ugh, and other real news

So I forgot to keep updating my NCAA tournament picks over the weekend. Believe me, I could sit here and lie to you and tell you that I would've picked all winners, but that would be a bigger lie than Roger Clemens has been telling us. More on that in a couple of paragraphs.

So, has anyone seen the D-1 All-American team listing that came out over the weekend? I have to say, what a crock, what a sham. Not overall, mind you, but here's the list, and you'll definitely know where I stand on some of this stuff.
1st Team:
Tyler Hansbrough, F-UNC
Michael Beasley, F-Kansas State
Chris Douglas-Roberts, G-Memphis
Kevin Love, C-UCLA
DJ Augustin, G-Texas

2nd Team:
Luke Harangody, F-Notre Dame
DJ White, F-Indiana
Roy Hibbert, C-Georgetown
Shan Foster, G-Vanderbilt
Stephen Curry, G-Davidson

3rd Team:
Chris Lofton, G-Tennessee
Darren Collison, G-UCLA
Derrick Rose, G-Memphis
Eric Gordon, G-Indiana
Brook Lopez, C-Stanford

Are you nuts?????!!! DJ Augustin got tooled on in a mano-y-mano game on Sunday against Memphis and Derrick Rose. Rose ought to be a top 5 pick. There, I said it. He's the best in college hoops, and he flat-out killed Augustin, holding him to 4-18 shooting. I know this is college, but Memphis lost 1 game all season, and they've made it to the Final 4.
I've also got a serious beef with Roy Hibbert even being mentioned as an All-American. What did he do that was remotely impressive all season, other than be tall? Brook Lopez deserved 2nd team over him, and I can name 3 Centers in the Big East that tooled on Hibbert, but apparently him being a preseason pick means that he has to be picked.
The last pick I have a serious issue with is Chris Lofton. If you'd like me to name 5 other Guards better than him, I will. I can score 18 a game, too, if you allow me to jack up 20 shots with at least half of them being behind the arc. Get real. I also can't stand that no one from Drake or Butler get any love on this damn thing. At least Stephen Curry made it, and then made everyone look like a punk in the tourney.

Kansas, what the hell? Yes, you over there cheering for the Jayhawks. Seriously, do you feel comfy about playing UNC on Saturday? Good, because you're about to get rolled. Talent-wise, you're on par with anyone in the country, but I saw something this past Sunday vs. Davidson, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. You don't play to win, you play not to lose. It's a recurring theme on this blog, because it's something I can't stand! You beat a team that was much less athletic and smaller in stature than you by 2. Why Stephen Curry gave the ball up with 6 seconds to go is beyond me, but I can't even fathom that he had a chance to beat you. You were outcoached and outplayed, severely. And watching your Coach, Bill Self, damn near shit himself in slo-mo was beyond hysterical. Quite frankly, I didn't think you deserved to win that game, and I have a funny suspicion that UNC and POY Tyler Hansbrough are about to mop the floor with you.

More on college hoops, interesting article on IU hoops in the latest ESPN the Mag. Also, 2 members have been dismissed from the squad. If you add DJ White and (potentially, er, probably) Eric Gordon, that's 4 players that got serious minutes could be gone. Sad to see how that program crumbled under a few hundred cell phone calls from former head coach Kelvin Sampson, breaking NCAA rules. That team 6 weeks ago had the look of a potential Final Four team. Seriously, if you look at Sampson's last 2 games as head coach, the Hoosiers waxed Michigan State and Purdue.

**Breaking News**: It looks like IU will be hiring Tom Crean of Marquette.

News, including the WTF? portion, which is always a good reason to either think about buying a firearm or smacking someone.

Here in beautiful Colorado, we have some lovely punk-ass kids who think that this is okay to do. As for me, I'm glad this isn't my Mom or neighbor. If it were either, I'd drive around the town with her in the car until she said, "Them!". And then, let the beating begin. How are you going to beat up an old lady? Wicked tough. Put another tick by the side of my FUTATY Program (FUTATY stands for Foot Up The Ass of Todays Youth). Oh, 2012 can't come soon enough. This qualifies as WTF, in case you were curious.

Pamela Anderson says no to marriage? Who gives a rats ass? Sorry, this may not be newsworthy, but I read that this morning, and had to make sure my coffee wasn't laced with NyQuil. Someone told her they were engaged and she responded with a 'sorry'. Are you kidding me? Look, I wouldn't tell Pam anything other than, "Hey, nice tits" or "saw your video, you shoulda done porn", other than that, who cares what this bimbo says? I know, this person shouldn't have said anything to her, but then to reply with that because you're horrible at picking mates? Hey Pam, here's a thought, straight out of left field...maybe marriage isn't for you, hmmm? I figure once you get divorced twice and then have your 3rd marriage annulled, maybe you ought to try dating for awhile. Waddya say, huh? I bet some fan-boy will give your old, tired, Hep C filled snatch the ol' runaround. Although, I'm thinking that if you want someone as well hung as former hubby Tommy Lee you'd better go the porn route, because I don't think he's what can be considered average. Oh, one other quick thing for you before I move on to my next topic...shut your trap and close your freakin' legs, it stinks out both ends. No one cares about your thoughts on people getting married. Getting advice from you on nuptials is like me giving advice on hair care. Go away for awhile, puh-leeze.

