
Oh, and that whole, "I just want someone who is easy going and carefree"? I'm calling bullshit. Case in point-if you're out with this guy and some asshole is out of line, that is not the time for carefree. That's time for a gentleman, a real dude, to stand up and tell the asshole his company isn't welcome around you, his female companion for this evening. If done tactfully, it'll be cool. But carefree and easy going? Nah, that dude gets trampled on in the beginning and end of every story. Character counts.
Anyone else tired of political ads? I'm putting this out there-Romney isn't nearly that good or bad, neither is Obama. They're both assholes. You get to figure out which asshole you can deal with. But I'm ending the political talk for the day with this-Romney may be a felon? Or not? What kind of twisted ass logic is that?? Either accuse the man of something and back it up or back off with that nonsense.
Work-my place of employment should hand out weed and a bowl every day we walk in. That is the only way to deal with the bipolar customers. And I know why they are the way they are. We have a shitty sales org that is the equivalent of 'wham, bam, thank you customer'. Gone like a fart in the wind after a sale. And the rest of us are left to do the clean up. Some are thankful, most are not. Oh, and I didn't sign up to be a customer service rep. I'm a credit analyst, dealing mostly with collections. I'm turning into a therapist for some customers-they just want to yell. Yelling at me hasn't worked since I was 9, 27 years later it's only getting more comical.
I need a day off soon-I woke up to the sound of my work phone in my head, after I hit snooze. That can't be a good thing.
At the very least, I get to hang out with my friends and their kids, who keep me laughing and in constant good spirits.
And if you're dating out there in this shitstorm, have a buddy. No, not a fuckbuddy, ya skank. It is an ever loving mess out there. I've got a new story later this week for you-let's just say I got a glimpse into the mind of desperation and briskly walked the other way while giggling.
Who the hell puts the descriptions of match.com together?? Is there some lame ass boiler plate template that dumb people stamp out? Guess what? I love my family and friends, too. I'd love to sit here and lie and say I like, hiking, biking, camping and traveling-but I have a job and have bills to pay. Who over the age of 30 gets to have the life of a constant student on spring break? Grow up and get real.
Oh, and that whole, "I just want someone who is easy going and carefree"? I'm calling bullshit. Case in point-if you're out with this guy and some asshole is out of line, that is not the time for carefree. That's time for a gentleman, a real dude, to stand up and tell the asshole his company isn't welcome around you, his female companion for this evening. If done tactfully, it'll be cool. But carefree and easy going? Nah, that dude gets trampled on in the beginning and end of every story. Character counts.
Anyone else tired of political ads? I'm putting this out there-Romney isn't nearly that good or bad, neither is Obama. They're both assholes. You get to figure out which asshole you can deal with. But I'm ending the political talk for the day with this-Romney may be a felon? Or not? What kind of twisted ass logic is that?? Either accuse the man of something and back it up or back off with that nonsense.
Work-my place of employment should hand out weed and a bowl every day we walk in. That is the only way to deal with the bipolar customers. And I know why they are the way they are. We have a shitty sales org that is the equivalent of 'wham, bam, thank you customer'. Gone like a fart in the wind after a sale. And the rest of us are left to do the clean up. Some are thankful, most are not. Oh, and I didn't sign up to be a customer service rep. I'm a credit analyst, dealing mostly with collections. I'm turning into a therapist for some customers-they just want to yell. Yelling at me hasn't worked since I was 9, 27 years later it's only getting more comical.
I need a day off soon-I woke up to the sound of my work phone in my head, after I hit snooze. That can't be a good thing.
At the very least, I get to hang out with my friends and their kids, who keep me laughing and in constant good spirits.
And if you're dating out there in this shitstorm, have a buddy. No, not a fuckbuddy, ya skank. It is an ever loving mess out there. I've got a new story later this week for you-let's just say I got a glimpse into the mind of desperation and briskly walked the other way while giggling.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
You can't go home again....
....but it sure is nice to visit!
Everything in your life can be looked at thru the prism of hindsight. I decided to let my trip back to New England marinate for a lil' while before deciding to write about it. Funny how things work out. Things to look for in this long drawn out blog:
The Trip
Some Links/commentary
Gay Marriage and why I'm tired
The Anti-Anti-Kat Rant
Father's Day
Saw my Auntie and Uncle and talked about the family, I needed to catch up on things. Nothing's changed-my GramGram has become bitter and nasty, mostly from Aunt Skeletor taking over her house and just being a nasty human. I'm a firm believer that God don't like ugly, and she's all sorts of ugly.
Saw my boy G$ that night, too. He came down to see me and catch up. Dude looks different, in a great way. Been dating some woman for like 10 months, and he's happy. Couldn't happen to a better guy. He's got his crap together and things have fallen into a great place for him.
I'll also state, for the record, that the stories of this woman's failed courtships made me giggle. Not at her expense, but in that warped way that makes anyone think, "Well shit, if this is what's going on out there, I'm a damn catch." Who shows their bank account on a first/only date with a woman? Who talks about abortion on the casual conversation front? Who talks about marriage and what your kids would look like?
Seriously? Fellas, you're giving my place of origin a horrible rep. At the same time, I can't thank any of them enough. I may not be rich, tall, skinny or have any hair on my head, but I'm more than alright. This ain't a competition, but if it were, the dating point spread would be me giving up almost 2 touchdowns. Wow. G'head and ask me how many times I've ever discussed any of that stuff on a date? Not never. That's how many times. I don't even talk about that crap in casual conversation. Ladies of Boston, if that's what's out there, find a scissor sister. It's cool, I don't blame you.
Now, the booze cruise itself was relatively uneventful, most of anything funny happened during boarding of the boat or right at the end. Before boarding the boat, I was treated to the hot mess who didn't want to wear too many bracelets. Apparently they clashed with her atrocious outfit and raccoon eyes. "I gotta wear another freakin' bracelet?" Yes troll, you do, especially if you want to drink.
When I notice that every thunder-thighed woman kept yanking down their skirt or shorts, I knew I'd have material for days. But I had to ask aloud, "what's with all the hoochies?" To which I was reminded 'did you forget where you are?" Yup, for a minute, I did.
Now, one eventful thing that did happen was 'The Cooler'. This guy is in the pantheon, forever and ever. He saw my friend and wouldn't let go. There has to be a scale for you ladies for the dude that keeps coming around that y'all have no interest in. My friend was relatively polite, but dude would not take that hint. Not the first time, nor the 8th time. It became painful when you saw this guy come around. Mostly because talking to potting soil would be a better time. Yikes, guy. Find some game. Better yet, find someone who's interested in listening to you drone on and on about who knows what. My tune-out button was set for 4 seconds on that guy, probably about 2 seconds longer than it needed to be.
Good to meet my friends' friends, too. I'd call her friend Lauren a hot mess, but she's not all that hot and I'd have to stress mess more than anything. From the stories I got, I think those ladies have more patience than I'd ever show. Be promiscuous, that's cool. But leaving your crap at a bar and hopping around with random strangers? Not a bright move. Her friend Jenny? Sweetheart of a girl. And I agree with my friend, ditch the dude with the old balls. Not because their old. Because they aren't really ever going to commit to her. Sorry, I'm a guy, but I'm also way smarter than I was 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago. That old balls dude has her on the hook for one reason-he remotely shows attention. I hate to sound crass or cold, but pass along this info to your friend, "you're better than that". Easy to say, not easy to adhere to, and even worse-if you're on the hook for someone (HIMYM reference) you're not hearing this message.
After the booze cruise got to witness my friend become more east coast than me. She was stern with a cabbie. It was kinda awesome.
But, back to my Auntie's house because I had found out while pulling into the dock that my uncle was in the hospital for an intestinal blockage (he's fine now, no surgery, but scary for a minute). Said my good-bye's to my friend (we're even friends on facebook again) and the pooch, and off to bed I went.
As for the tourney, great to see my friends, it was a nice day and we laughed a lot. I miss those guys, but I also know that we'll be friends forever. My 'place' will always be there.
My brother (sigh) showed up towards the end of the tourney, as he had a date with Johnny Law. I'm not even getting into that one.
After the tourney folks went their separate ways and I went to Ma Dukes with my brother. Ma Dukes is about 5 plastic totes away from me calling the producers of 'Hoarders'. But, we talked (stress on the talking, no yelling) about Ma moving out to Denver. And why she has so much crap. It's all a security thing. She's afraid of losing everything. And she's in no danger of it. The brain does some weird shit to all of us.
