So many reactions, so little time (oh, who am I kidding? I've got plenty of time). The best reaction in my opinion to the 'news' that David Ortiz has been White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who simply wants the alleged confidential list just released. I do, too. Just get this damn thing over with. And can we stop with this lame notion that the game and certain championships are now tainted? Please, spare me.
Why is the game not tainted? Easy, because everyone was doing something. Look, there were 104 players on this list. We know about Sammy Sosa, Alex Rodriguez, Larry Bigbie, Manny Ramirez, David Segui, Jason Grimsley and now David Ortiz. You can google and search on baseball and steroids, and I don't think you'd be shocked to see how many sites there are dedicated to this debacle. Most importantly, please remember that this list is from 2003, when steriods, while illegal unless prescribed by a doctor here in the US, were not considered illegal in Major League Baseball. So far, we've heard about 7 on the list of 104. Enough already, just give us the list. Yes, Major League Baseball and its Players Union has a serious issue on their hands. The issues are multiple, from the leaking of this confidential list to a potential lawsuit regarding the leak itself.
So, to go back, why is this game and it's records not tainted? For me, it's pretty easy. Up until Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier back in 1947, the game was all white. That means, at least to me, that some of those famed Negro League players like Satchel Paige, Cool Papa Bell, Larry Brown and Josh Gibson were never allowed to compete and change the landscape of baseball. I hold as a personal belief that Josh Gibson would have crushed Babe Ruth's Home Run record.
In the late 60's and all the way into the very early 80's baseball had a huge cocaine problem. Gee, is that to be considered a performance enhancing drug? Also, up until 2006, amphetimines were legal in the clubhouse. Well, I'm pretty sure the rest of us would have been highly likely to get arrested for having them. It's like legal speed. Does that mean that the players of those era's get to have an asterisk next to their names for being junkies? No, no it doesn't.
What I want people to do is relax and really think about the following question: if you had the chance to keep your job, and very well increase your income triplefold by jamming a needle in your ass a few times, would you do it? Mind you, that a lot of others in your profession are doing it and are surpassing you at an alarming rate. I'm not making excuses, just an explanation. I could not look anyone in the face and say that I wouldn't do it. I'd be lying. And if you can answer quickly and honestly with a 'No' and mean it sincerely, you're a far better person than I.
Oh, and for all those who think Barry Bonds juiced, get over yourselves. He may have done steroids, but it will never be proven. If he did, he got off of them and switched to HGH which is undetectable by Major League Baseball testing methods.
For those that say the Boston Red Sox and their two championships in 2004 and 2007 are tainted, I laugh in your general direction. Why? Because they weren't the only teams with alledged juicers on their roster. Don't believe me? Fine, how about we go down memory lane to the last 20 World Series and see if we can find any admitted juicers or alleged, shall we? All my info on rosters and matchups are from http://www.baseball-reference.com/:
1988-LA Dodgers vs Oakland A's
The only guy on the Dodgers I'd suspect would be Steve Sax. As for Oakland, you're kidding me, right? Lets leave it at Canseco and McGwire for now, you can look up the team yourself and see if anyone pops out at you.
1989-Oakland A's vs SF Giants
Well, you've got Canseco and McGwire again for Oakland, along with the newly eery mention of a new HOF in Rickey Henderson. As for SF, Matt Williams is the only one that comes to mind, but not really.
1990-Cincinnati Reds vs Oakland A's
Do you see a pattern here yet? No one on Cincinnati sticks out to me, while there's Oakland with Canseco and McGwire again. Just check out the numbers on Oakland's outfield and tell me something doesn't start standing out to you.
1991-Minnesota Twins vs Atlanta Braves
I loved this Twins team and this was one of the best Series ever played. I've heard rumors, and I don't believe them, about Scott Erickson-he had a lot of arm trouble towards the end of his career. The Braves-I don't really see anyone on the roster, but I do remember Ronnie Gant being yoked. Doesn't mean he did anything, but it's not really funny how people are under suspicion either, now is it?
1992-Toronto Blue Jays vs Atlanta Braves
Toronto, I really have nothing. Atlanta? I don't really see anything that sticks out, other than Terry Pendleton's crazy year. Anomolies happen, people are allowed career years.
1993-Toronto Blue Jays vs Philadelphia Phillies
The only thing that strikes me odd is Roberto Alomar's HR numbers take a nice uptick, but that means nothing, could've been him getting used to the AL pitching. Of course, Rickey Henderson makes an appearance, too. As for Philly? Lenny Dykstra is in my mind guilty just because of what he looks like now. And Darren Daulton.
1994-we don't talk about this season, because Bud Selig is a dope.
1995-Atlanta Braves vs Cleveland Indians
Atlanta, Javy Lopez was always suspect to me, just because of how he dropped off the world at the end of his career. Cleveland? Well lookie, lookie, it's Manny Ramirez. And there's Albert Belle and Carlos Baerga, too...allegedly, just my speculation.
1996-NYY vs Atlanta Braves
For the Yankees, Ruben Sierra was their DH. So was Jim Leyritz. I think Ricky Bones was busted as well, along with Andy Pettitte. Atlanta, no one but Lopez is still sticking out to me, but maybe I just never liked him so I'm showing my bias.
1997-Florida Marlins vs Cleveland Indians
For Florida, there's Darren Daulton and known user of the cream & clear Gary Sheffield. Cleveland, there's Matt Williams and known user Manny Ramirez.
1998-NYY vs San Diego Padres
NYY, known users Chuck Knoblauch and Andy Pettitte. San Diego, known users Wally Joyner, Ken Caminiti and Jim Leyritz (they all admitted it).
1999-NYY vs Atlanta Braves
NYY, there's Knoblauch and Leyritz again, along with Grimsley (from the 2003 report) and our old pal Roger Clemens, allegedly, mind you, just took a B12 and lidocane shot to the posterior. His pal Andy Pettitte is here, too. Atlanta, Bret Boone and John Rocker are just under suspicion.
2000-NYY vs NY Mets
NYY, well don't you remember Clemens chucking a bat at Mike Piazza? Well, there's Knoblauch again, along with Jose Canseco, Jim Leyritz, Jason Grimsley, Roger Clemens and don't forget Andy Pettitte. As for the Mets, well they had Piazza, Todd Zeile and don't forget about Rickey Henderson.
2001-Arizona Diamondbacks vs. NYY
Arizona had Matt Williams and Luis Gonzalez (57 HRs!!!!), while the NYY still had Knoblauch, Pettitte, and Clemens.
2002-Anaheim Angels vs SF Giants
Anaheim had Troy Glaus, while SF had Barry Bonds.
2003-Florida Marlins vs NYY
Florida had Ivan Rodriguez, NYY had Jason Giambi (admitted), Zeile, Aaron F-ing Boone, Ruben Sierra, Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens.
2004-Boston Red Sox vs St. Louis Cardinals
Boston, well we all know about Manny and David Ortiz. Who else, allegedly? How about Kevin Millar, Mark Bellhorn, Johnny Damon and Gabe Kapler, along with Bronson Arroyo, who today admitted he wouldn't be shocked if he was on the list. Read this, and you'll see it's all about tainted supplements. As for St. Louis, they have Albert Pujols (he can scream all he wants, and I hope he never touched anything other than a protein shake, but now everyone is a damn suspect-they're all bums, the lot of 'em), Jim Edmonds, Matt Morris and Scott Rolen.
2005-Chicago White Sox vs. Houston Astros
Chicago, no one sticks out at me. Houston? Jeff Bagwell, and our old NYY friends Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens.
2006-St. Louis Cardinals vs Detroit Tigers
St. Louis had Pujols, Rolen, Edmonds and there's Larry Bigbie, too. Detroit, there's Ivan Rodriguez, Chris Shelton and Magglio Ordonez (I've seen his name pop up on the rumor mill, and as I said before, nothing would shock me).
2007-Boston Red Sox vs Colorado Rockies
Boston as we all know again about Manny and Big Papi. Colorado, how about Todd Helton?
Lastly, we come to 2008, Philadelphia Phillies vs Tampa Bay Rays
Philly has no one that peaks my interest. I won't say Brett Myers, either-just because you beat your wife doesn't mean you did steriods. It means you're an ass. Tampa Bay, I've got nothing there, either.
But I'd be willing to bet you I can dig on each roster and start looking for statistical anomolies based on who was a teammate of the above mentioned, along with teammates of these teammates.
Someone again needs to apologize to Jose Canseco and really start talking to him about this problem. I'm more inclined to believe his initial comment that 80% of the players were on something. He stated this in his first book. Some mocked him. How does he look now? And he's stated that he never lied about steroids.
As a fan, I want the list out. Just get it over with already. I'm fine if the most Home Runs I ever see hit by one player in a season is 42. Either clean it up or 'Roid them all up, but stop playing this dance. It insults us as fans, and as people.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Manny, and whomever else deserves a slap
Sorry, but I got a bit tired writing all that stuff about Michael Jackson, but I got a good night's sleep, had a nice breakfast and a damn good cup of coffee, so it's on to the last person I stated I'd go after.
Manny Ramirez-I really wanted to let him go, like a girlfriend who just didn't work out. I wanted to forget about the things he did to get out of Boston. The throwing down of a 68 year old traveling secretary, for instance. Or the 9 second time it took to run down to first base on a groundball to short. Or not lifting the bat off his shoulder at Yankee Stadium. I was even willing to forgive him getting busted for a female growth hormone, one that allows for the production of testosterone. It's a drug therapy apparently well known in the steroid users manual. That was when I started to get a little upset. Much like when the old girlfriend decides to hit the gym and become the hot chick you used to date. And then Manny came back, and then I got pissed. Why? Simple, really. He busted his ass down the line on a groundball to short. I still had on my 'Manny Being Manny' T-shirt. But no more. That shirt is now in the trash. I wanted my memories of Manny to be of the good times. Like the day after he became an American citizen and ran out to the Green Monster with little American Flag, or when he pissed inside the monster during a pitching change. Or when he was looking dead red and you knew, just knew that if the guy on the hill hung that pitch it was beyond gone. I miss my Manny, the guy I couldn't leave my couch, or the bar to go to the john, because he could hit. But then he had to go and hustle for the Dodgers, for Joe Torre of all people. And everything that I didn't want to believe has come true to me. You had no knee problems, ever, even though you couldn't tell the Red Sox medical staff which one hurt. You weren't under stress when you shoved the traveling secretary to the ground in Houston. You wanted out but just didn't know how to say it. In my world, you're a fag. This is in no way disrespectful to homosexuals. What Manny did is the move of a fag, or a bitch. No male/female connotation. All you had to say was that you wanted out, and I'm sure something could've been accomplished amicably. Instead, you chose to bitch out. Manny, you had the chance to have your #24 retired in Red Sox lore, along with Ted Williams, Johnny Pesky, Carlton Fisk. Now, the Red Sox should do the right thing, and retire #24 to its rightful owner, a man who played for the other 24 guys on the team, knew what my hometown was all about-Dewey Evans. Hopefully the Sox ownership group can do this before Game 1 of the World Series against the Dodgers. That and all the fans give Manny the finger when he's announced. You bent over a whole city, no lube, no love. And now you don't want to talk about the past. Well, make sure you know that I will. I will state that 50 games wasn't enough. You're a disgrace to every kid that ever wanted to play a game for a living, for every person that goes out and busts their ass to pay the rent on time and keep their kid's bellies full. It was stated in a movie and in my house, 'The saddest thing in life is wasted talent'. I think I may have found something more sad. It's the person who has a God-given gift, knows he has that gift, and still spits on said gift, as if you were cursed. Have fun in Hollyweird, or Mannywood, whatever the hell they call left field in Dodger Stadium. You've aligned yourself with those that show up in the 2nd inning and leave in the 7th, as opposed to those who sleep outside the most sacred ballpark in the world (that's right I said it) and stay after the final pitch, who've bled like Schilling's ankle, for nothing more than an allegiance. I'll say this for my folks back in New England, just stick with it-the Marines have 'God, Country, Corp' as their way of being, we have 'Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Sox'. And you finally busting ass down the line in a middle of the season game on the road finally showed me your true colors. I was hoping it wasn't all about the almighty dollar dollar bill y'all. But I was wrong. Much like that old girlfriend, I can't make you something you're not. Good luck in LA, and here's to you gettin' the business if you're ever lucky enough to grace Fenway Park.
