Anyone else want to tell these people to call their mothers for validation. Yes, you're special, smart and wonderful. Feel better now? Great, how about getting off my phone so someone with something interesting to discuss can get thru, huh, how about that? Fine-you're not a ho for sleeping with him after he bought dinner. Feel better? Great, now go wash ya skank-ass, and again, stay off my phone. We need to start a service that not only tells these people that they aren't special, but for a fee can tell them why they suck, why they were dumped, why they didn't get the job, why he/she didn't call, why their taste in music/books/film/comedy/food sucks, you get the picture, right? It's just bugging the living daylights out of me when I rush to the phone only to see a certain select few call (no, not you, all 4 people who read this) and know that the discussion will be why their life sucks. Me, I'm hoping it's one company that I've sent a resume to wanting to talk to me about some peasant role that I'll do so I can earn a paycheck. Hello? I haven't worked since July 31 last year, I'm well aware of life sucking, I just do my best to not dwell on it. Believe me, not working is about #3 on my depth chart of why some things suck. So if you have a job, relatively decent health, are cute on some scale and someone is interested in hanging out with you, can it. Better yet, don't call. Like, ever again. Feel free to pass along this message, copy/paste it, I don't care. If someone is bugging you or annoying you, tell them, you'll be doing the rest of us a HUGE solid.
So I'm going to lay out the rest of this blog so you can skip certain things if you'd like. I won't be offended, honest. It might be a timesaver for you, how do I know what you're doing? And, I vow to do better on my tags for this blog, I did really well a while back, lately not so much. With that out of the way, on to the view from a Mile High
Politics
I'm about to say something that could be considered controversial. Barack Obama hates black people. How could I say such a thing? Easy, really. If Kanye West can get away with saying George W. Bush hates black people during a benefit for the people of New Orleans, then I can say Obama hates black people for doing nothing for 40+ days on the BP oil spill in the whole Gulf region of this country. Oh, he hates white people too, make no mistake. And since he's half black and half white, he is a classic self-loather. Why wait so long for BP to dick around with a solution to solve the oil spill from hell? He has the Army Corp of Engineers along with the Navy sitting at his disposal, what is he waiting for? Oh, to find out from some random 'experts' so he knows whose ass to kick....uh, ok. Meanwhile, states who rely on tourist money (why the hell else would you go to Louisiana or Florida, the humidity?) are sitting there about to bankrupt while he finds this massive ass to whoop. Sorry boys and girls, but in case you hadn't noticed, our President here in the good ol' U.S. of A. is nothing more than a reactionary cog. He has no new ideas, and if he does, it's those ideas that will kill our economy and make us all try and live more on the gubment teet.
If he's so great, where are the jobs? No, not just mine, where is the job creation he promised? Oh wait-it's not his job to get me a job. But, it is his job to leave the private sector well enough alone in order for them to keep hiring schleps like me.
I'd also like to know where in the heck his head of the Dept. of Justice gets off leaving that whole Black Panther voter intimidation case just slide. If a group of white males stood outside of a voting place in white robes wielding batons I'm pretty sure they would be in jail by now. I'm telling you, we're just scratching the surface of how crappy of a President this guy is. No, I'm not comparing him to any other President when I say that. I'm saying this guy's body of work so far is beyond terrible, so bad he's even managed to piss off his own constituents and the independents that voted for him. His DOJ wants to sue Arizona for stating the same thing as the Federal government but can't get his crap together on the oil spill, taxes, health care, or voter intimidation. And before all the liberals go ballistic, here is a comparison for you-Obama has deported more people that W.
And please, for everyone's sake, stop calling it reverse racism. That makes it sound like only white people can be racist, which is ridiculous. And enough about 400 years of slavery-Jews were enslaved, Irish, Italians, all sorts of other ethnicities have been involved in the history of the world as slaves or indentured servants....you don't hear them pissing and moaning about things that happened to them centuries ago. Racism exists everywhere, doesn't make it right, but please oh please don't sugarcoat it or justify it by putting the word 'reverse' in front of it. I can only speak for myself, I could care less about the color of your skin, but only the content of your character. Go figure, a honky like me hearing the words of Dr. Martin Luther King.