And at night? Chinese food with Ma and baby bro. PuPu Platters are so underrated. And I can't get anything close in Denver. Just a ton of laughs and a good time. Of course my brother took the leftovers.
If it weren't for the guy falling on the airplane 45 minutes before landing, would've been a drama free flight. Guy thought the curtain to the galley was a wall...whoops. He was more embarrassed. Yes, I helped him up. But the other people watching? They're exactly what's wrong out there in the world.
I told a joke to my boy Siggy months ago that I thought Steve Jobs would be in hell, he got a little bent. Well, here's where I was going with it. Just remember, my first corporate job was for someone who took giant swings at Golaith (MSFT).
Yup, the title says it all-'Race Matters...To Racists'. Just a friendly reminder, you need a photo ID to vote in a union election, but not in an election for President? That seems weird, right?
Having seen more racism than I care to admit (hey, I'm from New England, where marginalizing someone by backhanded compliment is like breathing) I'm always wondering why when someone who isn't from Caucasia thinks something other than a so-called majority gets treated worse than an original sinner.
I'm putting this out there-so, CNN knew that they'd get ratings when they asked Kirk Cameron his thoughts on Gay Marriage, and maybe even when they tried to punk The Donald. But there was a PRIME chance to ask Will Smith what he thought about Gay Marriage while he was on Letterman to promote MIB 3 after he slapped some Russian TV personality for trying to kiss him. Homophobic much, Fresh Prince? Why didn't he get asked by anyone? Wouldn't he seem more pertinent to the discussion than someone who hasn't been important since Alan Thicke played his Dad? Mike Seaver's best friend was named 'Boner' for crying out loud.
POTUS-I said last Friday before the booze cruise that I hate him. I do. I figured out exactly what it is about him, though. It's his smug demeanor. He's so smart. The same guy that said back in 2008 that something was 'above his paygrade' is now smarter than everyone. Case in point? His 'evolved' answer on gay marriage. Dude, go fuck yourself. By using that word, evolve, instead of anything else, it proves to me, again, that he's better than the rest of us. Had he said, "you know what, I sat back and thought about it, and I've changed my mind. What I thought before wasn't thought out. It was what I thought a certain base of mine wanted to hear. It was wrong". I would respect that. But that word, evolve, sticks in my craw. It reeks of 'better than' and screams to me that we are all simple in comparison.
Funny Pops story-a couple of weeks ago I was going thru my match.com 'matches' (another story for another time) and I swear he was sitting next to me. I heard him. I'm reading some woman's profile and I swear he said, "Another friggin' rock-climber? Jesus H. Christ, good luck kid". I laughed so hard I cried. I told you, he's not far away.
2 years ago while I wasn't working and doubting everything about me I wondered if he would be proud of me. Yes, it was a driving force. Then I remembered, he told me right after I moved out to Denver to live my life for me, and if I did that I'd be good. Well Pops, it's all good. Miss ya tons, but you knew that already.
And again, to all those Dad's holding it down, teaching their sons to be men and their daughters to be ladies, I salute you. It ain't an easy job, but they'll thank you for the boot in the ass later, I assure you.
Listening to: New Edition 'Boys to Men'
Everything in your life can be looked at thru the prism of hindsight. I decided to let my trip back to New England marinate for a lil' while before deciding to write about it. Funny how things work out. Things to look for in this long drawn out blog:
The Trip
Some Links/commentary
Gay Marriage and why I'm tired
The Anti-Anti-Kat Rant
Father's Day
The Trip
After landing at Logan airport, I walked out to the bus stop that would take me to Woburn, as I was crashing at my Auntie's place for the first few days. I was welcomed to a little rain and some humidity. For serious, you cannot prep yourself for humidity if you haven't been near it in a year. The sun broke thru the clouds and I thought, very briefly, that "I could live back here", until we turned to the highway/parking lot that is 93. My next thought? "Fuck That!" Sorry, I forgot that y'all live on top of one another back there. I forgot that the traffic is beyond atrocious. And this was at 3 on a Thursday. Granted, Game 6 of theNBA Eastern Conference finals was going on at 8:30 and the Red Sox were in town, but DAMN folks. I also had the joy of sitting on the bus behind a couple that was clearly about to fight. And by the time we were dropped off of the Logan Express at Woburn, a brawl was in full effect. Nothing like people who claim to love each other saying things that would make a sailor blush. Ah, feels like home.Saw my Auntie and Uncle and talked about the family, I needed to catch up on things. Nothing's changed-my GramGram has become bitter and nasty, mostly from Aunt Skeletor taking over her house and just being a nasty human. I'm a firm believer that God don't like ugly, and she's all sorts of ugly.
Saw my boy G$ that night, too. He came down to see me and catch up. Dude looks different, in a great way. Been dating some woman for like 10 months, and he's happy. Couldn't happen to a better guy. He's got his crap together and things have fallen into a great place for him.
Friday
Booze Cruise day. Also, reconnecting with someone from my past. Now, before anyone goes freaking out on me, I'll just tell y'all to clam up. Ain't nothing going on. No intimate feelings, no "I <3 her", nothing of the sort. She's a cool woman, and any feelings I had in the past, no matter how ridiculous, are long gone. Heck, while waiting for her to pick me up I started writing comedy stuff up. Just writing, nothing pointed or narrowed down, just writing. You never know where your head will go...except mine went tired. I reviewed some of the other stuff I had written in the past-some good, some gawdawful. I almost felt like I had to be 'on', as I found out I'd be hanging with her and two of her alumni peeps. Then I thought, "who cares?" I was going to have fun, there's not a ounce of a chance for romance, so relax and be yourself. It was great to see her, see her pooch, and then we went to grab a bite to eat. Other than the giant ass on the woman who sat next to us at the bar (seriously, no need to swing them big 'ol hips in my face like that unless you've got a g-string on and I got dollar bills in my hand-DAMN), good conversation. Nice to catch up on things. Even better was sharing sayings. I learned all about being "Bro'd" and I got to share 'Explain Ya Outfit'. Also learned I got Bro'd. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have looked at all my comedy writing, at times I felt forced. Being Bro'd, by the way, is another way of stating you've been crammed into the friendzone.I'll also state, for the record, that the stories of this woman's failed courtships made me giggle. Not at her expense, but in that warped way that makes anyone think, "Well shit, if this is what's going on out there, I'm a damn catch." Who shows their bank account on a first/only date with a woman? Who talks about abortion on the casual conversation front? Who talks about marriage and what your kids would look like?
Seriously? Fellas, you're giving my place of origin a horrible rep. At the same time, I can't thank any of them enough. I may not be rich, tall, skinny or have any hair on my head, but I'm more than alright. This ain't a competition, but if it were, the dating point spread would be me giving up almost 2 touchdowns. Wow. G'head and ask me how many times I've ever discussed any of that stuff on a date? Not never. That's how many times. I don't even talk about that crap in casual conversation. Ladies of Boston, if that's what's out there, find a scissor sister. It's cool, I don't blame you.
Now, the booze cruise itself was relatively uneventful, most of anything funny happened during boarding of the boat or right at the end. Before boarding the boat, I was treated to the hot mess who didn't want to wear too many bracelets. Apparently they clashed with her atrocious outfit and raccoon eyes. "I gotta wear another freakin' bracelet?" Yes troll, you do, especially if you want to drink.
When I notice that every thunder-thighed woman kept yanking down their skirt or shorts, I knew I'd have material for days. But I had to ask aloud, "what's with all the hoochies?" To which I was reminded 'did you forget where you are?" Yup, for a minute, I did.
Now, one eventful thing that did happen was 'The Cooler'. This guy is in the pantheon, forever and ever. He saw my friend and wouldn't let go. There has to be a scale for you ladies for the dude that keeps coming around that y'all have no interest in. My friend was relatively polite, but dude would not take that hint. Not the first time, nor the 8th time. It became painful when you saw this guy come around. Mostly because talking to potting soil would be a better time. Yikes, guy. Find some game. Better yet, find someone who's interested in listening to you drone on and on about who knows what. My tune-out button was set for 4 seconds on that guy, probably about 2 seconds longer than it needed to be.