Next I have something that I've read, re-read, mulled it over, and am now wondering where is the outrage, by every citizen of this country, the NAACP, where's Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and the other race pimps. Where the hell is my President on this? He should be looking at a way to get rid of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, like yesterday. In case you missed it, and I wouldn't be surprised, here's the comment she made in an interview in New York Times Magazine, regarding Roe v. Wade:
"Frankly I had thought that at the time Roe [v. Wade] was decided, there was concern about population growth and particularly growth in populations that we don't want to have too many of."
Please re-read that quote. Now I don't know about you, but I have three huge problems with this statement-One, there was no follow up question, nice journalism. Two, the question that should have followed up this statement should have been along the lines of asking which population was growing that you don't want too many of, Justice Ginsburg? Right? Isn't that what you're thinking, too?? (Please, I sure hope it is) And lastly, where are heavy hitting minority leaders on this comment? I'm going to do my own connecting of the dots here. Since most Planned Parenthood's were set up in minority neighborhoods during it's inception (a simple fact based on research that the original head of PP was a racist that didn't want anymore black children being born--look it up if you don't believe me), and that more black children have been aborted by sheer volume and statistically than any other race, is it safe to think that Ginsburg was speaking of the black population? If that's the case, where in the world are Sharpton, Jackson and more importantly Obama telling this woman to step down from her seat on the highest court in the land? I'm a white male and I'm outraged, where is the minority viewpoint on this? Why is this not in the top 10 subjects on any newscast? This is frightening to me, a member of our Supreme Court wanting to play God, why isn't this being talked about? Does it freak anyone else out?
Next up, I finally read an article by a mainstream media member who owned up to what I knew all along-that most in the media hate her, and it came through in their coverage of her. Here's the best part, he flat out comes clean, and clears some other rumors that were flat-out lies about Sarah Palin. Why do I defend her? Easy, because I hate bullies, and I hate hypocrites. If Katie Couric and Oprah really were all about the sisterhood, there's no way in hell any of this crap would've happened after she was announced as the VP. You can hate on her for whatever reason you want. I'll even agree that she's self-righteous. You might not agree with her policies, I bet I won't. But the way her family was treated, even after the liberal Superhero told the press not to go anywhere near his girls, why would Palin's family be treated any differently? It's an easy answer. Those that claim to be for all women are phonies, they lie under the cloak of feminism to shield themselves from criticism. Kudos to Carl M. Cannon for stepping up. A sidenote, do you think those in DC in the political press have sore necks from nodding with each other all the time? It's like any other group-think mentality. It's why I don't always hang out with Red Sox fans, they bore me and rarely have anything new to bring to the table. Good solid debating is a place where you can truly learn something you may not have known. For example, after reading this you may think I'm a moron, and I may be, but would you defend my right to say it? I may not agree with your ideas/beliefs, but I'll be damned if you don't have the right to say whatever you want.
Something else in DC has me a little perturbed, and that's this full-fledged OscarMeyering of us, the American public. If I have to hear one more Representative or Senator telling me that Obama gave 95% of the public a tax cut, I'm going to scream. It's impossible to give those that don't pay taxes a tax cut!!!!! It's impossible, cannot be done. I'm not certain the percentage, but I think it's around 35-40% of potential taxpayers don't pay taxes in this country. So how do they get a tax cut? As for the rest, only some were eligible for that whopping $13/paycheck tax cut. What the hell can you do with $13?? I know how I can spend it, but the average person? Anyone else getting tired of those in Washington telling us how to spend our money? I for one am. I read an economic study where it was stated that if the stimulus Obama out were given as tax cuts to the citizens of this country, it would be like none of us paying taxes for 6-7 months. Now, who better to spend the money, you or bureaucrats? Take a look at your paycheck and think about what you'd do if you didn't have payroll tax or social security tax. Some would pay off bills, some would save, some would spend some money. Gee, isn't that a real stimulus, letting us spend money on what we want? Crazy thought, I know. Apparently we citizens don't know what's good for us, so Washington will tell us how to better spend our money. Hmmm, I think I found another platform issue for my Presidential run for '12. Thoughts?
A couple other random thoughts, nothing to do with politics, before I get to some sports stuff--
You cannot look all hard when you are rolling on a donut. Roll up the window, turn down the bass, your hoopdie ain't fly, neither are you. And quit mean-muggin', you're in the 'burbs, ya dope.
If you have to get into a car accident with someone, let it be known if that person that hit you has Farmers Insurance you'll be dealt with professionally and in a timely manner.
It's not the moving part that sucks, it's realizing how much crap you've accumulated. That, and wondering why you thought something was important/significant when it rarely turns out that way. If I had it my way, I'd take my computer/ipod/cell phone, my clothes, baseball cards and shoes and that would be the end of it. I've cleaned out a bunch of stuff, but now I'm trying to sell a bunch of stuff-mostly because I don't want to impose on my friends or pay movers.
I hate white people. This is not a self-loathing statement. I'm really tired of my own people. Stop fist-bumping!!! You look retarded. Embrace your dorkiness. Seriously, there are only like 20 of us white folks that are cool enough. Enough, don't blow up the fist-bump, either. Stop wearing your pants all low. My pants sag, but that's because I have no ass. Stop wearing your hat to the side. You look ridiculous. Do not dare tint the windows superdark on a '96 Grand Am. Just stop it. It's okay to be white, just stop looking like complete morons. Stop acting even dumber. Can we go back to shaking hands and looking into the eyes of another human being, please? I've had enough. I'm doing my part. No more fist-bumps. I just slap the top of the hand like I'm giving a 2 year old a fiver. I'm not kidding-it's time we start embracing the white man's overbite when we try to dance. Dead serious, there isn't enough 'cool' to go around. Stop this lame obsession of combining words, like Bromance. Or staycation. Knock it off!!!! And this is why I hate white people. Charles Barkley said it in an interview years ago, and got grilled for it. Well, I'm white and I'm not a big fan of my people, either. And enough with talking about your feelings, no one cares, except two of your friends and your Mom. Not everyday is a Dr. Phil day. Now go watch baseball, turn your visor around frontwards, sit down, shut up and clap when the 6-4-3 double play is turned with perfection. Why won't I shut up? At least I'm funny. My friends call me, they are almost guaranteed a laugh.
Sports-the NBA and NHL had their drafts, anyone care? Me, neither. For different reasons. The NBA-not that talented and TV drags this stuff out. It could be done in 90 minutes. The NHL? Most of us don't get to watch the pros enough (seriously, there's a thousand NBA games on during the week, I get like 3 hockey games-can Bettman get on this already?) so most barely care. We don't get to watch minors hockey or get a Russian/Sweden/Czech game of the week on a random Wednesday night, either. Why not? Then we might know these kids like I knew damn near everyone in the NBA draft from college basketball.
Others are excited about all the trades and free agent signings. Not me, as most don't make any sense. The Fakers sign Ron Artest and let Trevor Ariza go, and they've yet to re-sign Lamar Odom. I hear fans telling me that they're better. And I don't buy it. One reason-Artest and Kobe are going to be going at it in practice and something real dumb is going to happen. And Ariza is younger and cheaper, they should have tried to keep him.
Shaq gets traded to Cleveland. Awesome, now some big slow center is going to clog the land for LeBron. Thanks!! Hedo Turkoglu signs with Toronto and Orlando trades for Vince Carter. Toronto gets a little bit better, but I think Orlando just lost more than they gained, by letting Hedo go and trading Courtney Lee to get Carter.
The best move? 'Sheed is coming to Boston...oh hells yes! A big man who can play defense and hit the open jumper, even 3-pt. distance? Who wants to play in Boston, with a healthy KG? And it's 'Sheed. Maybe we can get a CTC moment on camera. CTC stands for Cut The Check. Between that and 'Ball Don't Lie', I'm ecstatic!!! Here's where that comes from:
Rasheed Wallace, Ball don't lie Bogut
Get ready for fun, because it's coming this season in Boston.
Now as far as hockey goes, I know Chris Pronger got traded to Philly. He'll fit right in and the fans will love him, but I think he's on the downslope of his career. Scott Gomez gets traded to Montreal, and then the Rangers sign Gaborik. Great signing, if he ever stays healthy. I just want the B's to keep this team together for one more season if at all possible. They did awesome things this past season, and if you can allow a team to gel, it could be awesome come next summer.
(There's even a possibility of sweeping the titles this year...shhhh)
Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti both appear to have been murdered. Anyone else thinking maybe we need a week without an athlete or a celebrity dying might be nice? The McNair thing pisses me off more than the Gatti death. McNair was shot in his sleep by his girlfriend...but he was married. I'm going to state this for the umpteenth time, if you don't think you can be faithful, don't get married. There's temptation everywhere, but have enough respect for your spouse not to cheat. Now, we don't know everything, but think about your family. I would have thought that would stop most people from cheating. I've been propositioned in the past, seemed like a pretty easy decision...thanks, but no. I know what I had at the time, and didn't need to chuck that away for a roll in the hay. What, just for some strange? It just didn't seem worth it, and it rarely is.
Read this and make sense of it...I tried 3 times and my head hurts, still. I thought this thing would be settled on a field, not in a courthouse. What do I know?
You stay classy, Richard Jefferson. I'm broke and I wouldn't dump a woman like this.
This is an awesome website!!! Dedicated to one of the best college hoops games, ever. Yup, I said that, too.
Lastly, I won't link to it, but there is a huge buzz going on about Erin Andrews of ESPN and someone filming her through a reverse peephole. I hope they find this creep and nail him to the wall. This is beyond creepy. It's beyond stalkerish, at least to me. The day is coming, and mark my words, were we as a people are going to have a weirdo episode with yet another one of these wackjobs and someone will end up dead. Mark David Chapman ringing any bells? This story is nuts, and not in the good way.
To leave on a good note:
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Well, I'm off to do some other stuff, like figure out what's a real email and what's spam from me trying to sell my crap on Craigslist. Happy Sunday, fools!!!
----------------
Now playing: Rick Ross - Maybach Music 2 (Feat. T-Pain, Lil Wayne And Kanye West)
via FoxyTunes
Manny Ramirez-I really wanted to let him go, like a girlfriend who just didn't work out. I wanted to forget about the things he did to get out of Boston. The throwing down of a 68 year old traveling secretary, for instance. Or the 9 second time it took to run down to first base on a groundball to short. Or not lifting the bat off his shoulder at Yankee Stadium. I was even willing to forgive him getting busted for a female growth hormone, one that allows for the production of testosterone. It's a drug therapy apparently well known in the steroid users manual. That was when I started to get a little upset. Much like when the old girlfriend decides to hit the gym and become the hot chick you used to date. And then Manny came back, and then I got pissed. Why? Simple, really. He busted his ass down the line on a groundball to short. I still had on my 'Manny Being Manny' T-shirt. But no more. That shirt is now in the trash. I wanted my memories of Manny to be of the good times. Like the day after he became an American citizen and ran out to the Green Monster with little American Flag, or when he pissed inside the monster during a pitching change. Or when he was looking dead red and you knew, just knew that if the guy on the hill hung that pitch it was beyond gone. I miss my Manny, the guy I couldn't leave my couch, or the bar to go to the john, because he could hit. But then he had to go and hustle for the Dodgers, for Joe Torre of all people. And everything that I didn't want to believe has come true to me. You had no knee problems, ever, even though you couldn't tell the Red Sox medical staff which one hurt. You weren't under stress when you shoved the traveling secretary to the ground in Houston. You wanted out but just didn't know how to say it. In my world, you're a fag. This is in no way disrespectful to homosexuals. What Manny did is the move of a fag, or a bitch. No male/female connotation. All you had to say was that you wanted out, and I'm sure something could've been accomplished amicably. Instead, you chose to bitch out. Manny, you had the chance to have your #24 retired in Red Sox lore, along with Ted Williams, Johnny Pesky, Carlton Fisk. Now, the Red Sox should do the right thing, and retire #24 to its rightful owner, a man who played for the other 24 guys on the team, knew what my hometown was all about-Dewey Evans. Hopefully the Sox ownership group can do this before Game 1 of the World Series against the Dodgers. That and all the fans give Manny the finger when he's announced. You bent over a whole city, no lube, no love. And now you don't want to talk about the past. Well, make sure you know that I will. I will state that 50 games wasn't enough. You're a disgrace to every kid that ever wanted to play a game for a living, for every person that goes out and busts their ass to pay the rent on time and keep their kid's bellies full. It was stated in a movie and in my house, 'The saddest thing in life is wasted talent'. I think I may have found something more sad. It's the person who has a God-given gift, knows he has that gift, and still spits on said gift, as if you were cursed. Have fun in Hollyweird, or Mannywood, whatever the hell they call left field in Dodger Stadium. You've aligned yourself with those that show up in the 2nd inning and leave in the 7th, as opposed to those who sleep outside the most sacred ballpark in the world (that's right I said it) and stay after the final pitch, who've bled like Schilling's ankle, for nothing more than an allegiance. I'll say this for my folks back in New England, just stick with it-the Marines have 'God, Country, Corp' as their way of being, we have 'Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Sox'. And you finally busting ass down the line in a middle of the season game on the road finally showed me your true colors. I was hoping it wasn't all about the almighty dollar dollar bill y'all. But I was wrong. Much like that old girlfriend, I can't make you something you're not. Good luck in LA, and here's to you gettin' the business if you're ever lucky enough to grace Fenway Park.
