Lots to get to, and you better be ready to laugh...

Okay, so it's been a few days since I've really written anything other than the last two posts of hilarity (sorry, if you don't find the whole dating process hilarious, you'll do nothing but drown in pity and feelings of failure/stupidity). That being stated, please keep two things in mind; you don't have the right to not be offended, and dating is a process-and the process works. I firmly believe that if you are single you are single by choice, because you either want to be single or you're an idiot/ass/jerk/numbskull/etc. and haven't figured the whole thing out yet. I have friends who have chosen to be single. Most of what follows doesn't involve them. If they're happy, and I know that they are, then I'm happy for them. If you have a friend who's complaining and wondering why they are single, tell them to look inwards before blaming all those they've chosen to go out with.

As always, these are just my thoughts based on my life, no one else. Do with it what you will.

The Job Search
So, how is the job search going? You must be kidding. I'll be kind, and say 'Not all that good'. I will also let you know that I'm laughing at this whole process. I was on the phone the other day and was asked if I had 3 years of healthcare experience. They called me! How hard is it to read my resume? Like I would hide that type of information. My favorite job posting so far is where a recruiter tracked me down, had me fill out a 20 question form, then tell me that the company she wants to present me to would love me, she's sure of it, but they just lost their HR person, so it could be a month before she hears anything. Fantastic. How is this NOT funny? Well, this is a little sobering. And I honestly thought about moving back to the northeast? Please, share that link with people you know complaining about their job right now. They ought to feel a little lucky that they can collect a paycheck. I've been out of work since August, and I'm bored. My job right now is job hunting. I'm a pro. I'm helping others find stuff, and stuff they even like. Speaking of which, I need to do more searching after I'm done typing this thing up.

My Brother
So he called over the weekend, and for most of the conversation it was fine. He and I can talk about damn near anything, mostly sports, because it's light and nothing really has to be said. But when he started talking about our Mom it's when it dawned on me. The kid is just pig-headed. When he started talking about Mom the bile comes out, the venom. And I have no idea why. All she does is care and help him. But he doesn't like answering questions, because she worries. The guy is 28 and he's an expert at everything. He's closed off. I feel bad for him because he's going to wake up in like 20 years and wonder why he has no friends, why his family doesn't want him around, and he'll think the world is against him. He won't open his mind up to the idea or thought that he could learn more. I do envy his conviction, I'll say that much. I wish I was as sure of things as he is. But if it means I have to an ass to my Mom, I'll pass, thanks.

A few days belated to the bestest woman in my life, Happy Birthday, Ma Dukes. I can only hope I'm as kind to the world as you at the age of 59. You should all wish for a lady like this in your life who does nothing but love you and support every endeavor you come up with, mostly on a whim.

In Sports......
Brandon Marshall wants out of Denver. And apparently the sun rose from the east today, again, like every other day. I was driving from the grocery store on Monday and flipped by the Denver sports radio station (it's not nearly as douchey as Boston, but it still sucks) and they were talking about an article written by Denver Post's Mike Klis, here it is. Look, if the real reason he wants out of Denver is because he hasn't managed to deal with Darrent Williams death, then go into the front office and explain it that way. Don't act like a complete thug or an idiot, as he acted like a thug in the preseason and an idiot after complaining a week after breaking the record for being force fed the football in a game for a receiver. I'm not saying that B-Marsh shouldn't be shaken up by his friend and teammate dying. But maybe he ought to look inward and see what part he may have played in that incident. Maybe he should try and be accountable for his actions. It's what frustrated me about what was being said on the radio. The host was making excuses. Sorry, but death happens to someone everyday. We all deal with it differently, and yes, we're even allowed a few episodes. But Marshall is a pro football player, and I'm 99% certain that there is a psychologist on staff. I'm also pretty sure that when Darrent Williams was murdered there were people put in place to discuss certain issues with the players on the team. If my boy Kenny is reading this, remember when one of our best friend's father decided to commit suicide a couple of weeks before prom? Remember how he acted? He lashed out in his own way. I can't tell you that it's wrong, and I can't say what's right. I can say this, while my Pops wasn't murdered, I know things now I didn't know back then, but I had people around me who were kind enough to check in on me. Brandon has teammates and family that should be checking on him. If he wants out of Denver because of his own guilt, then the guy needs some form of therapy, and please, I hope he gets it. That kind of guilt can probably make a man, any man, do some damn stupid things. And there is nothing wrong with a change in scenery. It's been known to do people from all walks of life quite a bit of good.

