Monday, February 20, 2012

a whole lot to clean up

alright y'all, there's a lot to go over and not a lot of time before I have to head off to bed.

After battling a cold/flu/something nasty for a couple of weeks, I feel better, but know that I need to get more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. Worry about what you can control, and let everything else fall by the wayside. This is going in 5 sections: political crap, jobs, family, and work. As always, you don't have to agree with my opinion, as these things are just put out there as a point of view to make you think. Oh, and if you scream 'tolerance' at every turn and then call me an idiot, you're a hypocrite....just sayin'

Political Crap
The backlash to the Susan G. Komen stuff still bugs me. I still don't get it. So, if a charity doesn't want to donate any $ to a cause (Planned Parenthood) that was founded on the basis of wiping out a race, why do some care so much? The shrills were a bit much. I just love the jump. So you don't want to support an organization that is under federal investigation, and that equals you hate women? Wait, what?? That's quite the jump, but maybe it's me.

Well, I guess that's better than the cause that keeps telling us that girls are like boys. Hint: no, they're not. Instead of forcing genders to be alike, which they aren't, why not celebrate the differences? While we're at it, after reading this, I want to patent a little boys kitchen set.

I heard this the other night, and I think it's correct-if gas goes above $5/gallon, it won't matter who promises what. We are not Europe, hell, we're not even Canada. If the average price of gas goes above $5/gallon, there will be a new person in DC next January. I have a friend who is a 'died-in-the-wool' Democrat, and while he tried to egg me on 1 day a few years ago, he said something extremely intelligent and true, "People vote with their wallet." Yup, that's how most of us do vote. I would love to do the pie in the sky analysis, but bottom line, things cost money. And we, all of us, get tired of hearing people blame others. I called this the 'Year of Accountability', and I for one am very exhausted listening to certain folks blame the past. We get it, it sucked, now can you pack that shit up and fix it like you promised? How about not fucking it up even worse? Nope to both? Then you gots to go.

Well, it's Black History Month, and while it's great to see Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech, there is so much more to celebrate. One of the things I love to celebrate is Bill Cosby telling folks to grow up. And then, over in the corner, you have some old white bigot who just patronizes a whole race of people. See, don't ever believe that everyone wants the black man off the plantation. I like it even more when you can see someone tie some of the bullshit a whole race of people are led to believe is complete bunk. Better than that? When the same man, Mychal Massie, points out the haters and why they hate. "Haters make the world go 'round. If you don't have anyone hating on you, then you're not doing it right"-Katt Williams

Jobs
a quick update on me-I turned down an offer, as it wasn't the right fit nor the right money for me. I can't afford to take a paycut on some ideal that I can wallop a commission number. That's not how I work anymore. Sorry, but I'm 36. And I currently have a job, where per my annual review last week, they love me. Great, add this to the list of roles I'm good at but wish I weren't. Whodathunk I'd be good at collections? At least this gig comes with benefits. I also didn't get another role I interviewed for, they went with a competitor who was known, but they were impressed with my interview and don't believe I'll be hurting anytime soon. When will then be now? Soon, I hope. I had an interview with a 3rd company, but it took about 10 minutes for us both to realize that I wasn't the candidate for the role-I'm not senior management/director level, at least not yet. I hope one day the potential is there. But not right now. I still have some things to work on before I get there. The journey is what I'm teaching myself to enjoy.

Now, I've strived to press upon you, dear reader, not to believe the government when they come out with their unemployment numbers-they are complete garbage. There are quite a few people out there whom have exhausted their benefits, and there is little hope for them. If I knew them, I'd help. Considering what my friends and network did for me, it's the only right thing to do. When the CEO of Starbucks tells people to simmer down regarding that bogus 8.3%, we should listen. We are dangerously close to having Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to unemployment. Worse, there are those who are filing for disability once those unemployment benefits expire or even before (yes, this takes them off the books for the unemployed roster), but the bigger issue is that nothing is really being done. First, this takes away from those that really are disabled. Second, there are folks out there that are so despondent that they think not having a job is a disability (that's an illness in and of itself).

I look back, I am blessed to have the friends I have, checking up on me and looking out for me. I can't thank y'all enough. I can't imagine feeling lower than I felt, but I now know that without the support group I have, it would have probably gotten worse.