Good to meet my friends' friends, too. I'd call her friend Lauren a hot mess, but she's not all that hot and I'd have to stress mess more than anything. From the stories I got, I think those ladies have more patience than I'd ever show. Be promiscuous, that's cool. But leaving your crap at a bar and hopping around with random strangers? Not a bright move. Her friend Jenny? Sweetheart of a girl. And I agree with my friend, ditch the dude with the old balls. Not because their old. Because they aren't really ever going to commit to her. Sorry, I'm a guy, but I'm also way smarter than I was 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago. That old balls dude has her on the hook for one reason-he remotely shows attention. I hate to sound crass or cold, but pass along this info to your friend, "you're better than that". Easy to say, not easy to adhere to, and even worse-if you're on the hook for someone (HIMYM reference) you're not hearing this message.
After the booze cruise got to witness my friend become more east coast than me. She was stern with a cabbie. It was kinda awesome.
But, back to my Auntie's house because I had found out while pulling into the dock that my uncle was in the hospital for an intestinal blockage (he's fine now, no surgery, but scary for a minute). Said my good-bye's to my friend (we're even friends on facebook again) and the pooch, and off to bed I went.
Saturday
Well, due to Game 7 being on, my plans to see my cousin's band and a few friends in Lowell crapped out. But have no fear, I got to see my Godson. Kid is supercute, tiny and a ball of energy. Well, after a few minutes of waking up from a 4 hour nap. He's talking and running around. Just a really good time to see him, play with him and catch up with his parents. Other than borrowing my Auntie's Jeep and not going over 49 MPH on 93 and 495, good times. By the way, you ever want to find out how slow life can be, drive along a major highway not hitting 50 due to a new seal on the oil pan.Sunday
Saw Ma Dukes for the 1st time of the trip, and decided to surprise my GramGram for lunch/brunch. Only one minor drawback....Aunt Skeletor. What a raging bitch. 4 times in 5 minutes she said, "would have been nice to get a warning". Ma Dukes wanted to whoop her sister's ass. I wanted to scream, "bitch it ain't about you". But let that go to get to eat and catch up with my GramGram. I miss the woman she used to be. Living with Aunt Skeletor has made her mean and bitter. Facing sad facts, she's a hater to the nth degree. Makes me sad. Also made me think that she might have Stockholm Syndrome. My brain works differently, some folks just don't want to see certain miracles that are all around us. My great-aunt taking care of her grand-daughter after all sorts of family drama isn't something to mock, it ought to be celebrated. Then again, that's just this man's opinion.Monday-Tourney Time!
Well, let's get the sad part out of the way-this may be the last tourney for Pops....we only had 24 golfers. That said, I'm so happy and proud that we've been able to put this on for 4 years. I know the old man's friends miss him, heck, maybe even more than I do. I've got a better memory :)As for the tourney, great to see my friends, it was a nice day and we laughed a lot. I miss those guys, but I also know that we'll be friends forever. My 'place' will always be there.
My brother (sigh) showed up towards the end of the tourney, as he had a date with Johnny Law. I'm not even getting into that one.
After the tourney folks went their separate ways and I went to Ma Dukes with my brother. Ma Dukes is about 5 plastic totes away from me calling the producers of 'Hoarders'. But, we talked (stress on the talking, no yelling) about Ma moving out to Denver. And why she has so much crap. It's all a security thing. She's afraid of losing everything. And she's in no danger of it. The brain does some weird shit to all of us.
Tuesday-Maine
Ogunquit. Maine. Lobster Roll. Long Trail Belgian White. On a patio to watch the boats come in an out of the 'bay'. With Ma Dukes on her day off. Perfect. Really. Just a great time. Of course Ma had to talk to me about my brother, my life, where I'm headed, etc. She's good now. There's no bullshittin' her. But she also knows that this is some damn fine space I'm in lately. Some things seemed to have slowed down and my reflections and actions are on point.And at night? Chinese food with Ma and baby bro. PuPu Platters are so underrated. And I can't get anything close in Denver. Just a ton of laughs and a good time. Of course my brother took the leftovers.
Wednesday-Outta here
up at 5...well, up at 4 from a computerized call from United to tell me my flight was delayed due to a lack of a crew. Great, a plane but no one to fly it?? Either way, my bus ticket was already purchased. Hugged Ma Dukes real tight, I love her and miss her already. So, off to Logan I went. One last Dunkin' Donuts coffee. One last donut. One last listen to people be in a hurry to go nowhere.If it weren't for the guy falling on the airplane 45 minutes before landing, would've been a drama free flight. Guy thought the curtain to the galley was a wall...whoops. He was more embarrassed. Yes, I helped him up. But the other people watching? They're exactly what's wrong out there in the world.
Links/Commentary
I wanted to be mad after reading this about oil shale and government funding, but I have to agree, I don't want the government picking winners and losers in business.I told a joke to my boy Siggy months ago that I thought Steve Jobs would be in hell, he got a little bent. Well, here's where I was going with it. Just remember, my first corporate job was for someone who took giant swings at Golaith (MSFT).
Yup, the title says it all-'Race Matters...To Racists'. Just a friendly reminder, you need a photo ID to vote in a union election, but not in an election for President? That seems weird, right?
Having seen more racism than I care to admit (hey, I'm from New England, where marginalizing someone by backhanded compliment is like breathing) I'm always wondering why when someone who isn't from Caucasia thinks something other than a so-called majority gets treated worse than an original sinner.
I'm putting this out there-so, CNN knew that they'd get ratings when they asked Kirk Cameron his thoughts on Gay Marriage, and maybe even when they tried to punk The Donald. But there was a PRIME chance to ask Will Smith what he thought about Gay Marriage while he was on Letterman to promote MIB 3 after he slapped some Russian TV personality for trying to kiss him. Homophobic much, Fresh Prince? Why didn't he get asked by anyone? Wouldn't he seem more pertinent to the discussion than someone who hasn't been important since Alan Thicke played his Dad? Mike Seaver's best friend was named 'Boner' for crying out loud.
POTUS-I said last Friday before the booze cruise that I hate him. I do. I figured out exactly what it is about him, though. It's his smug demeanor. He's so smart. The same guy that said back in 2008 that something was 'above his paygrade' is now smarter than everyone. Case in point? His 'evolved' answer on gay marriage. Dude, go fuck yourself. By using that word, evolve, instead of anything else, it proves to me, again, that he's better than the rest of us. Had he said, "you know what, I sat back and thought about it, and I've changed my mind. What I thought before wasn't thought out. It was what I thought a certain base of mine wanted to hear. It was wrong". I would respect that. But that word, evolve, sticks in my craw. It reeks of 'better than' and screams to me that we are all simple in comparison.
Gay Marriage
I'm tired of listening to this shit all the livelong day. I'm tired of the extremists-on both sides. After watching Dennis Miller's 'The Big Speech', I'm in agreement with the statement that this is about the 8,000,000,042nd thing I care about. But I do care about how we as a people get there. Hear me out: we need some folks closer to center to talk to the fringe-hell, let's bring some of the bat guano folks' ideas to the table. I just don't want a judge to tell all of us that gay marriage should happen. And I'm tired of the Pink Mafia begging us to put it to a vote and then finding the agenda-driven judge to throw out the results when they don't get their way. The Rules of Engagement (in my mind) are as follows:- For all intents and purposes, there are plenty of folks that believe marriage is a Sacrament. I personally grew up this way. I'm listening, but quit calling me a bigot. Name-calling gets you nowhere with me on the fastest of tracks.
- Gay people-straight people: for the sake of the wackos on the far right, can we all agree that you will never condone the marriage of a person to an animal? Oh, this goes to the far left, too. I've been on the blind date where the woman calls a pet their kid. No, it's not. Stop this. Now.
- If you're going to keep calling people bigot, breeder and other hate-filled names, I'm going to bring back the following: queer, gay, fag, and faggot. There is nothing wrong with those words. Enough with the 'words hurt' crap. You want to be as miserable as the straight folks who end their marriage half the time, you have to accept certain things. I've had to accept shitty television and music, this is your penance. Deal with it.
- If you found someone to love you for who you are, congrats. However, you cannot force anyone at a church or place of worship to perform the ceremony. Quit bagging on Catholics, they fuck themselves up enough without the help. You want to show me you're serious? Fine, force your way into a mosque that practices Islam and we'll see what happens. I will back your right to marry, but not you wanting to force a priest, pastor, rabbi or imam to witness the pronouncement of your love.
- While I don't think any government should have anything to do with marriage, I see where folks are coming from. If Tom marries Greg, they should have spousal rights. Like hospital visitation, life insurance and the like. I'm onboard.