Next I have something that I've read, re-read, mulled it over, and am now wondering where is the outrage, by every citizen of this country, the NAACP, where's Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and the other race pimps. Where the hell is my President on this? He should be looking at a way to get rid of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, like yesterday. In case you missed it, and I wouldn't be surprised, here's the comment she made in an interview in New York Times Magazine, regarding Roe v. Wade:
"Frankly I had thought that at the time Roe [v. Wade] was decided, there was concern about population growth and particularly growth in populations that we don't want to have too many of."
Please re-read that quote. Now I don't know about you, but I have three huge problems with this statement-One, there was no follow up question, nice journalism. Two, the question that should have followed up this statement should have been along the lines of asking which population was growing that you don't want too many of, Justice Ginsburg? Right? Isn't that what you're thinking, too?? (Please, I sure hope it is) And lastly, where are heavy hitting minority leaders on this comment? I'm going to do my own connecting of the dots here. Since most Planned Parenthood's were set up in minority neighborhoods during it's inception (a simple fact based on research that the original head of PP was a racist that didn't want anymore black children being born--look it up if you don't believe me), and that more black children have been aborted by sheer volume and statistically than any other race, is it safe to think that Ginsburg was speaking of the black population? If that's the case, where in the world are Sharpton, Jackson and more importantly Obama telling this woman to step down from her seat on the highest court in the land? I'm a white male and I'm outraged, where is the minority viewpoint on this? Why is this not in the top 10 subjects on any newscast? This is frightening to me, a member of our Supreme Court wanting to play God, why isn't this being talked about? Does it freak anyone else out?
Next up, I finally read an article by a mainstream media member who owned up to what I knew all along-that most in the media hate her, and it came through in their coverage of her. Here's the best part, he flat out comes clean, and clears some other rumors that were flat-out lies about Sarah Palin. Why do I defend her? Easy, because I hate bullies, and I hate hypocrites. If Katie Couric and Oprah really were all about the sisterhood, there's no way in hell any of this crap would've happened after she was announced as the VP. You can hate on her for whatever reason you want. I'll even agree that she's self-righteous. You might not agree with her policies, I bet I won't. But the way her family was treated, even after the liberal Superhero told the press not to go anywhere near his girls, why would Palin's family be treated any differently? It's an easy answer. Those that claim to be for all women are phonies, they lie under the cloak of feminism to shield themselves from criticism. Kudos to Carl M. Cannon for stepping up. A sidenote, do you think those in DC in the political press have sore necks from nodding with each other all the time? It's like any other group-think mentality. It's why I don't always hang out with Red Sox fans, they bore me and rarely have anything new to bring to the table. Good solid debating is a place where you can truly learn something you may not have known. For example, after reading this you may think I'm a moron, and I may be, but would you defend my right to say it? I may not agree with your ideas/beliefs, but I'll be damned if you don't have the right to say whatever you want.
Something else in DC has me a little perturbed, and that's this full-fledged OscarMeyering of us, the American public. If I have to hear one more Representative or Senator telling me that Obama gave 95% of the public a tax cut, I'm going to scream. It's impossible to give those that don't pay taxes a tax cut!!!!! It's impossible, cannot be done. I'm not certain the percentage, but I think it's around 35-40% of potential taxpayers don't pay taxes in this country. So how do they get a tax cut? As for the rest, only some were eligible for that whopping $13/paycheck tax cut. What the hell can you do with $13?? I know how I can spend it, but the average person? Anyone else getting tired of those in Washington telling us how to spend our money? I for one am. I read an economic study where it was stated that if the stimulus Obama out were given as tax cuts to the citizens of this country, it would be like none of us paying taxes for 6-7 months. Now, who better to spend the money, you or bureaucrats? Take a look at your paycheck and think about what you'd do if you didn't have payroll tax or social security tax. Some would pay off bills, some would save, some would spend some money. Gee, isn't that a real stimulus, letting us spend money on what we want? Crazy thought, I know. Apparently we citizens don't know what's good for us, so Washington will tell us how to better spend our money. Hmmm, I think I found another platform issue for my Presidential run for '12. Thoughts?
A couple other random thoughts, nothing to do with politics, before I get to some sports stuff--
You cannot look all hard when you are rolling on a donut. Roll up the window, turn down the bass, your hoopdie ain't fly, neither are you. And quit mean-muggin', you're in the 'burbs, ya dope.
If you have to get into a car accident with someone, let it be known if that person that hit you has Farmers Insurance you'll be dealt with professionally and in a timely manner.
It's not the moving part that sucks, it's realizing how much crap you've accumulated. That, and wondering why you thought something was important/significant when it rarely turns out that way. If I had it my way, I'd take my computer/ipod/cell phone, my clothes, baseball cards and shoes and that would be the end of it. I've cleaned out a bunch of stuff, but now I'm trying to sell a bunch of stuff-mostly because I don't want to impose on my friends or pay movers.
I hate white people. This is not a self-loathing statement. I'm really tired of my own people. Stop fist-bumping!!! You look retarded. Embrace your dorkiness. Seriously, there are only like 20 of us white folks that are cool enough. Enough, don't blow up the fist-bump, either. Stop wearing your pants all low. My pants sag, but that's because I have no ass. Stop wearing your hat to the side. You look ridiculous. Do not dare tint the windows superdark on a '96 Grand Am. Just stop it. It's okay to be white, just stop looking like complete morons. Stop acting even dumber. Can we go back to shaking hands and looking into the eyes of another human being, please? I've had enough. I'm doing my part. No more fist-bumps. I just slap the top of the hand like I'm giving a 2 year old a fiver. I'm not kidding-it's time we start embracing the white man's overbite when we try to dance. Dead serious, there isn't enough 'cool' to go around. Stop this lame obsession of combining words, like Bromance. Or staycation. Knock it off!!!! And this is why I hate white people. Charles Barkley said it in an interview years ago, and got grilled for it. Well, I'm white and I'm not a big fan of my people, either. And enough with talking about your feelings, no one cares, except two of your friends and your Mom. Not everyday is a Dr. Phil day. Now go watch baseball, turn your visor around frontwards, sit down, shut up and clap when the 6-4-3 double play is turned with perfection. Why won't I shut up? At least I'm funny. My friends call me, they are almost guaranteed a laugh.
Sports-the NBA and NHL had their drafts, anyone care? Me, neither. For different reasons. The NBA-not that talented and TV drags this stuff out. It could be done in 90 minutes. The NHL? Most of us don't get to watch the pros enough (seriously, there's a thousand NBA games on during the week, I get like 3 hockey games-can Bettman get on this already?) so most barely care. We don't get to watch minors hockey or get a Russian/Sweden/Czech game of the week on a random Wednesday night, either. Why not? Then we might know these kids like I knew damn near everyone in the NBA draft from college basketball.
Others are excited about all the trades and free agent signings. Not me, as most don't make any sense. The Fakers sign Ron Artest and let Trevor Ariza go, and they've yet to re-sign Lamar Odom. I hear fans telling me that they're better. And I don't buy it. One reason-Artest and Kobe are going to be going at it in practice and something real dumb is going to happen. And Ariza is younger and cheaper, they should have tried to keep him.
Shaq gets traded to Cleveland. Awesome, now some big slow center is going to clog the land for LeBron. Thanks!! Hedo Turkoglu signs with Toronto and Orlando trades for Vince Carter. Toronto gets a little bit better, but I think Orlando just lost more than they gained, by letting Hedo go and trading Courtney Lee to get Carter.
The best move? 'Sheed is coming to Boston...oh hells yes! A big man who can play defense and hit the open jumper, even 3-pt. distance? Who wants to play in Boston, with a healthy KG? And it's 'Sheed. Maybe we can get a CTC moment on camera. CTC stands for Cut The Check. Between that and 'Ball Don't Lie', I'm ecstatic!!! Here's where that comes from:
Rasheed Wallace, Ball don't lie Bogut
Get ready for fun, because it's coming this season in Boston.
Now as far as hockey goes, I know Chris Pronger got traded to Philly. He'll fit right in and the fans will love him, but I think he's on the downslope of his career. Scott Gomez gets traded to Montreal, and then the Rangers sign Gaborik. Great signing, if he ever stays healthy. I just want the B's to keep this team together for one more season if at all possible. They did awesome things this past season, and if you can allow a team to gel, it could be awesome come next summer.
(There's even a possibility of sweeping the titles this year...shhhh)
Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti both appear to have been murdered. Anyone else thinking maybe we need a week without an athlete or a celebrity dying might be nice? The McNair thing pisses me off more than the Gatti death. McNair was shot in his sleep by his girlfriend...but he was married. I'm going to state this for the umpteenth time, if you don't think you can be faithful, don't get married. There's temptation everywhere, but have enough respect for your spouse not to cheat. Now, we don't know everything, but think about your family. I would have thought that would stop most people from cheating. I've been propositioned in the past, seemed like a pretty easy decision...thanks, but no. I know what I had at the time, and didn't need to chuck that away for a roll in the hay. What, just for some strange? It just didn't seem worth it, and it rarely is.
Read this and make sense of it...I tried 3 times and my head hurts, still. I thought this thing would be settled on a field, not in a courthouse. What do I know?
You stay classy, Richard Jefferson. I'm broke and I wouldn't dump a woman like this.
This is an awesome website!!! Dedicated to one of the best college hoops games, ever. Yup, I said that, too.
Lastly, I won't link to it, but there is a huge buzz going on about Erin Andrews of ESPN and someone filming her through a reverse peephole. I hope they find this creep and nail him to the wall. This is beyond creepy. It's beyond stalkerish, at least to me. The day is coming, and mark my words, were we as a people are going to have a weirdo episode with yet another one of these wackjobs and someone will end up dead. Mark David Chapman ringing any bells? This story is nuts, and not in the good way.
To leave on a good note:
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Well, I'm off to do some other stuff, like figure out what's a real email and what's spam from me trying to sell my crap on Craigslist. Happy Sunday, fools!!!
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Now playing: Rick Ross - Maybach Music 2 (Feat. T-Pain, Lil Wayne And Kanye West)
via FoxyTunes
Friday, July 17, 2009
clearing some space
So with me preparing to end a lease and move, it dawned on me that other than my previous rant, I haven't written anything in quite awhile. Well, if I'm going thru old boxes and chucking stuff, I might as well clear some shelf space on the ol' noodle, too.
Now, other than the obligatory 'Why on God's green earth did I save this?' moments that have filled up the last couple of days, the really frightening items I've come across are pictures and letters from old girlfriends, flings, etc. And I mean WOW. The only sad part is that I know I've written some things that will now go down in the same fashion when someone else finds a dusty old box like 10 years from now. Will my stuff illicit the same reactions? I doubt it highly. Most of my reactions were very similar to the stuff I saved, as in...WHY, oh why did I save this crap? Pictures of ex-girlfriends? I know exactly how they got in the box, too. I was moving and chucked them in there, never to look at them until now, and it's been at least 5 years. Yikes. I'd like to say at least my taste has gone up, my heart kinder, and my tolerance for bullshit is still low. Some things never change. Let's just say that I cut the amount of crap I have down significantly.
