I may have found the most foul-smelling girl on the planet...relax, it ain't like I was looking for her. Last Thursday was laundry night. This lady was so stanky ("how stanky was she?"), she'd make paint peel. I had a cold and I smelled her. My laundry area is a very good size. 8 washers, 8 dryers. I had already put my washed clothes into the dryer, and it was time to go get the clothes and fold 'em up. I usually fold them on the giant folding counter. Uh, not this time. I walked in and my olfactory senses were overloaded. Again, I had a cold. And the one thing I could smell was rank B.O. I mean horrifying. It filled the room. So I did what I think anyone else would do, I made the executive decision to fold my clean clothes in my apartment, and not let the B.O. stench seep into my clothes. Smart, right?
But now, I have questions. Should I have said something? Should I say something to the apt manager? I mean, what if you lived next door to that person. This shit was so rank it would make you cry, I'm not kidding. Thankfully no stank got on my clothes, other than linen fresh Bounce. Damn straight I use fabric softener. Recognize the lack of static cling!
I'm getting too old for this Shit
Recently I've been told I should date younger women. And by younger, I mean females in their early 20's. Seriously. Seriously? What would we have in common, other than we might both think she's hot? What do you think I would have in common with a 23 yr old girl. Yeah, I said it, girl. I get it, before y'all go crazy, there's the one off. As there is in every scenario. Let's just use the big broad strokes on the canvas here, shall we? Get real. The only thing I have in common with anyone in their 20's is that I once was, too. Other than that? Nada. Zip, zilch. Not a damn thing. The things I cared about in my early 20's I could care less about today. Sports? Sorry, it's 9:17 and the Clippers are on, and I'm typing this thing up. Alley-oops or writing? I chose writing. So, next time anyone has any bright ideas about my dating life, please, think it over for more than a nanosecond, and flip the script, and how you'd respond. I'm good. Seriously, I'm good. You may not believe it, and I admit the dry spell is bordering on epic/pathetic, but I made choices. I've dealt with them. I don't hate on anyone for them. To use a sports metaphor, I'm not in the mood for a new baseball glove, and the whole 'breaking in' process. There is no magic elixir to work that glove, either. Just like that glove, it's gonna take some time for someone to get to know me. Besides, I have the ability to pull off the stupid anytime I want. Finding random hook ups wouldn't be all that difficult. But face facts, I'm looking for someone legit. And to tie it all together, it doesn't come in the biologically aged packaging of a 23 yr old girl. You know it, I know it-they don't know shit.
The job interviews
Interview #1-Three women, firing squad style. Ah, my dream scenario. Why? C'mon now. I've said it before I'll say it again, I don't keep it real I keep it right. Unless all 3 of these women were dyed-in-the-wool dykes (yes, butch-ass lesbians), I can get one of them on my side. Since none were from the Island of PenisLoathe, I was fine. Better than fine. They loved me. You should know that I kind of took a month off from trying to find a new job, and in that time I wanted to refresh the answers I had for interviews. They were stale. It was time for new answers. Mostly because I have a job, and I'm not desperate. Different feeling, so we get some different answers. Out of the box, as my flat-Irish ass was hitting the chair, the CEO asked me 'Why should I hire you?' Oh the smartass answers that rattled around my noggin. My answer was inconsequential, like "I'm a hard worker, very diligent, and believe in and practice the art of accountability". Complete silence told me I was on to something. From there it was all the basic scenario crap you can google for 'sales interview'. That's what the job is, sales rep. The company is a startup, and I told them, like I'll tell you, that it's a combo of Angie's List and Yelp! on steroids.
So what happened? Well, an offer was made. I tried to counter the offer. No dice. It turns out that it is a commission only role. At my age, I'm not taking this risk. I just celebrated my 1 year anniversary of being employed and don't take that lightly after being out of work for 18 months. No way in hell I'm taking that risk in this economy. I've lived with someone who had to sell to eat. It warps your perception, and looks to me like you're always playing from behind. Thanks, but no thanks. Interesting post-script. I got feedback that they loved my interview and have been raving about me for a week. My answers were honest and refreshing-that was the feedback. Go figure.
Interview #2-this is more my speed. A small slightly established company that needs a real account manager. Not a sales guy. An account manager. Which means customer service, ops, business development and some project management. Hello, wheelhouse! I met this guy for coffee, and let him do most of the talking (it's like sales and dating, ask one or two questions and shut up-they'll just give you the info you need). I loved their business proposition. They're looking to grow, smartly, not all dumb and haphazard. Ah, like a breath of fresh air. I know this guy is traveling a ton, and this would help him out, it's something on his company's roadmap. One of the other things I love about this opportunity is the travel. I'm single, so this isn't an issue. Now, where would I travel? Well, one of their biggest clients is in Massachusetts. Right job, right opportunity, right $ and traveling to the right places? Yeah, I like it a lot. It's still in the decision process, but I'm hopeful.