The Anti-Anti-Kat Rant
So while I haven't written anything in 4 months, I was told by someone that they were afraid to read my stuff anymore because they thought it would be an avenue to bash them. That was never my intention. Ever. So I'm going to do my best to set the record straight. Hopefully she reads this (weird, another list):- I never hated you
- Ma Dukes doesn't hate you
- My friends don't hate you
- really, they don't
- if they were to meet you, they'd ask you 'why not him?'...maybe the language would be colorful, but that would be the crux of it
- if someone has to convince you like a trial lawyer that they should be your top choice, it'll never ever work.
- you were right, you're just a girl. A woman I fell for, hard. Sorry that I suck at verbalizing my thoughts and feelings. What can I say, I'm working on it
- When I said over dinner I've loved 4 women and each one took longer to get over than the last, the 4th one? Yeah, that was you.
- Again, sorry if I got weird. Sometimes the step back and away truly is the best move.
- I ain't asking to get "unBro'd". If you ever want to go down that road, you'll have to smack me over the head with a 2x4 to get my attention.
- I'm an idiot when it comes to women
- That stuff that I wrote and the mixed CDs? Yeah, I meant them.
- I still think you're a phenomenal lady
- But I will not pursue you romantically.
- We cool? I hope so.
Father's Day
In light that today is Father's Day, I'm sure some may think I'm not doing so hot. On the contrary, I'm doing great. While I will always miss Pops, he's not far away.Funny Pops story-a couple of weeks ago I was going thru my match.com 'matches' (another story for another time) and I swear he was sitting next to me. I heard him. I'm reading some woman's profile and I swear he said, "Another friggin' rock-climber? Jesus H. Christ, good luck kid". I laughed so hard I cried. I told you, he's not far away.
2 years ago while I wasn't working and doubting everything about me I wondered if he would be proud of me. Yes, it was a driving force. Then I remembered, he told me right after I moved out to Denver to live my life for me, and if I did that I'd be good. Well Pops, it's all good. Miss ya tons, but you knew that already.
And again, to all those Dad's holding it down, teaching their sons to be men and their daughters to be ladies, I salute you. It ain't an easy job, but they'll thank you for the boot in the ass later, I assure you.
Listening to: New Edition 'Boys to Men'
Monday, May 28, 2012
This is weird
Okay, so it's been a lo-oooooooooooooooooooong time since I posted anything and now blogger.com has a new fancy-schmancy way of doing things.
I'm not going to go over what I've been doing or why I haven't been posting, but I will state the following (since I've been asked)-No, I do not nor have I had a girlfriend since my last posting. I have attempted and flopped a few times along the way at this dating thing. But hey, at least I'm trying. No, I did not start up a career in stand up comedy, either. I'm close to getting on stage, just haven't had my 'Fuck it' moment when I decide to damn the man and just get on with it. The internal fear of failure is the only thing holding me back. At the very least, I am writing down ideas that can be expanded upon. The main reason I haven't written anything in months is that quite honestly I sit in front of a computer for almost 9 hours a day staring at spreadsheets, credit reports and emails, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is read more crap and then type it up. Yup, I'm lazy. Plain and simple.
All the things below are just links. I needed to clean out some web-browsing history, so here goes-read them if you want, no one's making you:
Why I hate the media-they put words into people's mouths, and even when caught rarely apologize. Well, if they do apologize, it's never above the fold:
http://townhall.com/columnists/michellemalkin/2012/05/18/how_the_gaymarriage_mob_slimed_manny_pacquiao
Ah, bullies...and politics. Funny how they could be one and the same:
http://townhall.com/columnists/kevinmccullough/2012/05/27/the_bully_administration
Just curious on the above link-if you have a daughter and a man walks into the bathroom after your daughter does, are you worried about if that man feels like a woman? Didn't think so.
Yup, just another day in the Hypocrisy Dept.:
http://townhall.com/columnists/michaelbrown/2012/05/18/separation_of_church_and_state_misinformation_and_hypocrisy
Did you hear about the mayor who went to Stanford, Oxford and Yale and then said that an ad campaign 'nauseated' him? Free thought will do that from time to time:
http://www.wnd.com/2012/05/smart-blacks-defend-capitalism/
In light of all the lame political ads that have already started up (like, a month ago...UGH), I'm forced to ask the question-what does anyone go into business for? Why do any of us go to work? Isn't it to make money? Yes, provide for our families, help our communities, etc. But none of that happens if no one earns anything, does it?
I'm staying away from the Trayvon Martin and gay marriage subjects at this time. I'll formulate my postings and get back to you on those. All I can say is 'Wow'. The Retarded Right and the Looney Left do make for an odd couple, though, don't they. You're both wrong, and those of us closer to the middle are left shaking our heads.
I will ask, what about Allen Coon?:
http://www.wnd.com/2012/04/if-obama-had-son-hed-look-like-shawn-tyson/
Last thing on politics-While I loathe the 'but Bush was worse routine'-seriously, it's been almost 4 years, get over it and move on, folks...I do love that there is a cheat sheet for me to stare at:
http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2012/apr/24/your-obama-reelection-cheat-sheet/
Sports
Yeah, I may have to watch that documentary on the death of the Seattle SuperSonics:
http://deadspin.com/5907371/howard-schultz-gave-out-350-starbucks-gift-cards-an-insiders-notes-on-the-shabby-death-of-the-seattle-supersonics
And if I were ever an athlete, I'd like to think that for a brief moment this would be an awesome way to leave the game I love:
http://deadspin.com/5911585/heres-kerry-woods-emotional-exit-from-baseballafter-throwing-one-final-strikeout
Lastly, it's Memorial Day. To those that are serving, have served and their families, I give my heartfelt thanks. Their service provides the cover with which any moron can spout off ridiculous rhetoric. Yup, I include myself in that mix.
I'm not going to go over what I've been doing or why I haven't been posting, but I will state the following (since I've been asked)-No, I do not nor have I had a girlfriend since my last posting. I have attempted and flopped a few times along the way at this dating thing. But hey, at least I'm trying. No, I did not start up a career in stand up comedy, either. I'm close to getting on stage, just haven't had my 'Fuck it' moment when I decide to damn the man and just get on with it. The internal fear of failure is the only thing holding me back. At the very least, I am writing down ideas that can be expanded upon. The main reason I haven't written anything in months is that quite honestly I sit in front of a computer for almost 9 hours a day staring at spreadsheets, credit reports and emails, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is read more crap and then type it up. Yup, I'm lazy. Plain and simple.
All the things below are just links. I needed to clean out some web-browsing history, so here goes-read them if you want, no one's making you:
Why I hate the media-they put words into people's mouths, and even when caught rarely apologize. Well, if they do apologize, it's never above the fold:
http://townhall.com/columnists/michellemalkin/2012/05/18/how_the_gaymarriage_mob_slimed_manny_pacquiao
Ah, bullies...and politics. Funny how they could be one and the same:
http://townhall.com/columnists/kevinmccullough/2012/05/27/the_bully_administration
Just curious on the above link-if you have a daughter and a man walks into the bathroom after your daughter does, are you worried about if that man feels like a woman? Didn't think so.
Yup, just another day in the Hypocrisy Dept.:
http://townhall.com/columnists/michaelbrown/2012/05/18/separation_of_church_and_state_misinformation_and_hypocrisy
Did you hear about the mayor who went to Stanford, Oxford and Yale and then said that an ad campaign 'nauseated' him? Free thought will do that from time to time:
http://www.wnd.com/2012/05/smart-blacks-defend-capitalism/
In light of all the lame political ads that have already started up (like, a month ago...UGH), I'm forced to ask the question-what does anyone go into business for? Why do any of us go to work? Isn't it to make money? Yes, provide for our families, help our communities, etc. But none of that happens if no one earns anything, does it?
I'm staying away from the Trayvon Martin and gay marriage subjects at this time. I'll formulate my postings and get back to you on those. All I can say is 'Wow'. The Retarded Right and the Looney Left do make for an odd couple, though, don't they. You're both wrong, and those of us closer to the middle are left shaking our heads.
I will ask, what about Allen Coon?:
http://www.wnd.com/2012/04/if-obama-had-son-hed-look-like-shawn-tyson/
Last thing on politics-While I loathe the 'but Bush was worse routine'-seriously, it's been almost 4 years, get over it and move on, folks...I do love that there is a cheat sheet for me to stare at:
http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2012/apr/24/your-obama-reelection-cheat-sheet/
Sports
Yeah, I may have to watch that documentary on the death of the Seattle SuperSonics:
http://deadspin.com/5907371/howard-schultz-gave-out-350-starbucks-gift-cards-an-insiders-notes-on-the-shabby-death-of-the-seattle-supersonics
And if I were ever an athlete, I'd like to think that for a brief moment this would be an awesome way to leave the game I love:
http://deadspin.com/5911585/heres-kerry-woods-emotional-exit-from-baseballafter-throwing-one-final-strikeout
Lastly, it's Memorial Day. To those that are serving, have served and their families, I give my heartfelt thanks. Their service provides the cover with which any moron can spout off ridiculous rhetoric. Yup, I include myself in that mix.
