Be Yourself, No Apologies

The title says it all, really. It's advice I gave to someone I met last night. I was asked by a friend to give one of their friends advice on dating, as this person has recently been released into the wild one more time. And that's my advice, for everyone. Be yourself, no apologies. It's been my motto, in my own way, for a long time. There's an ebb and flow to it, sometimes it seems to be hidden, and then when someone mistakes my kindness for weakness, I'm forced to defend myself. So be it. I've been called a few names the last couple of weeks, and that's fine with me. People hate it when you call them out on their shit. You know it, I know it. Ever call your friend on their BS? What happens? They get all sore, don't they? Of course they do! They may even get defensive.
But I won't apologize for it. After I've called out some people they want to know how I figured them out. Easy, their walls were crap. False bravado is just that, false. Fake. Phony. BS. I'm not here to fix anyone or anything, but I'm just a wee bit tired with the dance and runaround of crap I am damn near forced to listen to. Gee, your life sucks? Too bad, what are you doing to fix it? Nothing? Then can it, already. I had a woman tell a friend, in front of me, that I was being an asshole. His reply? "He's not being an asshole, he is an asshole-and that's why we love him." Ah, validation! And why was I an asshole? Simple, I called her out on her crap. Like I do with everyone. I'm an equal opportunity offender. I will call anyone out on their crap. I will also allow them to lie long enough to bury themselves.
Well, this poor guy is now single again, and wanted to hear from someone who's been on the frontline of this crazy world of lies, bs and plausible deniability. So I told him, be yourself, and don't apologize for it. If you're a nice guy, be a nice guy. Someone out there will recognize that. Some will try and take advantage of that, so have your head up for that. Some people are just stupid and can't see awesomeness when it's in front of them. Their loss. On to the next. Have thick skin and be able to walk away. Yes, it sucks to admit all of this. I wish I weren't slightly jaded, but 'tis what it is. I know I have a soft spot for certain people, and I hope they never take advantage of me. Karma is a big ugly bitch and comes back in spades depending on what they've done and whom they've done it to.

I have no idea what the difference is between 'Be Yourself, No Apologies', 'To Thine Own Self Be True', 'You Keep It Real, I'm Keeping It Right', and 'Don't Tread On Me'-they all say virtually the same thing to me. The asshole is not 'out' in me, I've stated it far too many times in this blog, the ignorant keep thinking it's okay to dummy down the rest of us with their boorish behavior, and I will not apologize for having a sense of decency and decorum. They wanted a culture war? Fine, I call. Feel like going all in against me and my ilk? By all means, I beg for the opportunity to show you all how a gentleman handles business. I've slept quite well since Monday night once I got my shit straight. I suggest you all do the same. Watch out for your peoples. Keep them on your mind, in your heart, and in your thoughts. Emailing and text messaging count for this example, too. For now, at least.

Now, for all those that tell me to keep my chin up on the job hunt, allow me to retort...Shut the hell up, already. You know who keeps telling me to do this? Employed people. Please, shut up already. Really. I'm busting my ass trying to find a job. All over the damn country. From sea to shining sea. And I get 'keep the faith' as your version of encouragement? What am I, 13? How about this? It sucks out there, it sucks the employment situation I'm in. It sucks that I miss my Dad. It sucks that I'm nuts about a woman across the country while I try to date females that aren't half the woman she is. Now that I've stated that it sucks, can we please move along? I have, I'm not wallowing in it. I'm recognizing that the situation blows dog. I've read that this is a healthy thing. Now that I've screamed it out in some form, I can move to a more healthy aspect of job hunting, etc.

Why the above diatribe? Easy, last Monday night. I was texting two different people very dear to me, in very different situations, but less than 30 miles from each other yet 1800 miles away from me. And there's nothing I can do about either situation, at least not from here. And face it, it's frustrating. Let me ask you this-if you're the backbone of your family, of your friends, of your business ("Your Name" Inc.), and you listen to everyone, try to help them if they ask, humor them when they need it (yup, I'm the court jester), or just let them vent, what happens to you? Who do you vent to? Where do you put everything? I have nothing really to pour myself into. Yes, I work out almost daily, but that's a mere 20 minutes, tops. Then what? I don't have a punching bag, I don't have anything that I can concentrate 12 hours on, I have my own version of ADD, I can't stay on topic for too long. I don't even want to. But what happens when the backbone is stressed and overloaded? I'll tell you-I shut down. And I cry. Call me a wuss, I could care less.

But you know what the best part is? Sometimes, someone gives you a pat on the back just to let you know it's okay to be human, to stand up for yourself, to flip off the moron on their cell phone not paying attention as they cut you off. Quite frankly, y'all can't hold me. Not down, not out. I'm just lurking now. So I've been knocked down, I'm a little bit dirty. But I got back up.

And I'll be damned if this is the crap that sends me down some shit spiral. Guess I'm just too dumb to stay down...and I like it that way.

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