Note-I wouldn't have either of these opportunities if it wasn't for my friends, and my network. The lesson, as always, it's who you know, and who looks out. Good lookin' to Zippy and the Big Canuck-'Toban Roker!
I have a couple of political questions:
Why does it matter how much money a candidate makes? Why not focus on the amount given to charity? (and then all of us, conservative/liberal, straight/gay/bi, Republican/Democrat, carnivore/vegan) should sneer in the direction of VP Joe Biden, who anted up a paltry 369K to various charities. Dude!
What would you think of a man who was steadfastly against something, maybe even called it immoral, until the checks started rolling in? Bought and paid for? Hypocrite? Nah, that's Jesse Jackson. I'm just here to stoke the flames a bit-check out the film 'Gates of Hell', and read the book 'Shakedown'. Yes, I harp on the good Reverend, but that's only because he's been bullshitting his own people while lining his pockets off his pimped-out memory of Dr. Martin Luther King.
Want to open a business? Here are the best and worst states, tax-wise. I implore you to read the list and the note about Illinois. Some people just don't get it.
I spoke of Massachusetts earlier, and I know I'm picking on a D-thief, and I know that there are R-crooks out there, but how is this not criminal?? But we do need to enact some form of law to knock this shit off. Quit fucking with New England, the people are bitter enough (as I smile from 2000 miles away).
The Syracuse 'Scandal'
I told you my spidey senses didn't buy a lot of this crap when the accusations came out. And then the (first accusers) last two dipshits standing hired renowned ambulance-chaser Gloria Allred, I think anyone with a brain knew something was up. Now this. Really? You release a note that says Bernie Fine's wife was bangin' players??? Uh, if you are unbelievably bored, hit up a google image search of 'Laurie Fine'....that is one handsome woman, wouldn't you say? You really think the walking Gods of the Carrier Dome were nailing that over a bunch of co-eds? This whole thing now reeks of desperation. Again, I'm no lawyer, but why sue Jim Boeheim and Syracuse University, and not Bernie Fine. When in doubt, boys and girls, follow the money.
Uh, anyone else notice the Celtics are starting to make a run as of late? Did they hit the wayback machine in the locker room?
The Bruins will be fine so long as they don't do anything stupid, like trade G Tim Thomas. The rumor of him going to Chicago is fine, so long as Patrick Kane is coming back. Otherwise, you don't give up Vezina Trophy winners. Oh, and if the Blackhawks really need a goalie, call New Jersey. I have no idea if Brodeur is any good anymore, but I know you can't tell when he has to try and stop 3-on-1 opportunities more frequently than anyone should have to.
When are tryouts for the Red Sox shortstop? You can time me out of the box with a sundial and I have a better arm than Stephen Hawking (I hope), but a platoon? Hey, this ain't Oakland, get it together!!
A special shout out to 2 Steelers-the retiring DL Chris Hoke, definitely one of 'those guys' every team needs, and true fans know how valuable they are. And RB coach Kirby Wilson, who has started his physical rehab after that horrific fire.
Don't think for one minute I didn't enjoy the Nuggets beating the Knicks and the refs a couple weeks ago. It was awesome, even better to watch Carmelo Anthony ballhog his team into a loss.
Dwight Howard doesn't get it, does he? Buddy, just stop talking about next year. Better yet, how about better than the 7 seed in the playoffs, if at all, for this season...
Is there any development of a new hockey helmet? Hear me out....remember like 10 years ago when baseball catchers started wearing goalie masks? Why not some form of football helmet prototype for hockey players? I ask because, yes, the amount of concussions kinda frightens me.
I'm getting kinda tired of people telling me-thru social media no less-that if I don't agree with their opinion I'm a bigot. Anyone else? Uh, sometimes I don't agree with you. Get over it, or don't. But don't resort to name-calling, ya douche!
It is hilarious that some folks still think they can get phone or email tough. Had a moment 2 weeks ago where someone tried to pull a guilt trip on me via Instant Message. For Reals? I had to tell them that I was sorry, but I have a passive-aggressive Catholic GramGram-ya got nothing on her.
There are more things flowing, and getting written down in a notebook. Open mic night is coming soon. Y'all gotta learn somehow (and I'm the best substitute teacher around, hahaha!).
R.I.P. Don Cornelius and Angelo Dundee
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