I'm taking care of the sports crap salad first and then dealing with how absolutely 'awesome' my weekend was....
College Basketball
I would've gotten them all wrong this weekend, and I'm kind of glad I barely watched anything. This crap is going to set basketball back decades. Watching Michigan State is like watching Gladiator combine with basketball. I feel like this whole tournament was set up to watch Duke return to triumph....yuck.
Hockey-Utah, get me two!
On the college front, I was given an actual good website to take a look at, check it out. And to ESPN, you're losing your grip an all things sports information, MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ah, the Frozen Four is set, Miami (OH), Wisconsin, BC, and RIT are your entrants. And I wish I could've seen the Miami finale, a double OT game? Now that would have been fun to watch.
On the pro front, I'm prefacing this whole thing with one phrase-Lock 'n' Load, Campbell. And I don't mean soup. I got some pointers to look up some stuff, and I'm astounded. Did you know Colin Campbell has ties to the Penguins? I did not. Oh, you thought I was letting go this lack of suspension on Matt Cooke? You don't know me that well, then. Gee, I wonder if Campbell would look out for a mate under the same shield..hmmmmm? Yeah, I went there. What a crock of shit. Campbell's son plays for Florida, so I'm wondering what would happen if Cooke had done this to his son, and I mean the same exact thing he did to Marc Savard? What would happen if Cooke took out Campbell's kids knee? I wish no pain on anyone, I'm playing the asshole card here. Why is no one screaming about this, other than in very small pockets? This stuff should be the leading thing on websites, and some TV sports shows? I want to know why it isn't.
Marc Savard talked to the media on Saturday, and he covered different things. You can read it for yourself, I'm only going to focus on one part of it. I'm going to focus on the reaction of varied degrees to the fact that Savard has 'brushed aside' Cooke's attempts to contact him. First, I call bullshit. This is nothing but a hollow PR attempt by Cooke to try and take some of the shine off his 'Doucher' trophy. And I wouldn't be shocked at all if we found out at a later date that it was Campbell's idea to 'reach out'. Hooey. Second, why should Savard want to talk to him? Let me see if I have this right (and yes, I'm taking Savard's side on this one, I don't know how to be a cheap shot artist)-you cheap shot me, I've had to sit in the damn dark for 3 weeks, my life is completely off-balance, I can't help my team, I can't earn my paycheck, you make a mockery of a sport, and I'm supposed to answer the phone because you want to apologize? Get Bent. Third, unless you know someone with intimate knowledge, we have no idea the conversations that have been had in either locker rooms or organizations. I can only hope that the B's realize that they failed to pummel Cooke at the appropriate time, only because it allowed those gutless wonders (uh oh, the hulk is coming out to play) the audacity and temerity to ratchet up the stupidity, University of Ottawa style. (side note if you don't know what I'm talking about-Ann Coulter was to have a speaking engagement at the University of Ottawa, and before she even got there was given a letter warning her about how certain speech is a jailable offense, mostly because she might tick off a liberal. Meanwhile, this same university has had Holocaust deniers speak. So while she hadn't said anything yet, wanted to make sure the university was all lathered up. Coulter canceled her speech after riot police were called in to secure the facility. So much for academic freedom). What do I mean? Well, why were Gary Bettman, Colin Campbell and the head of officiating at the Pens/B's game on March 18th? Why did Campbell address both teams before the game? What was said? Why was a stellar officiating crew assigned to the game? Was a change in the officials rotation changed to meet the expected fisticuffs? Why wasn't this treated as any other game as was this hit to Savard's noggin? These are legit questions, right? And I'm a casual fan!!!! I can't imagine what a puckhead is thinking reading this. Either they've thought of it, or are disgusted by it. Hell, Cooke's own teammate (and former Bruin) Bill Guerin said this crap needs to stop. Lastly, to those that say Savard is a poor sport for not answering the phone....alright fine. You're a contractor-if I take a hammer to your strong hand, but then apologize, will you accept it? You're a barista at a coffee shop-I chuck hot coffee on you and scald your arm, but then apologize, will you accept it? You make my burrito at Illegal Pete's-I smack you in the face with my just made burrito, but then apologize, do you accept it? No, not right off the bat? How about I say nothing for two-plus weeks and THEN reach out to apologize? Will you accept my apology? Rings kinda hollow, huh? The first two examples were of debilitating injuries, the last one is insulting. All are offensive, in any way possible.