Now, I promised two postings ago that there would be some folks that I would be coming after, so here goes:
Barbara Boxer. I may be a little late to the party to want to bitchslap the bitch, but if there's any left of her douchey carcass lying around, can I get a shot in, please? If you're wondering why, please watch the following:
Barbara Boxer to General: Call me "Senator," not "Ma'am"
Now, if you don't know what's wrong with this, allow me to explain. First, the Brigadier General was speaking to her appropriately. Second, he's done way more to 'earn' his title than Senator Boxer. Third, maybe it's me, but this seems just a tad rude. And lastly, when told that she was wrong, did she apologize? Well, if she did, then it was done privately, as opposed to try and be a rude snobbish witch and dress down a person of high character. Senator Boxer, enjoy your title. If anyone else is in California when your next election comes up, I'd play this on a loop if I were your opponent-and whoop your old tired Washington-entitled fat bloomer wearin' ass from pillar to post. If I were to meet you I'd ask you one question, 'who the hell do you think you are to talk to anyone, let alone a Brigadier General, like that?' Title does not dictate behavior madam. Learn some decorum, it'll help you in the next line you'll be in-soup kitchen.
Michael Jackson. So I went to get rid of/sell off the rest of my CD's this afternoon, and at the counter were MJ posters. I asked the guy taking my boxes (that's right I said boxes) of CD's if MJ sales were 'brisk' after the King of Pop's passing. He told me he was done with the whole thing about two days after it happened, and he was kind of huffy about it. It didn't seem like he was having a great day. We've all been there. So I asked a simple question-that I was going to get myself a slurpee, if I could get him one. He laughed out loud. See, something that simple can brighten up someone else's day. Now, on to Michael. Poor misjudged, misguided Michael. First, a word about Michael from Katt Williams (about the 1:15 mark):
katt williams - michael jackson
Now, I could leave it alone with that alone, because I laughed my ass off when I heard this while nodding my head. Mind you, that as a guy who aspires to be a standup comic, I could never say certain things he says. Now, here's my thoughts on Michael-
The Man-conflicted as hell. We may soon find out that he was a drug addict. That the reason his nasal cavity was collapsing was due to too many surgeries and drugs. I also happen to think he was a pedophile, and that if he wasn't rich, he'd be in jail. I also think that the comeback tour he was about to go on would have blown away anything we'd ever seen as a public. I know I wouldn't support it, but plenty would. And if you don't believe me, why don't you go look it up in iTunes who is still leading the downloads. We definitely aren't that bright as a people, and Michael's death is a perfect example. Where the hell were all these people? There weren't this many supporting him at his last trial.
The Music-alright look, I can't lie. The man could sing, brought grooves out and was a hell of a dancer. Hell, I'll give him this, the man could entertain. The only thing that gets me creased is that people managed to forget about how great most of his music was, until he died. Then every radio station wouldn't stop playing it. It's the definition of overkill. And then to hear all these memories about what a great person he was....apparently they forgot about a lot of things. Mostly the music.
What Happened?-We may not know for a good while longer. What we do know is that he was on some heavy duty drugs, the kind of drugs that knock you out before surgery. I'd be willing to bet someone is going to jail for this. But I think that there is more than one doctor involved, too. The fact that the DEA is involved should tell you this is more than just a simple overdose.
Now, for the aftermath. The 'Celebration'-are you people in LA serious?? Look, I'm sure that there are perfectly nice, relatively normal folks out in la-la land, but cut me a break. Your whole state is in the hole by about $26 Billion, yet you offer up the Staples Center? Was that building privately or publicly funded? Once that is out of the way, what about you folks performing? Did it slip your mind that this man has had two marriages that were shams, that he hung one of his kids out a window by the ankle? How about the (at least) two serious allegations of child molestation/sexual assualt? How could you perform knowing this? At the very least, I'm glad I got a reminder on how hypocritical HollyWeird is.
Jamie Foxx-really? Get to the 1:04 mark to figure out what I'm talking about:
Jamie foxx giving tribute to Mj on Bet...
"He Belongs to us"? Really? Funny, I sure didn't see you looking out for him the last, oh, I don't know, 10 years. Considering that Blacks make up roughly 13% of this country's population, sure seems like a whole lot of 'white money' went to Michael Jackson, now doesn't it? Better yet, what color was he trying to be? And his nose, did that look like a black man or a white woman? I'm just sayin'...don't make this a race thing, you'll lose, terribly. One more note on the BET Awards, I don't want to hear Magic Johnson talking about what a great man Michael Jackson was. Magic, you lost the ability to talk about how great any man ever was or is the umpteenth moment you nailed a woman not your wife. Oh, and for even putting her in the position to get HIV. Sit down and tell me what my interest rate is on my Rent-A-Center couch, please!!!
Al Sharpton-can't make this whole thing a race issue without the race pimp himself. Just a quick reminder on how Reverend Al got his claim to fame...he said white cops in NYC raped a black woman. One slight problem, never happened. And he never apologized, why? Because blacks are treated unfairly by cops in NYC. Even if that were true, what the hell does that have to do with those cops? Now, as far as Michael Jackson goes, the good Reverend wants a stamp to commemorate him, because he was bigger than Elvis. Those aren't my words, those are Al's words. Once this came out, there was finally a public voice of reason, a man to be praised and cheered, Rep. Peter King from the state of New York:
Congressman Peter King [NY]: Coverage of Michael Jackson Excessive, Misplaced
Thank you Mr. King!!! Just curious, but do you remember hearing about any of our men and women overseas dying? Me, neither. And that's what's pathetic. You cry and weep for Michael and his Circus-style family, all the meanwhile there are parents and family members of real heroes dying to protect our freedom, our screwed up way of life, and maybe even give another country some hope of freedom, they get nothing from us as a public, other than now we can see their caskets being wheeled off the plane. That is beyond despicable.
Paris Jackson-publicity stunt? Would you put it past the Jackson family? In all seriousness, I would not. I couldn't watch it. It was a deplorable act by a desperate family. I have no doubt that little girl misses her Father. I miss mine, too. But I'd be damned if my family put me on TV at age 13 for the world to see. Some moments are public, and some are private. This to me screams of putting a child, yes a child, on the pedestal to be the face of that messed up trainwreck called the Jacksons.
Joe Jackson-here's what I want to know...we've all read, heard or scene the reports and shows about how abusive this man was to his entire family, especially Michael. Now he's all over TV, and he's front and center of the Memorial and award shows. Why??? If my old man beat me, told me I was ugly and would never amount to squat, you better believe that my family would know to keep him in the background. Now he's the face of the family? Where the hell is Tito? Jermaine? Or even Randy? Hell, put LaToya up front and center, but not Joe.
I will miss Michael the entertainer, plain and simple. But he was one screwed up man. There is no getting around it. Moonwalk in hell, pal, because child molesters don't get to the Pearly Gates, no matter how many records they sell:
MJNews - Michael Jackson - Billie Jean Motown 25th Anniversary
Now, onto another topic that makes me oh so very happy. Look, here in Colorado, we've got some things that are pissing the public off. Most important as of late, is the raise in car registration fees. This has apparently angered some folks that DMV has hired security. Quick question, if you have to hire extra security, how much money is the state really taking in? But the state did get something right, and that was not only canning Ward Churchill, but telling him to go pound sand when he thought he should get his job back, or damages, or a new hair scrunchy. Don't know, don't care, want this academic fraud to go away. And I hope, hope, hope that if he comes back around with some other frivilous legal motion that my 'loser pays' system is in place, so that the $1 he was awarded is gone in an instant.
Next up, TMZ. I won't lie, I check it out once in awhile. But Alec Baldwin said it in his interview in Playboy....Harvey Levin, the founder of TMZ, is a cancer. I couldn't agree more. For one simple reason-they represent the persnickity, the snippy, the bitter, and they believe in the power of Haterade. They hate on everyone. There is no one other than their small-minded friends that they agree with. They are no better than the media elite. They pride themselves in showing us the misery of 'celebrities'. People fall down all the time, be it literally or drug and alcohol abuse. I wonder how well any of us would do with a camera shoved in our face at all times.
Alec also had some other things in his article I agreed with (yes, I can read the damn magazine, and usually do), mostly about parents going thru divorce and how the courts, judges and lawyers really aren't looking out for the interest of the family or more importantly the child(ren). They're looking for billable hours. Just remember what Shakespeare said, "First, kill all the lawyers". Funny, that's made sense for a good 400 years now.
Now, for my Republican bashing. It's quite simple...do you morons not know how to keep your freaking fly's zipped??? How difficult is it to be faithful, really? And this public apology crap has go to stop. You have families, and you've neglected the most important part...most of these idiots think that their lady should stand by their man. Mad props to the governor from South Carolina's wife for not showing up next to him for his speech. She has 4 kids to protect from the spotlight. Finally, someone who 'gets it'. Those kids didn't do anything to be in the public light, yet because Daddy couldn't keep the genie in the bottle they have to suffer? Don't seem right to me. I'm just glad someone finally had the good sense to say, 'look, it's your penis that made the problem, so you go face the firing squad alone.' I can't imagine the humiliation that must feel like. I've been cheated on, but not as a public figure, and certainly not on that grand of a scale. I felt like hurling. And I for damn sure didn't want to hang out after I found out. Of those that have cheated on me, let's just say we ain't friends.
Alright, I'm tired. Been a long few days of getting rid of stuff, some great, some hilarious, some downright frightening. All in all, things work out the way they are supposed to. I'll write more this weekend. And don't worry, Manny is still in my sights.
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Now playing: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Pen & Paper
via FoxyTunes
Now, other than the obligatory 'Why on God's green earth did I save this?' moments that have filled up the last couple of days, the really frightening items I've come across are pictures and letters from old girlfriends, flings, etc. And I mean WOW. The only sad part is that I know I've written some things that will now go down in the same fashion when someone else finds a dusty old box like 10 years from now. Will my stuff illicit the same reactions? I doubt it highly. Most of my reactions were very similar to the stuff I saved, as in...WHY, oh why did I save this crap? Pictures of ex-girlfriends? I know exactly how they got in the box, too. I was moving and chucked them in there, never to look at them until now, and it's been at least 5 years. Yikes. I'd like to say at least my taste has gone up, my heart kinder, and my tolerance for bullshit is still low. Some things never change. Let's just say that I cut the amount of crap I have down significantly.
Now, I promised two postings ago that there would be some folks that I would be coming after, so here goes:
Barbara Boxer. I may be a little late to the party to want to bitchslap the bitch, but if there's any left of her douchey carcass lying around, can I get a shot in, please? If you're wondering why, please watch the following:
Barbara Boxer to General: Call me "Senator," not "Ma'am"
Now, if you don't know what's wrong with this, allow me to explain. First, the Brigadier General was speaking to her appropriately. Second, he's done way more to 'earn' his title than Senator Boxer. Third, maybe it's me, but this seems just a tad rude. And lastly, when told that she was wrong, did she apologize? Well, if she did, then it was done privately, as opposed to try and be a rude snobbish witch and dress down a person of high character. Senator Boxer, enjoy your title. If anyone else is in California when your next election comes up, I'd play this on a loop if I were your opponent-and whoop your old tired Washington-entitled fat bloomer wearin' ass from pillar to post. If I were to meet you I'd ask you one question, 'who the hell do you think you are to talk to anyone, let alone a Brigadier General, like that?' Title does not dictate behavior madam. Learn some decorum, it'll help you in the next line you'll be in-soup kitchen.
Michael Jackson. So I went to get rid of/sell off the rest of my CD's this afternoon, and at the counter were MJ posters. I asked the guy taking my boxes (that's right I said boxes) of CD's if MJ sales were 'brisk' after the King of Pop's passing. He told me he was done with the whole thing about two days after it happened, and he was kind of huffy about it. It didn't seem like he was having a great day. We've all been there. So I asked a simple question-that I was going to get myself a slurpee, if I could get him one. He laughed out loud. See, something that simple can brighten up someone else's day. Now, on to Michael. Poor misjudged, misguided Michael. First, a word about Michael from Katt Williams (about the 1:15 mark):
katt williams - michael jackson
Now, I could leave it alone with that alone, because I laughed my ass off when I heard this while nodding my head. Mind you, that as a guy who aspires to be a standup comic, I could never say certain things he says. Now, here's my thoughts on Michael-
The Man-conflicted as hell. We may soon find out that he was a drug addict. That the reason his nasal cavity was collapsing was due to too many surgeries and drugs. I also happen to think he was a pedophile, and that if he wasn't rich, he'd be in jail. I also think that the comeback tour he was about to go on would have blown away anything we'd ever seen as a public. I know I wouldn't support it, but plenty would. And if you don't believe me, why don't you go look it up in iTunes who is still leading the downloads. We definitely aren't that bright as a people, and Michael's death is a perfect example. Where the hell were all these people? There weren't this many supporting him at his last trial.