My last little ditty about politics is regarding how much I despise the end run game certain groups continue to run on the the general population. I live in a state where it happens. Here's the scenario-a group gets together, gathers enough signatures and gets an issue on the ballot. The people vote on it. The group's issue doesn't pass. But wait! Now we'll go to court and say that it's illegal. Hold the damn phone here. You asked for the people to vote, they did, you lost. Now it's illegal? How does this work?? Or the other scenario, measure is voted on, the people say yes, but the government (in their imminent wisdom) says it's illegal. Wait just a second. If it was illegal shouldn't you as the government had your lawyer-types check this thing over before it got on a ballot? Either way, it's all crap to me.
Sports
2010-The Year of the Narcissist?
Brett Fav-ruh, you're excused from this discussion, because you pulled this stunt last year. But what you did last year pales in comparison to the last few months and yesterday. And here's the best part, as a sports fan-we have the antidote right there in front of us. No, I don't mean college sports. Please, after watching major AD's throw themselves at new conferences, that would go right in line with what else we've seen. But fret not, as you will see by the end of this rant that all hope is not lost.
Albert Haynesworth
Big Al, you will be dealt with by your teammates, just in case you didn't get the memo. Big Al got the biggest contract for a D-Lineman last year, was decent in playing, hurt a bit, and then this past April cashed a check for $21 Million. But that's not the best part. The best part is that his new coach and his new D-Coordinator have decided to switch up the D, going from a 4-3 to a 3-4, and Big Al doesn't want to play nosetackle...like, ever. Boo, hoo. The Redskins are his employer, and they've made a decision to switch things up. Big Al as an employee is pretty much required to do as they say. Now, don't misunderstand me. If I made a lot of my money and accolades doing things one way and then someone new came in and told me I had to change up, I'd have a hard time. But the money is already out there, it's been accounted for, by player and team.
Big Al decided not to show up to some OTA's and that got some of his teammates all sorts of fired up and offended. It's one of the things that isn't discussed nearly enough on ESPN-the jealousy of how much the other guy is earning. I'm really curious how much haterade is passed around in a locker room, aren't you? Hell, if it happens between accountants at lunch, it has to happen in an NFL locker room. It just has to, doesn't it?
Well, Big Al could have given the money back. And by doing so maybe, just maybe, open up an opportunity with another team. But after pulling this stunt of pouting and not showing up for OTA's, what team would want him? And consider this-various reports had Big Al as one of those guys who would 'level off' once he got the big payday. Those nicks and bumps he played thru in Tennessee, no more once he got to Washington. I don't want to say it, but I'm thinking Big Al is another one of those guys who can claim to be a team player while it's clear as day he's all about himself and his paycheck. I'm just sayin'.
The LeBacle
Why am I calling what happened on Thursday night with LeBron James that? Well, I've seen it elsewhere, and it fits. Don't worry, I'll be giving all sorts of links on this one. But I'm also going to take it from all sorts of different angles. The most important one in all of this is the ultimate Narcissist. Here we go, all my reactions, some others regarding 'The Decision':
1. Uh, did you just use your name in the 3rd person? Like, 5 times? It was cute when Rickey Henderson did it, because while I believe Rickey to be cocky as all get out, there was an aloofness about Rickey that made me think he didn't know any better. LeBron, you know better.
2. I think Mr. James severely underestimated the backlash that has and will continue to come his way. Please, spare me the whole angle that even a blind person could see thru, doing this special at the Greenwich, CT Boys & Girls Club. Like this whole thing was about the kids. Spare me. LeBron set up the sponsors, one of which happened to be Vitamin Water, showing the LeBron commercial! Oh, and guess who runs James' marketing...well, that would be a holding company run by...wait for it...LeBron James. So he paid himself.
3. Souf Beach? Where the hell is that? Look, either you're a polished speaker, like Jordan, Magic and Kobe, or you're an idiot. 'Take my talents...'? Gag me already. And that whole routine about dreaming about the decision and talking to your mother about it? I'm calling Bullshit on this one. So is a certain writer on ESPN, and you made Stephen A. Smith look like a genius.
4. As a former Cleveland Browns fan (sidebar-your squad leaves town, you're allowed to pick a new team. So I became a Pats fan. Ask a Baltimore Colts, Seattle SuperSonics, or Winnipeg Jets fan if they still follow the team, and wait for the death glare) my whole issue with this self-love fest was that this guy just left a city and a region high and dry. I have more salty words for it, but what's the point? Hell, LeBron James just made Art Modell relevant again. For the record, Art hasn't set foot in Ohio since he took the Browns and ran away to Baltimore (do NOT get me started on that one, please, for everyone's sake). Nor should he. Art, you're still public enemy #1 in Cleveland, but the self-proclaimed 'Chosen1' is currently in the lead. An old co-worker of mine sent me the following text after James made the decision-"Hitler would be more welcome in Cleveland." Ouch. And I don't take jokes about Hitler too kindly usually.