I'm tired of the notion that because someone apologizes that the person being reached out to has to accept it. What kind of PCretardedness is this? This is the same type of group think that we see with the trophy kids running out of college right now. Everyone gets a trophy, ergo everyone wins, and everyone is entitled. Wrong....wrong on so many levels that I lack the patience and energy to explain it, and I have nothing but time. I'm not saying that Cooke should be suspended indefinitely for his transgression(s), but if Sean Avery can get a suspension for asking who's nailing his sloppy seconds under the guise of 'Conduct detrimental to the game', how is Cooke's any less than that? The guy has taken head shots and knee shots at opposing players. He's a dirty player. What happens if Cooke does this in the first round of the playoffs vs. Montreal (if the playoffs were to start today, it's Montreal/Pittsburgh in the 2/7 matchup) and takes out Scott Gomez' knee? What happens if Georges Laraque is on the roster for the playoffs comes off the bench and McSorley's Cooke? I'd say that's on the heads and hands of the, ahem, 'leadership' of hockey.
Something in the water in Pittsburgh?
like the date rape drug or something? Uh, Big Ben, no need to show every underage drunk coed how big the bell is on the clocktower, ummkay? And now Santonio Holmes is showing team solidarity? Oh, and you stay classy as always former Steeler Joey Porter, I'm betting someone in the Cardinals front office is wondering why they just gave you a contract for $24.5 million.
asshole weekend
So how was your weekend? Mine-can I get a reset button or some boxing gloves? Either will work. Saturday night alone is enough to make me question the last 34 years of what I've been doing. I will put it all in to context, but here were the 3 comments said to me-"He has bracelets", "oh, you're alright", and the gem of gems, "Oh, so you're one of those shiftless layabouts?"
Comment #1-"He has bracelets". I met a buddy of mine for a few beers, he in a suit from hosting a charity event, me in jeans and a shirt. We were at the far end of the bar, kind of in an in-depth conversation, not just BSing. Two women approached us, I think, because neither one of us was paying attention. They asked if they could hang their coats/bags on the hooks in front of us under the bar. No problem. We went back to our conversation-seriously-he's married and I'm not in the mood. One of this bimbos (it'll make sense in a minute) announces, "He's got a ring, and he has bracelets." Uh, I am also bald and kinda chubby, anything else you want to point out? You might think I'm a wee bit sensitive on this one, but the context is that she was kind of irked that my boy is married (hater) and felt the need to announce that my 'bracelets' were lame....yup, that Livestrong bracelet that damn near everyone has is lame. And so is the other one that is much much closer to my heart. Grrrrrr. My buddy noticed my ire being stoked, nodded slightly and we tried to go back to our conversation. Now, I don't know who taught these youngsters their bar etiquette, but if you see two people at the far end of a bar that isn't crowded, what makes them think it's okay to poke their head in between our conversation and order, especially without saying 'excuse me'? You're damn right I shot 'em a look, and it was noted that I was not thrilled to be in their company, sorry, but I was in the middle of an in depth portion of a conversation. Sorry if I don't want to be semi-involved in your douchebag commentary. I was then told what I thought....rookie mistake, and a bad one at that. No one has a damn clue what I'm thinking, and I'm at times such a prick I'll switch it up, especially with strangers who are trying to figure me out. I met my friend out because he asked, I didn't ask for witty banter from a snaggletooth. I don't think you're cool because you have tattoos, I don't want to hear about your divorce, or the guy whose heart you broke because you're selfish. I've seen that script, sweetie, I'm all set. She kept going, while in the background her friend who started this whole episode of nitwitted reparte was making out with some guy she just met like the ship was going down...did I mention that it was only 10:30? I'd had more than enough, and politely told her that she doesn't know me, will never know me, and to bring it down a notch. Also that I my age I don't care what people think of me, and that it must suck trying to figure out what I think she is. I don't care. Really, we aren't friends, and we probably won't be. Have a good night, buh-bye. And with that, she and her haggard friend were gone. And I didn't yell.