The Music-alright look, I can't lie. The man could sing, brought grooves out and was a hell of a dancer. Hell, I'll give him this, the man could entertain. The only thing that gets me creased is that people managed to forget about how great most of his music was, until he died. Then every radio station wouldn't stop playing it. It's the definition of overkill. And then to hear all these memories about what a great person he was....apparently they forgot about a lot of things. Mostly the music.
What Happened?-We may not know for a good while longer. What we do know is that he was on some heavy duty drugs, the kind of drugs that knock you out before surgery. I'd be willing to bet someone is going to jail for this. But I think that there is more than one doctor involved, too. The fact that the DEA is involved should tell you this is more than just a simple overdose.
Now, for the aftermath. The 'Celebration'-are you people in LA serious?? Look, I'm sure that there are perfectly nice, relatively normal folks out in la-la land, but cut me a break. Your whole state is in the hole by about $26 Billion, yet you offer up the Staples Center? Was that building privately or publicly funded? Once that is out of the way, what about you folks performing? Did it slip your mind that this man has had two marriages that were shams, that he hung one of his kids out a window by the ankle? How about the (at least) two serious allegations of child molestation/sexual assualt? How could you perform knowing this? At the very least, I'm glad I got a reminder on how hypocritical HollyWeird is.
Jamie Foxx-really? Get to the 1:04 mark to figure out what I'm talking about:
Jamie foxx giving tribute to Mj on Bet...
"He Belongs to us"? Really? Funny, I sure didn't see you looking out for him the last, oh, I don't know, 10 years. Considering that Blacks make up roughly 13% of this country's population, sure seems like a whole lot of 'white money' went to Michael Jackson, now doesn't it? Better yet, what color was he trying to be? And his nose, did that look like a black man or a white woman? I'm just sayin'...don't make this a race thing, you'll lose, terribly. One more note on the BET Awards, I don't want to hear Magic Johnson talking about what a great man Michael Jackson was. Magic, you lost the ability to talk about how great any man ever was or is the umpteenth moment you nailed a woman not your wife. Oh, and for even putting her in the position to get HIV. Sit down and tell me what my interest rate is on my Rent-A-Center couch, please!!!
Al Sharpton-can't make this whole thing a race issue without the race pimp himself. Just a quick reminder on how Reverend Al got his claim to fame...he said white cops in NYC raped a black woman. One slight problem, never happened. And he never apologized, why? Because blacks are treated unfairly by cops in NYC. Even if that were true, what the hell does that have to do with those cops? Now, as far as Michael Jackson goes, the good Reverend wants a stamp to commemorate him, because he was bigger than Elvis. Those aren't my words, those are Al's words. Once this came out, there was finally a public voice of reason, a man to be praised and cheered, Rep. Peter King from the state of New York:
Congressman Peter King [NY]: Coverage of Michael Jackson Excessive, Misplaced
Thank you Mr. King!!! Just curious, but do you remember hearing about any of our men and women overseas dying? Me, neither. And that's what's pathetic. You cry and weep for Michael and his Circus-style family, all the meanwhile there are parents and family members of real heroes dying to protect our freedom, our screwed up way of life, and maybe even give another country some hope of freedom, they get nothing from us as a public, other than now we can see their caskets being wheeled off the plane. That is beyond despicable.
Paris Jackson-publicity stunt? Would you put it past the Jackson family? In all seriousness, I would not. I couldn't watch it. It was a deplorable act by a desperate family. I have no doubt that little girl misses her Father. I miss mine, too. But I'd be damned if my family put me on TV at age 13 for the world to see. Some moments are public, and some are private. This to me screams of putting a child, yes a child, on the pedestal to be the face of that messed up trainwreck called the Jacksons.
Joe Jackson-here's what I want to know...we've all read, heard or scene the reports and shows about how abusive this man was to his entire family, especially Michael. Now he's all over TV, and he's front and center of the Memorial and award shows. Why??? If my old man beat me, told me I was ugly and would never amount to squat, you better believe that my family would know to keep him in the background. Now he's the face of the family? Where the hell is Tito? Jermaine? Or even Randy? Hell, put LaToya up front and center, but not Joe.
I will miss Michael the entertainer, plain and simple. But he was one screwed up man. There is no getting around it. Moonwalk in hell, pal, because child molesters don't get to the Pearly Gates, no matter how many records they sell:
MJNews - Michael Jackson - Billie Jean Motown 25th Anniversary
Now, onto another topic that makes me oh so very happy. Look, here in Colorado, we've got some things that are pissing the public off. Most important as of late, is the raise in car registration fees. This has apparently angered some folks that DMV has hired security. Quick question, if you have to hire extra security, how much money is the state really taking in? But the state did get something right, and that was not only canning Ward Churchill, but telling him to go pound sand when he thought he should get his job back, or damages, or a new hair scrunchy. Don't know, don't care, want this academic fraud to go away. And I hope, hope, hope that if he comes back around with some other frivilous legal motion that my 'loser pays' system is in place, so that the $1 he was awarded is gone in an instant.
Next up, TMZ. I won't lie, I check it out once in awhile. But Alec Baldwin said it in his interview in Playboy....Harvey Levin, the founder of TMZ, is a cancer. I couldn't agree more. For one simple reason-they represent the persnickity, the snippy, the bitter, and they believe in the power of Haterade. They hate on everyone. There is no one other than their small-minded friends that they agree with. They are no better than the media elite. They pride themselves in showing us the misery of 'celebrities'. People fall down all the time, be it literally or drug and alcohol abuse. I wonder how well any of us would do with a camera shoved in our face at all times.
Alec also had some other things in his article I agreed with (yes, I can read the damn magazine, and usually do), mostly about parents going thru divorce and how the courts, judges and lawyers really aren't looking out for the interest of the family or more importantly the child(ren). They're looking for billable hours. Just remember what Shakespeare said, "First, kill all the lawyers". Funny, that's made sense for a good 400 years now.
Now, for my Republican bashing. It's quite simple...do you morons not know how to keep your freaking fly's zipped??? How difficult is it to be faithful, really? And this public apology crap has go to stop. You have families, and you've neglected the most important part...most of these idiots think that their lady should stand by their man. Mad props to the governor from South Carolina's wife for not showing up next to him for his speech. She has 4 kids to protect from the spotlight. Finally, someone who 'gets it'. Those kids didn't do anything to be in the public light, yet because Daddy couldn't keep the genie in the bottle they have to suffer? Don't seem right to me. I'm just glad someone finally had the good sense to say, 'look, it's your penis that made the problem, so you go face the firing squad alone.' I can't imagine the humiliation that must feel like. I've been cheated on, but not as a public figure, and certainly not on that grand of a scale. I felt like hurling. And I for damn sure didn't want to hang out after I found out. Of those that have cheated on me, let's just say we ain't friends.
Alright, I'm tired. Been a long few days of getting rid of stuff, some great, some hilarious, some downright frightening. All in all, things work out the way they are supposed to. I'll write more this weekend. And don't worry, Manny is still in my sights.
----------------
Now playing: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Pen & Paper
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Well this would certainly qualify as What in the hell.....
Talk about some of your all-time 'WTF?' type deals-I accept one girl as a friend on facebook from high school-as in we went to the same high school at the same time, but weren't friends-and yet another crush is revealed. Fan-freaking-tastic. This makes it 3 from high school and 1 from Denver. Best part? Every one of them is getting out of a marriage or serious relationship. Do I look like the relationship savior? Nope, I'm just the Civic in the garage. Ol' reliable.
Well, this one wants to fly me out to go to a wedding with her. After 1 (as in one, uno, un...pick a language, singular) email, I get asked to go to a wedding back east. She'll pay for everything. I have no clue how to decline politely, but I'll have to figure it out. I'm flattered and impressed-she's living for the day, and that's to be commended. But I ain't the one. And if someone flies you out and pays for things, certain, ahem, 'services' I'm probably expected to provide. Sorry, I'm no one's ho. 5'10" and around 250 lbs do not a jiggalo make. At least not in my case. I clean up well, but this is way out of my realm of things to do on a weekend.
Of course, the above is all crap. If I were interested in the woman, I'd be on the next plane. But I'm not. Not remotely. Wish her the best of luck in her divorce (yup, you read that right) and hope she lands on her feet. Again, I ain't the one.
Am I to believe that you only get what you put out there? If that's the case, time to go a different route. I thought I was being a nice person, not putting myself out there for the world to date, certainly not be the rebound guy.
Stay tuned.....
Well, this one wants to fly me out to go to a wedding with her. After 1 (as in one, uno, un...pick a language, singular) email, I get asked to go to a wedding back east. She'll pay for everything. I have no clue how to decline politely, but I'll have to figure it out. I'm flattered and impressed-she's living for the day, and that's to be commended. But I ain't the one. And if someone flies you out and pays for things, certain, ahem, 'services' I'm probably expected to provide. Sorry, I'm no one's ho. 5'10" and around 250 lbs do not a jiggalo make. At least not in my case. I clean up well, but this is way out of my realm of things to do on a weekend.
Of course, the above is all crap. If I were interested in the woman, I'd be on the next plane. But I'm not. Not remotely. Wish her the best of luck in her divorce (yup, you read that right) and hope she lands on her feet. Again, I ain't the one.
Am I to believe that you only get what you put out there? If that's the case, time to go a different route. I thought I was being a nice person, not putting myself out there for the world to date, certainly not be the rebound guy.
Stay tuned.....
Monday, July 6, 2009
Front Street
Has anyone heard me use this phrase before? I know some have. What does it mean? Sometimes your friends cock-block you when you're out talking to a couple of females and they just say some info that doesn't need to be put out there. And sometimes, and in this case, you have to put yourself out there, so this is me kind of calling me out. And it's a public apology.
My head hasn't been straight the last few days. Not an excuse, an explanation. If you've made it past the 3rd grade, you ought to be able to comprehend that last sentence. I've apparently compressed some stuff that when added to losing a job and about to lose an apartment and some other realizations, well, I shut down. It's great that I have some close friends who look out for me, even if they're not quite sure how. Some of them do know what's up, and I've thanked them and will continue to do so. And the only reason that they do know anything is because they've asked. More like pried the info out of me, but they've definitely pursued the info, and they got it. No need to worry, my world is not crumbling around me, just frustrated at the nonsense and the efforts made by me to straighten some of this garbage out. It's getting sifted, slowly but surely. Since I'm being all honest, one of my best friends pestered me enough that I finally let some of it out. And I now realize how much I've been banging my head up against the wall and just have to let some things be the way that they are. If I were to be right about everything, well, it would be awfully boring and I'd have nothing to write about. And you'd have nothing to read about on the can, on the bus, during a meeting or whatever. Now what good would that do?
I learned this lesson about the personal front street from 3 people, two very important to me, and one I'm not even a huge fan of. The two people who I care about that taught me this are my Ma & Pops. They told me that if I couldn't be honest with myself then it was pointless to try and expect anyone to be honest with you. Fair enough. The other person that I snagged this from was watching Howard Stern in 'Private Parts'. He stated (and I'm paraphrasing here) that if he didn't talk about his personal life then he'd be a fraud and have no audience. Like he was telling an incomplete truth. Now, Howard was/is pretty successful, and if you go based on the two boys that they raised, I'd consider Ma & Pops a success. To add to this lesson, another one is to own up to your mistakes, apologize, and hope that they can find it in their heart to forgive you. If you're sincere, chances are they will. At least in this case, that's what I'm hoping. If you don't want to read this because it's only addressed to her, skip a paragraph or two. If you do, here goes...
