Best comment so far was an email from my buddy John, "Good Lord Tolstoy.... I had to cut down a tree to print this thing out". Now that's funny. Can't wait to see him next week for dinner. I've got dinner plans with 3 different people on 3 nights in a row....how the heck did I become so stinkin' popular?
Now, for some follow up to my last long-winded blog. I'm still a bit tired, but it's from caring about a few people. Mostly, honestly, is Ma. I worry about her financial situation, her mental health, how she's doing day to day, and how her heart is. Not in the medical, cardiovascular sense, but in the way of the love of her life being gone now for 8 months and how she's dealing/coping/managing. I've heard and read way too many stories in my life about people dying of a broken heart. I'd hate for that to happen to her, but I would also understand, very much so. She was with Pops for 40 years, something completely unfathomable in today's world. Most people wouldn't stick around for that long. I've just noticed a lot of people in their relationships that when the going gets tough, it's too hard and they leave. Like a marriage is a BlockBuster card, you can just walk away from it. Clearly, that's not how I was brought up.
I worry about my brother, like ridiculously. Why? He's a maniac, sometimes in the funny way, other times in the way of he needs a valium and therapy or he will harm someone. He goes from zero to pissed in a nanosecond. I know, I used to be like that a long time ago, too. But I started to calm down in my mid-20's. He's 27, soon to be 28. You can't wake up mad at the world, the world doesn't owe him anything. And he hasn't put his best foot forward. He's done some great things, but sometimes I get the feeling that he's afraid to try. That worries and saddens me. If you live like that, eventually you end up bitter and wondering 'what if?' all the time. Sorry, I'm not saying I'm better, but I am saying that I can look back and for the most part say I don't have regrets.
And that brings me to my 'special guest'. Why have I coined her with that term? Easy, it's in reference to Melrose Place-or don't you remember the credits that always had Heather Locklear as a special guest? It was a running joke. It's still funny. It's like knowing someone forever, being friends with them and calling them an acquaintance.
So, why is she on my mind? I'll leave that answer out there for the winds to answer. I have no idea. Well, I have an idea, but I'm not saying. I always want to make sure she's alright. Well, within my powers at least. I know she's surprised that she can have that kind of effect on someone (how?-she told me, duh). I'm also pretty sure she doesn't want that kind of 'pull' or power, but it's not for her to have that control. It's my head, it's my heart. So there (now imagine a first-grader sticking their tongue out at you. I know, very mature argument).
So the other thing that I can't believe I forgot to mention was last Friday night, we went out, and I got boob. Yup, that's what I told her I'd write, and I can't believe I forgot it!! How can a guy who hasn't gotten boobage in like (you know what, let's not talk about that-it's depressing)-how could I have forgotten? Easy, really. I didn't really get it. I knicked it. With my elbow. And I was hoping she wouldn't notice. Right, like I wouldn't notice someone grazing a nad with their elbow? Such an idiot. Really, I'm normally fine until I get around a girl I like and then I'm a complete klutz. Want another example? Fine, 5th grade. I was invited to the cool kids table and immediately spilled a whole bottle of grape juice on that girl. 5th grade relationship over before my ass could even hit the seat. Yes, I am that damn gifted. It hasn't gotten much better than that in the 23 years since. Apparently, I got boob (now try and NOT chuckle at that whole scenario, realize it's me, and put down any liquid you may be thinking of consuming in the next 5 seconds, so as for you not to spit it out.)
I've got a boatload of torturous dating/romance/fumbling/drunk/random stories, and in all seriousness, they all have some version of me spilling grape juice. It's a metaphor, you'll figure it out. Want to make yourself look like a dummy in front of a woman you're interested in, give me a shout, I'm pretty sure I can come up with something.
Alright, enough about that stuff. I'm barely going to touch on the NBA Finals, other than to say I stopped watching halfway thru Game 2 after listening to commentators tell me how much Kobe Bryant wants it. Really? I thought he didn't care at all. What, the other guys on his team don't? Wait a minute, do you mean to tell me that the 15 guys and the coaches on the Orlando Magic are just thankful to be here? No? Then shut up already. Oh, and note to Kobe, whatever that new face you have made up for the playoffs is creepy-it's the face I kind of imagine you made that fateful night a few years ago in Eagle, Colorado. It's scary, but not in that campy cheesy horror movie kind of way. Just stop, please. You're not from the 'hood, you have no street cred, just let it pass you by. Seriously, your Lakers win this title and you'll be in the top 10 discussion for greatest players ever. That ought to be enough for awhile. Freak.
The Boston Red Sox are now 8-0 this season against the NYY. Let that sink in while I go laugh out loud at the money they spent on Sabathia and Burnett. Hey Yankees fans, how's that bullpen coming? Oh wait, your favorite team doesn't have one. And that, dear folks, is why they won't make the playoffs. Pitching and defense win titles. Always have, always will. And for those that want to know why I haven't mentioned the Teixeira signing, it's really easy. Yes, he's a really good player. I won't go so far to say great. But he's basically replacing the offense of Bobby Abreu with a little more pop. His defense is so much better than Giambi's last year that it is making a difference on ERA's and other stats, but at the plate, he's pretty much replacing someone's numbers. Oh, and the Yankees are old. Cano and Cabrera are the only young guys on that team. Yes, Teixeira and ARoid are barely 30, but look at the rest of that team. Lastly, how's that 4 year deal Posada signed two winters ago looking now? I hate to say I told you so (Okay, I love it), but I think if you go thru the archives, you'll see I was correct in my reasoning.
Lastly, watch hockey tonight! Root for the Penguins, even if you don't like Crosby. Why? I'll give you two reasons as a sports fan-1)The Red Wings are kind of like the New York Yankees to me. There's no joy in them winning. Where's the fun in that? And 2)Marian Hossa. He left Pittsburgh after last season so he could go play for a championship. Uh, buddy, you're playing Pittsburgh, how's that working out?
And please, don't go giving me that whole 'the city of Detroit needs it' crap. The city of Detroit is in shambles after 30 plus years of voting for all sorts of stupid things and letting unions ravage it's most important businesses. Just google their last mayor, he only got some strippers killed, no biggie. I love people from Detroit, they are a tough minded group, but that city sucks. I've been there. It's the only place I've ever really been afraid of walking across a street. East St. Louis didn't freak me out nearly as much. Besides, the Red Wings won the Cup last year, and the Tigers won the AL in 2006. They've got plenty of sports to be happy about, not including Michigan State being in the NCAA championship game 2 months ago.
And if you don't like those reasons, here's the lame one everyone gives me when they root against the Red Sox and Patriots-'I want someone new to win it, they win all the time'. Morons. I don't like Detroit or their teams, so I'm rooting for Pittsburgh tonight. There, I said it.
Happy Friday
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