After that lovely encounter, it was as though the douche-gates had opened and where my buddy and I were camped became fratboycentral. Ick. I think I got a venereal disease on my shoe. Or maybe it was nausea from the cheap cologne, or the high fives and Brosiveness all around us. Either way, it was the 5th or 6th time my buddy was rammed into that I noticed it was time to depart. Down the street we went, my buddy was hungry and this place was a little more tame. A table of women sat down next to us, clearly loaded. They were playing Walrus (putting straws in the mouth), and having fun, taking pictures. They asked if we'd take pictures. Well, the really drunk one did-her dress falling off and her eyes in that half-glazed look. When she asked our names, she told my buddy all the hot guys she's meeting lately are married named Brian. I'm offended at her trying to hit on a married man, mostly because it's my boy and I was in his wedding, and know some of the stupid shit that's gone on since. I'm only slightly offended at the slight given to my glorious mug, which was casually dismissed as "oh, you're alright". Gee, thanks. Feel like giving me a hard candy and patronizing me any more? My buddy laughed, because this is funny. He's married, and if he were a jackass, he'd have his pick of the trashy litter of skanks. And he knows this. Well this drunk girl's friend came over, all squeezed into her dress, quadro-boob out in full effect, and wanted us to sit with her and her friends. Sure thing. Except my buddy leaves, nods in deferral, and is gone. So I'm sitting with 5 people I don't know. Well, I'm self-entertained, so I'm game. Banter and introductions all around, then I get asked what I do for a living. I should probably start lying about this. Because when I answer that I'm unemployed, "Oh, so you're one of those shiftless layabouts?" Wow. I hadn't thought of myself as one of those people. I thought the 33 resumes sent out and 1 phone interview I'd done in the last 2 weeks is something to be kinda proud of. Apparently not. "Why don't you just get a job at McDonald's?" In all seriousness, had I been in a pissy or grumpy mood, she'd probably still be crying. I answered by asking her if she'd take a job at the arches herself. "No, of course not." Her condescending tone cannot be accurately portrayed on this page. Even her tits-mashed-together friend was kind of shocked at her own friend's behavior. I could only tell her that I'm working on commission only gigs dealing with IT and gaming systems (pub trivia, but would you go into details?). "Oh"...oh? Sometimes I wish I had a sister, one that would protect me like I would her, just to see a bitch get smacked and put in her place. It was damn rude, and it was also time to go. It was kind of hurtful. And spiteful. I didn't make myself unemployed, but boy was I sure made to feel like an invalid. So that's why I think I'm going to start lying about what I do. Just to avoid that type of scene altogether.
And now you know why I'd like a reset button or boxing gloves for my Saturday night/weekend.
What's got me creased
Briefly, I'm only going to say that you naysayers win. I don't believe anymore. In what? Ask the question you'll get an answer. I have been verbally and spiritually bombarded by the non-believers. I'm beaten. I don't believe in the things I used to. Love is for suckers. Marriage is crap. It's all a sham. Happy now? I hope so. It's on you. Because with this comes the caveat, and I've forewarned it. The A-Hole is back. I'm tired of it, evil wins. The only thing I'm planning on doing that I've been doing is calling my Mom on Sunday. Other than that, the hell with everything. Let's play. I'm done with half-truths, the cheating, the lying and all the ills. I'm jumping in. What tipped me? I got an email from a friend of mine yesterday that shocked me. She is one of the sweetest women you could ever meet. The kind of woman your own Mom would be thrilled if you were to date her or even be friends with her. Smart, funny, kind, gives until it hurts. And she got played, strung along. Her? Why would it be okay for her to get hurt? I get why I can get hurt. I'm a prick sometimes. But you know what else? I'm a heck of a nice guy a lot of the time. And I'm done getting my teeth, heart and balls kicked on a consistent basis. I tried to tell you all, but if you refuse to listen it ain't my fault. My circle of friends is now going to be tighter than ever, and those on the fringe will get to figure out if they want to be around or not. But I'm suspending Mr. Nice Guy until further notice. Why? What's the point, that's why? Time to put on my selfish shoes and see if they still fit. Oh, and in case you've never met this version, I'm telling you, there is no bigger asshole on the planet. I learned from the best, and even I'm not sure what I'm in for. But I am sure that I won't feel bad, because no one else does. I'm taking a Democratic tone, and I'll tell you that since y'all voted for it in your own way, this is what you get. I've been fighting it for a long time, but I'm thinking I'm going to make Gordon Gekko look like the damn Pope to start. You want honesty? No problemo. But with me, it's going to be brutal. If you're my friend, you needn't worry. You're fine, really. Nothing will happen to our friendship. However, if you're on the fringe or the outside, sorry, can't help you. Wait, I'm not sorry...too damn bad.
Via Con Dios, Partnah
To my boy John, you will be missed. I know you're only moving to Seattle, but I will miss you being down the street. You are kinda like the big brother I never had, and I can't thank you enough or tell you how much our friendship means. I appreciate your kind words, your insight, and your candor. Most importantly I thank you for your listening skills and being a guy I can and have leaned on. I know, we will always talk and will catch up when we can. I wish you and the family nothing but the best on your new adventure in the Emerald City. It's going to be awesome. You know if there is anything you ever need, be it a ride from the airport to an ear to listen, I'm here, just a phone call away.
For those that just read the above, you know if you're there with me or not. Pray for those that aren't, it's about to get really right. Why? I don't keep it real, I told you, I keep it right.
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Now playing: Weezer - Troublemaker
via FoxyTunes
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