alrighty, I've done that, now what???

sorry it's been soooo long since I've last typed up anything. If you had all this stuff flying around in your melon, you might be apt to say nothing, too.

so, here's what's on tap for this rambling:
politics, including why your gas prices are so high and a new way to tell you how you're a racist
I got a freakin' job!
and sports

Political humor...look, if you take anything away from this blog, please let it be that I'm probably more fed up with the way politicians use certain forums, and never the internet as one of them, to figure out what the heck is going out there in the real world. The world that you and I live in, full of fat people, ugly people, those who don't have the ability to drive, and my all-time favorite, people who walk side to side, so you can never move past them at a ballpark.
I'm starting to think that people who write blogs and stand-up comics will be the last bastion of truth for people wanting news. It may be slanted, but at least we admit it. Case in point, the NY Times recently ran a headline that stated that an unarmed man was gunned down by police. Now, based on that, you'd want to read about this, and you'd probably have it in your head that something messed up happened. Well-once you read the story you find out that the so-called 'victim' was clearly NOT unarmed...he was trying to run the police over with a car. Gee, can a car be a weapon? I'm pretty sure that question there is part of the D U H test. But the editors at the Times wouldn't want to say anything nice about the police, now would they? Don't worry, soon enough we'll be hearing and reading about Al Sharpton saying it was racially motivated...of course, 2 of the 3 officers involved in the shooting are black, as was the driver of that car trying to run them over, but lets not worry about the details.
As for gas prices in the US, I love what I get to listen to...the most uneducated people telling me that the reason we have high gas prices is all because of W! Are you kidding me? Look, here's an article with someone tame explaining it...done with that? Good, here's my take on it: You're all idiots. There, it's been said. When Congress put on yet another dog and pony show last week, it was all for the morons in this country. I can't believe we elect these people!! All this bitching and moaning about profits...yeah, so?? These companies don't answer to the government, they answer to stockholders. More importantly, they are making the same amount, if not less, on gasoline than they have in the past. It's called a profit margin, and if you don't know what that is, feel free to google it and then come on back. One of the CEO's of a gas company was in this hearing, and told members of Congress that last year they would make .10 on a gallon of gas, they now make .04....how is that an increase??? In what pea-brained world is losing more than half of your return considered a gain? Honestly, I wish one of these CEO's had the balls to stand up and state, for the record, "Are you stupid or slow? That way I'll know how to talk to you." My favorite person so far has been Patrick Leahy, D-VT, when he chastised one of these guys for not knowing his salary. How 'bout-"more than you". Or, "enough"? Whose business is it of a member of Congress to question what one makes? All of this, mind you, is under that guise of what's fair. What a crock. There is no such thing as fair in life. Sometimes life sucks the big one, and you just better open up wide for it. Other times, it rains skittles. Get over yourself. And you honestly wonder why I'd consider running for President? I'd be slapping old white guys up and down the halls.
Senator Ted Kennedy has cancer. Quite frankly, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Think anyone made him wait 10 hours after stroking out? Doubtful, at best. Yet that's how long he made Mary Jo Kopechne wait in the water while he pondered his political future. Hey Ted, here's a nice big EFF U. You suck as a human. I don't wish cancer on anyone, but pal, you've had some bad karma coming your was for a lo-hong time now.
I will say this on behalf of Teddy....when I was flying last week, I got to read a McPaper (USA Today) and there was a picture of Ted hugging his niece. A decent picture, but they could've printed something else...the picture was the backside of him with a huge band-aid on the back of his head...not exactly the best picture...I mean, come on, he is one of the mainstream media's darlings, you couldn't get a better picture than that?
Now, for all my bigot/racist fans out there...Newsweek has developed something called the Racial Resentment Index...read that again. So, I'm saving a bunch of money not buying magazines anymore. And why did they come out with this gem? To see if the reason people wouldn't vote for HusseinObama was because he's black. Wow. Just plain wow. Of course, this gets better, it's only for white people! God, I love this country. Here's what really fascinates me to no end-on August 28, 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King spoke on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and in his "I have a Dream" speech, he stated that "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
Dr. King, I wish you were alive today, I wish your children had the courage to stand up to HusseinObama and all of the Guilty White Party, and say "Enough!". I truly do. I won't vote for HusseinObama, and it has nothing to do with the color of his skin. I would've voted for Colin Powell 8 years ago, or 4 years ago, if he had run for office. I will not vote for this man because he lacks character, because he'd sell his Grandmother down the river, because he associates guns and those that believe in a higher being as being "country", because he's been linked to one of the biggest, baddest racists to ever stand on a pulpit-Reverand Jeremiah Wright, because he has been associated with William Ayers, a man that once bombed buildings in our own beautiful nation. And I will not vote for him out of guilt. I could care less about 400 years of slavery, I've only been around for 32. It wasn't my fault, nor that of my ancestors. I will not vote for this man because after his wife states that she's only been proud of this country once, and then she gets taken to task, he tells everyone to 'back off'. Wrong answer. If your lady doesn't like the heat, tell the bitch to get her ass in the kitchen. I'm done listening to people pander to those of a different skin tone. You want to prove to me you're a man. Then stand there and take the heat. You better pray, HusseinObama, you don't have to meet me in any debate come 2012, because I can beat a bully-pulpit, too. I can talk like a Southern Gospel preacher, too. You are nothing but a slimy snake-oil salesman. You have no character, you have no spine, and you lack something so clear to me I'm offended you've made it this far....you lack integrity.
Say what you want about Bill Clinton, another person I don't like a ton, but when his brother was in trouble, he stood by him. You'd toss your Grandmother to the media and let them dissect her. That sir, is beyond despicable. I may not like everything certain people in my family has ever said or done, but I'll stand right beside them thru thick and thin. You have shown how yellow you truly are.