LT2
so LaDanian Tomlinson gets released by the Chargers, then says he wants to go to a team that can win a championship. Uh, does he not know his track record in the playoffs? Or did he forget about pouting with the visor on back in Foxboro in the 08 AFC Championship game? Or the simple fact that there is no more tread on his tires as a RB, and his YPC (yards per carry) has gone down drastically in the last 2 seasons, culminating with 3.3 YPC this past season? Sorry, when it comes to running backs and linebackers, when it's over, it's over quick. There is not a whole lot of slowing down on your career, it just happens. It sucks, really. But 9 quality years in the NFL is about triple the average career, so walk away while you have your health and your dignity. I know why Jim Brown and Barry Sanders walked away when they did, on top. Is there anyway you'd rather go out? Would you rather people tell you that it's been fun, but we don't want you here anymore, or go out on your terms? Mind you, if LT2 wants to play a few more years, it's his choice, but I always thought it would be cool to play with only one team, in one city.

The 'Cuse
Shut It Down! That is the team phrase this year, and my boys are 26-2. Two more weeks and it's conference tourney time, the week after that it's NCAA tourney time. You know, while I'm not so happy to be out of work, at least I can watch all the college hoops I want. I believe this is known as looking at the bright side.

spring training is here
Pitchers and catchers have already reported. Now so is eveHope springs ryone else. That means baseball is around the corner. Ah, hot dogs, cold overpriced beer and fresh cut grass. Hope springs eternal, unless you're a Kansas City Royals fan.

Dating...I shaved my head for this?????
Let me preface this whole thing with the fact that what some would call a 'date' last night was a travesty wrapped in a comedy, and be reminded of Katt Williams:


So if the line for you ladies is that you have to kiss a lot of frogs, what's the equivalent for guys? I'm not looking for Ms. Right, or even Ms. Right Now, but I am forcing myself to get out there. There is no point in staying home and wallowing in self-pity. That, and I'm certainly hoping to prove to myself that I'm not homely. I don't think I am, but I have my doubts. Some may call this sad, I call it my version of therapy.
Lies, damn lies. "Holy Fuck" is what I thought when I saw this woman walking into the bar, and if you've known me long enough, you know I don't swear that much, and have never said that phrase out loud before in my life. It's the combination of holy shit and WTF that went thru my head. She was a very, very large person. You can think bad of me if you want, but when I say big, I mean big. I mean bigger than me. I mean almost 300 lbs big.
So when we spoke the other night, I swear, she must have had some type of questionnaire, and it was rapid fire. I felt like I was being interviewed. And I think I was. I guess I passed. She asked if I wanted to meet up...uh, okay.
So how big is too big? I'm dead serious. You see, to me it's a subjective answer. I know what type of women I like, what type I've dated, what size they've all been. I don't like skinny girls. Flat out, they aren't comfy to be around. They rarely eat. And I will not be near people that aren't willing to eat. Eating is going to probably happen if that whole dating thing continues with the same person, so I'm told.
So what did I learn from this experience? Beware the photofib. What's that, you ask? Simple, watch out for cropped pictures or people who won't post a picture of what they really look like. I will explain this more in a second. Another thing that I learned is that some people are hung up on religion. I don't think I am one of those people. As a matter of fact, I hate discussing it when I first meet someone, in any realm, be it work, a date, a dinner party, at a bar. How do you bash 4 different religions and then say you aren't religious? Isn't that like me stating my disdain for the Yankees, Lakers, Canadiens (Montreal, I love the rest of you Mother Canuckers), Georgetown, all things LaDanian Tomlinson and then saying I don't like sports? And who talks about porn on the first date? Where am I, the AVN awards banquet?
On my last date before this one, this woman came back from a trip to the bathroom to tell me that she "Didn't want to get married and can't have kids". What the hell? My response?
"Well I guess that kills my plans for 8:30". What was I supposed to say, 'Gee, thanks nutjob'? Who says that? Yup, this is going to be one strange trip, but I assure you I will write all about each thing, because this is funny. Mostly because it's not happening to you, but still, it is happening.

So why do this and tell you about it? The ford focus story. One day I'll explain the whole thing, maybe even this weekend. But in a nutshell, we all want to be considered a little bit dangerous. Apparently you need to be the ungettable get. What a crock. What happens if you meet someone you actually like? Ah, the fun we all get to have.

This is going to be one strange ass trip. Face it, it would be easier to wonder about someone else from afar than to deal with this crap, but I guess I have to force myself to get out there. She ain't showing up at my doorstep. What else have I learned?-be a dick, it's a sad statement that it's working, even in the job search. I think that old adage may sadly be true, nice guys do finish last. That one hurts, because it shouldn't be that way. I've said it before, if y'all want that asshole to come out and play, he will. I unlocked the door for his cousin, the cocky bastard just last week. Unfortunately, it's been working. I hate being proven right about this stuff. Being a nice guy hasn't gotten the results that, in theory, one should get. Oh well. However, when it came to the girl last night, I was polite, I wasn't an asshole. Had she been mean or a diva, I don't think I would have been the same.

Lastly, because this is funny

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Happy Wednesday. If you have some type of topic you want me to rant and rave about, let me know about it so I can do some research.