Monday, February 20, 2012
a whole lot to clean up
alright y'all, there's a lot to go over and not a lot of time before I have to head off to bed.
After battling a cold/flu/something nasty for a couple of weeks, I feel better, but know that I need to get more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. Worry about what you can control, and let everything else fall by the wayside. This is going in 5 sections: political crap, jobs, family, and work. As always, you don't have to agree with my opinion, as these things are just put out there as a point of view to make you think. Oh, and if you scream 'tolerance' at every turn and then call me an idiot, you're a hypocrite....just sayin'
Political Crap
The backlash to the Susan G. Komen stuff still bugs me. I still don't get it. So, if a charity doesn't want to donate any $ to a cause (Planned Parenthood) that was founded on the basis of wiping out a race, why do some care so much? The shrills were a bit much. I just love the jump. So you don't want to support an organization that is under federal investigation, and that equals you hate women? Wait, what?? That's quite the jump, but maybe it's me.
Well, I guess that's better than the cause that keeps telling us that girls are like boys. Hint: no, they're not. Instead of forcing genders to be alike, which they aren't, why not celebrate the differences? While we're at it, after reading this, I want to patent a little boys kitchen set.
I heard this the other night, and I think it's correct-if gas goes above $5/gallon, it won't matter who promises what. We are not Europe, hell, we're not even Canada. If the average price of gas goes above $5/gallon, there will be a new person in DC next January. I have a friend who is a 'died-in-the-wool' Democrat, and while he tried to egg me on 1 day a few years ago, he said something extremely intelligent and true, "People vote with their wallet." Yup, that's how most of us do vote. I would love to do the pie in the sky analysis, but bottom line, things cost money. And we, all of us, get tired of hearing people blame others. I called this the 'Year of Accountability', and I for one am very exhausted listening to certain folks blame the past. We get it, it sucked, now can you pack that shit up and fix it like you promised? How about not fucking it up even worse? Nope to both? Then you gots to go.
Well, it's Black History Month, and while it's great to see Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech, there is so much more to celebrate. One of the things I love to celebrate is Bill Cosby telling folks to grow up. And then, over in the corner, you have some old white bigot who just patronizes a whole race of people. See, don't ever believe that everyone wants the black man off the plantation. I like it even more when you can see someone tie some of the bullshit a whole race of people are led to believe is complete bunk. Better than that? When the same man, Mychal Massie, points out the haters and why they hate. "Haters make the world go 'round. If you don't have anyone hating on you, then you're not doing it right"-Katt Williams
Jobs
a quick update on me-I turned down an offer, as it wasn't the right fit nor the right money for me. I can't afford to take a paycut on some ideal that I can wallop a commission number. That's not how I work anymore. Sorry, but I'm 36. And I currently have a job, where per my annual review last week, they love me. Great, add this to the list of roles I'm good at but wish I weren't. Whodathunk I'd be good at collections? At least this gig comes with benefits. I also didn't get another role I interviewed for, they went with a competitor who was known, but they were impressed with my interview and don't believe I'll be hurting anytime soon. When will then be now? Soon, I hope. I had an interview with a 3rd company, but it took about 10 minutes for us both to realize that I wasn't the candidate for the role-I'm not senior management/director level, at least not yet. I hope one day the potential is there. But not right now. I still have some things to work on before I get there. The journey is what I'm teaching myself to enjoy.
Now, I've strived to press upon you, dear reader, not to believe the government when they come out with their unemployment numbers-they are complete garbage. There are quite a few people out there whom have exhausted their benefits, and there is little hope for them. If I knew them, I'd help. Considering what my friends and network did for me, it's the only right thing to do. When the CEO of Starbucks tells people to simmer down regarding that bogus 8.3%, we should listen. We are dangerously close to having Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to unemployment. Worse, there are those who are filing for disability once those unemployment benefits expire or even before (yes, this takes them off the books for the unemployed roster), but the bigger issue is that nothing is really being done. First, this takes away from those that really are disabled. Second, there are folks out there that are so despondent that they think not having a job is a disability (that's an illness in and of itself).
I look back, I am blessed to have the friends I have, checking up on me and looking out for me. I can't thank y'all enough. I can't imagine feeling lower than I felt, but I now know that without the support group I have, it would have probably gotten worse.
Family
I worry, a lot, about Ma Dukes. I worry that she's so lonely she's going to do something stupid. I worry she might mix her meds up. I worry that she has doctors who are just whacking an insurance pinata. Her and I talk about her moving out here, and I think it would be great for her. The sad part is that it would help get her away from my baby brother. That kid is just selfish (and I'm not even mad). Eventually, you need to learn to accept that some folks are just who they are, they don't desire to be better, to do the right thing. They live to drag you down. I avoid those people. I wish Ma would. I'm sure it's difficult, admitting you raised one good kid and one asshole. I can be an asshole, but that's not my nature around her. Especially the way my brother is. He's not working, again, and has his hand out. Dude is 30. When does that shit stop? I'm 36, and I haven't asked for a dime since about October of 1997, right after I moved out here. It's been on me. My issue is that I don't currently earn enough to help Ma out.
And in all honesty, if I were to go out there and do standup comedy, do I really want to put the pressure on myself that this is the only way I can provide, quite well, for my family? No, it's not. It's like playing from behind, and the failure would crush me.
Work
As I mentioned earlier, my annual review was last week, and they love me. I'm a stud. I work hard. It's nice to be noticed, to be counted on. I have a great boss, fantastic support. Honestly, if they paid what I was worth in this role, I wouldn't be looking, I could even look past the ridiculous processes and mismanagement of resources.
And now for 'The New Hat Trick story'--slight back story, in the last two weeks a lot of desk moving has happened amongst my group. Not me. I had the guy who was cool and calm that sat across from me move and be replaced by a woman whom I thought was a good worker. I thought my boss had an ax to grind, telling me behind the scenes and over beers (we started at the same time, as peers, just an fyi. I don't want his job, never will) that she's full of crap and a shitstarter. Again, I thought he had an ax to grind. Uh, after a week, notsomuch. She doesn't work, doesn't pay attention and doesn't listen. For real, her favorite word might be 'huh?'
Now the story. This past Friday I came into work as I normally do. I went to take my lunch out of my bag, and she asked me what I brought. 'Salad, like always.' I then mentioned that I needed to come up with something to give up for Lent. Yes, I am Catholic and still believe in that part of it. It's helped in the past. I've given up fast food and soda in the past, dropped 25 lbs. Gave up nail-biting a couple years ago, and don't do that anymore. So I look at it like correcting bad behavior. I'd like to give up swearing and cussing, but we all know that won't happen. No need to set myself up for failure. This woman said to me, "why not give up salad, not like it's working". Yeah, read that again.
"I'm not talking to you for today" was my only response.
About 8 hours go by and she decided she'd ask me a question. I told her she needed to apologize before we go any further. And that's when the 2nd part happened...
"What do you think you heard?" Boys and girls, this is straight out of the passive-aggressive handbook, and I was trained in the Art of War of Linguistics by the best. Any of folks reading this that remember Pops know of which I speak. That dude could double-talk anyone. Again, my old man was a car salesman, I know bullshit when I see it, well before I smell it.
I told her what I know I heard, and she told me, "no, I said why don't you give up sex, it's not like you're getting any".
HOW THE HELL IS THAT ANY BETTER???
And now, the capper. After the agreeing to disagree, and having 2 other women I work with start blazing up my Instant Messenger with jabs about digging a bigger hole and asking her to be more rude, this knucklehead decided to send me and IM, "And I thought I was the one that needed to get their hearing checked".
So, for those keeping score at home, I'm:
Fat
Sexless
and Deaf
(great name for a punk band, just sayin')
HAT TRICK! Thanks for the confidence boost, right?
Best part? Her car was in the shop and she had the nerve to ask me if I would drop her off (and the IMs flying from the 2 other ladies I work with being dumbfounded and offended for me). I know, I'm a wuss about many things, but in this case, I shot her a look and told her I had to finish up some work. Now, her and I are no longer FB friends (by her, not by me), and today she was let go. No, not because of this, I said nothing to HR or my superiors. Because she didn't work.
