You heard me...don't even think of moving it.
Godfather x 2!
So this past Sunday my buddy who lives outside Toronto and I chatted. I've known him since the 5th grade (no need to put down the year, lets just say it has been awhile, and both of our foreheads have grown). And he asked if I'd do him the honor of being his 2nd daughter's Godfather. Do him the honor? Hardly. I'm the one that is honored. Victoria Elizabeth is almost 2 months old. That means, for those keeping score at home, is 1 boy in the US and a girl in Canada. That's right, fools, I'm international!! Totally going on the resume! And the best part-now that I'm employed, I was thinking that it would be awfully nice to get my passport, since I haven't had one since I was 12. Waddya know, my boy KP comes up and asks this question. Coincidence? I think not.
A minor relationship status review
This is for all the guys out there. Ladies, pass this along to your guy friends. I preface this with the idea that sometimes you're told things as a teenager that end up in a movie. In this case, I'm certain this advice was given to me by Pops, but also in the movie 'White Men Can't Jump'. The advice is this-"Listen to the Woman". 4 simple words. Why do I touch upon this? Easy. If your lady doesn't like surprises, maybe, just maybe, you don't give clues and try to propose to her (on Valentine's Day, no less-how cliche) over the radio. Click the link, allow for it to load up, and kill 15 minutes of your day and see if the IT guy in your office comes over to discuss bandwidth with you. I was listening at the very bitter hilarious end. Feel free to think whatever you want, I think the guy tried too hard to be his TV version of romantic. I feel bad for the guy, but pay attention and keep your head on a swivel, there, dummy.
One Teacher gets it
There is a teacher in SW Illinois who gets it, and when she calls out the little dweeb teenage douchebags she teaches, on her own blog, parents freak, and administrators overreact. Shocking. I love how this article claims the teacher used profanity....yeah, so? I want her blog address, I want to interview her for my new website launch, I want to link to it. Let's get this correct right off the bat-this is a 1st amendment issue, I guess. She can say whatever she wants. Is it a smart thing to do? Of course not. But I'm pretty certain it's legal and legit. More importantly, this notion that people want honest feedback is bullshit. You know it, I know it, and if the rest of the population would hop on board the Truth Train, we'd all be a lot better off.
To my friends that are teachers-I don't envy your job. I'd probably be fired on the 1st day after homeroom roll call was taken. Why? Well, if I had 1st graders, I'd tell Booger McDrippy Crotchscratcher to have his Mom/Dad/Nanny/Manny/'Uncle Steve'/Mom's 'friend' Nancy to either a)wipe your ass properly or better yet b)teach you to wipe your ass properly. Nobody thinks ass nuggets are sweet or special--everybody poos, ya don't see me walking around holding my morning deuce like a dope, now do you? To take this another step further (what the hell, I got enough fire in the belly) I teach seniors in high school. After I tell 'Trent' (or whatever GodAwful name some single-mom-stripper saddled their halfwit braindamaged ritolincomainduced 'special' emo punkband wannabe with) to yank up his pants, put away the hair 'product' (wretching my stomach-product-really?, we've come to that, grown men saying 'product', or worse, future men saying product. that's awful) and put the damn cell phone away, I may have to tell 'princess' Madison to put away the netbook, place the spackle, I mean makeup, back in that $300 dollar bag her divorced dad bought her over the weekend, pull up her shirt because, frankly, I'm seeing areola, and please for the love of all that is holy cross your damn legs because you smell like a damn Red Lobster. Yup, I'm an HR admins wet freakin' dream.
Back to this lady-someone out there tell me what she did wrong. Calling people on their shit is her job, especially since clearly these nitwitted kids parents won't do it. Meanwhile, profanity is the issue? Right. Since their parents for damn sure don't read anything other than facebook postings, I can guaran-damn-tee that these rolling resource vampires absorb nothing but MTV and softcore porn on Skinemax. Cut me a break, will ya.