5. People are burning this man's jersey in effigy. This ain't Europe and soccer. I didn't think people in this country got this fired up about anything. I stand corrected, and forgot what it's like to be burned by one of your own. Well, the closest thing I can remember is Roger Clemens leaving the Red Sox. But he was from Texas, we in Boston adopted the Rocket. LeBron James is from Ohio, which is why the decision to leave baffles me.
6. This cannot be overstated-LeBron James is from Akron, Ohio. He knows all the BS the city of Cleveland has gone thru. And yet he chose not to call his now former owner to keep him up to date or even say thanks. He didn't just come out and tell Cleveland it wasn't happening, which by now I think we can all admit to ourselves was never really in the cards. I wanted him to stay in Cleveland, because I can't imagine the feeling of doing something at home. Now, as a basketball player I'm not so good, but what if got off my ass to do stand-up comedy and I made it? You don't think in one of the corners of my mind I haven't thought about how awesome it would be to sell out The Orpheium (is it even called that anymore?)? That's making it, for me, in my world. If James had stayed in Cleveland and won? We're talking deity, Sports God, the likes of Derek Jeter in NYC, John Elway here in Denver, Steve Yzerman in Detroit, Ditka in Chicago. But add on another layer...because he's from there.
7. The non-stop coverage was embarrassing. ESPN should still be in the shower washing itself with steel wool for it's non-stop barrage of speculation and making a bigger spectacle of this than was truly necessary.
8. Really, I think I've stated this before, but I will state it again-ESPN needs to stop catering to the lay fan. I don't think there are those people anymore. I think they are looking for a non-existent audience. And in doing so, you tick off diehards like me and the people that rarely care. I firmly believe that the casual fan is a thing of the past, with twitter, facebook, automatic updates on the cell phone and people like me who are out of work, sports radio, I think we the people are at our saturation point.
9. For me, the best coverage online of this whole thing was Deadspin, and it's not even close. My favorite article was this one before the whole ABC after-school special was forced on us. The more I think about what ESPN agreed to, I kinda feel dirty for them, like the first time I watched Jodie Foster in 'The Accused'.
10. Now, my favorite reaction, maybe of all time in a public forum, is what Cleveland Cavaliers majority Owner Dan Gilbert posted online. Here is the link, but I will just take something off the top:This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
11. From the angle of this could be his easiest way to win a title, sure I'll buy it. But please, stop calling Chris Bosh a superstar. Purely from an on-the-court perspective, how is Bosh going to get his points? 60+ percent of his baskets were scored off of a pick and roll, how does that happen with James and Wade, especially since James is still given the jumpshot? Granted, this is by far a very top end talented team, but I want to see it filled out on the roster sheet before I crown their ass champs.
12. I have a request of ESPN/ABC/TNT or whomever gets the first Miami Heat game in Cleveland (this is more directed at the ESPN/ABC people)-if you are unwilling to kill the noise of the vuvuzela during World Cup matches, and really that's fine, then please, don't try to turn down the noise at Quicken Loans Arena. I want to hear it. Admit it, you do too. LeBron went from Native Son to Hated Son faster than anything I can remember seeing in my lifetime. I see a lot of people comparing this whole sham to a heel turn in pro wrestling, but there's a problem with that analogy. Pro Wrestling is scripted, acted out. LeBron may have been calculating and quite harsh to a group of people, but I don't think it's scripted. I don't see him going on TV tomorrow in Cleveland and saying "Sike!!", do you?
13. Jason Whitlock calls James and his posse a bunch of clowns...and he could be on to something. Bill Simmons was kind enough to do a mailbag and let Cavs fans vent. I can't imagine how much this hurts for them, because they've had a lot of crap to deal with as fans. And I know Cleveland gets a bad rap, but I've been there, had a blast and thought the people were really nice. If Dan Gilbert wants to hire me to help get that team together and develop a winner, I'm quite available.
14. Miami Thrice? That's the best nickname you could come up with? Lame. Better yet, FAIL.
15. Stop the comparison to the Celtics. I'm serious. This is nothing like 2008. Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen were traded to the Celtics, not signed as free agents. Also, that Big 3 were all over 30 when they were teamed together. James is 25, Wade is 28, all in their prime or still on their way to the prime, not on the end of the prime. Knock it off. Miami has no damn sports history, it's nothing like Boston where people are miserable because of the weather. Believe me, if I grew up around a warm beach and half-Cuban drop dead gorgeous women my writing style wouldn't be like this, I can guaran-damn-tee it.