Off to bed, I'm tired.
----------------
Now playing: The Procussions - Wegotta
via FoxyTunes
After battling a cold/flu/something nasty for a couple of weeks, I feel better, but know that I need to get more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. Worry about what you can control, and let everything else fall by the wayside. This is going in 5 sections: political crap, jobs, family, and work. As always, you don't have to agree with my opinion, as these things are just put out there as a point of view to make you think. Oh, and if you scream 'tolerance' at every turn and then call me an idiot, you're a hypocrite....just sayin'
Political Crap
The backlash to the Susan G. Komen stuff still bugs me. I still don't get it. So, if a charity doesn't want to donate any $ to a cause (Planned Parenthood) that was founded on the basis of wiping out a race, why do some care so much? The shrills were a bit much. I just love the jump. So you don't want to support an organization that is under federal investigation, and that equals you hate women? Wait, what?? That's quite the jump, but maybe it's me.
Well, I guess that's better than the cause that keeps telling us that girls are like boys. Hint: no, they're not. Instead of forcing genders to be alike, which they aren't, why not celebrate the differences? While we're at it, after reading this, I want to patent a little boys kitchen set.
I heard this the other night, and I think it's correct-if gas goes above $5/gallon, it won't matter who promises what. We are not Europe, hell, we're not even Canada. If the average price of gas goes above $5/gallon, there will be a new person in DC next January. I have a friend who is a 'died-in-the-wool' Democrat, and while he tried to egg me on 1 day a few years ago, he said something extremely intelligent and true, "People vote with their wallet." Yup, that's how most of us do vote. I would love to do the pie in the sky analysis, but bottom line, things cost money. And we, all of us, get tired of hearing people blame others. I called this the 'Year of Accountability', and I for one am very exhausted listening to certain folks blame the past. We get it, it sucked, now can you pack that shit up and fix it like you promised? How about not fucking it up even worse? Nope to both? Then you gots to go.
Well, it's Black History Month, and while it's great to see Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech, there is so much more to celebrate. One of the things I love to celebrate is Bill Cosby telling folks to grow up. And then, over in the corner, you have some old white bigot who just patronizes a whole race of people. See, don't ever believe that everyone wants the black man off the plantation. I like it even more when you can see someone tie some of the bullshit a whole race of people are led to believe is complete bunk. Better than that? When the same man, Mychal Massie, points out the haters and why they hate. "Haters make the world go 'round. If you don't have anyone hating on you, then you're not doing it right"-Katt Williams
Jobs
a quick update on me-I turned down an offer, as it wasn't the right fit nor the right money for me. I can't afford to take a paycut on some ideal that I can wallop a commission number. That's not how I work anymore. Sorry, but I'm 36. And I currently have a job, where per my annual review last week, they love me. Great, add this to the list of roles I'm good at but wish I weren't. Whodathunk I'd be good at collections? At least this gig comes with benefits. I also didn't get another role I interviewed for, they went with a competitor who was known, but they were impressed with my interview and don't believe I'll be hurting anytime soon. When will then be now? Soon, I hope. I had an interview with a 3rd company, but it took about 10 minutes for us both to realize that I wasn't the candidate for the role-I'm not senior management/director level, at least not yet. I hope one day the potential is there. But not right now. I still have some things to work on before I get there. The journey is what I'm teaching myself to enjoy.
Now, I've strived to press upon you, dear reader, not to believe the government when they come out with their unemployment numbers-they are complete garbage. There are quite a few people out there whom have exhausted their benefits, and there is little hope for them. If I knew them, I'd help. Considering what my friends and network did for me, it's the only right thing to do. When the CEO of Starbucks tells people to simmer down regarding that bogus 8.3%, we should listen. We are dangerously close to having Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to unemployment. Worse, there are those who are filing for disability once those unemployment benefits expire or even before (yes, this takes them off the books for the unemployed roster), but the bigger issue is that nothing is really being done. First, this takes away from those that really are disabled. Second, there are folks out there that are so despondent that they think not having a job is a disability (that's an illness in and of itself).
I look back, I am blessed to have the friends I have, checking up on me and looking out for me. I can't thank y'all enough. I can't imagine feeling lower than I felt, but I now know that without the support group I have, it would have probably gotten worse.
Family
I worry, a lot, about Ma Dukes. I worry that she's so lonely she's going to do something stupid. I worry she might mix her meds up. I worry that she has doctors who are just whacking an insurance pinata. Her and I talk about her moving out here, and I think it would be great for her. The sad part is that it would help get her away from my baby brother. That kid is just selfish (and I'm not even mad). Eventually, you need to learn to accept that some folks are just who they are, they don't desire to be better, to do the right thing. They live to drag you down. I avoid those people. I wish Ma would. I'm sure it's difficult, admitting you raised one good kid and one asshole. I can be an asshole, but that's not my nature around her. Especially the way my brother is. He's not working, again, and has his hand out. Dude is 30. When does that shit stop? I'm 36, and I haven't asked for a dime since about October of 1997, right after I moved out here. It's been on me. My issue is that I don't currently earn enough to help Ma out.
And in all honesty, if I were to go out there and do standup comedy, do I really want to put the pressure on myself that this is the only way I can provide, quite well, for my family? No, it's not. It's like playing from behind, and the failure would crush me.
Work
As I mentioned earlier, my annual review was last week, and they love me. I'm a stud. I work hard. It's nice to be noticed, to be counted on. I have a great boss, fantastic support. Honestly, if they paid what I was worth in this role, I wouldn't be looking, I could even look past the ridiculous processes and mismanagement of resources.
And now for 'The New Hat Trick story'--slight back story, in the last two weeks a lot of desk moving has happened amongst my group. Not me. I had the guy who was cool and calm that sat across from me move and be replaced by a woman whom I thought was a good worker. I thought my boss had an ax to grind, telling me behind the scenes and over beers (we started at the same time, as peers, just an fyi. I don't want his job, never will) that she's full of crap and a shitstarter. Again, I thought he had an ax to grind. Uh, after a week, notsomuch. She doesn't work, doesn't pay attention and doesn't listen. For real, her favorite word might be 'huh?'
Now the story. This past Friday I came into work as I normally do. I went to take my lunch out of my bag, and she asked me what I brought. 'Salad, like always.' I then mentioned that I needed to come up with something to give up for Lent. Yes, I am Catholic and still believe in that part of it. It's helped in the past. I've given up fast food and soda in the past, dropped 25 lbs. Gave up nail-biting a couple years ago, and don't do that anymore. So I look at it like correcting bad behavior. I'd like to give up swearing and cussing, but we all know that won't happen. No need to set myself up for failure. This woman said to me, "why not give up salad, not like it's working". Yeah, read that again.
"I'm not talking to you for today" was my only response.
About 8 hours go by and she decided she'd ask me a question. I told her she needed to apologize before we go any further. And that's when the 2nd part happened...
"What do you think you heard?" Boys and girls, this is straight out of the passive-aggressive handbook, and I was trained in the Art of War of Linguistics by the best. Any of folks reading this that remember Pops know of which I speak. That dude could double-talk anyone. Again, my old man was a car salesman, I know bullshit when I see it, well before I smell it.
I told her what I know I heard, and she told me, "no, I said why don't you give up sex, it's not like you're getting any".
HOW THE HELL IS THAT ANY BETTER???
And now, the capper. After the agreeing to disagree, and having 2 other women I work with start blazing up my Instant Messenger with jabs about digging a bigger hole and asking her to be more rude, this knucklehead decided to send me and IM, "And I thought I was the one that needed to get their hearing checked".
So, for those keeping score at home, I'm:
Fat
Sexless
and Deaf
(great name for a punk band, just sayin')
HAT TRICK! Thanks for the confidence boost, right?
Best part? Her car was in the shop and she had the nerve to ask me if I would drop her off (and the IMs flying from the 2 other ladies I work with being dumbfounded and offended for me). I know, I'm a wuss about many things, but in this case, I shot her a look and told her I had to finish up some work. Now, her and I are no longer FB friends (by her, not by me), and today she was let go. No, not because of this, I said nothing to HR or my superiors. Because she didn't work.
Off to bed, I'm tired.
----------------
Now playing: The Procussions - Wegotta
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, February 5, 2012
well, that sucked
Congrats to the NY Giants and their fans. Wes Welker dropped a ball when it counted, Mario Manningham caught a ball when it counted. There's the difference in the game.
