Sunday, June 19, 2011

from an envelope

Sometimes you get just a giant hint of how much like your parents you honestly are....

I had this envelope in my back pocket for a couple of weeks-first with a password for my roommate's Amazon Prime account (free shipping on anything? Yes, please!) for when I was buying all sorts of little items that I needed to catch up on, and ended up using it for notes. So here comes some randomness...

I love helping out my friends, especially the ones who help me out, too. That's what friends do. If it ends up being a one way street-cut them out, they're no good. If you're a mooch who takes advantage and never gives back, you might want a moment or two to reflect on that. Do you want to be a user and abuser-or a person who has solid friendships where your people would do anything for you at the drop of a hat? I'll take my solid friendships and move it along. Helping and being helped is fantastic, no more than when you can offer, sincerely, to help.

My definition of suicide and yours will differ. Most probably look at suicide as a sudden act. I don't. I have to stress this right now, to cure some fears-I am in no way contemplating the notion of offing myself. While I may not live every day to its fullest potential, the alternative doesn't entice me. I'll go when my time comes, thanks.
I have two friends whose Moms made the decision to take their own life. Yes, that is suicide. So is not living. You know what else is, to me? The way my Pops died. It was selfish. There is a 100% chance that if you smoke you can get lung cancer. If you don't smoke, your chances of lung cancer go down significantly. I don't like to get all preachy or high & mighty, mostly when it comes to personal choices. But I stress this to those that smoke-think of your kids, if you have them. Think of dying when you're 58. That's too soon. I'm just sayin'. Suicide takes many forms in my head, that's one of them.

Never underestimate the clearance rack! I bought a pair of awesome New Balance kicks last year for like $70. Sure they were out of my price range, but they were comfy and lasted quite a bit. Fast forward a year and I was looking for another pair of kicks. Nothing stuck out to me, some were far too flashy for my liking. Well wouldn't you know it, while rummaging thru a store a few weeks ago, I ambled over to the clearance rack, and wouldn't you know it-the same pair I bought last year for about 40% off. Somewhere Ma Dukes was smiling on that day, I know it!

This online dating this is hilarious. A few notes if you're ever considering diving into this puddle (yeah, it's that damn shallow):
1. Beware the cropped picture. That's just a fat girl trying to not show you how fat they are. Oh, and fat doesn't mean curvy. Curves on top of curves is called fat. Hit the gym and cut down on the Haagen and the Daz. I have. And I can assure you, after getting food poisoning a couple of weeks ago, I haven't exactly gone all nutso on the working out. But I do limit the caloric intake.
2. The 'Double Feature'. Ever seen a picture of someone, click next, and wonder how the next picture could be of the same person? Yeah, it's out there, way more than anyone wants to admit. That is some scary crap folks. Nothing like seeing a picture of someone and then on to the next and being spooked.
3. The ability to exercise and bullshit. Really, you like hiking, biking, camping, yoga, weights, and running? When the hell do these people have time to work? Are they independently wealthy? I drive by a nice park somedays when I get out of work at 3:30, never have I seen so many people in their mid-20's to 30's running around. Sorry, but I have to work and I hate running. Is there ice cream or sex at the end of running? No, then fuck you, you run. I have a car, it's hot, and I want ice cream, damn it.
4. "I like trying out new restaurants. I am very independent. I'm very sarcastic, just looking for a guy with a sense of humor who works out that's sensitive." Let's get this out of the way right off the bat-you don't want a straight man. You want a gay man. Straight men don't have the time nor the inclination to deal with your version of sarcasm and not be able to be mean enough to chuck it right back in your grill. You, dear ladies of the internet, want a freakin' mute who bows down. You're independent? I'm calling BS. That's like me saying I'm a nice guy. I am, to a point. But when you're a douche, I say so. Guys aren't reading The Feminine Mystique while running up and down the b-ball court, I can assure you. This mythical man doesn't exist. As far as being independent and liking trying out new restaurants-fantastic. You want to be a liberated woman in 2011 and date? Pay for your own damn dinner. Hell, pay for mine while your at it. Every study I end up reading tells me that men are choosing mates later in life because of the bullshit-that's cutting thru all the fancy words and reasoning. Ladies, you cannot have it both ways. You want a giant career? Great, have at it, I won't hate you for it. And some of you pull it off. But ya do it, and you do it alone. Being a strong woman doesn't mean being a bitch, just like being a strong man doesn't mean being an asshole. Quit trying to fuck around with hundreds of years of evolution. By no means am I stating to get in the kitchen and make babies. But this whole notion of having your cake and eating it, too? Get over it, put it away, burn it in the fireplace with the pictures of that last guy who left you. I appreciate strength more than most, especially in the opposite sex. But the line isn't that fine between strong and bitch. I've met bitches, I've met women thrilled that they're called a bitch. You know what else?-They end up alone. Or with a mate who is subpar for the expectations they have for themselves. They settle, either due to biological clock, earning potential or the ability to grind up a male into a fine powder and show their friends how 'tough' they are. Puh-lease.
The joy of this whole experience so far is that I've found out how much I have to give and that I'm not apologizing for being me. Who knew? I like me some me.

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Now playing: Saigon - Preacher
via FoxyTunes

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