Katelyn, I'm sorry. I wrote that last blog post without malice. You can choose to believe that, or not. But it is the truth. I don't have the wherewithall to be mean enough to purposefully to hurt someone, especially you, in something I write. I know, I could have gone back right after hitting the 'publish' button and quickly added your name, and no one would know the difference. But it wouldn't have been honest. As soon as I read it after I published it I made the choice to keep it as is. And then I sent you a text message, pretty much saying 'my bad'. I'm not sure if I can put into words, but I'm going to try. Since this is my forum, no one can yell at me. You can choose to ignore me after you've read it. We shall see. So why aren't you a friend? Good question-maybe it's a 'time served' thing. Nah, that's not it, and it would be too simple of a cop-out. I didn't give the title of this post Front Street for nothing. Our history hasn't exactly been a smooth one. But I'm pretty sure it's because I want more. You know that. So you'd be more than a friend, kind of a super-friend. Lame, I know. Just my thoughts. That's all this blog is most of the time. But I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm sure I could muster up the meanness to do so if I wanted, but you know that's never been my intention, that's not what's in my head nor in my heart. I can only tell you that while I'm certain other guys are chasing, and I wish them the best of luck, well-I really don't. What kind of idiot tells any other guy interested in the same woman 'Good Luck'? Even I am not that damn foolish. Chris Rock has a joke where he states you'll never find anyone like you, someone who likes Seinfeld and the Wu-Tang Clan. And maybe he was right. But we have certain similar interests. And maybe one day whatever 'this' is could be something. Heck, it could be nothing more than it is right now. It could turn into less than this, I'm well aware. My intention for that blog posting was just a review of 12 years of me being in Denver, and while you've been a part of it, it wasn't a 'girls I've liked' posting. Not an excuse, an explanation. Most of the people that read this know exactly what kind of an idiot I've been when it comes to you, that even I would've called me a dumbass by now. Not that I care what they think when it comes to you. It's my life, hell, it's my blog. I'm just sayin'....
So for those that read this, g'head, mock away. I don't care. This was really only for one person, but if I don't let the rest of you into my numbnut world then I'm doing a disservice to myself and to my friends. That's not how I do things. It can't be. Sometimes I get burned for saying things, or for holding them back. Well, not this time. I mean, I could get burned, but I can live with that possibility knowing I left it out there for people to see.
For those that didn't read it and won't, your call. I plan on totally ripping into some folks in the next few days...and in case you'd like a preview, Barbara Boxer, Michael Jackson, TMZ, Alec Baldwin (you'll be surprised, really), Republicans and their penises (just wait, you'll see, I can attack them, too!), those idiots on Capitol Hill spending all our money on uselessness, and Manny...oh, Manny. I thought I was going to let bygones be bygones, but not after this past weekend. Nope, you've done stepped in it now, Sideshow ManRam.
My head hasn't been straight the last few days. Not an excuse, an explanation. If you've made it past the 3rd grade, you ought to be able to comprehend that last sentence. I've apparently compressed some stuff that when added to losing a job and about to lose an apartment and some other realizations, well, I shut down. It's great that I have some close friends who look out for me, even if they're not quite sure how. Some of them do know what's up, and I've thanked them and will continue to do so. And the only reason that they do know anything is because they've asked. More like pried the info out of me, but they've definitely pursued the info, and they got it. No need to worry, my world is not crumbling around me, just frustrated at the nonsense and the efforts made by me to straighten some of this garbage out. It's getting sifted, slowly but surely. Since I'm being all honest, one of my best friends pestered me enough that I finally let some of it out. And I now realize how much I've been banging my head up against the wall and just have to let some things be the way that they are. If I were to be right about everything, well, it would be awfully boring and I'd have nothing to write about. And you'd have nothing to read about on the can, on the bus, during a meeting or whatever. Now what good would that do?
I learned this lesson about the personal front street from 3 people, two very important to me, and one I'm not even a huge fan of. The two people who I care about that taught me this are my Ma & Pops. They told me that if I couldn't be honest with myself then it was pointless to try and expect anyone to be honest with you. Fair enough. The other person that I snagged this from was watching Howard Stern in 'Private Parts'. He stated (and I'm paraphrasing here) that if he didn't talk about his personal life then he'd be a fraud and have no audience. Like he was telling an incomplete truth. Now, Howard was/is pretty successful, and if you go based on the two boys that they raised, I'd consider Ma & Pops a success. To add to this lesson, another one is to own up to your mistakes, apologize, and hope that they can find it in their heart to forgive you. If you're sincere, chances are they will. At least in this case, that's what I'm hoping. If you don't want to read this because it's only addressed to her, skip a paragraph or two. If you do, here goes...
Katelyn, I'm sorry. I wrote that last blog post without malice. You can choose to believe that, or not. But it is the truth. I don't have the wherewithall to be mean enough to purposefully to hurt someone, especially you, in something I write. I know, I could have gone back right after hitting the 'publish' button and quickly added your name, and no one would know the difference. But it wouldn't have been honest. As soon as I read it after I published it I made the choice to keep it as is. And then I sent you a text message, pretty much saying 'my bad'. I'm not sure if I can put into words, but I'm going to try. Since this is my forum, no one can yell at me. You can choose to ignore me after you've read it. We shall see. So why aren't you a friend? Good question-maybe it's a 'time served' thing. Nah, that's not it, and it would be too simple of a cop-out. I didn't give the title of this post Front Street for nothing. Our history hasn't exactly been a smooth one. But I'm pretty sure it's because I want more. You know that. So you'd be more than a friend, kind of a super-friend. Lame, I know. Just my thoughts. That's all this blog is most of the time. But I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm sure I could muster up the meanness to do so if I wanted, but you know that's never been my intention, that's not what's in my head nor in my heart. I can only tell you that while I'm certain other guys are chasing, and I wish them the best of luck, well-I really don't. What kind of idiot tells any other guy interested in the same woman 'Good Luck'? Even I am not that damn foolish. Chris Rock has a joke where he states you'll never find anyone like you, someone who likes Seinfeld and the Wu-Tang Clan. And maybe he was right. But we have certain similar interests. And maybe one day whatever 'this' is could be something. Heck, it could be nothing more than it is right now. It could turn into less than this, I'm well aware. My intention for that blog posting was just a review of 12 years of me being in Denver, and while you've been a part of it, it wasn't a 'girls I've liked' posting. Not an excuse, an explanation. Most of the people that read this know exactly what kind of an idiot I've been when it comes to you, that even I would've called me a dumbass by now. Not that I care what they think when it comes to you. It's my life, hell, it's my blog. I'm just sayin'....
So for those that read this, g'head, mock away. I don't care. This was really only for one person, but if I don't let the rest of you into my numbnut world then I'm doing a disservice to myself and to my friends. That's not how I do things. It can't be. Sometimes I get burned for saying things, or for holding them back. Well, not this time. I mean, I could get burned, but I can live with that possibility knowing I left it out there for people to see.
For those that didn't read it and won't, your call. I plan on totally ripping into some folks in the next few days...and in case you'd like a preview, Barbara Boxer, Michael Jackson, TMZ, Alec Baldwin (you'll be surprised, really), Republicans and their penises (just wait, you'll see, I can attack them, too!), those idiots on Capitol Hill spending all our money on uselessness, and Manny...oh, Manny. I thought I was going to let bygones be bygones, but not after this past weekend. Nope, you've done stepped in it now, Sideshow ManRam.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Time in a vacuum?
In checking the calendar today, something came over me. Wasn't fear, sadness, but complete and utter 'WTF'-ness. Why? Well, 12 years ago I crossed the state line with my Uncle Fran and Pops from Kansas into Colorado. And since then, boy oh boy have some things changed while others have remained relatively the same. I left my Gram's house, then left Uncle Fran's house, with my Ma crying in the background, hopped in a new Ford Explorer trailing a boat. What do I remember most about the trip?
A few things, actually. We went up to Binghamton, NY to visit Uncle Fran's relatives. I won't go into more detail on that, as my memory is kind of fuzzy on that one. We visited Uncle Uck, or Chuck to others, in some podunk town in Pennsylvania. He's now running a diner, I know that much. It was kind of cool, in that patriotic small town kind of way. Everyone had flags on their front porch, 9/11 was eons away and far from anyone's thoughts. The biggest news story happened right before I left, Mike Tyson biting off Holyfield's ear and the rest of us wondering how low he could go. Well, here it is 12 years later and I'd say that after seeing Iron Mike's performance in 'The Hangover' his rep is on the rise. I remember the funniest guys on the radio were from Indianapolis-they were doing a bit on 'Tyson's chicken ears' that made us laugh. Could've been the exhaustion of the road, but it was hilarious, all 3 of us had tears running down our face. I remember Kansas never ending, and every 5 miles there was an ad for a fireworks stand, and being able to see that ad from the last one because Kansas is so stinking flat. We also couldn't go past 60 MPH or else the boat we were trailing would sway. That boat, for the record, was never used while Uncle Fran lived in Colorado for 8 years, but it held most of my crappy clothes, so it was great for storage. Never discount the value of a 'family' road-trip.
I don't regret for one second the day I decided I wanted out of New England. It was such an easy choice back then, as the only job offers I was getting were to go into restaurant management (at a Fridays-ick) or to take a crappy accountant job making $20K. Well, considering I had cleared that and then some the previous year waiting tables and slinging drinks, I thought I could do better. And I got an offer to come out to Denver, and I took it. I had benefits from Day One, and the chance for OT and my foot in the door of an exciting, new-ish, IT company. All of my friends said I wouldn't leave. 6 weeks after walking down the aisle to get my diploma (I know, I didn't really graduate until November, but I got to walk), I was gone, off to the Rocky Mountains. Yes, once I got to the Kansas/Colorado border I didn't see any mountains, so I said the line so many of us have said, quoting Jeff Daniels in Dumb & Dumber, 'That Jon Denver is full of shit'. Huge laugh then, bigger chuckle now.
I had a letter in my hand that stated how much I was going to make. Based off of that, I got a crappy apartment and a car. Pops and I almost came to blows in the middle of a street because he was yelling at me how to drive a stick. Funny thing, being his son, I quickly could yell just as fast and as loud, and our relationship was well on its way to being something far better than I thought it would ever be.
My first drive into my new job was hilarious, as I was frantically trying to find a traffic report, since being from the Boston area I knew all about "Traffic on the 3's". And if you don't know about that, I'd be willing to bet a large sum of money that the same traffic report is done on the 3's at AM 1030 WBZ. Well, I found the traffic report, and was apparently in the middle of a traffic jam doing 65. I walked into my initial training class way too young, much younger than everyone except my trainer, who was like 10 years older than me, and the other people had no clue what to make of me. Where am I from? Boston-it's just easier to say that than Nashua, NH, especially when my last known address was in Saugus, MA-living with Gram. And I was still laughing about the traffic, thinking out loud that if that was these fine folks idea of traffic, I was about to love it here. And for the most part, I think I have.
So after 12 years, what do I have to say? Plenty. First, what the hell happened to my hair? Second, my pallette for eating has changed dramatically. And lastly, I have made friends with some people that will stay forever. My parents were kind enough to suggest that I write a few notes down as they came to me for the first few months I was here, and I obliged them. It wasn't even for them to read. They asked me to do it for myself, so that I could go back in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years to see where I've come as a man. Boy, were they ever right. Funny how much smarter they got the OLDER I got. Weird, I know.
I wrote down 3 things I wanted to do while I was out here, for however long. Now, this may read as corny as hell to the rest of you, but remember, I was 21 and moving across the country, my vision to anything outside of New England was NYC, West Germany and San Francisco-and we're talking a grand total of a month in 21 years being outside of my surroundings. Those 3 things were:
1. Do Stand-Up Comedy
2. Fall in love
3. Learn how to play bass guitar.
Okay, so that last one probably isn't going to happen. I doubt I'll ever be in a band, unless it's a drunken 'Rock Band' kinda night. The second thing was, to elaborate, more to the point-allow myself to not be such an ass and think of someone way more than I thougth of myself. Yup, come to find out that was a mistake. Now that I'm looking back at what my definition of love was, if I were to get in a time machine-I'd slap me silly. I'd figured it out this morning when I looked at the calendar that maybe I'd fallen for someone twice. Wrong! Only happened once, that first one was more of being in love with the idea of love. Lesson learned there.
As for the first one, I've done stand-up. And I'll do it again. And I like it. I'm witty enough to do some decent stuff if I so choose to go down that path. Besides, 2 out of 3 ain't all that bad considering.
