No, I'm not talking about my latest dating exploits as a high school guidance counselor, it's about the crap going on in the sports world as of this moment. (And if you didn't think that was funny, then stop downloading 'naughty schoolgirl' porn!)
Manny, I'll miss you
Look, I could bash Manny Ramirez, much like a lot of sportswriters have done in the last week. In the 2 weeks before Manny was given away to the Dodgers, something changed. And because of all of Manny's transgressions, I wish him well in La-La Land, where people don't nearly give a shit about the Dodgers as 'the Nation' does about the Sox. Manny's act finally wore thin, not with just the upper management, or Tito Francona, but even his own teammates had had enough. And when was that line crossed, exactly? No one knows for certain...well, maybe a few beat writers do, but I sure don't. So maybe it was one of the following things that happened this season:
-Your fistfight in the dugout with Kevin Youkilis
-You pushing down a 64 year old travel agent when he noted he wasn't sure how he'd get you 16 tickets in Houston for friends
-You mysteriously missing 2 starts each against both Joba Chamberlain and Felix Hernandez
-You stating that your knee hurts while taking a game off in Seattle, right before the last home stand vs the NY Yankees and then not remembering which knee it was that was hurt
-The 3 strike at-bat vs Mariano Rivera at Yankee Stadium in which the bat literally never left your shoulder.
-or lastly, the simple fact that you dogged it, and couldn't care less
Who knows, could be any one of those reasons, could be a combination of some of them. Don't know, don't care. All I can say for you is that you just pissed on the most enabling group of people you'll ever meet. Think it's great in LA because no one cares? Wait until October. Just wait for it. If the Dodgers don't make the postseason and the Red Sox do, there will be no tickets waiting for you. And it'll eat at you. It better, or I seriously misjudged you. And maybe that's why people are mad, telling you 'good riddance'. You've never changed, but a lot of Red Sox Nation has been excusing you and your behavior for 8 years. We've enabled you. We've given you every excuse. We even came up with the gem, "Manny being Manny" slogan. I should know, I've got a freakin' T-shirt to prove it. Manny, we just wanted you to grow up a teeny, tiny bit. Take a little bit of responsabillity and accountability for your own actions. And then you started to stir the shitpot with statements that the Red Sox don't deserve you.
Well my friend, that does it for me. I wanted to be nice, to part amicably, but you wouldn't let it happen. The front office tried to be peaceful, tried to be respectful, but then you had to go out and bash them, and make snide comments about the city of Boston. Fine, I'll say it...Buh-Bye, Manny. Yes, you will be missed in the lineup-only if they had the guy that felt like trying-are you worthy of the uniform. Otherwise, Fuck Off and have a great time in a place where the fans notoriously show up in the 2nd inning and leave in the 7th.
You sir, are a dog. How do I know? ESPN finally did something worthwhile in the last 3 months, other than telling me when and where Brett Favre shit (and don't you worry, he's next). They timed you down the line a few times before you were traded. 5.7 down the line in a no-hitter bid?
That's why I won't miss you. You're a dog. A 36 year old infant. Not a moron, or an idiot, as some have called you. A dog is much, much worse. An idiot is forgiveable, for they know not what they do. You were calculating and callous, and threw 24 other guys and a manager out like yesterdays news. That's jacked up, in any profession. Oh, and for the record, if you push a 64 yr old man down in any other walk of life in this country, it's considered assault. It's also a pussy move, too. I'm more dissappointed in your teammates for not laying you out than anything else.
Now, Manny, I do wish you luck. I hope you get to make it to the World Series to play the Sox and Josh Beckett puts a nice big fastball between the 9's on your new uniform. Because that's what a dogger gets, punishment. Call it baseball karma.
I'll say this for Manny, he has in my mind one of the top 5 prettiest swings I've ever seen. Here they are in no particular order; Will Clark, Barry Bonds, Ken Griffey Jr., Manny, and Mike Piazza to right-center. Manny, as far as a hitter goes, I will always remember you last October---or that's how I want to remember you, forever. Me looking over at my buddy and stating, 'if he's looking for a fastball in, and is locked in on that, this game is over and that ball may never land.' Sure enough the next pitch came and went, and there you stood, arms raised, and the whole 'Nation' was cheering with you.
Via Con Dios, Brah!
Paging the newly named Captian of the Selfish Squad
Yes, Mr. Favre, that means you. As of right now, this is the dumbest and most drawn out soap opera I've seen in sports. Maybe I'm nostalgic for the days when there was only one ESPN, or only 3 people had the internet. But now it's gone beyond ridiculous to the retarded.
Brett, you're just a selfish prick. There, I said it. Can we move on to why you're this person I speak so highly of?
You never took Aaron Rodgers under your wing, never hung out with him, barely spoken to him. Nice, way to treat the new guy. Jackass.
You stated in your RETIREMENT press conference that this wasn't all about you. Really? Then who is this all about?
Now you've come out and tried to dictate where you can play. And it seems as though we have a commissioner in Roger Goodell who is more than happy to help. If I'm Packers GM Ted Thompson I'd tell Goodell thanks for the fucking, but most people leave the money on the night-stand. Damn!
Here's the crux of the whole stupid saga. Fine Brett, you want to come back, great. Grab some pine. Aaron Rodgers is the starting QB for the Packers, as it's been since you stated you'd leave...oh, and were crying. You don't get to tell me where you're going to play, and I'd be damned if I traded him to the Vikings. How does that work? I thought if it was your team you got to run it as such? I mean, if Goodell wants to tell a team how to get run properly, how 'bout taking a gander over at the Arizona Cardinals or the Cincinnati Bengals? The Packers are well run, but he gets to stick his nose in there??? How is this right?
Of course, as I'm typing this, who knows if Brett just got traded to the Jets.
Brett, go back to your lawn-mower, please. At the very least, how about you never go on FoxNews, MSNBC or any other news station again to 'plead your case'. You're as see-through as a window, and you are a selfish, selfish man. Admit that, and we can all move on.
Prince Fielder
Did anyone else see this crap last night? Prince, you too, are a bitch. Your pitcher just didn't do so well, so what do you do, push him twice. I love ESPN....they come out with the graphic that there was a scuffle. No there wasn't. A 270 lb baby pushed a pitcher, and angrily. Way to be a team leader. I've never liked Prince, mostly because he's been bitching about his Dad, Big Cecil, forever. Live and let live, man. Most parents suck, it's part of their joy. Kids don't come with instructions. Why don't you just do your best to make sure you're a better father than he was? Instead, that anger is there every day. And you just pushed a pitcher who helped you into the wild card race. How were you hitting in April, fatass? Not so good. Try 8 HR's in the first 2 months of the season. You're a joke. Thanks for cementing my opinion of you.
Oh, and lastly, to ESPN...we get it, Brett Favre landed in Green Bay yesterday. Could you just have Chris Berman suck him off on the tarmac and end the charade, once and for all?
No comments:
Post a Comment