16. Did anyone else notice that a guy the Heat drafted 2nd overall two years ago was dealt for a 2nd round pick? Uh, while I get the whole salary cap ramifications and the need to trade him to sign the Thrice (seriously, that's terrible), sure seems like 25 cents on the dollar, no?
17. The biggest contract in this whole mad mad free agency period so far has gone to Joe Johnson? Apparently Atlanta's front office missed that ass-whooping Orlando laid on them.
18. The David Lee/Anthony Randolph trade will be the best one to watch, for both teams.
19. This whole decision thing was pre-ordained, it reeks of trying to hard, too rehearsed. I can see how going to a different organization would be amicable, but the method in which LeBron James did it will always be what a lot of people, me included, remember the most. This whole courting of LeBron was all about LeBron's ego.
20. The notion by Jim Gray that part of the reason James would enjoy this because he wasn't recruited to go to college just struck me as disingenuous. Uh, last I checked, James said he wasn't going to college, so why would any program waste their time and resources to chase him down? Moreover, James was the #1 pick, right? I just want to know why that question was asked-was it to make James seem more human, more fallible? Was it filler?
21. At the end of the day, James had a chance to be a basketball god, and instead chose Judas. His call, and it will reverberate thru northern Ohio for the rest of his and his family's life. Mark my words, James son won't be recruited to wash whiteboards at Ohio State.
22. I'm stating it now, when Miami plays the Lakers, I'm actually going to root for Kobe Bryant. I want the one guy I know for a fact has the killer instinct to disembowel Miami, and I hope it's on Christmas. I'm talking one of those 55 point games that just shows everyone who the alpha dog in this fight really is. Then I want Miami to play my beloved Celtics and get locked the hell up, only score like 80 points.
23. I don't care who else the Heat sign, if I'm reading the tea leaves right, David Stern wants another Lakers/Celtics finals. That would be just desserts for the year of the narcissist, right? Teams making the finals instead of a group of individuals?
The Antidote
Here's the best part about all this self-promotion; for every jackass we have to read about, or hell, every 10 jerks we have to read about or see on TV, there comes 1 or 2 guys you can look at and breathe easy. I now present to you the Antidote for the following 3 diseased athletes:
For Brett Favre and all his bitching and backstabbing of the Packers, and now his will he/won't he play routine, I give you Donovan McNabb. Why McNabb? Easy, the city of Philadelphia never embraced him, and forgot just how good he was in bringing that team up from nothing. And when he got traded to Washington, he's said nary a bad word. Refreshing, huh?
For Albert Haynesworth, I give you Ndamukong Suh. Show up for camp? Check. Busting his hump? Check. Already given back to his university in quite a grand gesture? Check. Next!
And lastly, for the Chosen1, the King, LeBron James, I give you Kevin Durant. If I had one wish it would be for Durant to show his talents in Seattle rather than Oklahoma City, but those fans showed up for the playoffs. I don't hate on them, just hate on how the SuperSonics became the Thunder. But here is how Durant handled his extension, in case you didn't know he signed one.
Hockey
Why is Tim Thomas still on the Bruins? It's a fair question. Does any team, can any team, afford a $5 Million backup goalie? I'm thinking the B's could use that money extending the deals of Chara and maybe even Savard, or signing another winger. I've read reports that Thomas' agent has been given the green light to go find a deal, but that he hasn't. Why? Does this guy want his client to sit on his ass and collect the money? I can't say earn it, because if you're getting splinters in your tooshie you aren't earning anything. I get the feeling reading the wire reports that some teams are thinking that they can just outscore their opponents and win a Cup based on what the Blackhawks just did. And I think they're wrong.
Uh, I thought Ilya Kovalchuk was a good player? So is he going to flirt with LA again, or Mother Russia? I am curious if he either misjudged the free agent market that badly or if there is something else (mob ties? he collects dolls?) keeping teams from kicking the tires on that guy.
Football
Anyone else want to bet me on what happens to JaMarcus Russell in the next 2-5 years? Other than a potential prison sentence, of course. And as I posted on my facebook account, I will be changing all my fantasy football team names to Purple Drank or Sizzzzurp or some version of the recipe.
