Alright, tonight is the big game, or supposed Big Game, in college football. I'm not buying it anymore...the BCS is sucking the life out of a great game. And some other time-honored traditions.
I didn't mind it when this BCS thing came about and then there was 1 game after January 1st. Honestly, it didn't bug me, and I liked that I got to watch it, and focus on that game. Now, if all the networks want to go back to that, no problem with me, and you'll have my blessing. But since my opinion doesn't matter squat, and I'm not the head of a major corporation that pours in millions of dollars to this fiasco, I get to voice my ideas over this beloved internet.
I'm not calling for a boycott of tonight's game. I'm hoping it's a good game, not a blowout like the Sugar Bowl, or the Cotton Bowl. Of course, I also flatly refuse to put a sponsors name in front of these things, especially after someone pointed out that there was a bowl game brought to us by a truck-stop...yep, that's a sign, and not a good one.
As for the game, there will be some interesting things to watch, and some really good players. First, please watch Glen Dorsey. He'll be completely healthy, something he hasn't been since October 20th, when the players and coaching staff at Auburn thought it would be okay to put a hit out on this fine ballplayer and chop-block him. Next, watch the MLB for Ohio State, James Laurinaitis. The simple fact that his old man formed one half of The Legion of Doom notwithstanding, he's an excellent LB, and leads the nation's statistically best Defense. There are other players to watch, and I know you will notice some names, like Robiskie...yes, his Dad is a coach in the NFL.
I'm going to gripe about the BCS more in a second, but for my prediction, and why, here goes: I'm picking Ohio State, 31-24. I don't trust LSU, and if I've learned one thing from every bowl season I can remember, take a look and see if any drama is around the program. Jim Tressel is as steady and as "boring" as you can get. He looks like a high school social studies teacher. Les Miles was back and forth about the Michigan Head Coaching job that he called a press conference a few hours before the SEC championship game. Add to that the fact that everytime I see an LSU game, he plays on the edge, going for it on 4-and-2, and has been burned. I think tonight is the night where he out-thinks himself and puts his team in horrible position with one of those decisions. He does enough things to make you shake your head. Tressel, all he needs to do for me is point out where Bulgaria is, and I'm fine. Now, if Glen Dorsey really is healthy, get a hold of this, because you are going to see a college lineman get triple-teamed....and to think, that's not even the name of a porn....damn!
So there's my prediction...now on to bash the BCS-I'm glad that Kansas beat VTech, and who was shocked that Georgia snot-bubbled Hawaii? Not me. Hawaii had a great year, but when it comes down to athletes and speed, there is no comparison between the WAC and the SEC. My bashing with the BCS and all these bowl games is that enough is enough. There are 32 bowl games, meaning 64 teams get to play an extra game...uh, there are only 119 Division 1-A or FCS (what the hell does that mean, anyway?) teams, so more than half get to play in a bowl game. Are you kidding me? Since when does half the class get to pass? Is college football graded on the curve? If you're a 6-6 team, suck it up and practice more for next year, not the "Holy crap are we average, thanks for the plane ticket to Detroit" Bowl. I'm tired...and I'm tired of watching. There are 5 (!) games this year after New Years Day. You clowns who have kids are infiltrating the good things in life, and I for one am tired of it. Want to see how I play connect the dots? Fine by me, here goes-
Years ago, some half-wit soccer Mom with Tubby Timmy didn't like that her chunk of a child didn't get a whole bunch of playing time-mostly because Tubby Timmy was tubby, didn't show up for practice, had bad allergies and really didn't help the morale of the team by letting the other team get past him for goals. Herm Edwards is right, "You play to win the game". So what did the Soccer Mom from Hell do? She thought it would be a great idea that all the kids get trophies for trying! Brilliant, now everyone wins. Want to see how this has played out in the last 20 years? Horribly. Now every male under the age of 18 is a freaking pansy. Great. Everyone needs to talk about their feelings, and if they even try to do the task they were set out to do, they should get an award. I've seen it in my friends kids, and it sickens me. "But I tried to take out the trash..."-Guess who? Tubby Timmy's sperm-fart, Tiny Tubby. Fan-freakin-tastic. Just what the world needs, another 'look at me, I'm adequate" nitwit with 3 therapists and a gluten allergy. UGH! I've got an announcement, the world is full of losers, no one remembers who got the silver medal in the Olympics except for their friends and family. Get over it. No one wins all the time, way it goes.
So, now everyone gets a trophy, and even a crappy 6-6 college football team gets a paid vacation for being adequate, or average. And here I was thinking the only job someone could do half right and still keep said job was the weather man, how wrong I was....
So now that I've exhaled, I need to thank the BCS for ruining a great American tradition, the one day a Man could actually sit on his ass and no woman in this great nation could bitch and moan about the trash, the Christmas lights, how his Uncle Marty farted silently on the leather couch (note-that's impossible), or writing thank you notes for the crappy two-sizes too small sweater they got from Great Aunt Margeret-New Years Day used to mean sitting on your ass, eating a lot of cheese, drinking beer, scratching, farting and channel surfing until you developed Carpal Tunnel. If the Rose Bowl was crap, you flipped it to the Cotton Bowl. Simple, and men were happy-do you get that? Happy!!! Now, I've noticed from some of my married brethren that their women don't like it when they are sleeping, or napping watching football. Well, BCS, thanks a bunch. You're already screwing with people's lives with Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and the obligatory Saturday regular season matchups, but now I can't even have my ONE day where the college football season would end? All for the almighty advertising dollar? Don't go giving me this whole "but everyone can see every game" garbage either. I'm tired of your rationale, especially when we all know it's bogus. Who else is looking forward to when PinkTaco.com endorses The Rose Bowl? Me, too.
You're the same morons who claim we can't possibly have a playoff, because that might impact the student-athletes--who are you crapping???? Have you taken a look at some of these future felons? And how could it work for Division 1-AA but not you? They play just as many games. As soon as those that run the BCS can figure out how to make money out of a playoff system, it will be done. Doesn't mean I like it, but that's where we're headed.
So BCS and all of you major conferences, can I pretty please, with sugar on top, have my New Years Day back?
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