In other news, I know I've mentioned this story before, about the teenage girl who committed suicide and MySpace may have been involved. Well, MySpace was the vehicle, now we get to hear from someone who was driving. Anyone else want to go down to Missouri and smack the snot out of this buffoon? Way too cavalier for me in the comments. To all my friends that have kids, please keep your eyes out for parasites. To even have a remote hand in this episode is beyond the pale for my taste. After reading this, I could only think of one word for this person, "Classy".

Shillary is comparing herself to Rocky Balboa....read that again, I'm not making it up. This crap writes itself sometimes, I swear to God. I'll give that dyke one thing, she shouldn't quit. Yes, I called her a dyke. Prove to me otherwise. Her marriage is a sham, she's married to a rapist, at worst, and cheater, at best. Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner there. Back to this giving up garbage. There are two Senators, Leahy of Vermont and Dodd of Connecticut, that are telling Hitlary to quit. Look here, Hill, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'll back you up on this one. Don't you dare quit. First and foremost, look who's asking you to quit. Really, take a good long look. Vermont ought to just cede from the Union (and as President, I will happily let them do so, but I'm taking all the maple syrup and weed first-come on, a man has his priorities), and Leahy can lead the charge to attempt to become a part of Canada (trust me, you don't want those stinky hippies, either). And Dodd, he got waxed on the Democratic debates by both you and Hussein Obama (that's his damn name, get over it). Next, why should you quit, because you're down right now by a few percentage points? It's April 1st! The DNC will be coming to Denver in August. Plenty of time to berate your opponent on his bat-shit crazy pastor. Stick around Shillary, if only for the humor factor.

Oh, a little note on the DNC coming here in Denver. Since the Dems will be coming here, there are plenty of companies being approached by the Teamsters to oust their unions and have the Teamsters take over, or even worse, become a union shop. Nothing would delight me more than to have more of this gorgeous state become Unionized. Know why? Once that happens, I guarantee you more businesses high-tail it out of here faster than you can say 'Hoffa'. I know for a fact that one of my former employers will not allow unions on-site. I'd laugh at anyone who tried to get me to a union shop. Get Bent. And I'd leave, too. Hello, Wyoming, or Montana, or Idaho. Don't care, so long as you're not a union state like Massachusetts, Illinois or Michigan. Those states are all doing great, huh?

Clemens and Congress. In case anyone has missed this little news item, certain members of Congress has a petition or memo that is stating that they believe Roger Clemens was honest during his testimony on the Hill. Great, a bunch of people in Congress, well known for their honesty (cue the sarcasm!) believe in Roger Clemens, another bastion of truth. This is too good. Since I'm originally from New England, can I remind you why he left the Red Sox, pretty please? It was so he could win a championship and be closer to Houston. Check a map, and I'll assure you that Boston is closer to Houston than Toronto. Oh, and Boston won a division 2 years before he left Boston and finished 11 games ahead of Toronto in Clemens last season in Boston, 1996.

And this is how you become leader of a team and a locker room. Well played, Mr. Cutler.

I know he's making the rounds on the talk shows and radio, but can anyone issue an apology to Jose Canseco? He may be a maggot, or slimy, or even sleazy, but if it weren't for his first book, Juiced, then we would have never gotten the Mitchell Report. I love that I get to hear how bad of a person Jose is, and I may even agree with that statement, but I haven't heard all of those attacking him and his first book make any apologies. So Jose, I hope you're spot on with this new book, and I really hope some reporter from Boston sticks it to A-Rod and asks him if he schtuped your former wife, along with taking steroids. Oh happy days are here again.

Lost in all of this new baseball season, the Mitchell Report, that debacle in Congress with Clemens and Brian McNamee, I haven't heard a whole bunch about Barry Bonds. He's not on a roster. He was 2nd in the majors last year in OPS, and yet no one wants to sign him. Look, I get it. He's a pain, he's too much in the locker room, he's a distraction, he can't field. Uh, has anyone heard of the DH? I can only think of a couple of guys that DH that would be better than Bonds. Ortiz, Hafner, Thome, Giambi and Sheffield and Thomas. There...that's it. That leaves quite a few teams in the AL that could use Bonds smack dab in the middle of their lineups. So why not sign him, this I don't get at all. Come on, I know he's old, but the guy would get on-base almost half the time..like a team couldn't use that.

Lastly, I know a lot of people don't care about this last topic, but it's something near and dear to my heart, and it's my blog, so too bad. Last night marked the end of the 36 year career of Ric Flair, The Nature Boy, from professional wrestling. That's older than me, and I'm pretty sure Ric is somewhere near his mid-50's. There were tears shed, and I'm pretty sure that they were real. Ric's good, but you really can't fake that kind of sincerity. Ric won a ton of championships, but more importantly, he entertained millions of people. I am one of those people. I know, I know, wrestling is fake, blah, blah, blah. Not necessarily. Wrestling is predetermined, but the bumps and bruises are very real. Not only that, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching Ric style and profile all these years. Ric, thanks for so many years of laughter, and for teaching every kid that in order to be the man, you gotta beat the man!