I probably won't watch TV until Wednesday when Syracuse hosts Georgetown, as this loss kinda sucks as a sports fan, because I knew what was going to happen. No need to break down the woulda/coulda/shoulda, better team won, and now football season is over.
In a rather large bittersweet twist, I believe I won some playoff pool, as I had the Giants. Go figure, I couldn't win for trying this season.
I will say a couple of things, though. James Harrison, stop tweeting, and go read a book. You are the definition of 'sore loser'. The only people or team that's allowed to talk shit to New England is Giants, fans or players. That's it. Everybody else? Shhhh!
Oh, and wherever Bernard Pollard is, someone tell him I said to 'eat a bag of dicks', that guy ruins everything in New England he touches.
Well, on to prep for an interview....wish me luck!
I probably won't watch TV until Wednesday when Syracuse hosts Georgetown, as this loss kinda sucks as a sports fan, because I knew what was going to happen. No need to break down the woulda/coulda/shoulda, better team won, and now football season is over.
In a rather large bittersweet twist, I believe I won some playoff pool, as I had the Giants. Go figure, I couldn't win for trying this season.
I will say a couple of things, though. James Harrison, stop tweeting, and go read a book. You are the definition of 'sore loser'. The only people or team that's allowed to talk shit to New England is Giants, fans or players. That's it. Everybody else? Shhhh!
Oh, and wherever Bernard Pollard is, someone tell him I said to 'eat a bag of dicks', that guy ruins everything in New England he touches.
Well, on to prep for an interview....wish me luck!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
so damn neighborly...
If you've known me long enough, you've heard me utter the phrase "I hate white people", and you may think I'm nuts. It's a two-piece homage. One, it's to 2nd favorite NBA player of all-time, Charles Barkley. He said it to reporters who kept asking dumb questions. The other part of the homage is to all the comics who make fun of white people. I understand, and you'll probably agree, that every race and pretty much every person out there is selfish. I've had my moments. I'm certain you have, too.
I bring this up because of the snowstorm that just hit Denver. I chose not to go into work yesterday because we had already received 5-6 inches, depending on which newscast you watched. I could go off (and I still may) about how employers suck for just not using their heads. I waited for the snowstorm to stop, at about noon today, before I wanted to try to find my car, which you can see here:
Now, here's what creases me to no end-notice the dummy to the right of the picture, he parked about 14 inches next to my car. Nothing on the other side of their car, but didn't want to step into the deepest of the snow...so box your neighbor in. Yes, I slammed my door into the side of that damn car pretty hard. Why? Because white people suck. I know my apartment complex. This thing either belongs to a hipster or their dipshit girlfriend.
Then the real fun happened. After wiping off most of my car, everything except the front-which I couldn't get to-I got to borrow a shovel from one of the maintenance guys. Huge thanks to him, extremely neighborly. I shoveled out my tires as best I could, and then backed my car almost all the way out of my spot. Problem? I couldn't really see out the front of my car due to the foot plus of snow. Look at the picture. So I turned the car off to get out and get to all the snow on the front of my car. I notice 40 yards or so near the front entrance of my building a car stopped and put on its hazards. I figured I had a couple of minutes and this person was waiting for someone. What would you think? But, of course not. This nitwit decides they need to leave. Mind you, plenty of room to turn around. Nope, had to come right up to my car as I'm cleaning it and motioning me to move it. Again, wicked fuckin' neighborly. I just looked at the woman behind the wheel with the biggest 'Really??' look I could muster. Moved my car to another spot (may have been two spots, probably was) and then walked to the front of the building. Guess who's sitting there, again, with her hazards on? Yup, you guessed. I hate white people.
The bonus of staying home
Other than catching up on some DVR shows? I got another job lead and had a company come back like herpes. My boy Zippy hooked me up, again. Gotta love that kid. I talked to a guy who is looking for a rep for a very small IT solutions company based in Denver. I meet with him on Monday.
Now, the herpes comment? I'll explain. The company I interviewed with this previous Wednesday, the 3-lady firing squad? They're after me like a dog in heat. They made a half-assed offer on Tuesday, no numbers but wanted to see if I could start on Monday. Uh, what? Then they push the new sales manager on me. I asked what the offer was, and they told me (again, for review, straight commission-so, uh, no). I came back and told them I am in no position to take a commission only role, and in the meantime some bells & whistles are going off in my gut and my head. Why the sudden urge to get me in on Monday?-we'll come back to that. I left the door open, however, telling this brand new sales mgr that everything is open to negotiation. Face it, it's a bullshit sales move to bullshit people. I thought this little endeavor was over. Nope. Thursday night I got another call from this sales mgr telling me she understood my dilemma (what dilemma? Who's taking a job without real money? Sorry, I'm not young anymore, I got bills) and could guarantee me the base. Whoopie, I make more than that already, and that ain't sayin' much. I asked for it to be put in writing, along with the compensation plan.
And then I got the letter yesterday, after I confirmed the interview I mentioned above. Timing is everything in life. Well, it's one of the 'everythings' in life. I received the 9 page document at 12:10 yesterday, and the sales mgr called me at 12:16. Read that last sentence again. 6 minutes? Who the hell am I, Doug E. Fresh? (please tell me you get that reference, or I'll be saddened) Go figure, the sales mgr just emailed me again at 1:25 today. I'm not kidding. Now, the voicemail wanted to a) make sure I received the email and what I thought (seriously, 6 minutes??) and b) they'd really like me to take half a day on Monday for this 'once in a lifetime training opportunity'. Ok, I hate being hassled. I loathe being hustled. And one sales mantra everyone can agree with is the following:
"Nobody wants to be sold, but everyone wants to buy".
If you can't comprehend that sentence, quit reading this segment and jump lower. Now, all sorts of bells and whistles are going off, along with a big red blinking light in the back of my head with 'DANGER, DANGER, DANGER' being repeated over and over again. Sometimes I'm slow on the uptake, I get it. But this is starting to scream 'one step above a ponzi scheme or an insurance company' deal. Again, I thought this deal was dead, I had walked away from it.
I talked this over with my boy Zippy and my friend and ol' roomie Veronica-something ain't right, and I will be turning this 'opportunity' down.
So, why all the fuss and me writing about all of this? Two reasons, really-one, that I'm not used to being wanted, at all. And two, that adage about it being easier to find a job when you have one? I'm starting to comprehend. If I were in the spot I was over a year ago hunting desperately for a job, who knows how grave of an error I would make in possibly accepting something that, quite frankly, is beneath my skillset. That is not a cocky statement. If we all took a serious assessment of ourselves, without the grind of money beckoning at us, I think we'd all be surprised at what our real self-evaluations would turn out to be. I'm not taking the chance to make less than I am making now, when I have two potential roles sitting out there that could stretch my current skillset and improve my life in ways that I want. I'm over living by the scramble. I've been doing that since 2008, and I'm tired. I want to earn, dang it. I want a real vacation. I'm talking about things like another baseball trip, or Mexico, or going to Toronto to see my buddy KP, and his family. Going back to New Hampshire in August to hang out at my buddy G-Money's cottage.
Here's the beauty of everything-while some may think I'm bitter, jaded and a curmudgeon-my positive outlook has rubbed off on one person. Ma Dukes finally listened, and she got a new job, starts on Monday. And she got her Christmas present yesterday (hey, she got it, don't even try to tell me I suck for not getting it there by December. That's how we operate at times, especially when money is tight).
News
Good, screw this guy. He ought to get the chair, just for that weak-ass defense.
See, by reading the headline, I would have no issue at all with someone helping a friend get a job, especially since they'd worked together in the past. And then I see where they worked together. And what they're doing-or, not doing. What I don't like is the wealth-envy angle of this. Why does the dollar amount matter? My eyes look more toward the lack of solving a problem here. Cronyism happens everywhere. Of course you'd try and help a friend and former colleague get a job. If you liked them and worked well with them in the past, seems pretty simple, doesn't it?
And then, the governor came out with this gem, and now I call 'Bull'. The governor of the state of Colorado has no idea how about the frustration of people out of work, waiting for an unemployment check to clear, trying to figure out which bills to pay. Please, I ask all politicians, quit trying to tell me and everyone else you feel the pain. You haven't felt pain in years. Not hunger pains, not no insurance pains, not can't afford new shoes for an interview pain. Just stop.
Sports
I don't like Jim Calhoun. Never have. However, I do wish him a speedy recovery, if possible. It's better to have him on the sidelines to beat than at home.