So, I got a job!!! I know, it's been a long time coming, and I've got all sorts of funny stories, bad interviews, and the dry-cleaning bills to prove it all existed. But I've learned a lot about myself and my friends during this 8 month self-imposed layoff. First, to my friends, thank you for your support. If you attempted to help me find a job, big props to you as well. For those that didn't help, well poo-poo to you. How grown up of me, I know.
This is the so-called exciting new chapter in my life, we'll see how things go. I'm excited and can't wait to get started. I'm just wondering how this is going to impact my life, since I've gotten into a definite routine these last few months. But this will be a good thing, I'm certain of it.

As for sports, I've got a small confession to make: I can't wait until my subscription to Sports Illustrated runs out. I will not be renewing my membership to this club, maybe never again. I'm sure you're wondering why, but a little background is required. SI is owned by CNN, so we'll start this off by saying it's a tad bit liberal. Quite frankly, injecting politics into sports is not why I get this magazine, nor is the swimsuit issue, although that's a nice perk. But I've had enough with some jab being thrown in every stinking issue. I get it, you don't like W., seriously. But just because that's the case doesn't mean I want to read that jab every week. I just don't. If I wanted to read a hatchet job on the President, I'd read the NY Times, Boston Globe, LA Times, or Washington Post. Otherwise, I'd move to Boulder. You may think I'm making this up, so here are some examples in the last month (4 issues):
May 5, Picture of Hillary Clinton on pg 24, and asking athletes what a superdelegate is....I don't care what an athlete thinks a superdelegate is or not. I want to know why they think throwing a slider that hasn't worked all day in a 1 run ballgame with a 3-2 and a man on 2nd is a good idea.
May 12, pg 36, "Late in the 3rd quarter of Game 1 in the City That Care (and FEMA) Forgot, Paul Sped toward the basket with his characteristic shoulder-high dribble."-What the hell does FEMA have to do with the NBA Playoffs???? Does anyone over there check some facts before they print this crap? You really want to blame the US government for what happened in New Orleans? Can we agree that this city is built below sea level? Can we agree that it was a dump to begin with? Can we agree that both the city and state governments may, just may have not done their job all that well. And Big Brother government is supposed to save them? Just stop it already, you're raping my eyes with this crap writing.
May 19, pg 80, article is entitled "Inconvenient Truths" (I'll give you some stuff around this quote, it'll be highlighted): "I want Manu Ginobli to get it over with and flop on contact during the San Antonio Spurs' pregame handshakes. I want a team to get blown out and blame it on God. I want George W. Bush to say, 'All things being equal, I screwed up the country far worse than I did the Texas Rangers." I want Allen Iverson to demand a no-practice clause in his contract-and I want Phil Jackson to demand a no-Iverson clause in his.---are you kidding me!!!!??? What the hell does this have to do with sports? He owned the Texas Rangers quite a decent amount of time ago. He then sold it and went on to be the Governor of Texas. What the hell does the war have to do with sports? I know I'm missing something.
May 26, pg 16, "Maybe what we need right now is a long and expensive investigation into the special teams career of Marshall Faulk. At the end every citizen will know exactly where Faulk lined up on the St. Louis Rams return team during the 2002 Super Bowl. Then we can all relax and go back to paying $4 a gallon for regular unleaded."--seriously, is it me, or are these not thinly veiled shots at our President, even our federal government? At least this story goes on to tie-in Arlen Specter, but come off it already.
Add to this the charming pieces on Carlos Delgado not standing for the national anthem and the brilliant Al Gore ghost-written job on global warming's effect on sports, and now you know why I'll be done when the subscription runs its course. I can't take anymore of this crap. It's garbage wrapped in a bikini sold to me as sports, and it's anything but. SI should just change it's name to "Fuck off all Conservatives, you'll Never understand our place in the World". But the funny thing that could happen if their were to be an amendment stating that all viewpoints would be presented, they'd have to pay someone like me to write for them....The Horror!!!