Baseball
Nick Swisher is an All-Star? Well, if Omar Infante is, why the hell not! Major League Baseball is starting to come dangerously close to a 6 yr old soccer league-everyone's a winner, no one keeps score and all get a trophy because they tried hard. If this was the case I'd get a damn medal for my trials and tribulations in the dating world. Yes, I want my damn ribbon!
I won't bore you with my thoughts on the rest of the All-Stars and the selection process, only tell you that I will not be watching the Home Run Derby to listen to Chris Berman bloviate all over my TV set. I'm good, thanks. Maybe I'll catch up on my ironing (hey, you never know when I'll get an interview...do you?) or read a book.
Other Stuff
The greatest Sammich ever?
Friendly's has decided to throw fat people their dying rope. Yes, if I lived in Boston I would order what I'm about to tell you and show you. First, the picture:
Look closely..yes, that is a burger surrounded by not one, but 2 grilled cheese sammiches! 1500 calories. No, it doesn't come with it's own trial pack of Lipitor, or a defibrillator. Why order it? Are you kidding me?! Just to say I ordered it. No, I couldn't pack that away. That's like 3 or 4 sittings, or buy it Saturday afternoon and dust it off by halftime of the 2nd game on Sunday. I'm just glad some restaurant out there has the 'nads to say the hell with it, fat people, come and stuff your face here. I just want to know if you have to sign a waiver before they actually cook it and bring it to your table. Yes, I said table, because there is no freaking way someone that eats this thing is thin enough to fit in a booth. Thems the rules. I don't make 'em, I just announce 'em.The job hunt
You're kidding, right? This has become laughable. I can only state for the record that I'm looking at a lot of really cool opportunities. In both Denver and Boston. The job offer wins, and that's all that matters. I appreciate all the advice and takes from everyone, whether it be solicited or not, but your opinion matters not. The only one that can matter is mine. There are plenty of people here that would love me to stay, and I'm flattered. There are those in Boston who want me to come on back, and for that I am humbled. Really. This is not some self-aggrandizing 'Moi?' type gesture. I'm kinda surprised. I'm just me, not that big of a deal. And please, while I appreciate the, ahem, 'advice' of telling me to network, what the hell do you think I've been doing-going on CareerBuilder and Monster just clicking buttons? Hardly. I have been looking for opportunities that I know I won't be bored with, or mad at because I made a bad decision. I have done that in the past and really don't want to do that again, it wouldn't be good for me or my relationships. But, I would like to earn, and soon.
Baffling, simply baffling
I had someone IM me the other day to unload their latest relationship drama. Safe to say I believe my eyes were raped. I didn't care about this person's newest issue, nor did I want any part of it. But there it was, on my screen, popping up at me. This ties back into the Curse of Competency. This dumbass was thinking of dumping their latest toy after introducing him to her parents. Apparently they are too different. Uh, you wait until after the guy meets your parents to figure that you need to have 'the talk'? I present to you the Queen of mixed messages. So I simply asked if she'd be free after the talk, for 2 reasons-1)it's funny, admit it. And more importantly 2)maybe this woman would get the hint that I don't care about her self-inflicted relationship issues and leave me the hell alone. She did not find this amusing, which just proves that we ain't gots to be friends. I have got to figure out how to block people on the IM...oooohhh, maybe it's time to 'unfriend' someone else on Shit-Starter, I mean, uh facebook.
The last few notes
So the only other thing I've been doing is talking to Ma every Sunday, and making her laugh. She needs it. So I'm happy to oblige and remind her of all the goofy times we have had and all the stupidity that goes on around us. And her laugh is kind of calming.
I forgot to mention it, but a week ago, or 13 years and a week ago, I drove up I-70 and showed up in Denver. What a strange ass trip this has been. I'm so thankful for the people I've met, the laughs I've shared and the person I have become for it. I never would have been the guy who writes this had I never left the east coast. One of the reasons I've definitely over-thought this whole to move/stay decision process is because I know more things now. When I got here when I was 21 I thought I knew it all. I didn't know squat. I don't know if I'm much smarter now, but I'm far more calm than when I arrived, more measured. Sure, I still have my fastball and can cut it up with the best of them, but I pick my spots now. I'm so thrilled to have spent all this time here to allow myself to grow up. I still don't know where the next few weeks will take me, but I'm a whole lot more sure in my capabilities to make that decision, whatever it may be.
Have a safe and happy weekend.
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