So that's briefly looking back 12 years. Friends, real friends-that I've made here in Colorado? Easy-John, Rob, Craig, Bret, Frank, Dom, Anthony, Joe, Dan, Jason, Lance, Michelle, David, Denece, Jen, Matt, Gina, Mike and Andrew, off the top of my head. If I forgot anyone, my bad, this is just off the top of my head. My 3 best friends from back in the day and back home, Kenny, Brian and Jay, well Kenny lives in Toronto, and I got to MC his wedding (awesome!), Brian kinda followed me here and I'll be in his wedding in a couple of months, and Jay is still in back east, and I was already in his wedding and his son is my Godson. All in all, I'm pretty happy about the last 12 years. I've definitely thought about leaving this great state, but to say I'm conflicted would be an understatement.
I'm looking forward to the next 12 MONTHS, just to see how some things play out. Remember, laugh out loud, sing louder and leave it all out there. My Pops advice at a young age were, 'do you really want to ask yourself what if?'. Well, here's a thought-what if I never came out here? I'd never have met the great people listed above, I would never have tried Stand-up, I'd have no idea what green chile is (the horror!!), I'd never know that the Cricket makes a mean burger, the chance of my friend Brian meeting his fiance are about nil, I'd be over 300 lbs with a wife probably just as huge, not knowing all that I know now, and there's a damn good chance I'd be a bouncer on Friday and Saturday nights or worse managing at that same crappy Fridays I last worked at before I moved out here.
I can't thank you enough for reading this far, and for being a part of my goofy existence. I fully expect to laugh more in the next 12 years than I did in the previous, mostly at myself.
Godspeed and God Bless all of you, and have a safe night out there tonight!
A few things, actually. We went up to Binghamton, NY to visit Uncle Fran's relatives. I won't go into more detail on that, as my memory is kind of fuzzy on that one. We visited Uncle Uck, or Chuck to others, in some podunk town in Pennsylvania. He's now running a diner, I know that much. It was kind of cool, in that patriotic small town kind of way. Everyone had flags on their front porch, 9/11 was eons away and far from anyone's thoughts. The biggest news story happened right before I left, Mike Tyson biting off Holyfield's ear and the rest of us wondering how low he could go. Well, here it is 12 years later and I'd say that after seeing Iron Mike's performance in 'The Hangover' his rep is on the rise. I remember the funniest guys on the radio were from Indianapolis-they were doing a bit on 'Tyson's chicken ears' that made us laugh. Could've been the exhaustion of the road, but it was hilarious, all 3 of us had tears running down our face. I remember Kansas never ending, and every 5 miles there was an ad for a fireworks stand, and being able to see that ad from the last one because Kansas is so stinking flat. We also couldn't go past 60 MPH or else the boat we were trailing would sway. That boat, for the record, was never used while Uncle Fran lived in Colorado for 8 years, but it held most of my crappy clothes, so it was great for storage. Never discount the value of a 'family' road-trip.
I don't regret for one second the day I decided I wanted out of New England. It was such an easy choice back then, as the only job offers I was getting were to go into restaurant management (at a Fridays-ick) or to take a crappy accountant job making $20K. Well, considering I had cleared that and then some the previous year waiting tables and slinging drinks, I thought I could do better. And I got an offer to come out to Denver, and I took it. I had benefits from Day One, and the chance for OT and my foot in the door of an exciting, new-ish, IT company. All of my friends said I wouldn't leave. 6 weeks after walking down the aisle to get my diploma (I know, I didn't really graduate until November, but I got to walk), I was gone, off to the Rocky Mountains. Yes, once I got to the Kansas/Colorado border I didn't see any mountains, so I said the line so many of us have said, quoting Jeff Daniels in Dumb & Dumber, 'That Jon Denver is full of shit'. Huge laugh then, bigger chuckle now.
I had a letter in my hand that stated how much I was going to make. Based off of that, I got a crappy apartment and a car. Pops and I almost came to blows in the middle of a street because he was yelling at me how to drive a stick. Funny thing, being his son, I quickly could yell just as fast and as loud, and our relationship was well on its way to being something far better than I thought it would ever be.
My first drive into my new job was hilarious, as I was frantically trying to find a traffic report, since being from the Boston area I knew all about "Traffic on the 3's". And if you don't know about that, I'd be willing to bet a large sum of money that the same traffic report is done on the 3's at AM 1030 WBZ. Well, I found the traffic report, and was apparently in the middle of a traffic jam doing 65. I walked into my initial training class way too young, much younger than everyone except my trainer, who was like 10 years older than me, and the other people had no clue what to make of me. Where am I from? Boston-it's just easier to say that than Nashua, NH, especially when my last known address was in Saugus, MA-living with Gram. And I was still laughing about the traffic, thinking out loud that if that was these fine folks idea of traffic, I was about to love it here. And for the most part, I think I have.
So after 12 years, what do I have to say? Plenty. First, what the hell happened to my hair? Second, my pallette for eating has changed dramatically. And lastly, I have made friends with some people that will stay forever. My parents were kind enough to suggest that I write a few notes down as they came to me for the first few months I was here, and I obliged them. It wasn't even for them to read. They asked me to do it for myself, so that I could go back in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years to see where I've come as a man. Boy, were they ever right. Funny how much smarter they got the OLDER I got. Weird, I know.
I wrote down 3 things I wanted to do while I was out here, for however long. Now, this may read as corny as hell to the rest of you, but remember, I was 21 and moving across the country, my vision to anything outside of New England was NYC, West Germany and San Francisco-and we're talking a grand total of a month in 21 years being outside of my surroundings. Those 3 things were:
1. Do Stand-Up Comedy
2. Fall in love
3. Learn how to play bass guitar.
Okay, so that last one probably isn't going to happen. I doubt I'll ever be in a band, unless it's a drunken 'Rock Band' kinda night. The second thing was, to elaborate, more to the point-allow myself to not be such an ass and think of someone way more than I thougth of myself. Yup, come to find out that was a mistake. Now that I'm looking back at what my definition of love was, if I were to get in a time machine-I'd slap me silly. I'd figured it out this morning when I looked at the calendar that maybe I'd fallen for someone twice. Wrong! Only happened once, that first one was more of being in love with the idea of love. Lesson learned there.
As for the first one, I've done stand-up. And I'll do it again. And I like it. I'm witty enough to do some decent stuff if I so choose to go down that path. Besides, 2 out of 3 ain't all that bad considering.
So that's briefly looking back 12 years. Friends, real friends-that I've made here in Colorado? Easy-John, Rob, Craig, Bret, Frank, Dom, Anthony, Joe, Dan, Jason, Lance, Michelle, David, Denece, Jen, Matt, Gina, Mike and Andrew, off the top of my head. If I forgot anyone, my bad, this is just off the top of my head. My 3 best friends from back in the day and back home, Kenny, Brian and Jay, well Kenny lives in Toronto, and I got to MC his wedding (awesome!), Brian kinda followed me here and I'll be in his wedding in a couple of months, and Jay is still in back east, and I was already in his wedding and his son is my Godson. All in all, I'm pretty happy about the last 12 years. I've definitely thought about leaving this great state, but to say I'm conflicted would be an understatement.
I'm looking forward to the next 12 MONTHS, just to see how some things play out. Remember, laugh out loud, sing louder and leave it all out there. My Pops advice at a young age were, 'do you really want to ask yourself what if?'. Well, here's a thought-what if I never came out here? I'd never have met the great people listed above, I would never have tried Stand-up, I'd have no idea what green chile is (the horror!!), I'd never know that the Cricket makes a mean burger, the chance of my friend Brian meeting his fiance are about nil, I'd be over 300 lbs with a wife probably just as huge, not knowing all that I know now, and there's a damn good chance I'd be a bouncer on Friday and Saturday nights or worse managing at that same crappy Fridays I last worked at before I moved out here.
I can't thank you enough for reading this far, and for being a part of my goofy existence. I fully expect to laugh more in the next 12 years than I did in the previous, mostly at myself.
Godspeed and God Bless all of you, and have a safe night out there tonight!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
a few thoughts
So I've got to mention some things that have been on my mind of late..
Football is coming!!! It's like Christmas for me when I know training camp is around the corner. Because that also means it's time for me to get my Fantasy Football reading done. I rarely mention how much I like this stuff, mostly because I've been out and about and I can't stand when people talk about their teams. No one cares but you! Get over yourself already. It's something I totally get geeked about, but only talk to my other fantasy football playing brethren about, not out in public settings. Come on, man!
Free Agency has kicked off in both the NHL and NBA, and I really am amused. Why? Well, the Blackhawks signed Marian Hossa to a 12 year deal. So he's playing until he's 42? While not out of the realm of possibilities, how good is he really going to be on the tail end of this deal? Now, don't read me all wrong here. It could make the Blackhawks unbelievably potent on offense, especially the powerplay, but 12 years?? How many coaches is he going to go thru in that timeframe? What's the over/under? 4? I'd take the over. And I love that Montreal has gone out and gotten Scott Gomez, thanks for taking on his monster contract.
As for the NBA, apparently the Detroit Pistons think that getting guys from UConn is a fantastic idea, after signing both Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva yesterday. Have either one been on the winning side of a playoff series? I believe the answer is no. Add to that the fact that Pistons GM Joe Dumars canned head coach Michael Curry after only one season, and I have to ask-What the heck is going on in Detroit? Of course, as a Celtics fan, I can laugh, but I thought this team was on the cusp a couple of times since they won it all in 2004, but things sure don't look so Fantastic right now. We'll have to wait and see who else gets way too much money in the coming days and weeks.
Quick political question, and it's been rattling around in my head for a few weeks now-I keep hearing all these people, particularly politicians, tell me that 'hope and change' won out, so let us do our jobs. Ok, but don't you work for the people, by the people? This goes for both sides of the screwed up fence, it really does. They're both so screwed up. But instead of complaining about how screwed up the other one is, why doesn't someone draw a line in the sand and state 'Enough already!'? We're looking at all sorts of things that I think every one of us would disagree with. This cap and trade thing would be hilarious if it weren't so scary. I'm reading reports that the original proposal was 650 pages, but then at 3 AM the day it was to be voted on it doubled in size. Wait, another piece of legislation that has far and wide government expanding powers and no one is reading it....again???!!! Seriously, this has to stop. I'm reading things that state this cap and trade deal will double our utility bills. We as a nation are coming up on 10% unemployment, and those in DC think it's a good idea to pilfer us for more money as most of us are trying to make ends meet? How is this a good idea? Why can't we let each other read the thing before voting on it? I'm not even mad or ranting about this-I'm genuinely concerned, here.
For me, I'll be out of work in a few days, with nothing on the horizon. I don't blame anyone, just the way it goes. Also doesn't help that I'm stubborn and only want certain things. I don't want another temp job...I want the role that I want, I want to do things my way and for a certain type of business. But you mean to tell me if this thing goes thru I can expect to double my utility bill? When does it end? Seems to me that the people who've done very little to earn their money, Congress, sure seem to have their hands jammed pretty damn deep into my wallet and bank account-it just doesn't seem all that fair to me.
And I think I have a reason why more of us aren't hooting and hollering over this-We're beat up. We're worried. We spend most of our days wondering if it will be us to lose our jobs next. We're afraid to call our friends because we know that the axe may have dropped on them. And we think we're helpless to stop it. Folks, I'm not here to lay blame, at least not in this blog posting. I'm here to tell you to call your friends, invite them out, buy them a beer, check in on them. Because we are all looking at something most of us have never seen. And it is downright scary. The worst part about all of this is that those a few years younger than me weren't taught how to deal with this stuff. If they were, it's from their parents, certainly not their peers and teachers. Just reach out to your people and make sure they're okay. A phone call can last two minutes, but you might be doing someone a huge favor.
Now, as far as laying blame and all of that stupidity can go, it's pointless. I have actually witnessed people taking the Obama stickers off their car-one guy even told me why-he stated flat out that this guy hasn't kept his promises and he's going fullspeed on stupid-his words, not mine. And to those that tell me, 'Well, at least he's not Bush', well he kinda is. Spending money on things the people don't want? Check. Trouncing civil liberties? Check. Better point to those that say that is the following-W couldn't run in this election, so your point is moot. Now, that doesn't mean I think McCain would have been any better/worse. I only think he would have been a little slower, but only by like a week. So really there is not that much difference. Okay, now that I've stated that, I have a question for you-I know you love Obama for who he isn't, but do you love him for who he is? Let that one swirl around your head for a bit. It's an honest question. I don't hate the man, not at all. I'm definitely concerned with the rate at which he's doing things, and how he's doing them. But I admire his conviction, no matter how much I disagree with it.