Another piece of political stuff...Hey HBO, I get it, you hate W., too. Want to know how I know? Instead of busting out some good war movies, like Pearl Harbor, The Apocalypse Now, Deer Hunter, Good Morning Vietnam, or hell, even Top Gun, this was your lineup on the night of Memorial Day, a day we here in the states use to remember and thank those that have served this great nation:
Your new movie about the 2000 election, Recount, was on 3 different channels, at the same time
The Patriot (alright, slightly uplifting)
Baghdad ER
Jarhead
Instead of HBO, why don't you just change it to F.U.W.---otherwise, maybe for next Memorial Day you can show Bill Maher taking a dump on a flag, it will be easier, cheaper, and I won't have to really hunt for the symbolism. Jagoffs.

So, when it comes to sports, I have about had enough with the writers from Boston. I can't blame them, however. They are used to bitching about everything. Well, the Sox are close to the top of the AL and the AL East. I for one don't think the Tampa Rays will make it thru the season. It would be nice if they did, but I don't think their pitching will hold up. Just a gut feeling.
That being said, I know some Yankees fans who aren't shaking in their collective boots, but they might want to start thinking about it. And there is one simple reason....they're old! Jeter is 34, Posada and his brand spankin' new contract is 36, A-Rod is coming off of a quad injury, Mussina is 39, Giambi hasn't been the same since he got off the juice, and Damon is 35. And the kids that they were counting on to pitch are doing so in the big spotlight of NYC. And they aren't producing. Guess what? Not a lot of young pitchers do. Add to it the incredibly shaky defense behind it, and this is what you get. I hope GM Brian Cashman quits before the season is over, because every day he gets to look over his shoulder with Hank Steinbrenner staring at him, and I can only hope he looks back with a, "I told you this could happen!" look. It was inevitable, and now that they have Posada and A-Rod locked up for the next 3 seasons, at least, this is going to get ugly before it gets good. I don't care if they sign CC Sabathia or Mark Texeria in this next offseason...they won't matter. Who's closing in the next 2-3 years? They will have to buy a closer, a 1B and maybe an outfielder or 2. It's just not going to happen.

The C's need to win tonight, it's obvious. But I must say, that Doc Rivers reminds me way too much of Grady Little. Does anyone else feel that if the C's had a different head coach this series with Detroit would be over tonight? How about the past 2 series against the Hawks and Cavs, respectively? And as much as I love him, someone needs to tell Kendrick Perkins to zip it. You're not an all-star, and you keep fouling people 26 feet from the hoop. Knock it off so you can stay in the game. Please, you're a good member of the team, but the whining needs to stop, it doesn't help you.

A couple of items and then I'm done for today....

A decent charity, one I assure you I will donate to after I get my first paycheck. I like the idea, and want this to come to the states badly.

Boycott Subway-they are having an essay contest, but home-schooled kids entries allowed. Keep your agenda and your diarrhea inducing sammiches to yourself then...I'll go to Quizno's.

Happy Wednesday!!