....While others are still just as dumb as the dopes they teach
I implore you to click this link, and look at the picture of this warpig holding the sign. And there it is, she's 22. Some 'teachers' (I'm using the term loosely) decided to call a 'sickout', meaning parents had to use sick time or vacation pay, because the poor teachers may have to go back to the bargaining table and have to chip in on their own health care and retirement. Alright you teacher union dolts, you want to sit there and try and shove a giant heaping plateful of that term 'fairness' down kids Fritos-lined throats? No problem. Here's fair; 8-10% of you, tomorrow, get to hit the unemployment line. I'm not saying all teachers. Right now, I'm saying most teachers in Wisconsin, who pimped their own students (where the hell are child labor laws on this crap??) to hand out fliers. Matter of fact, I like the guy in the links suggestion-Ronnie Reagan those dumb bastards right the hell out of a job. I happen to have a friend that's got all sorts of teaching credentials that would love a job that pays $49K (or thereabouts-oh how I love Google). If you have no idea what I mean by Reagan and unions, you might want to do some research the early 80's and air traffic controllers. I hope the governor of Wisconsin does the same. These teachers don't care about the kids. Want to talk fair? Fine, ask every one of those kids if their folks are working, and if so, what have those parents had to sacrifice in the name of keeping their said companies afloat so they can keep a job? G'head, I double-dog dare ya. Selfish pricks.
Free Advice
This has to do with something I've seen, in person and on the TV, it's free advice to every Father out there (Moms, read this if you'd like, but your role as a parent is different. I didn't make the rules, it's hundreds of years of anthropology at work here), particularly fathers of boys. I will be doing you all the solid of printing something for you, and giving you a book (no, not mine. I hope to have most of my book finished by the end of this year). But the premise is this-you are NOT your child's friend. Re-read that last sentence, slowly. There is a damn epidemic of parents, particularly fathers, trying to be friends with their kids. I see it with certain moms and daughters, and it sickens me just as much. Your job is to be a parent, and if you're not up to the task, don't have kids. Your kids will have friends, be it from school, sports, extra-curricular activities, siblings or cousins (especially if they're Irish or Italian). You, dear gentle reader, ain't a friend. Your job, Dad's out there, is to put your foot squarely up the figurative ass of your son(s) and make sure they don't screw up and end in jail, or at a McJob, or not knowing what hard work is all about. This is almost pointed at someone in particular, but I see the seeds being planted all around me, and it makes for weak-willed men, and there is no amount of therapy, drugs, booze, porn or SportsCenter to make a man be a man. Either it gets instilled or it doesn't. Man, it's times like this I miss my Pops, but the lessons aren't too far gone, that's for sure. Disclaimer-this is not for all men. Some men suck as human beings and should be as far away from raising a child as possible. And for the single moms out there, I get it. But you're still not a father. The feminist movement lied to you, we're not equal. Doesn't mean you're not all the parent your kid needs, but you, as a person in the 'single parent' group, are the rare diamond in the proverbial rough. And I know I'm right, because I know you've seen other single parents and thought they sucked (go ahead and nod your head, I'll give you a moment).
Guess I should feel lucky
Lucky that someone thinks I'm talented enough to work. In case you haven't read it, or I haven't told you-I work with an extremely overtalented group. Not to the point that we as a group will be bored next week, maybe come August. But to read this Bloomberg article, it gets my blood up to a simmer. Is this what I was up against? Even though my resume was current? If so, someone's got some 'splainin' to do. Just a friendly reminder, keep your unemployed friends in mind-I still keep in contact with a couple of mine, have touched base with a couple of newly unemployed, and I try to keep their spirits up and give them places to go, different ideas. That, and I lend an ear. These folks just want to be heard and want to work, keep the lights on and the food on the table. I remember being told I'm overqualified for certain roles, but that's all that was available. I don't think it would feel too good to be told I shouldn't bother to apply because I'm unemployed. Just doesn't follow logic in my mind, either.
Sports tomorrow, I assure you, and I leave you with something new...
The BBQ Test
Y'all have heard of the Mom Test, the Door Test and the Clean Test, right? Well boys & girls, here is a new test for you. The BBQ test. What is it? Simple, it's really a test for people you meet at the office. The test is simply, would you invite this person to your house for a BBQ? Not out of obligation, or guilt, but because you want them there. Simple enough, right? Now let's just see how many in your circle would honestly pass this here BBQ Test. You might surprise yourself.
Happy Thursday, ya bums.
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Now playing: Shinedown - Simple Man
via FoxyTunes
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