Did it feel like Christmas to you?

Well, there's good news and bad news. Good news, I was well received at my buddy DanO's for Christmas. Bad news, I missed Ma. And my brother.

But did it feel like Christmas? I had 3 of my friends tell me that might be the last day of their marriage, and only one of them was kidding. I'm missing something in the relationship world, maybe it's something I don't know-but if the holidays and traveling and packing the munchkins are that much work, why do it? Sorry, but when I moved to Denver my folks were stoked by the simple fact that they knew they wouldn't have to travel unless I wanted to. And pretty much every year I went home for the Christmas, the last 12 years, the answer was 'NO'. Well, more like 'oh HELL no'. Why? Why stress my family out? Why not just hang out in PJ's all day long instead of getting up, opening presents, then hustling around the shower schedules and getting dressed to see people you barely like or can stand. I'm stating it now, if I ever have a kid or kids, we're staying home and y'all can come visit us. I'll be the chubby guy in front of the stove making Heart Attack B'fast Sammiches and then throwing some type of meat/fowl in around 11 to eat at 3. Done and done.

I know the holidays are stressful, but I felt a lot less stress this year by not flying and feeling like I had to touch base with everyone. That's the part that sucks about traveling somewhere-while it's great that everyone wants to see you, I've never felt comfortable just jamming someone into my schedule like I'm playing calendar tetris. Like sure, you got to see someone, but did you really get to hang out, or were you just slammed in for like an hour? This is no knock on anyone else, we all have different ways we do things. I would rather not bother and apologize for not planning well enough than to do that to someone.

And apparently it's a good thing I didn't travel east after seeing pictures of this winter storm y'all up in the northeast are getting buried with. But Ma was cool with it, and I only got one guilt trip out of all my phone calls.
Timestamp on that was 10:45 MST from GramGram, and she snuck it in there, too. Just when you think you've seen every backhanded compliment, every sly remark, every zing right past your ear, there she goes and chucks one right at you, when you were least expecting it. (Sigh). While I miss her and her antics, at 83, she has never listened to anyone and manages to put things on me that have nothing to do with me. My brother, for example, is who he is regardless of who I am. But not to her. Had I never moved then he might be a success. What? Gee, thanks for that appetizer of wretch. And for the main course, I'm not doing so great because I don't go to church. Yup, all I have to do is go to a house of worship and I'm all set-I'll be named Time's Man of the Year for my theory that there needs to be a lifeguard at the gene pool, Jessica Biel will become my mute girlfriend while Mila Kunis is my mistress, money will just randomly show up, the jelly of the month club is consistently grape jam/strawberry jam or orange marmalade, birds will stop taking massive craps on my car, I'll be able to dunk, my hair will magically grow back to it's luxurious 1993 levels, everyone apologizes for not recognizing my sheer genius, bacon will prove to be better for you than apples, we'll find out who killed Biggie/Tupac/Jam Master Jay, someone will kidnap Roger Goodell and Gary Bettman and there will be a cure for self-inflicted cancer (I say self-inflicted because that means the other types of cancer, the ones where the term 'victim' is true, will have been solved, and because if my old man never picked up a cigarette he'd be here now, duh). Instead of saying anything above, I just took that fastball to the cheek, shook it off and let her continue on about the rest of us heathens. God Bless us, every one!!

In other good news, my Ma, even without me, had a great day on Christmas. Mostly because she avoided certain members of her family (see: above), and the eventual wine/advil/quiet ride home concoction. Believe it or not, I do miss home. Ma went to my brother's girlfriend's father's house, and said it was 'wonderful'. Her word, not mine. She said it was refreshing that there was no yelling, no talking over one another, she felt engaged in conversation and her nervousness and anxiety went away right after she got there. She said my brother was even on his best behavior. I think that means he and his girlfriend are in it for the long term, and he'll go kicking and screaming. My brother is funny like that, he can't possibly admit that there is a woman out there that loves him for him. So he'll fight it. Yes, I've bitched and moaned about the kid, but I've come to the point where I realize I cannot change him, by either talking to him, punching him dead in the face nor shaming him. He is what he is, and instead of trying to fit him into some box filled with missed expectations, I might as well enjoy the complete and utter clown that he is. He's my brother, no matter what. And sometimes, especially lately, he's funny. Funny like Pops was funny, just off the cuff, same sighs and everything. It's hilarious and weird, all at the same time.

I moved!!
I got out of the Shire on the day before Christmas, and while there is an adjustment, it's a worthwhile one at that. I had more space in the Shire, but I'm sacrificing space for piece of mind. So far, so good. I've made the right call. I'm smiling again (shadup, it happens), and it's a little weird for me. I don't feel that heavy depressing weight that was around my previous place. I don't miss the stench of 'herbal medicine', the smelly dog or my privacy being invaded. Overall, I'll miss my own bathroom, and that's about it. I won't miss the bills not being paid or the overall uncleanliness of that place. Now I can invite my friends to my place!

I have a 2nd interview tomorrow!
It's for a long-term contract role, but I would be back amongst the working. Not a great gig, but a job is a job, and right about now, I need one. Just to feel like a human again, in the good way. I swear, getting away from HDN and all that negativity is a huge step in the right direction.

My Christmas
While I missed my family, I was welcomed into my buddy DanO's house, like I said before, and it was great. I may have mentioned this before, but he has welcomed me into his home and family so much that I'm accepted. I'm an uncle to his 3 yr old girl and 14 month old son. And do they love playing jungle gym, and I kinda like it, too. Christmas was spent eating too much (naturally), playing ball with the lil' guy and then bouncy castle with the 3 yr old. Well, more like me being horsie, then helping her fly (she gets on my feet, I lift her up and scream 'EAGLE', like on Grosse Pointe Blank) and then it was time for Tinkerbell tea. And it was a blast. Made me forget for a second who I was missing, including the Heart Attack B'fast Sammiches and the requisite smoke from the kitchen that comes along with it.

All in all, I'd call it a successful last couple of days. Those of you that got to witness the ugly side of the holidays, I'm sorry, that sucks. Some people forgot the meaning of Christmas a long time ago. For that, I feel bad for them. How do you explain being an asshole for Christmas? Yikes.