On to a more fun topic, and I end this blog today with this-I don't go out much, and every once in awhile it's nice to get a reminder why. My reasoning at the moment is to stash away as much money as I can while I'm earning it. So I don't get many 'Drunk on a Tuesday' stories anymore. It's a part of growing up...but you save money, so it's not all bad. Ever meet people and right away your intuition on them is confirmed within 30 seconds? Yup, happened to me on Tuesday night. I met up with an old roommate who I hadn't seen in awhile, and he's been bugging me. Fine, I'll meet up and hang for an hour. It won't kill me, I won't drink, no big deal. Well, he showed up and said he invited some girls, too. (From here on out they will be referred to as Tits McGee and Ex-Clone. Why? You'll get to it in a minute, patience!) So out on the back patio was Tits McGee, how did I know she was 'for him'? Easy, as in she looked easy and like a braindead peroxided out barbie doll. She seemed perfectly nice...to look at, and then she spoke. All sorts of things went thru my head like RoboCop going thru his microprocessor...She's Crazy. I was introduced to Ex-Clone, who looked like a girl I had dated/argued/fought with years ago. She was the taller, slightly skinnier, bug-eyed version of her. I swear to God, it was like looking at my ex thru a clown mirror. Now, Ex-Clone was a perfectly nice person. But by reading this blog and knowing me and being out in the world, you know what I mean when I state nice person. Not attractive. But a nice enough person that I can speak with. Tits McGee, on the other hand, is a whole different bag of silicon. I was introduced, and she immediately had to tell me she worked at a doctors office. Telling by the size of her, ahem, assets-I kind of had an idea of what kind of doctor we're talking about. During the course of our conversation between the four of us I said the word midget, which apparently is incorrect (this bimbo has no idea how wrong she was, and I'll prove it in a sec). Me being me, I had to ask why it was so offensive, since she wasn't a midget (snuggled one in her top, maybe, but she wasn't one of them), and that there were no visible midgets in the general vicinity, why oh why is this offensive, and to whom? She told me medically that they are called little people. I call Bullshit! And I did-want to know why? Two reasons. First, there is a medical, clinical difference between a midget and a dwarf. Second, guess who taught me that lesson? A midget!!!! At a midget wrestling event! When given this information, along with the fact that I wasn't speaking 'medically' (and feel free to cue the sarcasm right about now), I was told with the perfect amount of blondebimboI'mnotwrong 'Whaever'. Ex-Clone popped in calling her 'Manhater'. And that's when my initial reaction to Tits as being Crazy, I got to see just how Crazy she is.
A small sidebar here-there are all sorts of Crazy, some fun, some dangerous, some childish and some that let you know that if you did her wrong she'd chop off your twig and giggleberries. This, ladies and gents, was the last one. They talk about women like her in the handbook, something about a 10 foot pole.
Tits reaction to being called a 'Manhater' was right out of bimbo central casting. "I love men, I grew up around men." I wanted to tell her I grew up around alcoholics, but that doesn't mean I love booze (nevermind, bad example). I could tell right away she was saying it to ease my friends mind. But when the finger started waving around and her eyes got all excited, I knew just how nuts this woman really was.
We all departed company, I had to give my friend a ride home, and on the way to his house, told him that if he had already slept with her he was doomed. If he hadn't yet, don't. I know, guys don't usually tell other guys not to sleep with attractive women. But in this case, I told him if he valued his penis and his 8 month old puppy, he shouldn't be so quick to answer her calls. As I dropped him off, he got a text message that stated something along the lines of, 'Sorry if I was acting all crazy...." Uh, honey, it was no act, and that's what I told him. What would you have done, waited until he called you to tell you he'd been castrated by Cosmetic Surgeon Receptionist? I highly doubt it.
Happy Thursday!
Football is coming!!! It's like Christmas for me when I know training camp is around the corner. Because that also means it's time for me to get my Fantasy Football reading done. I rarely mention how much I like this stuff, mostly because I've been out and about and I can't stand when people talk about their teams. No one cares but you! Get over yourself already. It's something I totally get geeked about, but only talk to my other fantasy football playing brethren about, not out in public settings. Come on, man!
Free Agency has kicked off in both the NHL and NBA, and I really am amused. Why? Well, the Blackhawks signed Marian Hossa to a 12 year deal. So he's playing until he's 42? While not out of the realm of possibilities, how good is he really going to be on the tail end of this deal? Now, don't read me all wrong here. It could make the Blackhawks unbelievably potent on offense, especially the powerplay, but 12 years?? How many coaches is he going to go thru in that timeframe? What's the over/under? 4? I'd take the over. And I love that Montreal has gone out and gotten Scott Gomez, thanks for taking on his monster contract.
As for the NBA, apparently the Detroit Pistons think that getting guys from UConn is a fantastic idea, after signing both Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva yesterday. Have either one been on the winning side of a playoff series? I believe the answer is no. Add to that the fact that Pistons GM Joe Dumars canned head coach Michael Curry after only one season, and I have to ask-What the heck is going on in Detroit? Of course, as a Celtics fan, I can laugh, but I thought this team was on the cusp a couple of times since they won it all in 2004, but things sure don't look so Fantastic right now. We'll have to wait and see who else gets way too much money in the coming days and weeks.
Quick political question, and it's been rattling around in my head for a few weeks now-I keep hearing all these people, particularly politicians, tell me that 'hope and change' won out, so let us do our jobs. Ok, but don't you work for the people, by the people? This goes for both sides of the screwed up fence, it really does. They're both so screwed up. But instead of complaining about how screwed up the other one is, why doesn't someone draw a line in the sand and state 'Enough already!'? We're looking at all sorts of things that I think every one of us would disagree with. This cap and trade thing would be hilarious if it weren't so scary. I'm reading reports that the original proposal was 650 pages, but then at 3 AM the day it was to be voted on it doubled in size. Wait, another piece of legislation that has far and wide government expanding powers and no one is reading it....again???!!! Seriously, this has to stop. I'm reading things that state this cap and trade deal will double our utility bills. We as a nation are coming up on 10% unemployment, and those in DC think it's a good idea to pilfer us for more money as most of us are trying to make ends meet? How is this a good idea? Why can't we let each other read the thing before voting on it? I'm not even mad or ranting about this-I'm genuinely concerned, here.
For me, I'll be out of work in a few days, with nothing on the horizon. I don't blame anyone, just the way it goes. Also doesn't help that I'm stubborn and only want certain things. I don't want another temp job...I want the role that I want, I want to do things my way and for a certain type of business. But you mean to tell me if this thing goes thru I can expect to double my utility bill? When does it end? Seems to me that the people who've done very little to earn their money, Congress, sure seem to have their hands jammed pretty damn deep into my wallet and bank account-it just doesn't seem all that fair to me.
And I think I have a reason why more of us aren't hooting and hollering over this-We're beat up. We're worried. We spend most of our days wondering if it will be us to lose our jobs next. We're afraid to call our friends because we know that the axe may have dropped on them. And we think we're helpless to stop it. Folks, I'm not here to lay blame, at least not in this blog posting. I'm here to tell you to call your friends, invite them out, buy them a beer, check in on them. Because we are all looking at something most of us have never seen. And it is downright scary. The worst part about all of this is that those a few years younger than me weren't taught how to deal with this stuff. If they were, it's from their parents, certainly not their peers and teachers. Just reach out to your people and make sure they're okay. A phone call can last two minutes, but you might be doing someone a huge favor.
Now, as far as laying blame and all of that stupidity can go, it's pointless. I have actually witnessed people taking the Obama stickers off their car-one guy even told me why-he stated flat out that this guy hasn't kept his promises and he's going fullspeed on stupid-his words, not mine. And to those that tell me, 'Well, at least he's not Bush', well he kinda is. Spending money on things the people don't want? Check. Trouncing civil liberties? Check. Better point to those that say that is the following-W couldn't run in this election, so your point is moot. Now, that doesn't mean I think McCain would have been any better/worse. I only think he would have been a little slower, but only by like a week. So really there is not that much difference. Okay, now that I've stated that, I have a question for you-I know you love Obama for who he isn't, but do you love him for who he is? Let that one swirl around your head for a bit. It's an honest question. I don't hate the man, not at all. I'm definitely concerned with the rate at which he's doing things, and how he's doing them. But I admire his conviction, no matter how much I disagree with it.
On to a more fun topic, and I end this blog today with this-I don't go out much, and every once in awhile it's nice to get a reminder why. My reasoning at the moment is to stash away as much money as I can while I'm earning it. So I don't get many 'Drunk on a Tuesday' stories anymore. It's a part of growing up...but you save money, so it's not all bad. Ever meet people and right away your intuition on them is confirmed within 30 seconds? Yup, happened to me on Tuesday night. I met up with an old roommate who I hadn't seen in awhile, and he's been bugging me. Fine, I'll meet up and hang for an hour. It won't kill me, I won't drink, no big deal. Well, he showed up and said he invited some girls, too. (From here on out they will be referred to as Tits McGee and Ex-Clone. Why? You'll get to it in a minute, patience!) So out on the back patio was Tits McGee, how did I know she was 'for him'? Easy, as in she looked easy and like a braindead peroxided out barbie doll. She seemed perfectly nice...to look at, and then she spoke. All sorts of things went thru my head like RoboCop going thru his microprocessor...She's Crazy. I was introduced to Ex-Clone, who looked like a girl I had dated/argued/fought with years ago. She was the taller, slightly skinnier, bug-eyed version of her. I swear to God, it was like looking at my ex thru a clown mirror. Now, Ex-Clone was a perfectly nice person. But by reading this blog and knowing me and being out in the world, you know what I mean when I state nice person. Not attractive. But a nice enough person that I can speak with. Tits McGee, on the other hand, is a whole different bag of silicon. I was introduced, and she immediately had to tell me she worked at a doctors office. Telling by the size of her, ahem, assets-I kind of had an idea of what kind of doctor we're talking about. During the course of our conversation between the four of us I said the word midget, which apparently is incorrect (this bimbo has no idea how wrong she was, and I'll prove it in a sec). Me being me, I had to ask why it was so offensive, since she wasn't a midget (snuggled one in her top, maybe, but she wasn't one of them), and that there were no visible midgets in the general vicinity, why oh why is this offensive, and to whom? She told me medically that they are called little people. I call Bullshit! And I did-want to know why? Two reasons. First, there is a medical, clinical difference between a midget and a dwarf. Second, guess who taught me that lesson? A midget!!!! At a midget wrestling event! When given this information, along with the fact that I wasn't speaking 'medically' (and feel free to cue the sarcasm right about now), I was told with the perfect amount of blondebimboI'mnotwrong 'Whaever'. Ex-Clone popped in calling her 'Manhater'. And that's when my initial reaction to Tits as being Crazy, I got to see just how Crazy she is.
A small sidebar here-there are all sorts of Crazy, some fun, some dangerous, some childish and some that let you know that if you did her wrong she'd chop off your twig and giggleberries. This, ladies and gents, was the last one. They talk about women like her in the handbook, something about a 10 foot pole.
Tits reaction to being called a 'Manhater' was right out of bimbo central casting. "I love men, I grew up around men." I wanted to tell her I grew up around alcoholics, but that doesn't mean I love booze (nevermind, bad example). I could tell right away she was saying it to ease my friends mind. But when the finger started waving around and her eyes got all excited, I knew just how nuts this woman really was.
We all departed company, I had to give my friend a ride home, and on the way to his house, told him that if he had already slept with her he was doomed. If he hadn't yet, don't. I know, guys don't usually tell other guys not to sleep with attractive women. But in this case, I told him if he valued his penis and his 8 month old puppy, he shouldn't be so quick to answer her calls. As I dropped him off, he got a text message that stated something along the lines of, 'Sorry if I was acting all crazy...." Uh, honey, it was no act, and that's what I told him. What would you have done, waited until he called you to tell you he'd been castrated by Cosmetic Surgeon Receptionist? I highly doubt it.
Happy Thursday!
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