Josh Hamilton had a relapse into his alcohol addiction. My heart goes out to him. No one knows really about addiction until they've had it or lived with it. Some addictions are acceptable. An addiction to shopping? No problem. To working out? Nope, 'they look great'. But once booze, opiates or pills come into the equation, everyone's antennae are up-and some folks are just plain dumb when it comes down to it. Josh Hamilton has addressed it, and I wish him luck. Everyday will be a struggle, but when he's beating his demons, the guy is a special baseball player.
8 Points? Wow, that is badass, congrats to Sam Gagner. What's really badass? He got all 3 stars of the game. Can't remember if I've ever heard of that one.
If you remember Tecmo Bowl, you might want to support these guys.
Big Game Prediction
NY Giants @ New England (-3 ½): With the hook, I'm on board. I don't like it, don't like the matchups, my gut is screaming at me that Giants QB Eli Manning will be able to pick apart that awful back 7 of New England's D. I wanna puke, but......NY Giants.
I bring this up because of the snowstorm that just hit Denver. I chose not to go into work yesterday because we had already received 5-6 inches, depending on which newscast you watched. I could go off (and I still may) about how employers suck for just not using their heads. I waited for the snowstorm to stop, at about noon today, before I wanted to try to find my car, which you can see here:
Now, here's what creases me to no end-notice the dummy to the right of the picture, he parked about 14 inches next to my car. Nothing on the other side of their car, but didn't want to step into the deepest of the snow...so box your neighbor in. Yes, I slammed my door into the side of that damn car pretty hard. Why? Because white people suck. I know my apartment complex. This thing either belongs to a hipster or their dipshit girlfriend.
Then the real fun happened. After wiping off most of my car, everything except the front-which I couldn't get to-I got to borrow a shovel from one of the maintenance guys. Huge thanks to him, extremely neighborly. I shoveled out my tires as best I could, and then backed my car almost all the way out of my spot. Problem? I couldn't really see out the front of my car due to the foot plus of snow. Look at the picture. So I turned the car off to get out and get to all the snow on the front of my car. I notice 40 yards or so near the front entrance of my building a car stopped and put on its hazards. I figured I had a couple of minutes and this person was waiting for someone. What would you think? But, of course not. This nitwit decides they need to leave. Mind you, plenty of room to turn around. Nope, had to come right up to my car as I'm cleaning it and motioning me to move it. Again, wicked fuckin' neighborly. I just looked at the woman behind the wheel with the biggest 'Really??' look I could muster. Moved my car to another spot (may have been two spots, probably was) and then walked to the front of the building. Guess who's sitting there, again, with her hazards on? Yup, you guessed. I hate white people.
The bonus of staying home
Other than catching up on some DVR shows? I got another job lead and had a company come back like herpes. My boy Zippy hooked me up, again. Gotta love that kid. I talked to a guy who is looking for a rep for a very small IT solutions company based in Denver. I meet with him on Monday.
Now, the herpes comment? I'll explain. The company I interviewed with this previous Wednesday, the 3-lady firing squad? They're after me like a dog in heat. They made a half-assed offer on Tuesday, no numbers but wanted to see if I could start on Monday. Uh, what? Then they push the new sales manager on me. I asked what the offer was, and they told me (again, for review, straight commission-so, uh, no). I came back and told them I am in no position to take a commission only role, and in the meantime some bells & whistles are going off in my gut and my head. Why the sudden urge to get me in on Monday?-we'll come back to that. I left the door open, however, telling this brand new sales mgr that everything is open to negotiation. Face it, it's a bullshit sales move to bullshit people. I thought this little endeavor was over. Nope. Thursday night I got another call from this sales mgr telling me she understood my dilemma (what dilemma? Who's taking a job without real money? Sorry, I'm not young anymore, I got bills) and could guarantee me the base. Whoopie, I make more than that already, and that ain't sayin' much. I asked for it to be put in writing, along with the compensation plan.
And then I got the letter yesterday, after I confirmed the interview I mentioned above. Timing is everything in life. Well, it's one of the 'everythings' in life. I received the 9 page document at 12:10 yesterday, and the sales mgr called me at 12:16. Read that last sentence again. 6 minutes? Who the hell am I, Doug E. Fresh? (please tell me you get that reference, or I'll be saddened) Go figure, the sales mgr just emailed me again at 1:25 today. I'm not kidding. Now, the voicemail wanted to a) make sure I received the email and what I thought (seriously, 6 minutes??) and b) they'd really like me to take half a day on Monday for this 'once in a lifetime training opportunity'. Ok, I hate being hassled. I loathe being hustled. And one sales mantra everyone can agree with is the following:
"Nobody wants to be sold, but everyone wants to buy".
If you can't comprehend that sentence, quit reading this segment and jump lower. Now, all sorts of bells and whistles are going off, along with a big red blinking light in the back of my head with 'DANGER, DANGER, DANGER' being repeated over and over again. Sometimes I'm slow on the uptake, I get it. But this is starting to scream 'one step above a ponzi scheme or an insurance company' deal. Again, I thought this deal was dead, I had walked away from it.
I talked this over with my boy Zippy and my friend and ol' roomie Veronica-something ain't right, and I will be turning this 'opportunity' down.
So, why all the fuss and me writing about all of this? Two reasons, really-one, that I'm not used to being wanted, at all. And two, that adage about it being easier to find a job when you have one? I'm starting to comprehend. If I were in the spot I was over a year ago hunting desperately for a job, who knows how grave of an error I would make in possibly accepting something that, quite frankly, is beneath my skillset. That is not a cocky statement. If we all took a serious assessment of ourselves, without the grind of money beckoning at us, I think we'd all be surprised at what our real self-evaluations would turn out to be. I'm not taking the chance to make less than I am making now, when I have two potential roles sitting out there that could stretch my current skillset and improve my life in ways that I want. I'm over living by the scramble. I've been doing that since 2008, and I'm tired. I want to earn, dang it. I want a real vacation. I'm talking about things like another baseball trip, or Mexico, or going to Toronto to see my buddy KP, and his family. Going back to New Hampshire in August to hang out at my buddy G-Money's cottage.
Here's the beauty of everything-while some may think I'm bitter, jaded and a curmudgeon-my positive outlook has rubbed off on one person. Ma Dukes finally listened, and she got a new job, starts on Monday. And she got her Christmas present yesterday (hey, she got it, don't even try to tell me I suck for not getting it there by December. That's how we operate at times, especially when money is tight).
News
Good, screw this guy. He ought to get the chair, just for that weak-ass defense.
See, by reading the headline, I would have no issue at all with someone helping a friend get a job, especially since they'd worked together in the past. And then I see where they worked together. And what they're doing-or, not doing. What I don't like is the wealth-envy angle of this. Why does the dollar amount matter? My eyes look more toward the lack of solving a problem here. Cronyism happens everywhere. Of course you'd try and help a friend and former colleague get a job. If you liked them and worked well with them in the past, seems pretty simple, doesn't it?
And then, the governor came out with this gem, and now I call 'Bull'. The governor of the state of Colorado has no idea how about the frustration of people out of work, waiting for an unemployment check to clear, trying to figure out which bills to pay. Please, I ask all politicians, quit trying to tell me and everyone else you feel the pain. You haven't felt pain in years. Not hunger pains, not no insurance pains, not can't afford new shoes for an interview pain. Just stop.
Sports
I don't like Jim Calhoun. Never have. However, I do wish him a speedy recovery, if possible. It's better to have him on the sidelines to beat than at home.
Josh Hamilton had a relapse into his alcohol addiction. My heart goes out to him. No one knows really about addiction until they've had it or lived with it. Some addictions are acceptable. An addiction to shopping? No problem. To working out? Nope, 'they look great'. But once booze, opiates or pills come into the equation, everyone's antennae are up-and some folks are just plain dumb when it comes down to it. Josh Hamilton has addressed it, and I wish him luck. Everyday will be a struggle, but when he's beating his demons, the guy is a special baseball player.
8 Points? Wow, that is badass, congrats to Sam Gagner. What's really badass? He got all 3 stars of the game. Can't remember if I've ever heard of that one.
If you remember Tecmo Bowl, you might want to support these guys.
Big Game Prediction
NY Giants @ New England (-3 ½): With the hook, I'm on board. I don't like it, don't like the matchups, my gut is screaming at me that Giants QB Eli Manning will be able to pick apart that awful back 7 of New England's D. I wanna puke, but......NY Giants.
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