Family
I worry, a lot, about Ma Dukes. I worry that she's so lonely she's going to do something stupid. I worry she might mix her meds up. I worry that she has doctors who are just whacking an insurance pinata. Her and I talk about her moving out here, and I think it would be great for her. The sad part is that it would help get her away from my baby brother. That kid is just selfish (and I'm not even mad). Eventually, you need to learn to accept that some folks are just who they are, they don't desire to be better, to do the right thing. They live to drag you down. I avoid those people. I wish Ma would. I'm sure it's difficult, admitting you raised one good kid and one asshole. I can be an asshole, but that's not my nature around her. Especially the way my brother is. He's not working, again, and has his hand out. Dude is 30. When does that shit stop? I'm 36, and I haven't asked for a dime since about October of 1997, right after I moved out here. It's been on me. My issue is that I don't currently earn enough to help Ma out.

And in all honesty, if I were to go out there and do standup comedy, do I really want to put the pressure on myself that this is the only way I can provide, quite well, for my family? No, it's not. It's like playing from behind, and the failure would crush me.

Work
As I mentioned earlier, my annual review was last week, and they love me. I'm a stud. I work hard. It's nice to be noticed, to be counted on. I have a great boss, fantastic support. Honestly, if they paid what I was worth in this role, I wouldn't be looking, I could even look past the ridiculous processes and mismanagement of resources.

And now for 'The New Hat Trick story'--slight back story, in the last two weeks a lot of desk moving has happened amongst my group. Not me. I had the guy who was cool and calm that sat across from me move and be replaced by a woman whom I thought was a good worker. I thought my boss had an ax to grind, telling me behind the scenes and over beers (we started at the same time, as peers, just an fyi. I don't want his job, never will) that she's full of crap and a shitstarter. Again, I thought he had an ax to grind. Uh, after a week, notsomuch. She doesn't work, doesn't pay attention and doesn't listen. For real, her favorite word might be 'huh?'
Now the story. This past Friday I came into work as I normally do. I went to take my lunch out of my bag, and she asked me what I brought. 'Salad, like always.' I then mentioned that I needed to come up with something to give up for Lent. Yes, I am Catholic and still believe in that part of it. It's helped in the past. I've given up fast food and soda in the past, dropped 25 lbs. Gave up nail-biting a couple years ago, and don't do that anymore. So I look at it like correcting bad behavior. I'd like to give up swearing and cussing, but we all know that won't happen. No need to set myself up for failure. This woman said to me, "why not give up salad, not like it's working". Yeah, read that again.
"I'm not talking to you for today" was my only response.
About 8 hours go by and she decided she'd ask me a question. I told her she needed to apologize before we go any further. And that's when the 2nd part happened...
"What do you think you heard?" Boys and girls, this is straight out of the passive-aggressive handbook, and I was trained in the Art of War of Linguistics by the best. Any of folks reading this that remember Pops know of which I speak. That dude could double-talk anyone. Again, my old man was a car salesman, I know bullshit when I see it, well before I smell it.
I told her what I know I heard, and she told me, "no, I said why don't you give up sex, it's not like you're getting any".
HOW THE HELL IS THAT ANY BETTER???
And now, the capper. After the agreeing to disagree, and having 2 other women I work with start blazing up my Instant Messenger with jabs about digging a bigger hole and asking her to be more rude, this knucklehead decided to send me and IM, "And I thought I was the one that needed to get their hearing checked".
So, for those keeping score at home, I'm:
Fat
Sexless
and Deaf
(great name for a punk band, just sayin')
HAT TRICK! Thanks for the confidence boost, right?

Best part? Her car was in the shop and she had the nerve to ask me if I would drop her off (and the IMs flying from the 2 other ladies I work with being dumbfounded and offended for me). I know, I'm a wuss about many things, but in this case, I shot her a look and told her I had to finish up some work. Now, her and I are no longer FB friends (by her, not by me), and today she was let go. No, not because of this, I said nothing to HR or my superiors. Because she didn't work.

Off to bed, I'm tired.

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Now playing: The Procussions - Wegotta
via FoxyTunes

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